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He did it. Derek managed to successfully push Avery away from here. The King can't get to him anymore. He did feel guilty since he did trick him but it was necessary.
He'll do anything to keep him safe and alive.
Now, he's face-to-face with the deteriorating King. How ironic it is that a King lost to a lord. He knows the king must've been fuming. He'll count that as a win in his book.
He's having trouble breathing at this point. His head has been throbbing persistently even more than before. Which is only natural. Afterall, a mere human can't contain the soul of a god. He's already having trouble managing all the knowledge flowing through his head every millisecond. The only thing keeping him sane is by looking at the screen.
He knows this is no way to live. Derek knows that. Afterall, he's only human. There's only so much he can endure. The reason he endured this long was because he knew despite his warnings, Avery would still follow him.
His persistent, kind, innocent and brave Avery that is willing to risk everything for a mere stranger he only met for a few minutes. It didn't make sense. Unlike him, Avery doesn't know about Derek. He's a stranger to him. It didn't make any sense. But he supposes that's just how Avery is.
Stupidly kind and brave… which is why he had to do everything he can to keep him away from the king. Avery's pure heart can't be tainted by the king. And he will do anything to keep it that way.
And he did it. Now Avery is away. Far from here. Derek stared at the screen for a while. Just stared at his character as everything sink in. He doesn't even know what to feel. He looked away from the screen. The throbbing in his head intensified even more but he endured it in favor of looking out the window. It's currently 12 am. The fireworks are going off because it's new year's eve. And somewhere, a few kilometers away… he knows Avery is still trying to get to him. Probably crying. He knows him afterall. More than he knows himself. He's kind enough to cry over a stranger even though he's in no way deserving of those tears.
He looked out the window and wondered if Avery was seeing the same scene as him. Probably. He can't help but feel guilty for starting his new year like this. But it's for the better. For him and the world… Well, mostly for him. He doesn't know when it started but somehow, Avery became his world. He knew everything about him. His personality, his insecurities, his hobbies… his favorite color… and many more. And he can't help but hold a strange fondness in his heart for the guy. Even though they never met aside from those stolen moments in the library and on the platform. He knew him anyway. He knew what's in Avery's heart. And he can't help but fall. It's easy to fall. And because of that, it made his resolution to save him even stronger.
But he would be lying if he said it wasn't painful. He's just a man afterall. He doesn't want to die. But Avery helped overcome that fear… well, maybe not fully. But yeah. Even with his head throbbing and hurting like hell, he's relieved that he managed to at least keep Avery safe.
He saw Avery's past, present and future. He knows that he'll make it. He has his whole life ahead of him afterall. He doesn't regret his decision of saving Avery. Because, at least he has a future… no, he wants HIM to have a future. He deserves to be happy afterall. Even if it's without him. He's content just keeping him safe.
…Or it's what he would like to say but he doesn't want to exactly lie to himself. He saw Avery's future. He knows he'll move on, carry on with his life, do great things and even get married. And it would be a lie to say that it doesn't hurt. If he was a little selfish and honest with himself, he would say he's jealous. Why can't it be him afterall? But yeah, fate has other plans. What can a mere human do when they're doomed from the start?
…It's almost funny how this is his ending. The throbbing headache can't compare to how his soul just… hurt. He knows if the king can see this, he would be laughing at him. At this pathetic sight. But his solace in this is that he would be taking the king down with him. The king would disappear along with him too. And he can keep Avery… his world safe from the king.
Perhaps in another universe, far from the king they would meet. But he knows that's just wishful thinking. But he can have even just that little fantasy, right? He did save the world. Let him have this, at least.
Derek looked at the clock, the fireworks were still going off. The throbbing in his head is getting worse. He knew he didn't have much time left. And so, he opened a google document and typed a letter for Avery. Just some… closure for him because he deserves it. He even took the time to pick a font instead of the default one. Times New Roman. Avery's favorite font.
