Chapter Text
Christmas was one of Mike’s least favorite days of the year. His parents didn’t know any of his interests so he never got anything he liked, they always woke up early to go to church, and his parents always ended up fighting over something dumb. In short, Christmas was the one day a year where his family tried the hardest to look their best, yet still failed miserably.
The only upside of the day was his family’s Christmas party, which he was currently at. His family, all the Byers, Lucas, Dustin, Robin, Steve, and somehow Murray were all crowded in his basement.
Even though the world was ending all around them, they decided to still have their one night of fun. They’d earned it.
As the night went on, Holly and Ted went to bed, and the real festivities began. Robin definitely spiked the punch, because everyone was starting to look a little too loose. Nancy and Jonathan were dancing much closer than they normally did, and Steve and Robin were spinning around rather aggressively. Karen, Joyce, and even Hopper, were dancing very clumsily.
As it reached 11:00, Lucas left to visit Max, and Dustin to go back to his Mom. Mike and Will stuck together for another hour or so, hiding out in the corner while watching their siblings, siblings’ friends, and parents all slowly get drunker. Eventually, it got to the point that they knew they would soon be forced to join the dancing if they didn’t leave.
The two made eye contact and nodded before slowly inching themselves towards the stairs to escape. Will usually slept in the basement, but the party was clearly not going to end anytime soon, so he was bunking with Mike for the night.
Before they could make it to the stairs, they were stopped by Robin
“Now where are you two going?” she slurred, a smile on her face.
“Uh, to sleep,” Mike blushed for no particular reason.
For some odd reason, she smirked and stared at Will. His cheeks also pinked a little as he shook his head softly.
“Well you two have fun!” She announced, before winking and heading back to her friends.
Mike and Will stood awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of how to respond, before heading up to the main floor. Just as they thought they’d made it safely in the clear, they turned to find Murray watching them from the kitchen, vodka bottle in hand.
Will cursed under his breath, knowing Murray was not going to let them go free.
They both watched wearily as Murray took his time getting to them, walking slow and smooth, despite the dwindling bottle in his hand.
“Whatcha up to?” he asked happily.
“Going to sleep?” Mike responded.
“Together?” Murray’s eyes widened, “The scandal!”
“What-what do you, no! Like sleeping, like asleep next to each other,” Mike sputtered out.
Murray stayed silent and then suddenly broke out laughing. Mike and Will stood there and watched.
When his laughter quieted, Will tried, “We’re pretty tired. We’re gonna go to bed,” attempting to get him and Mike away before things escalated.
“Oh you go ahead, I have to ask Mike something,” Murray responded rather ominously.
Will turned to look at Mike, who was burning red, probably from the heater.
“It’s fine, you go ahead. I’ll be up in a sec,” Mike told Will. He didn’t know what Murray was going to ask him, but after hearing the story of Nancy and Jonathan, he assumed he wouldn’t want any witnesses.
Will hesitated for a second, but ultimately chose self survival over selflessness and climbed quickly up the stairs to Mike’s room.
Murray said nothing.
“Hi?” said Mike, unsure of what was going on.
“Well hello to you, too! I bet you’re having a great night!” Murray wiggled his eyebrows, sounding delighted.
“I mean I guess. It’s Christmas and we’re having a party.”
“Oh but you’ve been waiting for the party to end from the moment it started, haven’t you?” Murray asked, smiling ear to ear.
Mike’s breath picked up, just slightly.
“Uhm no. Why would I want Christmas to end?” he responded, feigning confusion.
“Since you’re so tired from all the festivities! You probably can’t wait to go sleep tonight. I’m sure Will’s feeling the same.”
“Wha-what does he have to do with this?” Mike blustered.
“Oh. You know.”
And in that moment Mike could’ve sworn Murray was picking through his brain, heart, and soul; finding everything that was never meant to be found. Somehow, this strange man was dangerously close to the secret Mike had worked to keep his entire life. He couldn’t take it any longer.
