Chapter Text
I found this old journal while cleaning out my closet for my boyfriend to move in and decided to start writing in it again. My last entry in here had to be like junior year of highschool. Probably something about gender envy or something. It feels too cringy to look back at.
Anyways, a LOT has happened since then. The most eventful thing that’s happened to me though, was the fake show I gullibly hosted for 8 months. I had a cohost named Four (who is now my partner/boyfriend), and he like HATED me.
Eventually, we got along and I instantly fell in love. Cute!!! He ended up liking me back and we started secretly dating behind the scenes because if we were open about it then we’d get fired.
Turns out, none of that even mattered anyways because the whole show was fake and illegal. So we escaped and reported everything to the police with the help of me and Four’s friends.
It was a crazy experience. But also kinda fun. Never would’ve expected myself to be in such a situation. After we went to the police station, we realized that we left all of our stuff in the island so we had to go back with the police. That’s where they arrested Announcer.
They also found the shot we used to get to and from the island and realized Profiley stole the boat. They had insisted many times that the owner of it died suddenly and lent it to them and no one believed them. Four was didn’t like them anyways so he was glad they were gone. X had to bail them out and I helped him obviously.
So now, our main focus is moving Four into my apartment. We’re almost done. Just a few more stuff left to transfer over. There’s only one problem though…
See, I’ve been letting Four sleep over my house so that he could get used to it. But he’s acting like he’s just a guest and that this isn’t his home. He doesn’t eat, uses only a little bit of the toothpaste and soap, and sometimes insists on sleeping on the couch. I’m trying to make him feel at home but nothing I do really helps.
I was atleast able to get him to take a nap with me. Right now we’re on the bed and he’s sleeping on my arm. He’s not one to take naps either so it was a nice surprise. It’s also only 1pm!
Moving is very tiring.
That’s really all I have to write right now. Hopefully I can get him more comfortable. Maybe I can ask Lucas or Animatic how she got him to adjust in her apartment when he moved in with her. Wait that’s genius!
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“What is that?” A scratchy and groggily voice came from next to Two. They jumped slightly from how unexpected it was and looked to him. He was pointing at their open journal. “Your stupid gay diary or something?”
Two rolled their eyes and smiled. “Yes. It’s my stupid gay diary.” They closed it with the pencil they were using inside the page they last used and put it on the night table.
They lowered themselves into the bed so that they were laying down and spooned Four tightly. They laid there silently for a while. Two was starting to think that Four fell back asleep until he said something again. “I didn’t know you liked to write.”
He looked down at the sweater they were wearing. He turned to lay in his back but still slanted to lean against Two’s chest and played with the lint on their sleeve. “I used to write in it a lot in high school. Decided to pick it back up. Maybe document my life and stuff.”
They moved Four’s hair from his face gently while they spoke. He didn’t react to it. “What time is it?” He asked, lifting his head to meet Two’s eyes.
They hummed and sat up to grab their phone. Four stayed laying down but frowned at the lost of contact. “1:15” they answered before putting their phone back on the nightstand.
Four groaned and tossed himself around in the bed in protest before sitting up as well. “Yeah okay fine.” He jumped off the bed and dug through one of his boxes for some blue jeans and a gray hoodie.
“Where are you going?” Two asked with a raised brow, confused by his mismatched fashion choice.
“I gotta finish packing.” He slipped some crocs on. Two followed after him, changing into a nicer pair of clothes; a pink blouse with flared jeans and boots. “I’m pretty sure some of my stuff are still at Lucas’ house. I gotta pick those up.”
“How are your stuff still at Lucas’ house? I thought that was like years ago.” Two asked, leaving the bathroom from where they changed in.
“I only moved out her house a few months before the show. I was still moving into my own apartment and now I’m moving into yours.” He sat down on the bed and Two sat next to him.
“Oh…” Two saddened realizing how much he’s had to move. First from his house to Lucas’, then Lucas to his own, then the hotel, and now Two’s. He’s moving around way too much. “Sorry…”
“For what?” Four was about to stand up from the bed before they said that.
“Making you move too much. I feel bad.”
“What? Nonono it’s okay.” He reassured them in a panic, placing his hand in their shoulder. “I didn’t like the apartment I picked anyways. Too many bugs. This one is way nicer.”
Two just hummed. They weren’t sure how much they believed him. They thought about what they wrote before in their journal. They don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. Maybe the amount of times he’s moved is making him feel this way?
They went into the car and started driving to Lucas’ house. Two took notice to how still Four sat in his seat, fidgeting with the seatbelt. This was gonna be so hard. How were they supposed to help him get comfortable in their house and he’s not even comfortable in their car? Maybe Lucas and Animatic could help.
“WHAT?” Four yelled out in disbelief once they pulled up to the parking lot in front of where Lucas lived. There was one empty parking spot left. “THEY TOOK MY SPOT!”
Two raised a brow. This was the most emotion he’s shown in a while and it was over a parking spot? “There’s no reserved parking spots.”
