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stuck on the puzzle

Summary:

Lily Evans: journaler extraordinaire, self-proclaimed grandmother, and most definitely not falling for either James Potter or her pen pal.

a tale told through journal entries, letters, existential Quick Quotes Quills, and James Potter's terrible handwriting

Notes:

I originally posted this on HPFF under the username RavenclawFTW. Reposting here to get all my fic in one place. Don't think any warnings apply but let me know if I should add anything! Title from song by Alex Turner of the same name.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

9:54 PM, August 31st, 1977- My bedroom, Cokeworth, England, UK

I have decided to keep a journal. I know, I know- a journal? Really? Am I five? No. I am not five. I am seventeen, and I think that keeping a journal will be a great help to me this year. There are several reasons for this, and I have no idea why I’m writing this like a really shoddy essay, but I suppose I’ll ease into it over time.

 

Reasons Lily Evans Has Decided to Keep a Journal
1. My last year of school starts tomorrow, and I think this could be a great way to chronicle what happens there. I’ll be able to read it later and remember what it was like to be young and carefree (...or at least just young).
2. How fun would it be if my future children happened across my journal? Not that I’m writing with them in mind or anything....but I would go mental if I found my mum’s old journal from when she was young. Hang on, I wonder if she– nope, just went downstairs and asked, and she says she’s never kept a journal. Disappointing.
3. Over the summer, I realised something important about myself: I really don’t process what’s going on around me until much later. It takes me a while to really acknowledge my feelings, and maybe writing down my thoughts will help me not repress them as much.

I think I have sufficiently justified my purchase of this journal to move on.

School starts tomorrow and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I love classes, and I’ve already made a pretty good dent in most of my textbooks, but it’s somewhat overwhelming to be around people at all times of the day, you know? Especially when there are people you don’t want to run into or who don’t want to run into you...at least I’m Head Girl this year, so that’ll be a bit of a distraction. I wonder who got Head Boy– I’ve heard that the Heads usually end up dating, and I can’t help but get slightly swept away with that thought. Perhaps it’s Danny Everton– he is Ravenclaw Prefect, so it’s not unlikely. Better get some sleep before the big day!- Oh my goodness, I sound like a grandmother. Oh well...

8:30 PM, September 1st, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

James Potter is Head Boy. I’m not sure that anybody could have possibly expected that– when was the last time a Head hadn’t first been a Prefect? Strange. I was quite surprised when I found out about it, but I tried to be polite– we’ll be working together all year, so I might as well get over myself. Danny Everton looked furious when Potter walked- actually, more like swaggered into the meeting, but about half the girls drooled the whole time. Potter hasn’t given me any reason to be overly skeptical yet, but his track record isn’t promising. He was on time to the meeting, knew what to say, and didn’t ask me any inappropriate questions the whole time. At the end of it, he just smirked and asked, “Good summer, Evans?” before sauntering away back to his friends. It’s quite unusual behavior, but I can’t say I’m opposed. Because we’re Heads, we also got out of patrolling the train, which is wonderful, and we won’t have patrol ourselves ‘til the weekend!

We’re supposed to have some seventh year meeting next Friday, and I have no idea what it’s about. I thought as Head I’d have inside information! People keep asking me why we’re having it, and I just tell them, “You’ll find out when you need to know” in a haughty tone. Best to cover up my own ignorance of the matter.

9:56 PM, September 2nd, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK
(I’m beginning to regret starting all my entries this thoroughly, but I rather feel like I’ve committed at this point.)

First day of classes were decent! It’s very odd to have our first day of class be Friday, because it’s already the weekend! I think Transfiguration should be a real treat (seriously, am I a grandmother), or at least quite interesting this year. I finally got a chance to talk to Remus, who was still looking a bit peaky today. It must be hard for him, but at least he’s got another few weeks to rest until the next Night. I know his friends call it his “furry little problem,” but that seems to diminish its significance to me. I remember the first time he told me....

Scene: eerie corridor, around 11pm, fifth year. Our steps echo into the silence of the abandoned castle. (Not really, as everybody was just sleeping, but I like how that sounds.)

“The moon looks quite lovely tonight, doesn’t it? It’s nearly full,” I remarked, the most casual person in the world. Remus coughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh, I’m not sure. You know what they say about full moons...”

“That they’re very important for potions?” I guessed. He blinked at me. “Oh, about how people go crazy on them?” Remus nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like bullshit to me. I mean, I guess there are werewolves, but that’s rather different. It’s not their fault or anything. Godric, remember what those idiotic Hufflepuffs said about it in DADA when we were studying them last year? That’s some prejudicial nonsense.