“Whatever you’re trying to say, just say it.”Mike stated.
“Oh, I don’t think I need to. The butterflies you must have in your stomach right about now should tell you everything.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Mike said angrily.
“You know I do. Just like I know your stomach flipped at the thought of sharing a room with your best friend Will Byers.”
Mike seethed silently, waiting for Murray’s punchline.
“Here’s my question, Mike: did your stomach ever do somersaults around your old girlfriend?”
With that, Murray slipped past a jaw dropped Mike, going down the stairs like he had not just danced around Mike’s biggest secret for no good reason and brought up every feeling he’d tried to push down his whole life.
After standing frozen in place for another moment, Mike realized Will would probably come looking if he didn’t join him soon. He made his way up the stairs, stopping outside the door to his room. The butterflies came back.
Mike turned, headed to the bathroom, and stared at himself in the mirror, leaning on the vanity. Worries flew through his mind. If Murray, a man who barely knew him, could guess this, could others, too? Could his sisters, or his parents, or Will?
The possibility of everyone knowing his secret made his head spin. He sunk to the cool tile floor, head against the wall, hugging his knees.
His breaths started coming a little quicker as he replayed Murray’s words over and over again, along with memories of Will and El. He searched every corner of his brain for a memory, just one, of that feeling around El.
The night they met in the woods? No. When he saw her again in California? No. That whole summer where they spent every waking moment together? No.
The butterflies were reserved for Will. Meeting on the playground. Saying they’d go crazy together. Going to the movies. Agreeing to have Will stay in his room tonight.
And his breaths grew closer and closer, pulling in less and less oxygen. He was starting to lose track of his surroundings when he heard a familiar voice.
“Mike? I was starting to get worried Murray had kidnapped you-whoa what’s wrong?”
Mike couldn’t even open his eyes, let alone form words, and stayed there, panic rising.
Will quickly shut the door, which Mike had stupidly left open behind him, and knelt down next to him.
“Mike, hey, it’s Will. You’re alright. You just need to start slowing down your breaths, okay? Try to follow me.”
Will slowly pried one of Mikes hands away from his legs and placed it directly on his own chest. Will took quick breaths to match
Mike’s and then started slowing them down in increments. In time with the hand on Will’s chest, Mike’s breaths slowly, slowly started to even out.
When they had finally returned to normal, Will set Mike’s hand back on his knee.
Mike’s breathing started to quicken again, so Will grabbed his hand again and rubbed
circles into it.
“I’m right here, okay? I’m not gonna leave you,” Will whispered.
Mike nodded weakly and slowly opened his eyes. He surveyed his surroundings, a bit confused.
Will watched as he opened and closed his mouth, clearly at a loss for words, and decided to speak first.
“I think you had a panic attack, Mike,” he started softly.
Mike nodded.
“I’m so sorry for leaving you with Murray; he clearly messed you up pretty bad,” Will continued, “Do you wanna talk about it? Maybe I can help.”
His words sobered Mike up, bringing him fully back to consciousness. He was suddenly aware of the drying tears on his face, cold sweat on his back, and hard tile floor beneath him. After a second, he realized Will was holding his hand and rubbing it soothingly.
He snatched his hand away. Will looked surprised but didn’t say anything.
“I’m fine,” Mike stated curtly, “Let’s just go sleep.”
“Are you sure? I’m not trying to push, but you don’t really look fine,” Will replied, sounding worried. He placed a calming hand on his shoulder.
Mike did not want his pity. He shrugged off Will’s hand again.
“I’m fine,” Mike repeated. “Drop it and don’t tell anyone about this.” Deep down, he realized he was being unfair. But Murray’s words swam around his head the second Will talked to him, touched him, or tried to help him, and he couldn’t handle it.
He lifted himself off the floor and headed for his room, without once looking back to check if Will was following.