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It had been an extremely horrible day for Hikaru Indou. It was stiflingly hot, so much so he was completely soaked through with sweat; his white hair plastered to his forehead. Not only that, but business had been particularly terrible. Almost no one in the village he’d just walked through had bought anything from him… All he wanted was a refreshing dip in a river and a nap in the shade.
Thankfully, as luck would have it, he hears the familiar sound of running water not too far off the path. With excitement, he heads into the forest. He carefully steps over fallen branches and shrubbery, pulling his faithful donkey along with him… he’d almost made it, so close he could see the river beyond the foliage. Then he trips and smacks face-first into a large tree. Having clearly disturbed it by his clumsiness, a large bird swoops down right at Hikaru and his donkey’s faces. This startles the animal so much, it rears back with a frightened grunt and takes off running back through the forest.
With a yelp, Hikaru dashes after it, stumbling his way back to the path. His donkey makes it back before him and runs as fast as it can towards the large village hedy been heading to, with all of his belongings still strapped to its back. Despite most of Japan being a mess of wars, this area was pretty secluded and peaceful. It was good for business. That’s why he was here.
Hikaru chases it with all of his might, and as he rounds a corner, he sees his donkey headed straight for two people standing on the path.
“Oh good!” Hikaru thinks. ”They can stop it!”
But as the donkey rushes right past them, neither of them even flinch. This, combined with every other annoyance from today, makes something in Hikaru snap. He stomps up to the two figures to give them a piece of his mind.
“Are you fuckin’ blind?! Did ya’ not just see the donkey that ran past you? God, are all people this stupid?? Didn’t ya’ know it’s common sense to try and help people in need?! If your donkey ran past me, I’d sure as hell try to stop it! Well now I wouldn’t though, because what goes around comes around, ya’ hear me?! I hope you both trip and fall on your stupid faces later!” He yells, trying to catch his breath from all the running. He’s already resigned himself to having to buy new supplies and a new donkey with money he doesn’t have… this donkey is long gone by now.
Before the white-haired boy can look up to see exactly who he just yelled at, a hand connects with his face so hard he falls over backwards; he brings his hand up to cover the now stinging spot that was just struck. He looks up into the sharp eyes of a middle-aged man… The taller of the two figures.
“Why… You deserve to be tortured and executed! Do you have any idea who you just insulted? I am the chief of this village, and this is my son! We are both a part of the noble Tsujinaka family, and the blatant disrespect I was just shown will not be tolerated!”
Hikaru’s heart sinks faster than a stone in water… If his day was bad before, it just became the worst day in the history of all bad days. Not only is he sweaty, hot, broke, completely without any food or supplies whatsoever, and now dirty from the ground, he just cursed out the village chief and his son. If that didn’t mean he was completely fucked, he didn’t know what did.
“Father… I do not recognize him from our village. It is clear he was not aware of who we were. So, this is nothing but a simple misunderstanding,” says the chief’s son. He has perfect black hair, perfect pale skin, and the robes he’s wearing are white. Not just any white, a perfect, shiny white. They’re so clean, it’s almost blinding… And his face. His bangs are a little too long, almost covering his dark eyes. Eyes filled not with cruelty like his father’s, but with soft kindness with a hint of melancholy.
Something about the boy relaxes and creeps Hikaru out at the same time… His soft smile and ethereal beauty almost too good to be true.
“But Yoshiki, my son! He is clearly an uneducated, ungrateful brat that needs to learn his lesson!” The father spits, looking furiously down at Hikaru, who’s still on the ground.
“It is alright. A simple apology should do. I feel that he has already learned his lesson, correct?” the boy, who Hikaru now knows is Yoshiki, looks down at him again with that slightly creepy, but comforting smile.
“You are far too soft. He will need to work off his disrespect as a servant in the palace for 6 months. And that is final,” the chief commands.
“5 months.” Yoshiki argues.
“Did you just talk back to me young man?” He asks, a tremble of fury in his voice. He stalks closer to his son, looking him in the eye, challenging him to speak again.
It obviously works, because Hikaru can clearly see the deep-rooted fear Yoshiki must hold regarding his father flicker in his eyes.
“No sir…” he responds, voice much meeker than it was mere seconds ago.
“That is what I thought,” he says, voice dangerously cold. “Take him along, he needs to be cleaned up and taught how to respectably serve people like us.”
Hikaru bristles at that tone, he hates more than anything else being referred to as ‘lesser’. Especially by a stuffy noble like him. But then Yoshiki hoists him up from the dirt… Gentle now that his father’s back is turned. His hands are soft, his body frail under the flowing white robes, but yet he seems strong… Strong enough to stand up for Hikaru and land him 6 months doing servant work rather than a life in a dungeon… Or worse, a beheading.
