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The first thing that G’raha noticed was that the Warrior Of Light was missing.
Not gone—never gone, not really. Just… absent, in that quiet, deliberate way that meant it wasn't a coincidence.
Ushio had always had a presence that filled a room without trying. A warmth, a brightness, a barely contained excitement whenever the Crystal Exarch so much as entered his line of sight. He would hover—not awkwardly, never quite that—but attentively, as though every word spoken was something worth treasuring.
Now, there was nothing.
No footsteps trailing just beside him. No eager voice calling out, “My friend!” No soft, reverent look that lingered a heartbeat too long.
G’raha Tia stood in the Crystarium’s main hall, watching people pass, and felt something unfamiliar settle in his chest.
Unease.
“He’s been busy,” Thancred offered when he asked. Too quickly. Too casually.
Busy.
It was a poor excuse. Ushio had always been busy—saving the first being one of those things, tangled in plans, carrying burdens he rarely shared. And yet, he had always made time.Didn’t matter what time of day, what the urgency was he always made time.
Always.
Until now.
—
The first time they actually saw him again, it was by accident.
A quiet corridor. Late enough that most had gone to rest. The miqote turned a corner—and there he was.
The viera froze.
Just for a moment. Just long enough to be unmistakable.
“G’raha..” he said, a beat too late, a smile arriving like something carefully chosen rather than freely given.
Something inside the red head tightened, like he had gotten caught doing something he shouldn’t have.
“Ushio,” he replied. Simple. Neutral. He was holding back his unease not ready to share just yet.
He inclined his head, already stepping back. Ready to take off again “I was just on my way elsewhere. Matters to attend to.”
Of course you are, G’raha almost said. I don’t understand…he wanted to add.
Instead came out: “You’ve been avoiding me.”
It wasn’t an accusation. Not quite.
But it landed like one.
Ushio’s expression completely fell, but forced yet another insincere smile to hide the ache he felt in his heart.
“I would not say avoiding,” he said gently. Too gently. “Merely… occupied…you know we are still trying to find a way for the other Scions to return to the Source.. And of course you…”
G’raha held his gaze, the two staring at each other for a long time. Silence stretched.
G’raha had never been good at silence with him. He would fill it with stories, questions, laughter—anything to keep the space between them alive and warm.
Anything to be in the warrior of light's presence, anything to be by his side.
He needed to know, he needed answers.
“Why?” the miqote asked.
Just one word.
It seemed to weigh more than the centuries of isolation, and all the burdens he carried ten times over.
Ushio’s eyes flickered—downward, away, anywhere but at him. His hands tightened slightly at his sides, fingers curling as though grasping for something unseen.
“It is nothing you need trouble yourself with,” he said.
Wrong answer.That wasn’t going to be enough.
G’raha took a step closer.
“That’s not true.”
A pause.
Then, quieter “It’s about me…it has to be. Why else would you try to avoid me?”
Ushio exhaled a heavy breath, one that he wasn’t aware he was holding.
“You always seem to know everything, don’t you?” he murmured.
“And you always told me the truth.”
That one hurt, and maybe Ushio deserved that one.
Another silence. This one sharper.
Finally, he spoke.
“Do you recall,” he began slowly, “the last time we spoke at length? Before… all of this distance?”
Of course he did, how could he forget being on the brink of turning into a sin eater.
The argument hadn’t been loud. It was calm and yet hurried. It had been worse—measured, restrained, each word placed carefully, like stepping stones across something deep and dangerous.
“The moment you saw my face..,”
G’raha continued. “That..that’s when everything changed.. I remember the look in your eyes.. A shock factor of course, as was everyone else…but then there was something after.”
Ushio could feel his heart pounding hard against his chest.Heat climbed up his neck, sharp and immediate. He became acutely aware of everything—where he stood, how his shoulders were angled, the way his fingers twitched at his sides like he didn’t know what to do now that he’d been caught.
You can only run away from yourself for so long, from your past.
And Ushio had done so for too long.
“G’raha thats—” He started and then stopped. That’s
not true?
How could he argue when he was absolutely right.
That was the problem.
There was no clever angle, no technicality to hide behind. No excuses anymore.
He was exposed, and he couldn’t hide.
“H-how can I…?” The word hung there, thin and unfinished, like it had lost the strength to become anything more.
G’raha took one step forward, gauging his reaction to see if he would move.
He didn’t.
He took another step.
“Ushio. Please…talk to me.” He pleaded. “Let me share your burden..whatever it is.”
That did it.
