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"Hey, Ed."
Ed looks up from where he seems to be having difficulties with some paperwork. He beams when he sees who it is.
"Hey, Feathers!" He wiggles on the couch to make room for him, and Rowan sits down a little gingerly. "Wassup?"
"I - um. The other day…"
Ed grimaces. He knows exactly what Rowan is talking about. The other day, Ed had been bound, rope tied intricately around his body. Rope was wrapped around his arms and wrists, keeping them still and straight behind his back, whilst framing his chest delicately around the front. His legs were frog-tied, ankles to thighs, and he was kneeling on the floor, a thick silk ribbon wrapped around his eyes. A simple brown leather collar was wrapped around his neck. Peter shoved him forwards and started fucking him from behind, whilst Elliot worked his own cock into Ed's mouth. All Ed could do, bound as he was, was take it.
And then Rowan walked in.
"I - yeah. Sorry about that. Again. We really need better locks."
Rowan flushes, but waves the apology off.
"That's not what I - nevermind. I -" he trails off, looking more than a little out of place. Ed softens and pushes his papers aside.
"What's up?"
Rowan stutters a little more.
"Um. The, um. Rope."
"Oh, shibari?"
"Huh?"
Ed laughs a little, but it's not cruel.
"Shibari. It's like, Japanese bondage. It's pretty!" The marks it leaves on his skin are the prettiest part, he thinks, but he doesn't bring this up lest he scare Rowan away.
"Shibari," Rowan mutters under his breath. "And you - you. Like it? That was stupid. Of course you like it. Sorry, I'll -"
He gets up to leave but Ed tugs him back down with a grin.
"Rowan, it's okay. You have questions?"
Rowan is bright red. He nods.
"Okay. That's okay. You can ask them."
Rowan buries his face in his hands and makes a sound that is a little like air coming out of a balloon. Ed rubs his back between his wings sympathetically.
"How. Why do you. Like. It." He grits out into his palms, voice muffled. Ed takes a moment to think, and when he answers, his voice is soft and thoughtful.
"I - I dunno, really. I like anything that… that means I have no control. I like being, uh. Helpless?" It's his turn to flush. "Um. The ropes - the ropes are like. A physical reminder of that. I dunno. It does something to my brain, I think - I go all gooey and everything is all dreamy. It's… nice. Like I'm not really a person anymore. I just go offline."
Rowan hums. He leans into Ed's side, his wings twitching.
"So it's just a. Sex. Thing."
Ah.
"Mm. Well, usually, with me, but that's because I'm insatiable." Rowan laughs, and Ed feels better. "But it doesn't have to be. Sometimes - sometimes I tie Ellie up. They get so in their head, y'know? They just need - they need to, y'know. Be still, for a bit. That isn't sexual."
Rowan is quiet for a bit.
"…does it hurt?"
"No. It can be a little uncomfy, but… if it's done right, it doesn't hurt. Not unless I want it to."
Rowan pulls a face at this, and Ed laughs softly.
"Do you… that is, do you think that… could… um." Rowan stammers a little incomprehensibly.
"Yes?"
"DoyouthinkIcouldtryitout?" The question comes out in one long breath. Ed blinks, and then grins.
"Oh, absolutely," he says.
Rowan looked at the spread in front of him with a little trepidation, but mostly excitment.
He couldn't get the thought of ropes out of his head. Once he had seen Ed all tied up, all he could think about was how it must feel to have that coarse jute digging into his own skin, the feeling of handing over control. It was terrifying. He needed it.
"So, the minute it's bad for you, we'll stop, alright?" Ed is looking up at him, sincere and ever-patient. Rowan gives him a small smile.
"Yes. Yes, I - okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay."
Ed grins back.
The room is softly lit; not by candles, but with some sort of spell illuminating the flowers on the walls. Rowan appreciates that; he appreciates the lack of flames. Edward looks soft and unintimidating, in purple sweatpants and a dark orange T-shirt.
"You can do this clothed," Ed says, "But it would probably be better if you were at least in your underwear? No pressure though!" He gives Rowan another reassuring smile. Rowan feels a little self-concious, which makes him feel a little stupid, considering this whole thing started with him walking in on Ed getting spit-roasted.