Remus smiled softly. “Lily...you know, don’t you?”

I blinked up at him. “Whatever could you mean, dearest Remus?”

“How’d you figure it out?”

“If I had figured out anything,” I hedged, “it could perhaps revolve around the fact that I am observant, especially of my friends, and that I have an excellent memory for essays we write, especially when they’re as interesting as the one detailing the signs of a werewolf. But again, I have no idea what I may or may not have figured out.”

Remus hugged me, which is highly unusual, as neither of us are touchy in the least.

“I guess I don’t need to tell you about the importance of keeping it a secret, right?” he asked after a moment. I nodded seriously. “You’re the best.”

Fade out.

In retrospect, he didn’t really tell me anything. Mostly just confirmed my suspicions. Anyway, this was a wild tangent, and I should get to bed. Several essays to write in the morning, not to mention the Heads meeting Potter and I have tomorrow evening!

11:02 PM, September 3rd, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK
(This is seriously out of hand. I wish I didn’t care about stylistic consistency this much.)

I can’t believe I’m writing this, but I think James Potter might have matured over the summer. We started to get into one of our classic petty arguments during patrol, and I was kinda looking forward to getting a good shout in because I’m somewhat tense and yelling at Potter always helps that, and he just sighed and asked if we should split up for the patrol. We didn’t, because we can be mature adults, but the fact that he’s the one who suggested it is kind of shocking.

I guess, if the point of this journal is to help me process my feelings, I should probably address the Potter Situation. I don’t think I’ve ever actually hated anybody, except maybe those asshat Death Eaters and Severus. I’ve told Potter that I hate him, but I don’t think that’s really accurate. He frustrates me. He really, really frustrates me. He’s conceited, and talented, and lazy, and a bully, and immature, and a showoff. At least, that’s what I would have said at this time last year. Now, I’m not so sure– Dumbledore may be a bit wacky at times, but there sincerely must be a reason that he made him Head Boy.

He’s been a pretty solid Head so far, and though I may be skeptical, it seems like he really is trying.

He hasn’t asked me out once this year.

10:15 PM, September 7th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I got a bit carried away with my first round of essays of the year, so I haven’t written in here for a few days. I think my goal will be once a week at least. The last few days of class have been exhausting but also great– I can tell I’ll have a lot of work this year, especially with NEWTs on the horizon, but it seems interesting. Remus is in most of my classes, as are Black and Potter, but I hardly have any classes with Beatrice or Desdemona. I missed them over break, so it’s nice to be back with them, but it’s also somewhat nice that I don’t have to be with them all the time, you know?

11:30 PM, September 8th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

We finally had the seventh year meeting tonight after dinner and it was quite strange. Dumbledore led it, with McGonagall looking skeptical to his right. Apparently he thinks that we need more “year-wide cooperation” in this time of turmoil, chaos, etc. so he’s decided to set up a penpal exchange. We had to write down our name and our penname for the exercise, and I chose something dumb because I don’t do well when put on the spot. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that Dumbledore is a freaking genius, and then he does incredible magic like he did today- he magicked up a list of the pairings, gave half the room their pairs so that they can start off the exchange, and then did something so that his list records every time a letter is sent between the pairings, to make sure that people actually participate. Sometimes I wonder why on earth he is putting his magical interest and efforts into inane shit like this instead of saving the world or something, but that’s not my place. Now I’m just waiting for my first letter to arrive.

11:56 PM, September 8th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I think that my last entry is what I’m trying to avoid with this journal– I didn’t address my own reactions to the events at all! I’m really curious to see how it goes, and maybe I’ll get a new friend out of it. Dumbledore is a bit crazy, but I trust him completely and I’m sure there has to be a reason for this. Time for bed, but maybe the first letter will come this weekend.


 

Dear “Emerald,”

Hello, howdy, hey, hi, bonjour, etc. This is really weird and I have no idea what to say. I’m not supposed to give away any “identifying characteristics,” but I have no idea what qualifies as that, and so I’m going to end up rambling awkwardly for a whole roll of parchment. I’m sorry in advance.

Alright...so I’m your penpal. I like Quidditch, Transfiguration, and DADA. But not too much, you know? I’m not super nerdy or anything. I just find them interesting. My favourite Quidditch team is Puddlemere, and I’ve been to six of their games. I don’t know why I included that, but I’m just going to go with it. Fun fact: Dumbledore is also a Puddlemere fan! One time when I was in his office, we chatted about their current season for fifteen minutes, and then he invited me to listen to the league final with him. Love that guy, and listening to Quidditch with him is truly a pleasure. You should try it out sometime.