The vieras shoulders dropped like something had finally given way.
“I don’t even know where to begin..” he said, the words tumbling out now, messy and unfiltered.
“It’s really nothing you did G’raha.. Really…its…” He bit his bottom lip as he remembered. Remembered them. His chest ached.
There was no going back now.
“Thancred is really the only that knows detail for detail..the others know but not to the full extent. At least not as much as I am about to tell you.”
Without a word, G’raha extended his hand to Ushio’s and guided him to the balcony to continue their conversation underneath the vast night sky hoping to ease Ushio’s nerves a bit.
He didn’t interrupt.
Ready to give him his full undivided attention.
“When I first seen your face.. It brought back flashbacks for me.. ones I spent years trying to forget.”
He made a loud gulp.
“Its almost uncanny how much the two of you look alike..” Ushio laughed a little to ease the tension.
“Akio Soleil..”
That was the first time he said his name in many years.How long has it been? A year? Maybe two?
“He was my best friend.. And I loved him. We were fresh new adventurers taking whatever life threw at us..really with no care in the world.”
He took a deep breath before he could continue.
“This was before I ever knew my existence as the warrior of light..before my title really took off.”
He continued, though reluctantly.
The brightness in his eyes dims; they lose their sparkle and grow distant. The corners of his mouth slowly turn downward, tightening into a frown.
“We thought we could handle something that was clearly way out of our league..for the sprouts that we were. I was on the verge of taking a hit and Aki moved in front of me.. And well…I’m sure you can imagine the rest.”
The viera bowed his head somberly, hands tightening into a closed fist.
“I wasn’t fast enough.. I wasn’t strong enough..”
G’raha stepped closer—slow, careful, like approaching something fragile.
“It was my fault..!” Ushio slammed his fists on the railing. “It was my fault that he!---”
“It wasn’t your fault Ushio..” G’raha said, finally breaking silence.
“Who else is there to blame..!? It was my idea in the first place..! If it weren’t for me maybe he would have lived!”
The words came faster now. Not sharp—but firm, anchored in something he had been holding back far too long.
“Why couldn’t it have been..---”
G’raha didn’t want to hear him finish that sentence, not after everything. He couldn’t bear to hear him speak about himself like that.
“Look at me.” He said sternly, making Ushio stop in his tracks.
“It wasn’t your fault.” the miqote said again.
“You wouldn’t..you wouldn’t know..you don’t…”
“Understand?” he said. “I’m afraid that is where you are wrong, my friend..”
That made the Viera look up, startled.
But I do know this,” he continued, softer now. “You’re carrying all of it like it’s yours alone. And it’s not.”
Ushio’s expression crumpled slightly at that—like the idea of not carrying it alone hadn’t even been an option he had considered. He only ever knew how to press on and worry about what was next. Never had the time to grieve..nor did he want to.
“Seeing your face.. It brought back such painful memories.. I didn’t know how to deal with them.. Maybe it’s because I never dealt with them in the first place.” He finally admitted.
A tear slipped free before they could stop it. He wiped at it quickly, frustrated, but more followed—quiet, stubborn, impossible to hold back now that he’d started.
“I hate this,” he said, voice small. “I hate feeling like this.”
“I know, Ushio. But it’s okay to feel..you’re allowed to feel.”
“I’m supposed to be better than this.”
G’raha shook his head immediately. “No. You’re not ‘supposed’ to be anything except Ushio. Nobody expects you to be strong all the time.. You are not without your limitations.”
How could he not feel that way when people depend on him so?
His breathing turned uneven, shoulders trembling now as everything he’d been holding back finally pushed its way out. Not loud, not dramatic—just raw.
G’raha closed the remaining distance and, after the smallest pause—just enough to make sure—he didn’t pull away, he reached out and pulled them into a steady, grounding hold.
Not tight.
Just there.
He stiffened for half a second.
Then melted.
“Forgive me G’raha.. For causing you any unnecessary pain, if I have.”
“My discomfort is nothing compared to what you endure day in and day out.”
His hands clutched at the fabric of his shirt like it was the only stable thing left, his forehead pressing against his shoulder as the quiet, contained breaking turned into something deeper.
“I’ve got you,” he murmured, one hand steady against his back.
“You don’t have to hold it together right now.”
A shaky breath.
Another.
“I’m right here.”
Ushio didn’t respond—couldn’t, not really—but he didn’t pull away either.
And that was enough.
Because
sometimes comfort isn’t about fixing what’s broken.
Sometimes it’s just about making sure someone doesn’t have to fall apart alone.