Ed's right, though. He wants to feel the ropes against his body. He wants to feel like he's in his body.
"I'll give you a moment?" Ed says, and Rowan nods. Ed disappears out the room and Rowan takes a moment to breath. He takes off his shirt, trying not to look at the scars that litter his chest. He kicks off his shoes, his socks, pulls off his trousers, and leaves them in a neat pile in the corner. He feels a little silly just standing in Ed and Elliot's room in his boxers, so after a little bit of awkward shifting he sinks to his knees on the soft rug in front of the bed. There's a full length mirror to the side of him, that he makes eye contact with and then looks away, blushing. The room is pleasantly warm, and the rug is plush under his knees. He runs his hands through the soft fibres and closes his eyes and just exists. It's just him, his wings heavy behind him, and nothing hurts.
Before long, there's a knock at the door and then Ed is coming back in. He swallows drily at the sight of Rowan on his knees and wanders over.
"Okay," he says. "Blindfold? Or no?"
Rowan considers this for a moment. Part of him wants to say yes, to give himself over completely. But he wants to appreciate the artistry.
"No," he whispers. "Not today."
Ed disappears over to the bed and then comes back with the rope; it's a dark red colour, something Ed had excitedly pointed out would go well with his wings. Rowan had wordlessly agreed.
"Could I have your hands, please?"
Rowan lifts his hands from the rug and holds them out, arms outstretched and palms facing forwards. The rope stays by Ed's side; instead, he just runs his own hands up and down Rowan's arms gently.
"I'm not gonna tie them behind your back, 'cause of the wings. I'll tie them like this. It'll feel a little weird, but any time you need a break, or for me to pause, just tell me, okay? We're not gonna be doing anything crazy, 'cause it's your first time and also. I am not usually the one to be doing this, but we'll have fun, alright? It's just me."
He continues stroking his palms up and down Rowan's arms, applying only a light pressure and talking softly. Rowan feels himself relax, his eyelids becoming heavy as he listens to Ed's soft voice in the warm, warm room.
Through lidded eyes, he watches as Ed squeezes his hands gently and then crosses them at the wrists. He positions Rowan's hand's as if they're praying in reverse - each palm facing outwards, the backs of the hands touching each other. When the rope first touches his skin, a shudder runs through his spine, and Ed stills and waits for him to settle before continuing.
Rowan watches with rapt attention as Ed starts slowly wrapping the rope around his wrists and up his arm. It's not painful, but it is tight. It's also intricate. Rowan watches in awe as Ed creates patterns across his skin.
Ed talks as he goes - not much, and not loudly. He just softly explains what he's doing and asking Rowan how it feels. Rowan doesn't respond verbally, finding that all ability to speak has left him. He just nods or shakes his head when Ed asks him a question. It's nice; there's no expectations for him to do anything except sit there. He can't say anything wrong because he doesn't need to say anything at all.
When his forearms are fully bound, Ed leans back to admire his handiwork. Rowan's elbows are free, so he's able to bend his arms so that his reverse-prayer hands are by his face - he touches his fingertips to his chin gently.
"Good?" Ed is smiling at him knowingly. Rowan smiles back, a little dazed. He nods.
Ed helps Rowan move so that he's no longer on his knees, but sitting with his legs out in front of him with his knees bent. Ed pinches Rowan's big toe just to make him jump and both of them giggle.
"I could do your entire legs," He says, pressing his thumbs into the soles of Rowan's feet and massaging small circles. Rowan has to bite back a groan - he may not be into sex, but anyone can appreciate a foot massage. "But, like I said. We're starting small. 'M just gonna do the ankles and shins, alright? And then we'll move onto the wings."
Rowan shivers a little at the mention of his wings, and Ed gives him an encouraging smile
He runs his thumbs one more time down Rowan's feet before letting go and grabbing the next bundle of rope. Rowan is again spellbound as the crimson fabric is twisted around his limbs like a spiderweb, each knot as intricate and as perfectly placed as the last. His eyes droop, heavy, as he feels all control and power slip away from him.