Other things about me....well, I try not to be this self-centred most of the time, but I think that’s what I’m supposed to write about? I’m an only child, although my best friend stays over so much we may as well be siblings. My parents are super old but very supportive and that’s nice. Wow, that was another weird detail to include. I’m so sorry. I wish you had started these letters instead of me, because I’m really letting the weirdness out today. C’est la vie.

Hmm....other neutral facts about me....I have broken six bones in my life: my arm twice, my nose twice, my right ring finger, and my middle right toe. Somehow breaking my nose twice kind of knocked it back into shape, so that’s convenient. Most of those injuries come from Quidditch, but the toe was from when the love of my life sent an incorrect hex at me during class.

Oh! I can talk about the love of my life! That’s neutral enough, I suppose. I’ve known this girl for ages, and the minute I saw her I knew she was the one for me. Well, as an eleven year old, I just knew that I really wanted to annoy her so that she would look at me, but I can now tell that’s because of my feelings for her. She used to hate me, because I was really obnoxious towards her and her friends, but now I don’t think she hates me. She tolerates me, if anything, mostly because we’re stuck together a lot. I’m trying to take my friend’s advice to calm down and not freak her out all the time by asking her out, and by acting mature and not “like a drunk five year old,” but now she just seems indifferent towards me. Any advice, Emerald?

Okay, I’m almost out of parchment which is pretty solid. I’ll shoot you some questions to help aid your writing process: why the name Emerald? Can I call you Emmy? Is it because you’re in Slytherin? I believe we can work through that together, Emmy. How are you liking our first week back at school? If you could be an Animagus, what form would you like to take, and what form do you actually think you’d take? Have you broken any bones or have any other fun injury-related stories? What about weird Dumbledore anecdotes?

xoxo
Raven

(Just kidding. It would be super weird to sign a penpal note with xoxo. But I also don’t really have a great alternative, so we’re going with it.)

Dear “Raven,”

I have to say, I found your letter really funny. I was really relieved when I didn’t have to start off the whole exchange thing, so thanks for taking one for the team. I’m also not clear as to what “identifying characteristics” are, so I’ll try to be vague.

I’m sorry to disappoint you, but I’m not a huge Quidditch fan! I don’t get much access to it when I’m at home, so it’s hard to really follow. I’m a huge fan of my House team, and when I can, I follow the Harpies, but I’m sure your passion surpasses my own by orders of magnitude. Well, actually, I have no idea how you’d measure that, so maybe that wasn’t the way to phrase it. Oh well, let’s move on.

You’re a Transfig/DADA person, interesting. And don’t think I buy for a second your claims that you’re not nerdy– the lady doth protest too much, if you know what I mean. But it’s fine, because I’ll proudly admit that I’m a huge nerd, but more of the Charms variety. So maybe someday we could tutor each other other something. Just kidding, that would be super weird. Don’t feel like you have to hide your nerdiness from me, though!

It’s nice that you and your best friend are so close! My school friends don’t come around my home that much, and my friends from home and I have grown apart since I came to Hogwarts. I do have a sister, but we’re not very close. My parents are also supportive, so I guess we have that in common! They’re not that old, though.

I’m sorry to report that I have never broken any bones, nor do I have any interesting injury stories. I’m more of a library person, so the only injuries I’m likely to receive are dropping a book on my foot or getting eye strain from reading too much. Merlin, that sentence depressed even me. I’m sorry. It seems like you have enough injury stories for the both of us, though!

Sounds like you’ve got it bad for this girl! I agree wholeheartedly with your friend’s advice. I know that if I had a guy asking me out all the time, I would be overwhelmed by it. Not that I have experience with that or anything. I would say that it seems like you may be idolizing her, and that you should try to get to know the real her, you know? If you’ve liked her for so long, you may be more into the idea of her than the reality of her. I would also like further explanation on how you’ve acted like a “drunk five year old” in the past, because that sounds hilarious.

Okay, final question round: I think my reasoning for “Emerald” may be an identifying characteristic, as would saying if it’s related to my House (then again, I am just assuming that you’re a very uncreative Ravenclaw); Emmy is fine, but only if I can call you Rav-Rav; first week back was nice, I like my classes and it’s good to be back with my friends; I’d love to be like an owl or other bird, but I think I would probably be like a cat or something like that (if I could just figure out how to finally cast a Patronus, I would know already!); and as for Dumbledore...one time I ran into him standing by the lake, talking to some honest to goodness merpeople! He’s fluent in Mermish, and he taught me some phrases after he was done with his conversation. I also find him immensely amusing.

