Chapter Text
It has been quite some time since he last went outside for a walk. It was snowing, the small flakes cascading from the sky and covering the sidewalk he's walking on. Avery didn't like the way it landed on his face, making him shiver from the coolness of it, but he knew he had to come out to buy some groceries.
Avery held his phone out, checking the time that read 13:25 before he pocketed it again. It was unusually cold for the early afternoon, but alas, it was winter so it would be cold nonetheless.
He's been in and out of places, his studies doing a lot better after he decided to actually focus and make himself better. He had to, because he felt like he owed that not just to himself but to a certain someone as well.
That someone was Derek. It's been a year since he happened in Avery's life, and it's also been a year since he disappeared from it. To say that it was bittersweet would be an understatement, after all, Derek is the reason he learned new things.
The reason why he even searched up what codes and ciphers were, why he even tried hard to study them.
Derek was also the reason Avery felt the need to fill his head with knowledge he would usually ignore.
It was funny how the old Avery whose focus was on trolling and dominating the Skywars in Minecraft, was now someone who excelled in class as the top student in his course.
It took a year, and a stranger's words for him to try hard enough.
And it worked well, except for the fact that he still pushes himself too hard even though he no longer has to.
Avery sighs, his breath foggy as he rubbed his hands together. He needed some milk and eggs, and some other stuff that he'll just try to remember later.
After he gets his groceries, he needs to get ready for his part-time job, and after that he has more projects to start, some artwork he needs to submit.
It's making his head ache, after all, he was also sleep depraved.
Last night was spent on his computer, not on schoolwork, not on work-related stuff, no. He was watching Derek's footage that he uploaded to cloud, his playthrough. Avery spent the night watching and reading his letter, again and again.
Avery does that, every once in a while, despite the fact that he had every move and every part of the footage memorized like the back of his hand.
Avery stepped into the store after he heard that familiar ding. Eggs, milk, and other stuff—ah, right—he needed some paint for the artwork he's making.
At first glance, he's not the typical person you'd see if you thought of an artist, but Avery does have great skills in painting.
One of his recent works was—well—a knight clad in rustic yellow armour and that red cape.
Derek.
He introduced Derek, the knight in the painting, to anyone that paid attention to the art. Avery still remembered what Derek said, something about being forgotten, that's why he painted him, spoke his story like a mantra he'd repeat over and over again.
It's a famous work, but Avery never sold it. All he asked was for that painting to stay in the art room for everyone to see.
Avery grabbed a basket, he didn't need the pushcart for just eggs and milk, hell, he didn't need to grab a basket. “You just got your paycheck, don't spend so much.” Avery says, talking to himself as he starts to walk towards the fresh produce aisle.
He looked at the eggs, his mind drifting towards his dinner tonight. He could scramble the eggs and put in milk, which makes it creamy and fluffy. “Oh, I should get cheese.” He hums, thinking about dinner opens up his mind to new recipes he hasn't tried. He picked up a tray of eggs, his wallet already groaning from the toll. Eggs are expensive.
Avery lives alone—away from his family for his college life—which means that he was all he could lean on.
“Can I even make dinner?” He ponders, if he eats, he might be late to work, and that wasn't ideal for someone like him. “..I'll make this for breakfast instead.” He thinks, his steps light as he heads towards the dairy section for the cheese and milk.
Avery's a helpful and mindful young man. That shows in his actions as he helped an elderly lady grab the heavy sack of dog food, helping her load it in her pushcart. He even helped her push the cart towards the cashier, taking a small detour from his own errands.
“Oh, and yellow acrylic paint.” He muttered, the milk and cheese secured in his basket alongside the tray of eggs. He made a quick trek towards the art supplies, which were in the far back near the school supplies.
He grabbed the yellow tube of paint, his gaze drifting towards a set of brush. ”I shouldn't, I can't, I'm saving money.” He thinks quietly to himself, he can't afford a new set of brush right now, it's a little tight with bills and other expenses.
Avery stood in line to check out when a voice called out to him; “Yo, Avery?”
It was Keith, a friend from school, they're not that close, but at least Keith is tolerable than the rest of the annoying people in his class. “Hey, Keith.” Avery nods, a short and curt greeting as he moves up in line.
“Wanna hang this weekend? We're having a party!” Keith says, walking closer since there wasn't anyone else in line behind Avery.
“No, thank you, I’m busy this weekend.” Avery carefully set the tray of eggs in front of the cashier, waiting for it to get scanned before he set the milk and cheese down. He took out his wallet and pulled out a hundred dollar bill and paid for it.