When they arrive within of the sprawling estate, Yoshiki’s father turns a corner away from the two boys, barking orders at some unseen people. Yoshiki gently tugs Hikaru in through a door. Inside of the room, there’s a window set high on the wall, sunlight cascading across the polished wood floors. All around and cabinets and wardrobes filled with presumably clothes, and in the corner is a large bathtub with an ornate tile design.
“Where are we…?” Hikaru asks, more than a little in awe of the location.
“The servant’s changing and bathing room,” Yoshiki answers in his usual soft tone, although everything about him seems so much kinder and more relaxed than it did outside.
“The... servants get to use a room like this?” Hikaru asks, thoroughly in shock.
“Why of course! What, did you think you would be sleeping in the horse stables or something?” The black-haired boy asks with a wry smile.
“Well... kinda,” the other boy mutters sheepishly. That makes Yoshiki laugh. A real laugh! Hikaru had heard nobles laugh before, and it was often a haughty chuckle, making fun of others. But this was a soft, beautiful sound... It makes his heart pick up speed for some reason.
“You should get changed...” Yoshiki says after he calms his laughter. “Wear whatever you would like!”
“Wait... seriously? Why are ya’ bein’ so nice to me anyway? Didn’t I ‘insult your whole bloodline or somethin’?” Hikaru asks, narrowing his eyes at him, as if searching for a hint that this is all a trap.
“Oh... Yes, I suppose you insulted me. But I quite enjoyed it!”
Hikaru stares at him. An eyebrow raised. “Uh... Ok weirdo, what do you mean you ‘enjoyed it’?? Do you have a weird kink or somethin’?”
“No, no! I simply mean to say that everyone in my life constantly filters what they say to sound more ‘proper’ or ‘respectful’, so when you told me how exactly how you actually felt, it was freeing in way.” Yoshiki explains, his voice quiet yet again... Almost shy...
“Oh.” And that’s all the white-haired boy can think to say to that.
Yoshiki gets up and starts filling the large tub with water, going around the room gathering soap and other things necessary for a bath.
“Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing?” Hikaru asks in surprise.
“Um... I am simply helping you out, do you not want me to?” Yoshiki asks, stopping what he was doing to look at the other boy.
“No, it’s fine... I just thought nobles couldn’t get their hands dirty,” He mumbles.
“Well, I am not like other nobles,”
“No, ya’ really aren’t,”
A Yoshiki continues filling the bath, Hikaru wanders around the room, looking in all of the cabinets and drawers until he picks out the simplest outfit he can find... it still doesn’t quite feel right for him to take more than that.
“The bath is ready!” Yoshiki calls, and Hikaru gets filled with a sudden feeling of giddy happiness. He went from miserable, to even more miserable, to now being able to have a hot bath in the first time since... he can’t even remember when! He throws off his clothes and scrambles into the warm water, sinking into its steamy depths. He glances back up at Yoshiki... only to see that he is blushing bright red and looking away, hiding behind his long, white sleeves.
He snickers. “What? Can’t handle seeing someone else’s body?” He questions teasingly.
“You should not have just shamelessly stripped like that! It caught me off guard is all,” Yoshiki grumbles. “Regardless... I have to leave. Your room is up the stairs at the end of this hall, and then the 3rd door on the right,”
“I get my own room?!” Hikaru exclaims, looking shocked.
“Yes, of course... Alright. Goodbye now, I will be seeing you later,” he responds, waving shyly before exiting the room.
The white-haired boy’s heart stutters strangely at those soft-spoken words... So, he simply looks down into the water, fidgeting with his fingers until he hears the door click shut.
Hikaru finishes his bath and dries off, before changing into the clothes he’d picked out earlier. They’re cleaner and softer than anything he’s ever worn, and he can’t help feeling thankful. The fabric is cold and silky as he walks up the stairs and enters the room he was directed into.
It’s not huge, but it’s bigger than anything he’s ever had to himself before. It has simple, beige-colored walls, a smallish bed in the corner, and a tiny window set high on the wall with simple black curtains over it. There’s also a desk against the wall by the bed, but he doesn’t know what for. Most low-class people in this area can’t read or write. Maybe they just didn’t have anywhere else to store the thing. He walks over to the bed and collapses onto it, relishing the feeling of a soft mattress underneath him for the first time in ages. His long day finally catches up to him, and he drifts off to sleep.
A few hours later (Hikaru doesn’t know how exactly how many, but it mustn’t have been very much because he’s still sleeping soundly) he hears knocking on his door. The knocks are soft, somewhat hesitant... And he immediately knows who’s on the other side of that chipped, wooden door.
He drags himself out of bed and turns the handle, the tarnished metal cold under his hand. The door swings open, revealing a familiar face with kind, dark eyes, soft black hair, a unique pattern of moles, and a gentle smile that he’s already growing hopelessly accustomed to.