I’d also like to say that I’m glad you’re taking this seriously– one of my friends said that she received her letter and her partner had just said that they should send blank parchment back and forth to get credit. I feel like we could actually be friends though!

Here are some questions for you: first, answer your original questions, and then what’s your favourite food? What do you miss most from home when you’re at school? If you had a House Elf, what would you name him or her? And finally...which of the six Puddlemere games you’ve attended was your favourite, and why?

Until later,
Emerald

(Or should I say xoxo?) 


 

11:42 PM, September 9th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

Rounds tonight went surprisingly well with Potter. We actually talked for once, instead of arguing or just co-existing. He can be amusing when he wants to be. He still finds pranks a little too funny for a proper Head Boy, but nobody’s perfect. I mean. Especially Potter. He’s far from perfect. Did you know that he once

You know what, nevermind. I’m going to get over this weird thing I have going on with Potter. I know he seems more mature these days, but I’m sure that won’t last. We have too much history. Henceforth, I will stop saying henceforth, and also find other people to focus on. Like Beatrice and Desdemona! I haven’t written nearly enough about them. I will start now, with a quick anecdote.

Scene: the girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK, the other night.

“Have either of you guys gotten your letters yet?” Des asked, flopping backwards onto her bed.

“Well, I was the one who had to send mine first,” Bea told her, sitting beside her. I stayed on my own bed because inertia is a powerful force.

“I got mine!” I told them. “My penpal seems great.”

“Lucky!” Des groaned. “Mine is a right twat. They just sent me a one-liner, and all they said was that we should send blank paper to each other so that we get credit.”

“That’s some bullshit,” Bea agreed. “I would send them back a super long letter with tons of random anecdotes just to annoy them.”

“You’re a genius, Bea,” Des laughed, sitting up to grab some parchment and draft a response.

“So what’d you tell your penpal about, Bea?” I asked.

“It was a mess, Lils,” she sighed. “Seriously, I was all over the place, and I didn’t even write that much. How are we supposed to talk to one another without revealing who we are? I’m sure everybody knows a lot about me, so I have to keep it super inane!”

“Bea, you sound like Potter,” I chuckled.

Bea chucked a pillow at me before flopping back onto the bed. “You know what I mean. It’s hard to be on the Quidditch team– I’m in the public eye! I can’t help it if the people love me.” She stopped talking due to the helpless giggles that overtook her. “What makes you like your pen pal so much, Lils?”

“He just seems really funny, and nice. He wrote a decently long letter, and he just came off super friendly and sweet, you know?”

“Somebody’s got a crush!” Bea sang in a childish voice, sticking her tongue out at me.

“Stuff it, Duke!” I tossed the pillow back in her direction. I missed, of course. “That’s ridiculous.”

“You’re blushing!” She was smirking obnoxiously. Why do I even like her?

“Get out of here,” I groaned. “Besides, he spent like half the letter talking about this girl he’s in love with.”

Bea let out a low whistle. “Tough break.”

“Bea, leave Lily alone and come proofread my letter,” Des ordered. “Is it annoying enough?”

Fade out.

That was a super inane conversation I just recorded, but I’m sure future Lily will appreciate the reminder of the dumb conversations that happen so frequently up here. Well, I’ve got a mountain of work for tomorrow, so I’m going to bed now.


Dearest Emmy Em Em,

What a delight your letter was to receive! I foresee a long and profitable friendship. I apologise now for my handwriting– it was nice of you not to mention it in the last letter, but it is clearly the Hippogriff in the room, no? It’s atrocious. I’m amazed you can read it. You have The Gift.

While you may be onto my slightly nerdy tendencies, I’m definitely onto your sporty ones! “Not a huge Quidditch fan” my arse– watching school matches totally counts. I’m willing to look past your love of the Harpies, as you will eventually realise the sheer awesomeness of United and the weakness of the Harpies. I mean, a team of all women? Next you’ll be saying that they should get the vote!

I kid, I kid. Obviously, I hope. I’m all for female empowerment.

Charms, really? Charms is like a less cool Transfiguration! We do complement each other’s skillsets well. We’ll go far when we decide to take over the world. Please keep my nerdiness on the DL– I have a reputation to maintain. Magic is just ridiculously awesome, you know? I feel like people really don’t appreciate it enough.