“For me there is!” He complained like a child. “Every time I visit, I park right there!” He pointed at a small white car. “AND THIS GUY TOOK IT! THAT JERK!”
“Maybe they didn’t know! They probably don’t even know who you are!”
“Oh no. I know EXACTLY who that is.”
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“Four’s gonna be real mad you took his parking spot.” Lucas said, scrolling through her continue watching on her Netflix account. She was sitting on the couch next to Animatic, who had his arm around her shoulder. Circle, Animatic’s brother, was laying in his stomach on the floor.
Circle was visiting for the day since he felt he hadn’t talked to Animatic in a while. He shrugged. “Meh. It’s not like he’s here anyways.”
As if on cue, the front door slammed open with Four standing at the entrance. The three of them jumped at the loud noise and turned their heads simultaneously to look at him. Two popped up behind him nervously.
“CIRCLE!!!” He yelled angrily. He rushed toward him and kicked him in the side before he could do anything. Circle cried in pain and rolled over, holding where he was kicked. Four stared at him for a minute before looking at Animatic and Lucas. “Hi guys.”
“Hey” they both said at the same time before looking back at the TV like nothing happened.
Two, understandably concerned, ran over to Circle to help him up and check if he was okay. “What’s the occasion of your visit?” Lucas asked.
“Oh I’m still moving but some of my stuff is still here.”
“Oh!” Lucas stood up quickly, avoiding stepping in Circle as he was standing up from the floor with Two’s help. “I have your stuff in my closet. Come.” She led him to her room. Animatic, out of boredom, walked with them.
When they were gone, Circle sat down in the couch. Him and Two were in an awkward silence for a while. They had never seen each other before in their lives. How were they supposed to make a conversation?
“I know where they keep their gun.” Circle said out of nowhere.
“Uhhhhh I’m okay….Thank you….”
Animatic walked back outside and saw at the opposite end of the couch. They both watched him in confusion. He didn’t realize they were staring at him until around a minute later. “Oh. They didn’t need my help.”
“Uh huh.” Two nodded slowly before remembering why they wanted to visit in the first place. “Oh I need your help.” They pointed finger guns at Animatic.
He raised a brow. “For what?” He scooted, signaling that Two can sit next to him.
They got the signal and sat down. “It’s just that…every time we’re together at my house he’s always so uncomfortable-looking. Like he acts like he’s a guest. But he’s not. You know? I just want to know how you guys got him to feel comfortable when he lived with you guys.”
“We kinda just got comfortable with him day one. Like the first morning, we woke him up with a bag of ice.” He laughed to himself thinking about it.
Two, on the other hand, looked horrified. “HOW is that supposed to make him feel comfortable!?”
“Well because we didn’t TREAT him like a guest. We treated him like a friend.” Animatic shrugged. Two’s eyes widened. Have they been treating Four like they were a guest? Is that why he’s been viewing it that way? “Think of it as a permanent sleepover with a friend.”
Two thought for a moment. They were still a little unsure about this idea. “I don’t wanna go a little too overboard. I mean we’re more than friends. I think it’s different if I were to mess around with him like that versus you guys.”
Animatic waved his waved. “Pfft. Nonsense. Me and Lucas do it to each other all the time and now we’re engaged! It’s fine!”
Two hummed. They do seem to get along pretty well. Though everyone is different. They’ll have to think about it. They also aren’t entirely sure if Animatic is the best source to seek advice from.
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“I know I kept it in here somewhere…” Lucas mumbled to herself while she did a deep search through her closet. When Four was still in the process of moving into his apartment, he had forgotten a few things and she kept them all in a box titled: “Four’s Things”. And now she couldn’t find it. “Sorry. My closet is kinda a mess.”
“It’s fine,” Four excused her, looking around the room. It looked exactly the same as it did a year ago. It made sense though, Lucas isn’t one to change how her things look. She likes to keep things consistent. “Hey. Can we talk?” Four asked, his mouth moving without him really thinking. Though with Lucas, there isn’t really much that he hides.
“Yeah what’s up?” She said, still inside the closet.
Four leaned against the wall next to the closet door and started picking at the dead skin around his fingernails. “I don’t know…it’s just.” He sighed, trying to think of what to say. “I kinda feel…weird…moving into Two’s apartment. Which I shouldn’t because I’ve moved in with someone before—being you of course—but this feels different?”
“Maybe it’s because you guys haven’t known each other as long as we knew each other?” Lucas scooted back away from the closet so that she could see him.
Four hummed. “Maybe. But they’re my partner, you know? I should feel normal about moving in with them. As normal as I felt moving in with you.”
“Well you still were a little uncomfortable the first few nights.”
Four laughed. “Yeah until you guys started torturing me every day.”
“Hey! That was all Animatic and Clock alright? I had no say in any of that!” Lucas defended. Four just laughed more, which only cause Lucas to laugh with him.
She finally spotted Four’s box and grabbed it. She walked out of the closet and handed the box to Four. “You’re gonna be fine. Trust me.” She said with a smile before letting go.
Four smiled back and took the box. “Thank you.”