“What are you doin’ here?” Hikaru asks, even though he probably already knows...
“Um... I came to make sure you were comfortable... And to see if you needed anything... If you do, I will go retrieve it for you right away!” Yoshiki exclaims earnestly.
Hikaru blinks... maybe he got knocked out when he was slapped earlier, or maybe it was when he fell into that tree, and this is all some fantasy dream, because no noble son of the village chief would ever be standing at the door to his room, offering him whatever he may need. Right...?
Hikaru just stares, open-mouthed and completely frozen in place, his heart beating faster than his donkey ran away earlier. Some strange part of him wants to ask him to stay... But that would be stupid and way too vulnerable. He’s sure Yoshiki would just use it against him later because everyone eventually betrays everyone.
“Can I uh... Come in?” Yoshiki asks hopefully, and all of Hikaru’s distrust just crumbles. He’s given up trying to deny how much he wants to be close to this ridiculously pretty noble, and it only took one little question. Pathetic.
“Yeah... come on in...” He says, his voice all weird and quiet, like he forgot how to speak altogether.
Yoshiki comes in and sits with a gentle grace on the edge of Hikaru’s bed. He looks so out of place here... like a perfect, bright and pristine thing placed in a dank and dusty little room... But yet, Hikaru wants him to stay here with him forever.
“I... I feel kind of bad. You probably had an entire life to yourself, and I just forced you to come work here for six months,” Yoshiki says after a beat, his fingers fidgeting with the fabric of his perfectly clean robes.
“No, I... Didn’t really have much of anything. Plus, you saved my life so... Why would I be mad at ya’ for that?” Hikaru sits down beside him, gently nudging him with his shoulder. “Thanks for that, actually...”
“It was no problem. I would not have been able to stand it if I had let you get killed...” the black-haired boy murmurs, glancing away once more. They both sit there in semi-awkward silence for a bit, before Yoshiki speaks up again: “You have servant training early tomorrow morning, so I should let you get some rest,” he stands up from the bed.
The pitiful, desperate, touch-starved part of Hikaru wants nothing more than to yank Yoshiki back down beside him and make him hold him all night long like a child... But all he says is: “‘Kay! Goodnight,”
“Goodnight,” the other boy responds, before the door clicks shut behind him, leaving Hikaru alone once more.
*~*
Yoshiki walks as quickly and as quietly as he can through the empty corridors of the estate. If he gets caught, he’ll have no real excuse because his bathroom chambers are connected to his room, and he has a glass of water on his bedside table... And there’s not really any other reason he’d have for getting out of bed. Thankfully, he makes it back to his room without issue. He walks across his expansive bedroom floor, before flopping most ungracefully onto his bed.
He rolls over, buries his face into a pillow, and makes a noise that sounds like a strange mix of a squeal, a groan, and a scream... A sound definitely not befitting of the village chief's son. Saying “goodnight” to Hikaru earlier was a bold-faced lie. This is no “good night” this is the worst night of all nights! Yosiki has read many books in the past, often featuring romantic heroes who save a lovely maiden from certain doom, then proceeding to marry out of their newfound true love. Due to being a noble, he’d never spared much thought to romance, assuming his father would ship him off to marry a woman from another village. But now, something truly treasonous, terrible, and oh, so lovely had happened.
Yoshiki had fallen in love. With none other than the scruffy peasant who’s going to be working in his house for the next 6 whole months.
Over the next couple weeks, Yoshiki doesn’t see Hikaru hardly at all, except for passing glances in the halls... Every time that happens, Hikaru would give him a cute, lopsided smile... absent of all of the distrust Yoshiki had seen in his face before. The truth he’s learned to admit to himself is that he probably fell for Hikaru the second he told him to “fall on his stupid face” outside on that path. For several hours that night he’d wondered why on Earth he’d saved him… Before coming to the treasonous conclusion he’d come to.
The main reason Yoshiki hadn’t been seeing Hikaru these 2 weeks was because he was going through servant training and Yoshiki himself was more busy that usual with his boing noble duties. Etiquette lessons, paperwork signing, and attending random events. But he’s also been avoiding Hikaru on purpose... He knows neither of them are idiots, but he’s still worried he’ll say or do something stupid and they’ll both get caught. If someone caught them, they’d both get executed... he knows that. Despite being the oldest son, his relationship with his father had always been strained. He was too ‘softhearted’ or too ‘rebellious’. He treated the lower class with respect, he slacked off on his duties, and often talked back to adults. In fact, he’s sure his father would rejoice at the opportunity to get rid of him. His littler sister had always been way better at living in noble society. She was respectful, quiet, dainty, and had the right amount of haughtiness to sneer at peasants as she walked through the town in her perfectly cleaned robes, polished shoes, and flashy jewelry. Completely unlike him...