Wow, I can’t imagine having a sister you don’t get on with! I’m sorry. That must be rough. No wonder you don’t want your friends around for that! Personally, as much as I love my friends, I always appreciate getting away from everybody for the summer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m aggressively extraverted. But Hogwarts can be a bit much, you know?

Hey, eye strain is a serious problem! Someday I will help you get an awesome injury story. They’re the best kind of story. Alternatively, I will suspend my disbelief if you’d like to tell me a made-up injury story to increase your coolness factor. It can be a project of ours.

Emmy, you have given me wonderful advice. I got her into a real conversation the other night and it was great. She’s so beautiful and smart and opinionated– sorry, you really don’t need to know this. But I am labelling you my Official Love Guru, and will be consulting you further for wooing advice (if the position interests you, of course).

It honestly does not surprise me in the least that Dumbledore speaks Mermish. The dude was probably around when the merpeople originally came up with the language. I didn’t know there were merpeople in the Lake though, so that’s some valuable information right there! You will totally get your Patronus down– I think we may be going over it in DADA this year, because of the rogue Dementors out there these days.

My own answers: my answer for “Raven” would be identifying, so I’m not going to say, just like you. I’m amused that you think it comes from Ravenclaw, but we can discuss that at a later date, when we actually meet. Rav-Rav is fine, and I’m glad you’re going along with my insanity. My first week back was great! Love my friends and it’s always swell to be back at Hoggy-Hoggy-Hogwarts. My animagus form...I would love to be like an elk or a stag or something that had antlers, because that’s badass, but clearly I would be a dog. I’m too adorable and excitable, you know?

Favourite food is really tough, Emmy. Perhaps orange juice. I love orange juice. Maybe that doesn’t count as food, though....so probably pancakes as a backup. I wouldn’t name my House Elf anything, because I think they should have the right to name themselves. The whole practice seems a bit whack to me, actually. Favourite Puddlemere game, also tough...we played the Cannons at one of them and totally obliterated them, so that was good fun. I always love watching the Chasers, so that was a great chance to see them.

Questions for you: you’re trapped on a desert island with just your wand. What are the first three things you do? What’s your favourite part of being back at school? And why do you think Dumbledore wants us to write these letters?

xoxo
Rav-Rav

 


OFFICIAL NOTES: THE MARAUDERS’ FIRST POWWOW OF SEVENTH YEAR

as recorded by Wormtail, who drew the short straw

“Welcome gentlemen to our first meeting of the school year.” P yelled out.

“Took us bloody long enough.” P said. “You’ve finally gotten a break from staring vacantly at Evans eh?”

“Wormtail you do realise that if you call both Padfoot and Prongs “P” we won’t know what’s going on right?” M asked.

“Oh of course. Sorry.” W said.

“Why don’t we just get a Quick-Quotes Quill?” Pr groaned. “I’m sure we could get one in the mail. Then maybe there would actually be correct punctuation in the notes.”

“How d’you mean?” Pa asked.

“I’m looking over Wormtail’s shoulder now and he never uses any commas.” Pr answered. “Also his prose is quite boring.”

M sighed. “Can we get a move on? I have patrol soon.”

“Alright first updates on ongoing operations.” Pr announced. “Operation Evans is going nicely thanks to advice from both Moony and Emerald–”

“Emerald?” W asked.

“Wormtail do you ever pay attention to what we talk about in the dorm?” Pa sighed.

“I’m usually more focused on my snacks.” W answered.

“Emerald is Prongs’s pen pal partner.” Pa said.

“Oh right. I did the smartest thing for that! I told my partner we could just send empty letters and still get credit.” W exclaimed.

“Don’t you want to make new friends?” Pr asked.

“Not really. I’m stressed enough as it is. Can you guys stop talking to me? I’m having trouble talking and writing at the same time.” W said.

“You’re the one who asked the question!” Pa cried.

“Moving right along...do you need any more help with Evans Prongs?” M asked.

“No I think we’re on a good, track for now. I’m aiming to ask her out to the Hogsmeade weekend after Halloween so we, still have some time for everything.” Pr answered.

“Then we can finally get him to stop, moaning on about his unrequited love eh?” Pa asked.

“Do you think he’s going to be any better when they’re together.” M asked.

“Merlin, Wormtail, you, truly do not understand punctuation.” Pr sighed.

“When exactly does Hogwarts think I learned grammar?” W cried.

“Lay off him. Do we have any other ongoing operations?” M asked.

