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“You… you alright, Flux?” Saps asked. He seemed lost these last few days. The waves crashed before them as the sun set on Island 2.
They leaned against a stone wall, the barrier between where the sand turned to grass on the Luminara Coast.
He sighed. He knew this question would come up. It was odd, being randomly invited to the beach by your best friend.
He knew something was wrong, too. He had been questioning something for a while.
“Y-yeah. Everything's fine.” He replied after some hesitation. That wasn't true.
“I know that's not true.”
He turned to face Saps, his best friend's head turned on an angle, eyes concerned. His cape (well, cape was one way to put it. It was really just a piece of fabric held together by a gold broach.) blew in the wind.
He couldn't know. No one could know. He couldn't face it. Elanuelo had already found out. The yelling, the lecturing, the hitting—it all came back to him. The bruises hurt for weeks after that, his arms tattered in purple. His family stopped talking to him for a while. The piercing, deafening silence—he couldn't take it.
The only words muttered to him that night;
“You're disgusting, Fluixon.”
He couldn't imagine his best friend leaving him too.
“I'm sure.”
Although.
He’d known Saparata Theria for years. Since primary school, in fact. He'd been there to comfort Flux through his parents divorce, when Elanuelo and Turkey had one, final fight. When it was particularly tough.
He’d accept him, right?
The only other person who knew was sister, Cynikka.
She had left home the moment she got the chance. Flux remembered her 18th birthday, she left home and stayed at Cass’s house. For good. She’d been there ever since.
He remembers a yelling fit happening earlier that day. Elanuelo had mocked her for her relationship towards Cass, saying it was ‘sinful’ and ‘dishonour to the family'. She hadn't told him anything about her liking women.
Although, one time, a Flux overheard a conversation between Cynikka and Cass. They said something about meeting up, and ended it with “I love you, bye!”. He knew from then that she was someone he could talk to, someone he could finally get something off his chest to.
“You know you can trust me, right? I won't be upset, or— or angry, or… whatever! You can talk to me.”
He couldn't. He just couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to talk to his best friend about that of all things.
He didn't want him to leave him.
Not even Thomas knew.
Not even Thomas…
He’d known for a while now. The way Saps’ golden eyes had stuck out to him, the way he got butterflies every time they locked eyes…
He'd known for a while.
He wasn't normal.
None of this was normal.
He knew Saps would agree.
“I know, and it's just—its…” he took a deep breath in. “I can't say.” He turned away to look at the sunset above the cerulean waves.
“Flux…” Saps started.
“It's not that I don't trust you. You're an amazing friend, don't get me wrong, but… it's different.”
“What do you mean ‘different’?”
“It's like… I just…” He trailed off, hearing his voice start to shake. He could feel himself begin to tear up, face becoming redder as he turned to face away from Saps.
Noticing this, Saps immediately swung his arms around him in a warm embrace. He felt oddly comforted being this close to Flux.
“Hey—it's alright. It'll be alright. You shouldn't have to deal with this alone. It's clearly upsetting you. We can fix this.”
“No, you don't get it. I can't ‘fix this’. There's nothing I can do to change this about me. And—I don't want it to change how you see me.”
“...Ah.”
Flux’s head hung low. “I can't… I can barely come to terms with it myself.”
“Flux—”
“You don't need to worry about me. It'll be fine, I'm sure.”
“Flux, wait—”
“I don't want you to think I'm a—I'm some freak of nature or something.”
“Stop, let me—”
“I don't want you to lose trust in me. It's not normal, I know—”
“FOR ISH’S SAKE, LET ME TALK FLUIXON!”
Flux stood there for a moment, in pure shock, turning to face Saps. Saps had never called him by his full name before. Even Saps himself looked surprised, mouth laid open slightly, eyes wide for the both of them.
“Go on. Talk then.”
Saps’ eyebrows furrowed a little.
“Look. you’re my best friend, alright? Literally nothing you say could make me leave you. I don't care if you're a—a vampire, or a 63 year old man, it doesn't matter. It won't change how I see you.”
“No, you don't get it—” they were yelling now.
“No, you don't get it! We've known each other what; more than 10 years? NOTHING that you say could change our friendship. Nothing!”
“I’M GAY, SAPS. YOU DON'T GET—” He covered his mouth with his hands, eyes wide, heart beating out his chest, realising what he’d said.
A beat.
Saps’ mouth laid open. His eyes were wide, realising what this was all about, soon turning soft and compassionate.
“Flux…” he muttered, his voice mellow. He wrapped his hands around his shoulders, offering comfort in a close embrace, tucking his head in his neck. Flux’s heart beat faster. They were closer than ever right now. That soft tone… It didn't help him bury his feelings.
“Is that what you wanted to tell me?”
“You're disgusting, Fluixon.”
Disgusting.
“I'm disgusting.”
“Don't say that. You can't control it. It's completely normal.”
“I'm not fucking normal, Saps. None of this is. I'm a dishonor to the Aculon name.”
Saps could feel his shoulders begin to shake, Flux’s face wet with tears. After a moment, he melted into the hug, clinging onto Saps’ ‘cape’. Saps’ white hair brushed against Flux’s neck, making his thoughts race.
This wasn't normal. These feelings weren't natural. You're a disgrace to the Aculon name.
"You're disgusting, Fluixon."
You shouldn't be doing this.
Back away.
Back away.
Back away.
“...Flux?”
“Flux!”
“Who told you those things?”
“My father. He’s right.”
“For Ish's sake—When has it EVER been a good idea to listen to Elanuelo? When has he EVER been right?”
He looked down, grip loosening.
“...I don't know.”
His voice shook as he admitted that. It felt like all he knew was taken away from him in one small moment.
“You… you really think so?” He mumbled under his tears.
Saps looked up at him, letting go of the hug, moving his hand to wipe Flux’s tears.
At that movement, Flux froze. His face was already red from crying, but somehow he felt it get warmer. He didn't expect Saps to do that.
Wow. He really couldn't escape his feelings, could he?
He moved his hand to rest on the side of Flux’s cheek, slowly rubbing it with his thumb.
He couldn't be doing this. Not with him. But—his heart ached. He knew this was what he longed for, this intimacy.
“Just know you're not in this alone.” Saps muttered. He raised his hand to the other side of Flux’s face.
You shouldn't be doing this.
“You're disgusting Fluixon.”
Those voices got… quieter.
Saps pulled him in closer. Flux could feel his breath on his skin. It gave him butterflies, feeling every inhale and exhale. He closed his eyes.
Until, finally.
Their lips touched.
A beat.
After so long, they finally, finally met.
They were soft, just as he’d imagined. A wave of relief washed over him. He'd waited too long for this.
Almost too soon, they pulled apart.
He opened his eyes, amethyst greeted by gold.
Saps looked overjoyed, face flushed, as if he’d been wanting that for a while.
“You're disgusting, Fluixon.”
“Don't say that.”
“Just know you're not in this alone.”
And suddenly, those voices gave him reassurance.
Instead of carving a hole into him, they bandaged it up.
“I've always loved you, Flux. And I always will. Nothing about you could ever change that.” He muttered, thumb caressing his cheek, before pulling him in again.
Only this time, it lasted longer.
Only this time, Flux completely melted into it.
It was thanks to Saparata that Fluixon was able to find peace in his truth.
And it was thanks to Saparata that Fluixon was able to find someone who loved him unconditionally for once in his life.