But finally, two weeks after Hikaru first came to the palace... Yoshiki knows the servant training is done. Late that same night he silently exits his room and hurries down a flight of stairs, around a corner, and at a door he’s had the location of ingrained in his mind by the shameful fantasies he’s been having these past weeks. He reaches out and knocks softly, waits, hears some rustling, and then the door swings open, revealing Hikaru.
Yoshiki had forgotten all of the small details about his face... His cute, crooked teeth, the way his hair falls on his forehead, the shape of his lips and nose, the grayish color of his eyes... All of it sets Yoshiki’s heart racing.
“Are you ever gonna come in?” Hikaru asks, breaking the black-haired boy from his daydreaming.
“O-Oh! Right, sorry,” Yoshiki says, stepping into the small room and sitting on Hikaru’s bed. Just like last time. Hikaru sits right beside him. “So... how did everything go with training?”
“It was all pretty boring. I had to polish the entire dining room floor on Wednesday... My back STILL aches,” he complains. “It’s all better than bein’ dead though...” He shoots a little smile at Yoshiki... which doesn’t help his racing heart one bit.
“Actually, um... Do you want to come with me?” Yoshiki asks suddenly.
“Oh, sure! Where are we goin’?”
The other boy doesn’t respond. Instead, he grabs Hikaru’s hand and leads him out of his room, down the hallway, up a flight of stairs, and into Yoshiki’s room...
“Whoa this bedroom is hella big!” Hikaru exclaims excitedly, looking around with awe.
“Yes... This is my room,”
They stand there awkwardly, still holding hands, before Yoshiki yanks his hand away and flushes pink.
“Why’d ya’ take me up here?” The white-haired boy asks, tilting his head in curiosity as he looks at Yoshiki.
“I guess... I just wanted you to know where it is. I can visit you whenever, and now you can visit me whenever,” he responds softly.
“Seriously? I can come here whenever?” Hikaru asks, a glint of excitement in his gray eyes.
“I mean, yes... As long as you make sure not to get caught, of course,” Yoshiki says.
They both sit on the edge of Yoshiki’s soft bed and just... talk. They both share stories from their childhood, hardships they’ve had... and despite their huge difference in status, they have way more in common than they thought they would.
Yoshiki feels himself becoming at peace in another’s company for the first time in... who knows how long! And that definitely doesn’t help those growing feeling flitting through his chest. He longs to pull Hikaru onto the bed beside him and fall asleep curled against him. That would be so wonderful... But also it would be a huge mistake. This growing friendship of theirs is risky enough, anything more would just be... too much. Not yet. Maybe someday, somewhere... but not yet. He doesn’t even know if Hikaru feels the same way he does!
After about an hour and half of talking like that, Hikaru stands up, stretching. Yoshiki stands up as well.
“Alright. I should probably go to bed...” He takes a hesitant step towards the black-haired boy... as if he wants to hug him or something.
Yoshiki’s heart leaps, and every emotion he’s ever had screams at him at let him... But the logical side of his brain knows that this is all going way too fast, and there needs to be a clear boundary. They’re not even supposed to be friends, much less hugging... Yoshiki steps back.
“Yes... bed... Uh, goodnight Hikaru,” he says, feeling like he should start crying at the sight of disappointment in Hikaru’s eyes. But he’s supposed to be the calm one... the composed one... The logical one. As much as it hurts... so he just watches silently as Hikaru exits the room.
*~*
A whole month’s worth of excruciatingly boring activities passes without a single real meeting with Yoshiki... Except of course, when he asks him for something in a cold distant tone, and Hikaru respond with “yes, young master” But that doesn’t count.
One night, a servant higher up than Hikaru announces that there will be a large party at the estate tonight, and that everyone needs to be available to help.
With that, Hikaru and the rest of the servants work their asses off the whole rest of the day. Cleaning, cooking, and setting everything up so that it’s pristine, perfect, and beautiful. Perfectly befitting of nobles.
Yoshiki’s father soon comes into the room to make sure it’s satisfactory, and he sends all of the servants, including Hikaru, to stand against the wall and not draw attention to themselves.
Most of the night is excruciatingly boring... Hikaru stands there as Yoshiki and a bunch of well-dressed adults laugh about completely unfunny things, and calmly discuss other trivial matters...
Suddenly, one of the people sitting at the table stares directly at Hikaru.
“You. Go fetch me a glass of water,” he commands in a rude tone. That makes the white-haired boy clench his fists in anger, but he doesn’t talk back. He just calmly exists the dining room and heads to the kitchen. It takes him a second to find both the kitchen and a clean glass for water, but then he fills it up. He stats heading back before he hears angry whispering... furious and fast in whatever they’re saying. Curiosity gets the best of him and Hikaru presses himself against the wall and sneaks over to where he hears the voice... and his heart sinks when he sees the source.