He held out his hand for the change and the receipt, which he shoved in his wallet before he put it in his pocket.
“Busy with what?” Keith asked, tilting his head as he followed behind Avery. He didn't buy anything, he was just strolling in the store to find something worth it to actually buy, but he already ditched the idea to talk to Avery.
“I'm going home for the weekend.” Avery says, pulling out his phone to check the time. 14:05. He got his grocery within forty minutes, that was alright.
“Oh, alright then. Take care, yeah? Let me know when you come back, would love to hang out with you, man!” Keith says, that charismatic smile plastered on his face as he pats Avery's shoulder before he walks away.
Avery sighed, tolerable. At least he wasn't being forced to go, which is fine. Avery just hates the thought of parties, loud music, people dancing and making out anywhere, and he can't stomach it when he knows someone in a relationship is hitting on another person. That's how it usually goes in their parties, and you'll never associate Avery with them.
It was a quick walk back to his apartment, just a single bedroom with a bathroom and a small kitchen, it was enough, and he makes enough to spend on it. His parents still send money, which he accepts reluctantly. His pay from work and the tips he gets, as well as the allowance his parents give were enough to get by each month.
Avery opened the door with his key and slid inside, locking the door and removing his shoes there. He rubbed the back of his neck, the exhaustion seeping in. He should've slept, but he didn't, and now he's like this.
Avery set the grocery carefully on the kitchen counter before he shed his coat and unwrapped his scarf. It's finally warmer. “My shift starts at 16:00.” He thinks as he unpacks the groceries and puts them in the fridge, it wasn't that empty. It was decent with a healthy balance of vegetables, fruits, processed food and energy drinks. “It wouldn't hurt to nap for a bit.” He hummed to himself, stretching as he walked towards the bed.
He held onto the paint, which he put on the table alongside his other art supplies. He doesn't get visitors, never allowed any, because he has his stuff all over the place. Not the messy kind, he still organized. The table for his arts, his kitchen for food, his other work table for his set up where he plays his game, Minecraft and then his guitar set in the corner. It's messy, in an organized way that only he would understand.
“Just thirty minutes. Then I'll get ready.” He says to no one in particular. He just likes to say the words instead of letting them fester in his mind. Loneliness can get to you quickly if you don't speak every now and then.
Naps are dangerous, but at least Avery knew that.
His phone rang, his clock app doing its intended purpose of ringing on time. Avery got up, still groggy from sleep as he walked to the bathroom and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and started brushing. It took him a full minute before his system properly rebooted and he felt awake.
He took a shower and dressed up. He's not a guy who minds what he wears but he still has some sense of fashion. Though that's something he won't show at work since he wears a uniform.
Avery worked as a barista in a cafe near campus. Even if you believe it or not, Avery's quite the looker, in fact, many regulars of the cafe only come when he's working, which means a lot of work for Avery, but at least he gets some tip because of that.
At least it was quieter after dealing with a lot of people. He was already exhausted by 20:00, but his shift was almost ending. He just had to wait for the other barista, Erik.
Someone who's always at least thirty minutes late. Avery didn't mind, since Erik gave him some bucks for however long he's gone, which in that case, was at least ten dollars.
The walk home was quiet, and Avery liked it. Sure, it was only 20:45, which was unusual since it was close to the city. Maybe people just needed to rest, and maybe that's why the world was quieter that night.
Avery locked the door behind him and he shrugged his coat off. He hung it on the rack and he rushed to the bathroom while removing his shirt and tossing it to the laundry basket. He needed another shower before sleep, or else he'll reek of coffee and he won't be able to sleep.
The water was cold as it cascading down his body, his mind relishing in the sensation of coolness against his skin. It's making him forget about this hectic day and the many more to follow.
Cold showers at night are something that cleanses you of the things that happened throughout your day. Not only does it wash off the grime but it also cools you off enough to rewind.
Avery lay on his bed, his gaze focused on the ceiling as he counted the money he earned today. Fifty-eight dollars in tips, ten dollars from Erik and his ten dollar pay per hour in the cafe. A total of a hundred and eight dollars, which wasn't bad, considering how many people came by.
Now, then. Tomorrow was a different story.
It's the weekend, and he's going home tomorrow for the first time in a year. He hasn't talked to them properly, and they never really bothered to call. All they did was send the money and that was it, which greatly severed the connection they used to have.
But that was a problem for tomorrow, he didn't need to think more about it. Avery shut his eyes, his mind quiet before the image of his painting bothered him.
Derek, again.
