Chapter Text
“-Yeah, he gave me everything. Guess the little bitch learned his lesson.”
One of ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ “friends” stated loudly. Everyone else at their table roared in laughter. ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ stared at the notes he took during his lecture. He was already having trouble focusing on them and multiple people laughing in his ear didn’t help. He wouldn’t even be here if the group’s leader didn’t drag him along.
“ ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ , Why do you look like you have a stick up your ass?” The same one who spoke out said. His smile was completely rubbed off; his face having fallen.
“Maybe because I don’t need to harass someone because I’m too stupid to do the work myself” ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ blurted out angrily. He immediately froze after the leader jumped from his chair.
“Oh, this guy wants to be a hero now? Probably a ninja huh?” A dominant voice rang through his ears. ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️’s palms got sweaty and he started to look down.
“No I just-” he mumbled.
“Fuckin’ nerd. It doesn’t matter how many ‘ninja books’ you read you’re still as capable as a dead worm” The bigger fellow started to walk towards ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️. He braced as he felt himself being grabbed. Phones were being pulled out and laughing that sounded akin to a hyena pack filled the room.
“Guess you need to be reminded.”
—————-
A quiet click accompanied ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️, as he softly closed the door. He rubbed the bruise on his eye, noting it wasn’t fully swollen yet. He was lucky enough to be in a dorm without a roommate. His sister was working hard for him to live comfortably. He wanted to make her proud. He tried, and tried, but his grades could never go above a low C. Soon he stopped looking at his workload, his assignments started to pile, and his grades only got worse.
“…”
His gaze shifted towards a knife that had been dirty for at least a week, an easy way out. His sister wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore. She could finally live the life that he had took from her. He only had to disappoint her one last time.
Ring ring
His phone was ringing, it must’ve been his sister. No one else would’ve called him. He paused his thoughts, and rushed to pick up his phone.
“⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️! Sorry I haven’t called you in a while. I've been busy with work.” Her voice was filled with suppressed exhaustion. ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ looked at the time, realizing that she must have just gotten off her shift
“It's okay, I’m glad you called.” he lied.
“Are you okay? You sound a bit down.” He could hear the concern in her voice, but had no intention to confirm her worries.
“Hmm? Yeah, I’m fine, just… a little tired?” He hoped he was convincing enough; he was never the best at lying.
“Alright… Well how have you been?” He paused for a second before answering. He ran his list of responses through his head, and quickly decided on one.
“I’ve been doing fine, no need to worry.”
“You say some version of that every time I call. You can talk to me, y’know.” she softly laughed, which was followed by an exasperated sigh.
“…Nothing interesting at all?”
“Unless you find essays and notes interesting, then I’ll have to say no.”
“Alrighty, Sorry ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️, I have an early shift in the morning. Just remember, I’m always here for you.” ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ clenched his teeth slightly before responding. He was reminded of his thoughts earlier.
“You don’t have to tell me, I know that already, love you, bye.” He said in quick succession before hanging up the phone prior to his sister’s response.
Being left with his thoughts, ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ realized he couldn’t put his sister through the same grief they felt. If he could go on just one more day, he thought, then it would get better. He had been through this train of thought hundreds of times. Really, at this point he didn’t believe it fully, but it was the only way he could pick his feet up in the morning. Well, that and a diminishing fear of death. He groaned before picking up the knife; this time, thinking about how he should really do his dishes.
As he walked to the overflowing sink, a loud banging thundered through his door.
“⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️, You Bitch! You told them I was cheating off of him. They’re going to kick me out!” ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️’s heart dropped. His breathing quickened, and his ears started to ring. That guy had never sounded so angry in his life.
“I’m going to fucking kill you! Open this door right now you fucking-” The door knob rattled viciously; the metal could be heard screaming in agony.
“What-? I… I didn’t say anything” ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ mumbled quietly as if anything could contain his attacker’s rage. He knew that nothing he said really mattered to anyone in his “friend” group; he was just their punching bag to let off steam.
The rattling had become more desperate as the lock started to weaken. ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ knew that whatever was about to happen was going to be the least of his troubles. His assaulter was one of the most well known people at their college. If everyone found how that ⬜️⬜️⬜️⬜️ had done something to him he would be worse than dead. There was no way in hell tomorrow was going to be a better day; not even his optimism could save him here.
He felt his bruised eye and paused. He couldn’t take it if his life got any worse. The weakened boy looked at the knife in his hand. Everything suddenly felt so clear. He felt himself calming down, almost getting lighter. For once in his life, he was finally going to do something for himself. He closed his eyes and felt the knife pierce his neck.
The pain was almost encouragement. The fact it hurt meant he had not gone far enough. The knife exited an re-entered his throat multiple times. It was only when he fell to his knees in a pool of red, did he truly comprehend what he did.
Images of his sister flashed through his mind. Her loving smile, her heavy grief, her hardworking nature. He realized that he hadn’t thought through his plan enough. Everything his sister had worked toward was in his hands, and he completely threw it away. He knew he had the better part of their situation and he was still acting immature. The lightness he had felt a few moments ago was completely gone. In its place, a heavy dread and panic.
His will to live had become the strongest it had ever been. He wanted to scream for help, beg for his sister to save him, but he was only met with a loud rattling and incomprehensible screaming.
Blood filled his throat and he could feel his head becoming lighter. He wanted to thrash, to protest, to cry, but the weakness had overtaken him.
The last thing he could think of was the image of his family before everything happened; before everything was ruined.