Yoshiki’s father is out in the hall, firmly gripping his son’s chin, forcing him to look into his eyes... it’s obvious Yoshiki is in pain and trying to hold back tears.
“... worthless brat. Go up to your room. You don’t deserve to stand alongside proper humans like us,” he spits, and Hikaru wants to storm out into the open and throw the glass of water as hard as he can at the man, but he restrains himself... even as Yoshiki finally pulls out of the grasp and runs away like a frightened animal up the stairs.
His father calmly brushes his shirt off and goes back into the dining room. Hikaru waits a good minute so he won’t be suspected of spying, before heading inside as well. He hands the man who asked earlier his glass of water and goes and stands back against the wall, beside the highest-ranked servant here.
His eyes find Yoshiki’s father... Who’s smiling and laughing as if he hadn’t just been abusing his son in the hallway.
“I feel like I’m going to be sick... I need to go,” Hikaru whispers suddenly to the servant beside him, who looks startled.
“Quick, quick! Go! Don’t do it on the floor!” He hisses urgently and Hikaru exits quickly. He wasn’t actually going to be sick, but the sight he’d just seen sure made it seem like a possibility. But all he really wanted was to go check on Yoshiki.
Hikaru slips through the empty hallways, up familiar staircases and to Yoshiki’s room. He enters without knocking, thinking that doing so might make him think it was someone else. When he steps inside though, he feels his heart break at the sight. Yoshiki is curled into himself on his bed, sobbing quietly.
“Yoshiki...?” Hikaru asks, voice slightly shaky from his worry. He shuts the door behind him and approaches the bed. The crying boy jumps and quickly stifles his sobs before seeing who it is and just breaking down further. “Hey... hey it’s ok...” he says gently, crawling onto the bed and hesitantly reaching out, before resting his hand on Yoshiki’s shoulder.
Yoshiki rolls over closer to Hikaru, and the white-haired boy can’t help himself anymore... he lays down and pulls him against his chest with a gentleness he didn’t know he possessed. He feels the boy relax against him, sobs quieting to shaky sniffles.
It takes a good, long while... But finally Yoshiki falls completely silent. Hikaru listens to him breathe for a few minutes before finally speaking.
“You good?” He asks... the black-haired boy pulls away enough to look at him. His face is tear-stained and his eyes are puffy, but he has a small smile on his lips.
“Yes... I actually am now. Thank you... How did you know I was here...?” He asks.
“Well... One I had to go fetch a glass of water for one of those stuffy nobles at the table, and then I happened to see what happened in the hallway, so I made up an excuse to slip away,” Hikaru responds. He reaches out a hand, hesitates, before gently wiping away a few tears from Yoshiki’s cheek. Then he sees it... the light bruises forming on the other boy’s chin and neck from where his father had gripped his face. Hikaru feels a burning rage form in the pit of his stomach, and he brushes his fingertips lightly over the marks. “He hurt you...” Hikaru says in a quiet tone, frustration laced into the words.
“Yeah, he did... I think that I’m used to it by now though... these ones won’t hurt as bad as some...” he replies.
The rage inside of Hikaru just burns hotter at that. “You’re... used to it?! And he’s done worse?! I’m gonna kill that bastard...” He mutters under his breath, seething at this point.
Then he feels Yoshiki’s small, soft, cold hands gripping his. “I really do appreciate your concern, but please don’t attempt that... We would both just get killed and you know it...”
And the second Hikaru’s eyes meet the other’s gentle, earnest ones... the rage just crumbles away. He’s the weakest person alive when it comes to Yoshiki...
“Your father’s just an abusive maniac. You don’t deserve that shit,” Hikaru grumbles half-heartedly, pulling Yoshiki against him again, who lets out an adorably surprised squeak at the action.
“This is risky you know...” The black-haired boy mumbles, but he makes no attempt to move away.
“Don’t care. I’m stayin’ all night,” Hikaru responds.
“Fine... I can’t say that I truly mind...”
*~*
There are three things that Yoshiki finds odd when he wakes up and his brain hasn’t fully woken up yet.
1. Sunlight is shining in his eyes, which is strange because he’s in the hard-set habit of closing his curtains before going to sleep.
2. He slept through the entire night, which rarely happens because his paranoia that his father will storm into his room in the middle of the night causes him to wake up every few hours.
3. He’s pressed against the warmest, comfiest pillow in the whole world.
Wait-
Yoshiki scrambles back and rubs his eyes. Blinking as his brain catches up to him and memories from last night come flooding into his brain.
Hikaru wakes up too, startled.
“Is somethin’ happining??” He asks, fully awake within seconds.