He was just thinking about him last night, does it really have to be every night.
Derek? Give me some rest, man.
Avery chuckled at the thought, but even now, a year later, he still cries for a person he barely knew, for someone whose name was the only thing he was told.
Avery buried his face against his pillow, his tears soaking the fabric and the cotton as he wept alone. Grief is in the little things you carry. It's like glitter blown into a room, you can clean it up one time but you'll see it again, one at a time, a reminder.
Avery cried himself to sleep. At least he didn't stay up to watch the videos and read the letter again.
It was an early train ride home. I'll spare you the details of his morning routine but he did make his eggs! The eggs he scrambled with milk and mixed with shredded cheese. It was magnificent, fluffy, creamy and cheesy, the perfect eggs to eat alongside some white bread.
He sat in his seat, his gaze drifting away. He was just watching the scenery as they passed, it was calming at least.
He had his headphones on, his music a quiet hum in the background as he let himself rest.
He fell asleep for a while, the train a stable ride to a place he once called home.
It was a quiet three-hour ride home, he slept through the entirety of it. There's something about a train ride without anyone sitting with you. People tend to hit up conversations even when they're sitting next to a stranger, which Avery gladly avoided by putting on headphones and sleeping through the ride.
It was a train worker who woke him up when they finally reached their destination. It was in a far corner of the state, somewhere secluded and quieter than the city life he's used to.
He got off the train in a bit of a daze, having only woken up, and still a little disoriented by the sleep he just had.
He walked off, the station wasn't as full as the one in the city, which was nice. He walked towards a vending machine and stared at the drink options. “Unhealthy." He thinks, yet he feeds it some dollars and chooses Sprite anyway.
Avery pops the tab and drinks it, feeling the carbonated liquid wake up his system. “Gosh, I should've gotten water.” Avery groans, the bubbles are still there and he swears he can hear them pop in his stomach.
He shifted his attention towards the exit doors, and he walked towards them. He should go home now. Unfortunately, he didn't call his father so no one would pick him up, so instead, he waved down a cab and got in.
Avery sat inside, the cab staring at him from the rearview mirror. He said his destination and sat back, feeling the hum of the engine as they drove away.
“Why are you here?” A woman's voice echoed in his ear. He was standing at the door, and that was the first thing he heard. “Did you get kicked out of your apartment, is that why you came crawling back here?” Avery's mother didn't look pleased to see her son on her porch. “I just sent you some money, didn't I?” Avery nearly forgot why he decided to go to college that far away from home.
Ah, this wasn't home. There's no mother who would welcome their child in that manner.
Avery simply smiled and shook his head. “No, I just decided to come visit.” He says, still standing there in the sun without any invitation spilling from his mother's lips.
“That's a waste of money.” She clicked her tongue, irritated as she was that she had another thing to deal with. “Next time, don't bother, just finish your studies.” She says that, not because she's worried about his studies, no. She said that merely to put out a reason for him not to come home anymore.
“Argh.” She groaned, running a hand through her hair as she went inside, reluctantly leaving the door open.
Avery swallowed the thorn in his throat as he hesitantly walked up the porch and towards the door. Welcome home, Avery.
He closed the door behind him, his mind trying to cope with what just happened. He's well aware that his mother would act that way, but maybe there's still a part of Avery that wished it wasn't like that.
He chuckled to himself, already hearing the ruckus in the living room as his mother talked to his father and his siblings.
“I won't stay for long.” Avery says, walking towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “..I just dropped by. I'm going somewhere else.” He gulped the water and set the glass back down in the sink, ignoring whatever words they were saying as he walked back out of that door.
He wasn't just here to visit his family.
He was here to visit someone else.
Derek.
Avery didn't know the guy, but he went to the same school he did back then, that's why he got the laptop from the locker, yes.
To think that they lived in the same town, just a few houses down the block, it made Avery feel a sense of sadness that he couldn't quite place.
A sadness for the missed opportunity and for the time wasted in that place.
If only they met earlier, would things have changed? Would they have had the time to know each other? Would they have time to act on the emotions he's left to deal with? This sense of longing like Derek meant everything despite not knowing him fully, everything.
If they became friends earlier, would he have the time to learn about Derek's favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite music—and would he have the time to play his guitar with him?
There's so many ifs that it hurts to think properly.
Derek Hutchins.
It's written so beautifully on the headstone of his grave.
Anyone can tell that he was loved dearly. His grave was well kept, fresh flowers and candles lit. It's been a year yet it feels like yesterday with how fresh this place feels.