He ignored the throbbing headache as he just typed whatever came into his head. More than the overbearing headache, his soul was just hurting. Not because of death- well, that's a part of it. But more because a part of him wished he could've spend a little more time with him. Even just a few stolen minutes. But he can't. Couldn't. Not in this universe. Or... Any universe where he meets the king.
He knows that even in this moment, Avery is still crying for him. And it hurts to know. He didn't deserve those tears but at the same time… he's glad that he was significant enough, that he mattered enough for Avery to cry over him. It's selfish, he knows.
Soon, he finished typing the letter. He doesn't even know why he's doing all this. Or well, he does know. Because despite the selfless action, He is selfish enough to wish Avery won't forget him. He doesn't want to be forgotten. Even when Avery moves on, he still wants to be a part of him somewhere in his heart. Would it be a sin to wish for that?
He stared at the letter for a few moments. The head ache is getting worse, it actually feels like his head is splitting over as the king slowly merges with him. He knows he doesn't have much time left. He wished he could be as brave as Avery and keep up the bravado. and he wished Avery knows that he is brave and capable of great things. Even greater than him. And that in some way, Avery became his light. Perhaps that's why he's willing to go this far just to protect his light.
Before he even knew it, he can feel dampness from his eyes. As much as he would like to keep being brave… now that he's nearing his final moments. He can't help but be scared. They say when someone is about to die, their best memories plays in their head for 7 minutes trying to find a solution. And that's happening to him now.
And all his memories were just… his memories of Avery. The knowledge he's gotten of Avery. He knows what he looks like in real life and the sound of his voice. His smile, how his eyes lit up on his favorite things. How much of a sweat he is at skywars. He knows about it and he can't help but smile even amidst the pain. Perks of infinite knowledge he supposes… but yeah… now it actually feels real. That this is happening. That he is… gonna die soon enough. But… At least he can rest in peace knowing he kept Avery safe. That he kept his world safe. That he can have a future and move forward, even if it wasn't with him. Despite how much he wanted to be there with him on that journey. But alas… he can't. He'll move on soon enough. He knows it'll take him awhile but he will. And it's selfish but he is glad Avery won't be forgetting him anytime soon.
…He really is terrible isn't he? Well, he hopes Avery can forgive him for being glad atleast. He'll forever regret not getting to accompany him but at the same time, he would do this again, sacrifice himself if it keeps Avery safe. He just hopes Avery won't resent him too much.
Well, he knows he won't. He's just kind like that. His stupidly kind and loveable Avery… What a shame it is, having all the knowledge in the universe yet couldn't use it to be together with him. He wishes he could've found a better answer but well, this is the best he found. Even with all the knowledge he gained.
Derek stared at the letter once more as he soon stopped the recording and posted it just in time. His hands and body are trembling at this point. The throbbing is full on unbearable now and his vision is starting to darken and get blurry. The last thing he saw was the fireworks going off and his thoughts of Avery. For a moment, he wondered how his hand would feel like on his at this moment. Dying by his side would be the best way to go but he knows that would only be cruel to Avery.
As selfish as it is, he doesn't wanna be forgotten by him. So he hoped… to whomever was listening that Avery would remember him for a long, long time before moving on. Or have a space in his heart. He can have atleast that much right? Or… would it be a sin? Maybe. But well… it's just a selfish desire in addition to keeping him safe. Praying that he would be kept safe and find happiness even amidst the darkness and… move forward. At any crossroads in his life.
He wants Avery to keep moving forward. Because he was Derek's light. The reason he held this long despite how hard it is to keep on living but he did it because he wants to be the one to keep him safe. Dying alone isn't so bad after all because at least somewhere in this world, someone cared enough to mourn him. And just the thought that he kept His world safe brings comfort to him even in the face of death. And now? He saved him. He saved his light and his world. And, he wants him to keep moving forward even if he'll be left behind. Even when he finally finds his letter. He wants Avery to keep moving forward. Because even with him gone from this world, Derek's heart would forever be with him.
He was never good with endings anyways.