Yoshiki flushes bright red and buries his face in his hands... He hadn't meant to pull away like that. He’d just never woken up beside someone before... and seeing Hikaru with his hair messy from sleep, and a tired dullness to his eyes is doing things to him that makes him want to jump out of his window or crash his lips against the other boy’s... maybe he wants both, actually.
“No... Nothing is happening... I was just surprised that you were still here...” He mutters in embarrassment as he forces his heart to slow down.
“Surprised...? I wouldn’t just leave ya’ all alone like an asshole,” Hikaru replies, raching out to flick Yoshiki’s forehead.
“Ow! What was that for?” He whines in protest, covering the spot on his forehead that was just flicked.
“That was for bein’ stupid. I would never just up and leave you after what you went through last night!”
Damn. If Yoshiki wasn’t already so head-over-heels for this idiot it hurt, he just fell into a deeper hole because... No one has ever treated him this kindly in his whole life. It makes his eyes well up with happiness and frustration; the feelings curling together into a confusing knot in his throat.
He lunges forward and wraps himself around Hikaru once again, burying his face in the other’s shoulder.
“You made me feel safe last night for the first time since I can remember...” Yoshiki whispers, his voice soft with vulnerability.
Hikaru tightens his hold around him. “Then I’ll do it every night I can... you can either come to my room, or me to yours. You deserve to feel safe...”
And at that moment, Yoshiki decides he simply doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that Hikaru is a servant, and he a noble... He doesn’t care that their love would still be forbidden even if Hikaru had respectable blood running through his veins, because he simply loves him. He loves him more than he’s ever loved or been loved in his whole life. But it still would be far to traitorous a thing to admit that... So, he just relishes in the feeling of Hikaru’s arms around him for as long as he can.
The next few months slip by... and they are the happiest months Yoshiki has ever lived. He knows that he and Hikaru crossed the line between friends and something more so long ago, they couldn’t even see that line anymore. But he doesn’t mind... he gets to be held most nights by strong, comforting arms... he gets his wounds bandaged whenever his father hits him so hard he bleeds... He’s finally happy, finally living a proper life, and finally has someone who comforts him.
But despite all of this, he can’t help but yearn for something more... He wants Hikaru so badly it hurts some nights. He lays still and silent in the white-haired boy’s arms as he sleeps... wishing he could pin him to the bed and take every inch of him for himself... some night he wishes Hikaru would snap first and take him that way too.
But those are the most traitorous thoughts of them all... the most monstrous things a man could possibly think... But yet he wants it so bad he can’t bring himself to care.
And maybe he should’ve just stuck with his logical side and never gone to that ball... But it’s not like he had much choice in the matter. He just didn’t know things would spiral like that.
It was autumn now... 5 months since Hikaru first started working at the palace... Only one more month of time left for him here. Yoshiki is honestly surprised that they haven't been caught in their late-night cuddle sessions, but he’s always been a quiet walker and a good liar. And now he’d been invited to attend a ball in the capital. All of the nearby village leaders and their families were expected to attend, unless they were horribly ill of course. Unfortunately, Yoshiki was not horribly ill, so he was dressed in his finest robes and taken away to the party in a carriage.
While there, he decides to let himself have a bit of fun for once. He talks cordially with the young women his father makes him “look for options” in... and he even has enough alcohol to make him slightly tipsy. He doesn’t get back home until very late that night, but there’s Hikaru, waiting for him on his bed. He shoots Yoshiki a lazy smirk... A normal greeting, but that night, with the alcohol coursing through him pleasantly, it might as well have been a direct invitation.
The black-haired boy lets the robe slip half-off of his shoulders as he crawls onto the bed, feeling some sort of giddy adrenaline making him way more confident than he should be.
“Oh... Uh... Good evening to you too? What are you doin’?” Hikaru asks, a slightly nervous edge to his voice as Yoshiki gets even closer, gently taking the other’s chin in his hand, looking deep into those beautiful gray eyes.
“I’m doing what I should’ve done a long while ago...” Yoshiki murmurs, his voice tight with something desperate and needy.
“Whoa. Ok... Did you have too much to drink?” Hikaru asks, trying to change the subject as Yoshiki moves even closer and his cheeks blush bright red.
“Yeah, probably. Alcohol makes me do stupid things... and you’re pretty stupid,” Yoshiki giggles before his gaze softens and he captures Hikaru’s lips in a kiss. Despite never having done anything like this before, 5 months' worth of festering fantasies pour out into this kiss, and he pushes Hikaru flat down onto the bed underneath him.
When he finally separates their lips, Hikaru looks dazed and a ridiculously big smile is on his face. “Damn... I've wanted you to do that for a while,”
“Can I... do more?” Yoshiki asks, voice cracking with how badly he wants to.