Avery sat down, his backpack slid off of his back as he reached for it and grabbed the laptop he got, the one Derek used before. “Hey, D3rlord.” Avery's tone was cheeky, the same tone he had when they were talking to each other, well, in Minecraft at least. Would Derek say his voice sounds irritating had he heard him before?
Avery didn't want to think too deep into that.
He sat there, opened the laptop and played the video of Derek's playthrough. He watched it, gave his honest review on his actions and plans.
“You did great, like those ciphers? Very hard! I tried to solve a few and guess what, I kept repeating it because I couldn't get it right!” Avery chuckled, his presence in that graveyard a fresh one, no one usually comes to graveyards with such a cheery attitude.
“Gosh, you're so intelligent, you're a genius, aren't ya? Such a smartass.” Avery continued, his tone never changing despite the fact that the tears were flowing again.
He continued rambling like that, even as he cried his heart out to Derek, someone he barely knew, yet felt so deeply connected to.
“At this point, you're the only reason I step back in this town.” Avery wipes harshly at his eyes, the tear-stained cheeks weren't going away soon, that he knew. “I heard you survived off of Soylent.” Avery says, rummaging through his bag again to pull out a different object.
A soda can.
“So I thought, huh, maybe I shouldn't bring Soylent because he might ghost me.” Avery says, “Trust me, I'd rather have you ghost me, linger and haunt me. I want to spend time with you, you know.” Avery chuckled. “But I figured you'd want a taste of soda."
Avery pulled the tab, the soda can opening with a pop. He poured it over the grass near the gravestone, hoping that way, Derek could enjoy it somehow.
“..I'll be back again, it'll be just you that I'll come home to.” Avery says, staring at the engraved name. “Derek Hutchins. I hope to meet you again, properly next time.”
Avery stood up, the laptop in his arm now shoved back into the bag and threw it on his shoulder. “Then, until next time, yeah?” Avery grinned, a smile so pure that only Derek was able to witness. Not even his friend Keith nor his fellow barista Erik knew that Avery could smile like that.
He turned, he didn't look back because if he did, he might cry again. The next train ride would be soon, so he had to go.
He walked, towards the town's cab station and got in one, he still had to hurry home, to his apartment, where he felt utterly alone.
It was another three hours of train ride, another moment of rest amidst the chaos in his heart.
He didn't even think about his parents, his family. No, why would he? He's come to terms with it, even if it kills his inner child's hopes of being loved again.
Avery got off, it was almost midnight when he arrived back in the city. He had a workshop tomorrow, in the art studio. He needed to rest.
Which he did. He went back to his apartment, he didn't feel like taking a cold shower. He wanted to just sleep and get some rest before another hectic tomorrow.
He slept well, too well, in fact. Avery didn't even wake up when he rolled off the bed and fell on the floor. He was just in shock when he woke up to his side all sore.
It made the rest of his morning go sour. Avery tried making coffee, it spilled before he could get a damn sip. He tried to make the same breakfast as yesterday's but he burnt the eggs. Even his shower went all wrong when he accidentally turned up the warm settings.
Gosh.
What a way to start his morning.
Avery had a piece of burnt toast in his mouth as he rushed out of his apartment building, nearly tripping on a rushing neighbor's dog as he walked down the hallway.
He cursed inwardly, the bus passing by nearly missing him by a beat. He managed to catch it though. He sat down after paying for the fair, panting. He could barely swallow the bread because of how exhausting his morning was.
He just hoped the rest of the day would go his way.
Wrong.
Avery arrived late at the workshop, reprimanded once again by the instructor. He apologized and sat down in his seat where his unfinished work sat.
It was a golden gate.
Unfinished because he didn't have his yellow acrylic.
Yellow Acrylic?
“Fuck!” Avery immediately covered his mouth and apologized once more.
“Keep it down, Avery.” The instructor sighed, they knew what it felt like to not have the materials you needed, unfortunately, they aren't allowed to share materials because they all had different mediums in use.
Avery nodded, and went back to staring at his things.
He forgot his paint, the paint he left on the table in his apartment. Fuck! Could this day get any worse?
Avery still managed to finish his work, opting instead to the use of a brownish hue of paint, but with color theory, he accomplished an art that made the gates look yellow despite using none.
He's so glad that the whole whimsy was done, and he felt really drained after the whole lot. Considering the fact that his morning was already tragic enough, and his painting was mildly irritating but it was done, it's alright.
