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Sua, often seen as nothing more but a ‘soft and submissive’ girl, who you could easily crush and mold; has finally found someone who saw past all of that, right?
Ever since she met Mizi, her now companion as they lied on the thin green fake garden; she felt as if she’s found her long lost another half.
In Sua’s dark lavender’s eyes, she saw Mizi as an angel, smile as bright as it could be; beautiful long pink hair that matched her bubbly personality—and most importantly, her eyes. Her vibrant chartreuse eyes that she could stare into for hours, even days.
She was willing to die for her. That’s why she brought Mizi into her self-wrought misery. Don’t get her wrong, she spent every night stimulating the feeling of being shot in the neck just so she could smile at the love of her life in the last moments of her life; but she did this because she wanted Mizi to survive. She wanted her to live and continue her life without her, even if she was uncertain if she would survive till the last round.
But Mizi was strong, she knew that in the times when she would carry around till mindlessly, oblivious to his tomato-colored face.
Sometimes Sua would act out of character, letting her possessiveness win over her, only wanting Mizi around her. She liked the feeling of belonging with someone, the feeling of two transforming into one, as if shaped to fit the other. When taken apart, she couldn’t help but feel empty, incomplete.
She despised being without Mizi, following orders from her Guardian and being minimized to a ‘Pretty Doll’. It hurt whenever she felt Mizi looked at her like that too, almost as if hunting her for her most remarkable characteristic: her soft and submissive demeanor.
A small voice interrupted her thoughts, it came from her already mentioned companion that lied next to her.
‘’Sua?’’ The pink-haired girl said, by the look of her face it was clear she was bound to fall asleep. ‘’You were thinking too much and didn’t respond’’ She completed, shifting closer to her and pressing her forehead against the other’s chest.
‘’Sorry for that’’ The younger said, welcoming the other by wrapping her arms around her body.
Days before, the two had a conversation that eventually led them to speak about the earth. They never got to experience how it was living there, however they knew how it was left after the Aliens took over. Mizi finished her part with words that caught Sua’s attention.
‘’But if belief in God is human, if all I can do as a human is to believe...My god, My universe’’
She viewed her as deity, to see another as a deity is to surrender oneself completely.
Sua knew that mindset will destroy her before she did.
Another night, Sua watched the Alien Stage program, staring at the countless deaths that came for it. She pictured herself on stage, singing My clematis with Mizi. They haven’t sketched their dresses for that day yet; but they still had time, so she wasn’t worried about it. What she was worried—or rather upset about, was what would Mizi’s reaction be.
For a moment she regretted to be the one she loved, however a selfish thought came, a realization. No one will ever love her like that again. She was rejecting Mizi’s warm embrace to let death’s cold embrace take over her whole being.
She felt like she deserved to be the one dying just to save Mizi from such cold and chilling embrace; But that would imply leaving her. Either way she deserved it, didn’t she?
She wrote in Mizi in her self-scripted tragedy, she deserved to stop living just so her lover could survive.
The fight before coming to stage had her distressed. She knew Mizi cared for her, but there was no turning back for her plan. It wasn’t possible for them to tie considering the whole point of the stupid program was one to die, that’s what the Alien’s considered entertaining.
The knowledge of her death being near had her stressed out; But when she lifted her gaze, she found the reason she’s doing this. Mizi. Oh, Mizi. The one girl she’ll always love, even if death takes herself away from her.
One day Mizi will figure out why she did this, why she plotted her own death—why Sua never got to actually know her past her ‘Innocent and clueless girl’ façade.
That day, was today.
As Sua met judgment by the hounds, Mizi will be experiencing the hell of Alien Stage.
The lights from the scores displayed above them were making her sweat, but she couldn’t ruin her calm façade. She sang less lines than Mizi on purpose, doing everything she could to score less points than her. And, when the song reached its end, she looked up at their scores. ‘’86/87’’. Mizi won over 1 point. Perfect.
As she felt the bullet destroying the skin of her neck, she made her best and last effort to not flinch, painting an assuring-yet-scared smile.
Her body fell to the ground, violet eyes that once had a light in them, now stared aimlessly without any trace of life behind them. Last thing she registered was the song’s melody going down, then loud cheering that probably came from the Aliens. Her plan succeeded, she wrote her own ending and finally reached it, all for one person.
She recalled fragments of memories, her older sister’s face, from the day she never saw her. Ivan, even if he was always there to annoy her, she still considered him as a friend. Maybe he was right, she was going to be nothing more but trauma to Mizi, but there were no regrets now. Till, even if she barely knew about him, she knew he was close to Ivan, or at least it seemed so.
People, or Aliens, always gave her love all because her Dolly appearance, others were never to blame after all.
You believe like a god,
I’ll betray you like a man.