“Please do... As long as I get to do more to you too,” He responds.
Yoshiki doesn’t have the braincells left to respond, and he grinds down on Hikaru’s groin, evoking a soft groan from the other boy as he feels both himself and the other growing harder... he’s never done anything like this before, but he lets his instincts take over as he slips his clothes fully off and watches as Hikaru does the same underneath him.
Desire grows in the pit of his stomach and he captures Hikaru’s lips in yet another fiery kiss.
Hikaru clings to Yoshiki, arms wrapping around him as he pulls him down, biting down hard on his neck... the black-haired boy lets out a small whimper of pained satisfaction as Hikaru does it again in a different, more sensitive spot.
Yoshiki retaliates by trailing gentle kisses all down Hikaru’s neck and chest, feeling him shiver underneath him just turns him on harder though and he grinds their now exposed erections against each other... making them both moan in the process.
“Put it... in your mouth,” Hikaru gasps out as Yoshiki grinds down again.
“What?” Yoshiki hisses as another whimper escapes his lips, before his tipsy brain registers the words... And he feels his heart rate pick up speed in excitement. “A-Alright...”
He places one last sloppy kiss on Hikaru’s lips. Before crawling down the bed, mouth watering at the mental image of Hikaru’s admittedly impressive growth in his mouth.
The second he starts sucking, tongue caressing the sightly bumpy surface of the shaft, Hikaru’s hips buck upwards as he lets out a strained groan.
“F-fuck... why the hell are ya’ so good at this?” He grits out between moans of pleasure.
Yoshiki feels his lust growing only stronger as a bit of Hikaru’s pre-cum leaks down his throat.
He pulls his head back for a moment to catch his breath, caressing Hikaru’s upper thighs with gentle motions.
“Are you... close?” He asks, panting.
“Yeah... Stop teasing me already, it’s painful,” Th white-haired boy says, voice shaking from the feeling.
Yoshiki wraps his hands around Hikaru’s cock and starts stroking it with a steady rhythm... He feels a bit of cum beginning to leak out and he leans down, lapping it up with his tongue. The slightly tangy taste turns him on more so that he was already, and the feeling of his tongue makes Hikau let out a loud whimpering moan as the rest of his cum pours out into Yoshiki’s mouth.
“F-fuck... get over here” He grunts out, and Yoshiki immediately obeys, sliding beside Hikaru as the white-haired boy heaves himself on top of the other, pinning his wrists above his head, still panting from his release. “My turn,” he smirks, the possessive edge to his voice making Yoshiki’s intoxicated brain even more giddy that it already was (if that’s even possible).
He starts grinding down on him like Yoshiki was doing earlier, except he doesn’t stop... he just keeps grinding until Yoshiki is reduced to a blushing, whimpering mess beneath him, pre-cum already leaking from his erection.
Hikaru lowers his head down and takes it in his mouth, and Yoshiki can suddenly understand why it affected Hikaru so much... the feel of his tongue roughly caressing his shaft makes him feel so painfully good, he cums right then and there, moaning loudly as he feels Hikaru’s lips pull away from his dick.
“S-sorry... I came too soon huh?” He asks, completely out of breath.
“No, it’s fine... I couldn’t have kept going anyway,” Hikaru admits, his voice shaky from pleased exhaustion as he collapses beside the black-haired boy, pulling him against his chest.
Their sheets are slightly crusty, and they’re both sweaty and completely naked... but tangled together like this, the dull ache of their exertion starting to set in, Yoshiki thinks it feels just like heaven.
*~*
As they fall asleep, Hikaru whispers the words he hadn’t dared even admit to himself until Yoshiki had started what happened tonight: “I love you...”
*~*
The door to Yoshiki’s room bursts open, light streaming in from the small gaps of the curtains perfectly illuminates the clothes strewn on the floor, highlighting in perfect detail the sight of two boys curled together, bite marks on Yoshiki’s neck... their hair ruffled from sleep and their legs tangled together.
Hikaru wakes up at the sound, head pounding and body aching. He blinks in confusion, before his eyes land on the red-faced, stock-still figure standing in the doorway and his heart drops to his stomach.
“Yoshiki...!” Hikaru whispers urgently, hoping with his whole heart that this is just a dream, and illusion only he can see, but when Yoshiki wakes up, winces when the hangover hits him, and rolls over to look at the doorway groggily. He goes as stiff as a board.
“F-father...?” He whispers, voice painfully small.
“Put on your clothes. Both of you. If you move out of this room I will kill the servant. I’m getting the guards.” Yoshiki’s father’s voice is eerily calm... It shakes Hikaru to his core and he and Yoshiki quickly slide on last night’s clothes as fast as they can.