"Still with me, Feathers?" Ed asks, amused. Rowan just hums sleepily back.
Ed takes his time, making sure each knot is perfect, but eventually Rowan's legs are tied together up to the knees. Rowan wiggles experimentally, and goes a little breathless at how the rope digs into his skin. Ed's tongue pokes out, licking his bottom lip.
"I'm saying this as a friend, but also as a slut," he says, tracing a hand over his craftmanship. "You are so very, very hot. In another life, I hope we get to have sex."
Rowan flushes bright red, but is weirdly flattered.
"…thanks?" he says, but his voice sounds very far away.
"Wings, now?" Ed asks, and Rowan has to blink blearily before nodding. Ed strokes a hand through his hair - it feels nice.
"Okey dokey."
Rowan watches with dazed curiosity as Ed picks up a bundle of ribbon instead of rope. He makes a questioning noise.
"Oh. I thought I'd use this on your wings - it's softer, but you'll still feel it. But I know your wings are, like, sensitive and stuff, and I've never done this on feathered wings, so I figured we could use this so it's a bit. Nicer."
Rowan thinks that's ever so thoughtful. Here he is, bound, vulnerable - Ed could do whatever he wanted, but all he wants is to make Rowan comfortable. The thought makes Rowan want to cry.
In fact - his breathing hitches, and his eyes well up. A slightly panicked expression crosses Ed's face.
"Rowan? Are you okay? You wanna stop?"
No.
Rowan shakes his head frantically, despite the tears beginning to fall down his face. He can't stop them. He can't hide them. He can't even wipe them away. Crying, for Rowan, has always had to be a private thing - there was danger in showing emotion in front of others. Here, crying in front of somebody with no possible way of hiding it, was humiliating. It was vulnerability.
It was freeing.
He swallows. and then opens his mouth.
"Good tears," he gasps out, and gives Ed a watery smile. Ed hesitates.
"You sure?"
Rowan nods.
Ed nods back, and then positions himself behind Rowan. He spends a lot of time running his fingers through the feathers, gentle as anything, and Rowan lets out more silent tears at the tenderness of it all. Rowan doesn't know how much time passes as Ed runs his hands through his wings, but eventually he pushes them gently and Rowan gets the message; he folds them towards his back, not as tight as he used to have to but close enough that Ed will be able to bind them.
"You tell me the minute it gets bad, okay?" Ed's voice is soft but he sounds more serious than Rowan has ever heard him. Rowan nods. "I'm gonna be checking in with you constantly anyway. You'll find it annoying but I don't care."
He strokes a hand through Rowan's hair, huffing out a laugh when Rowan leans back into it like a cat.
"I'll do the one closest the mirror, first. So you can watch."
And watch he does. The ribbon matches the shade of the rope almost perfectly, and contrasts vibrantly with Rowan's dark wings. He holds his breath as Ed makes the first loop around the joint, but relaxes when he realises that it doesn't hurt.
(The realisation that, all this time, there was a way to restrain his wings without it hurting is like a thorn in his chest. More tears leak from his eyes and Ed checks a billion times if he's okay before he starts wrapping the ribbon again.)
His gaze goes back to the mirror. Ed weaves the ribbon up and down through his feathers, tying intricate knots as he goes. The end result confines the wing so that Rowan can't stretch it out, but he can still wiggle it. He lets out a shaky exhale.
Ed looks a little nervous, but before he can start doubting himself, Rowan speaks up.
"Beautiful," he says, and his voice is shaky and quiet but sincere. His wing is beautiful. Ed has turned it into a work of art.
Ed sighs in relief.
"Oh thank God," he mutters. "Okay, next one."
Rowan lets his eyes flutter shut as Ed works on the next wing, even dozing slightly as he gets lost in the sensation. His bound arms are a pleasant weight in front of him, he can feel the rope digging into his calves, and Ed's touch is light and gentle as he works the ribbon around his feathers.
There are tear tracks drying on his face and they feel strangely cold in the warmth of the room. It isn't an unpleasant sensation.
Next time, he thinks as Ed ties yet another knot, he'll say yes to the blindfold.