He left the painting in the studio, he still had sessions for next week, which would be pottery, gosh, not pottery. He dreaded the way he had to carefully mold a clay to fit the shape of something he wanted. He didn't like pottery at all, but he needed to cover his grounds and learn, and that's what he'll do.
For now, the rest of his day was something he could control.
It was around 12:00, he had time to nap before his work at 16:00. And a nap is three hours max, and that's exactly what he did.
Avery got back to his apartment, his stuff left by the door which he thankfully locked before he faceplanted against the couch. He's not picking the bed today, the couch looked fun and indeed it is as he fell asleep as soon as he hit that soft cushioned sofa.
It was a lazy afternoon with a couple of dates happening here and there. Avery was fixing up a latte, prepping the espresso on the side as he steamed the milk. He's pretty good at latte art, often making swans and hearts, and sometimes tulips. He does whatever he wants, and that's why people come back just to see a young barista enjoy what he's doing.
“A latte for Parker!” He called out, serving the cup of latte with a saucer to help them hold it better and avoid spillage. He smiled, professionally as he went back to his station to make a caramel macchiato for to-go.
He drizzled the side of the cup with caramel syrup and proceeded to pour two shots of espresso, a cup of milk and a few pumps of vanilla. He made sure to add more caramel drizzle on top.
“A caramel macchiato for Grant!” He calls out. He waited for a claim and served the drink with a smile. “Enjoy, have a great day.” He says before he's back behind the station.
“You're early today,” Avery says, staring at Erik who's standing at the cashier.
“Figured a Sunday would mean a lot of people, so I came early to help my favorite boy.” Erik teased, but Avery knew the kinds of jokes he makes nowadays, even with such nicknames.
“Oh, please. You just didn't want to give me your ten bucks.” Avery shrugged.
“Whatever, we're here until closing though.” Erik's words shook Avery. This is why he hated Sundays as well, they're hectic and they stay up until 00:00.
“..I'll leave you around 22:00.” Erik looks at Avery with a feigned shocked look. “You can't!” He says, feigning a begging tone.
“I don't even wanna talk to you.” Avery says, instead turning to brew a coffee for himself.
In the end, Avery had to stay until midnight to help clean and close the cafe.
“See you tomorrow, don't be late.” Avery says, shaking his head as he sees Erik stumble. The stupid guy was looking at him, waving while walking. It's a surprise he didn't actually trip.
Avery walked the opposite way towards his apartment. The streets were quiet, the city wasn't as noisy as it used to, I wonder why.
There have been reports of robbery, maybe that's why, but it's rarely happening in their area so it's still a wonder.
Avery walked on the sidewalk, some lights were on, some weren't and some were flickering. He didn't like that. It wasn't usually like this at midnight.
He could hear a motorcycle’s engine roar, driving by, he didn't pay it mind until it stopped near him and two men surrounded him.
“Give me your money!” The masked guy shouted, holding a knife while the other held a gun and had it pointed at Avery.
Avery stood there, stunned for a second too long before he reached for his bag. He did it slow while thinking, thinking of a way he could try and escape, maybe run—
Avery reached inside, his grip on the laptop. Fuck. He grasped it well and stepped a little closer towards the one with the gun and pulled out as quick as he could and hit the masked guy with the gun on the head.
He's thinking well, because had he targeted the one with the knife, he would just be shot.
Unfortunately for Avery, it didn't matter if he landed a clean hit, not when the knife was already plunged deep in his abdomen. Maybe he should've invested in some gun instead of using a worn out laptop as a self defense object.
Is this really how I go out? Pathetic.
That's all he could think of as the two robbers scurried away, taking his bag and even his phone before they drove away.
Avery wasn't feeling it yet, he was still standing, stepping back and hitting the wall behind him before he slid against it until he sat on the ground. He grasped at his side, putting pressure on the wound as he felt the hilt of the knife. He shouldn't pull it out, it'll bleed faster if he pulls—gosh—Avery tried to think, really, he did.
But on that quiet night without a way to call for emergency services, he thought of how stupid he was for not being prepared for such moments.
He knew it's winter, but it felt colder than it was when he walked out of the cafe with Erik. Was it because he's losing a lot of blood? He wanted to check but he couldn't see properly, not with the way his vision blurred and his life dwindled.
Fuck.
Avery bit his lip, his frustration rising even as he felt tired and sleepy. “Really? I just promised Derek that I'd go back.” He says, fighting against the way his eyelids felt heavy. “I was going to play Minecraft with him.” Avery adds, his breath coming out shorter.
On a Sunday in the Winter season, on that quiet night, on the sidewalk of a city. Avery was stabbed.