They don’t dare utter a word to each other... But Yoshiki is pale and shaking, he looks exactly like Hikaru feels. Neither of them say a thing as they’re grabbed by guards carrying spears and yanked roughly down the stairs and to the cellar, tossed in a damp, moldy cell that smells faintly of rotting flesh.
Hikaru just sits silently on the floor, staring blankly, completely unthinking at the wall. He finally snaps back to reality when he hears Yoshiki vomiting in the corner of the cell. The fear-induced adrenaline, rough handling, and rotten smell of the dungeon probably too much for his hangover.
When the boy finishes emptying his stomach, he stumbles over to where Hikaru is sitting, and the white-haired boy opens his arms... The other collapses into his chest and starts sobbing. Loud, desperate cries that break Hikaru’s very soul... Tears burn his own eyes and start streaming silently down his cheeks as well.
“I-it’s all my fault... I’m such an idiot... Why would I have done that?! Now y-you're gonna die, and it’s gonna be all my fault... and you’re just gonna die and it’s all my fault!” He says, words garbled as he continues sobbing into Hikaru’s chest.
“It’s... It’s not your fault, Yoshiki... I-I shouldn’t have been in your room when you came back... I shouldn’t have let you do that...” He says voice cracking in a choked sob of his own. “And you’re probably gonna die too, huh?”
Yoshiki nods against him, sobs quieting to shaky hiccups. “L-let’s get married...” He whispers.
If it weren’t for the circumstances, Hikaru might’ve laughed. Instead, he just pulls back from the tight embrace, a bewildered expression on his tear-stained face.
“I know how this works... My father wastes no time in executing people, so we’ll probably die tomorrow... I was thinking we could just get married, instead, you know?” He explains softly, as if this is a completely normal thing to say.
“W-what?! Did you hit your head? Execution means death. Your father isn’t going to let us get married instead! That doesn’t even make sense! Also, who says that we’re dying! I’ll find a way out and we can run away and grow old together and-”
Yoshiki cuts him off with a kiss and pulls back with a gentle smile.
“We’re not escaping, Hikaru... Even if we did escape the dungeon, we’d just get caught outside. My father has guards surrounding the castle and the village border. And I know what an execution is... I just thought it’d be nice if we got married during it, you know? We can say the proper vows, and the whole village will be watching! Plus, the promise includes “until death do us part” But we can change that to “until we meet again in death” because that’s what we’ll be doing... I love you so much, I’m going to ensure we’re reincarnated together again and again. If we’re born again as cats, I’ll lay in the sun with you every day. If we're born again as flowers, I’ll grow beside you every time. If we’re born again as birds, I’ll fly by your side as long as I live... and if we ever are reborn as humans, I’ll make sure I find you no matter how far away you are,”
Hikaru wants to cry again... how is this possible? With death looming over their shoulders he’s holding the sweetest boy on the planet who’s promising to be with him in every universe and reincarnation... He doesn't think that’s fair in the slightest...
“I don’t deserve you one bit... you know that right?” The white-haired boy asks in awe.
“You deserve the world,” Yoshiki whispers sweetly, kissing him again.
And somehow, someway... Hikaru feels safe in that dank, moldy dungeon cell.
With no indication of the passage of time, for there are no windows, the next day arrives soon.
Guards come marching down the stairs to grab them both roughly yet again, and despite the fact he’s about to die, despite the fact that he should be struggling and begging for his life... He realized that his execution had just been postponed 5 months, and he’d lived out a life that should’ve been restrained to fantasy. He’d kissed a noble for heaven’s sake! How much better could it get? Plus, now they’re going to get married…
As the two boys approach the chopping block, Hikaru hears Yoshiki’s father reading their list of crimes to the crowd of villagers watching… But then Yoshiki turns and shoots him a blinding smile, and suddenly, the list of crimes sound like vows, the shining axe near the foreboding block of cement looks like a wedding ring…
Strength floods Hikaru and he yanks himself from the guard and grabs Yoshiki’s face with both of his hands and kisses him with every drop of love he has in his veins… Distantly, the white-haired boy hears the crowd gasp, and glimpses mothers covering their children’s eyes.
To imagine… Taking a child no older than 10 to see an execution, but a simple kiss is too much for their eyes? It makes a flare of rage ignite in Hikaru’s stomach… But then Yoshiki pulls back and whispers:
“Till we meet again in death, my love…”
Then he’s pulled roughly towards his death bed to-be, smiling all the way. Hikaru shuts his eyes and hears the sharp slice of the axe, and the “thunk” as it hits the block.
He’s filled with a sense of peace as he remembers Yoshiki’s promise to find him in every lifetime, and as his head is shoved down against the cold, hard stone beneath him, he graciously accepts death.
Even though it wasn’t here, someday, somehow… They’ll get their happy ending. He knows it.