They both left the room to see Animatic, Two, and Circle watching some random comedy movie on the TV. “Ugh seriously, Mati!? You’ve seen this movie like ten times already!” Clock complained.
“So what!? They haven’t watched it!” He gestured to the other two sitting next to him.
“No I’ve seen it.” Two said, trying to sound as polite as possible.
“You literally put this on all the time when we lived together.” Circle rolled his eyes, not caring to be as kind as Two was. Animatic narrowed his eyebrows and threw two different pillows at the both of them.
Two grabbed the pillow and was about to throw it back before Four stood in front of them. “Ready to go?” He asked.
Two stood up and dropped the pillow on the couch “Yep!” They noticed the large box he was carrying and grabbed it for him so he didn’t have to carry it.
They were about to leave when Circle called out. “Oh wait!” He took off the blue sweater he was wearing and walked over to Four to give it to him before sitting back down.
Four raised a brow before getting a better look at the sweater. “Why are you always taking my stuff!?” He yelled. Two dragged him away before there was a repeat of what happened earlier. When they got in the car, Four threw the sweater into the backseat and barely made it into the box. “I gotta wash that.”
Two just laughed. That was the most talking they really did the whole car ride. Two was too lost in their thoughts to really say anything. They were focused on what Animatic told them. Four seemed to have stuff in his mind too as he was also dead quiet.
Two felt a little nervous at the quietness and awkwardly turned on the radio. It was some random station playing salsa music. The second Four heard it, he quickly changed it to something else. Two gave them a confused look at that but didn’t say anything else.
When they got to their apartment, Four went into his room to put his box with the other ones. All he really needed next was to put everything away. With taking up as little space as possible.
He grabbed the sweater that Circle had given him and contemplated putting it in the laundry basket or not. He walked up to it. Stared at it. Gently put the jacket in but then took it out.
Two watched this all happen from the door and sighed. They walked over, grabbed the sweater, and dropped it into the basket. “Oh. Thanks.” Four said, staring at the basket.
Two grabbed his wrist without saying anything and took him to the couch. Sitting him down next to them. Once they were both sat, Two sat so that their body was full facing him and held both of his hands. “What’s wrong?” They asked. The tone they used felt so demanding that Four was scared something would happen if he didn’t answer.
“Uh..” He tried to think of what to say. They knew something was going on with him. He knew that they knew. He looked down at their hands, trying ti desperately not to make eye contact. He never liked the feeling of having to stare into someone’s eyes like this. “I’m a little stressed. Is all. Moving is hard.”
Two looked down at their hands as well. They could noticed Four slightly trying to free his hands but they held him tighter. “Do you…not want to move in with me? Is that why you’re so uncomfortable? Is that why you won’t say anything about it?”
“Wha- NO! No no of course I want to live with you! It’s just…” he swallowed. “I…I’ve never really gotten this far in a relationship before. Everything that went on during the show. Moving in with them. Meeting their friends and then meeting mine. There’s something different in what we have. And I guess it’s…scaring me?” He laughed slightly at the last two words.
He felt so stupid saying all of this. He’s really only ever been in one relationship. Or two maybe? He’s still trying to figure out whatever went on with him and Lucas a few years ago. But neither of them have really gotten as far as the one he has now.
He’s never felt so attracted to a relationship. Never felt so needy to be with their significant other. Never so clingy. So dependent.
But what if they don’t feel the same way? What if they’ve dated a countless amount of person before and this was just another one? Just someone they’ve dated. If they were to break up, they wouldn’t be affected. He’d just be another ex.
But Two means everything to him. And he’d rather die than let them go.
But how does he know they feel the same way?
He was so lost in thought he didn’t realized how long they were silently sitting on the couch like this. “Four..” Two said. He flinched slightly. He felt scared. A fear that they were reading this thoughts. A weird fear. A paranoid and unrealistic one.
“I’m sorry..” he almost whispered. “I don’t want to be a burden on you.” Suddenly, he heard a small laugh. That turned into a bigger one. Like they were full on cracking up. He furrowed his brows. “WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!?” He yelled, much more angrily than the previous tone he was using.
He hit them on their knee, making them fall back in laughter. “I’m sorry! BAHA I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” They calmed themself down and sat up again. “Four, I INVITED you to live with me! Why would I ever see you as a bother or a burden if I willingly told you I want to share a home with you?”
Four looked away, face growing red in embarrassment. “I-I don't know! Maybe you just felt bad for me or something! Don’t make fun of me!”
Two chuckled slightly and interlocked their fingers. They looked at him with a kind and soft smile. Their face was a little red from the laughter. “Four I love you so much. I wanted to you move in with me because I love you. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Sure there will be some ups and downs. And sure maybe you will annoy me and bother me. But that won’t make me love you any less.”
“That’s…relieving to hear,” Four smiled, squeezing their hands. Two scooted backwards to press their back against the arm rest of the couch. Four sat against the and laid on their chest while they played with his hair. He wrapped his arms around their waist.
This was nice. It was just them. In their own home. Four’s life was changing. And it was changing for the better.
He just needed to accept it.