“Operation Armor has slow progress but I did get one on the fourth floor to jump up and down yesterday.” Pa said.

“That’s a far cry from tap dancing.” Pr said.

“Patience my friend.” Pa advised.

“Any new ideas?” M asked.

“I recently learned that there are merpeople in the Black Lake.” Pr said.

“Are you serious?” Pa asked.

“Yeah also apparently Dumbledore speaks Mermish.” Pr said.

“I’m not surprised. Where are you planning on going with this Prongs?” M asked.

“Not sure yet but I’m positive there’s potential here.” Pr answered.

“Definitely.” Pa said.

“Also remember the rule for this year.” Pr said.

“No pranking actual students. I hate how you’re responsible now.” Pa sighed.

“I don’t.” M said.

“Alright so going forward. I’m on Operation Armor Prongs is on Operations Mermish and Evans and Wormtail is on Operation Punctuation.” Pa said.

“What?” W asked.

“How have you gotten, this far in your education without understanding commas?” Pr asked,

“I’ll order a Quick-Quotes Quill.” M said.

“Perfect. And the next outing is on September 27th no?” Pa asked.

“That’s right. We’ve got a few weeks.” M answered.

“Well I think that’s about, all we need to discuss today. Meeting adjourned.” Pr said. “Wormtail, you can stop writing.”


11:14 PM, September 12th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I never realised just how much work seventh year would be! In Transfiguration, we have our first exam next week and I’m freaking out. It’s always been my weakest subject– I only got an E on the OWL. Maybe I could ask Raven for study tips...this is such rubbish, I don’t even know him! Or maybe I do! It’s such a weird setup! I don’t want to be weird about it, but I do think we get along pretty well.

It’s been really nice in the library the past week. I know that’s like a ridiculously nerdy thing to say, but it’s so calm! I haven’t even broken into the Ravenclaw common room for the quiet yet, but I guess it’s because it’s so warm out these days. I hate warm weather, as blasphemous as that may be. I can’t wait for sweater weather. I knit myself a jumper at the end of last winter that I really haven’t had a chance to wear enough.

I studied with Georgina today, which was calming. It’s always weird to me that she’s in Hufflepuff, because she seems like such a Ravenclaw, but I guess the same could be said of me. She’s only in Potions with me this year, but luckily I convinced Slughorn that we should be partners, so I don’t have to sit with Severus anymore. Anyway, better go finish up my letter for Raven. I’ve already been sitting on it for a few days.


Dear Rav-Rav,

Your handwriting is nothing next to one of my friend’s! Well, I say friend, but I don’t know if that’s really what we are. He’s been an obnoxious pest for most of our relationship, but he seems better these days. His handwriting is absolutely terrible, though. I borrowed notes from him once, and it was literally illegible. Also, he doesn’t really take notes, so it was a completely useless exercise.

I nearly went angry feminist on your arse, but I’m sure that’s not necessary. That’s exactly why I like the Harpies though, so I’m not sure what excuse you have for liking United. Also, it’s extremely weird to me that I’m talking smack about Quidditch teams, because I’m really not very invested at all. I’m pretty sure my House is going to win the Cup this year, though, so that’s nice. My friend’s on the team, and she practices like crazy.

Don’t worry, I won’t let anybody know about your secret nerdiness. This will be quite easy as not even I know who you are. I agree completely about both magic and Hogwarts! I love it but it can be a touch overwhelming. And I wasn’t around magic much as a kid, so I’m constantly amazed by it.

I’m trying to wrack my brain for injuries and I really don’t have any! Someday I’m sure it’ll be different, especially in the current climate. I get sick a fair amount– I had chicken pox as a kid, and I got pneumonia once! So that’s an adventure?

As long as I can put Official Love Guru on my CV, I’m totally in. I’m glad you two had a nice conversation! I think for now it’s important to try to get to know her better. When you finally ask her out, you don’t want to be disappointed when you find out she’s not all you thought she was. Hopefully you two continue to get along! When in doubt, ask about favourite class. There’s always material there.

I hope I learn how to cast a Patronus! I’ve tried on my own, but it’s really difficult. Sometimes when I’m trying to go to bed I just try to figure out which memory I should use. It’s kind of calming, and then I usually have nice dreams, which is always a good thing.

Orange juice is definitely not a food, but pancakes are a great choice. I love pancakes as well, but I wish they made chocolate chip ones here! I’ve always wanted to find the kitchens and see if I can make some pancakes myself! I miss cooking. Also, you just passed my secret test about house elves! I’d never heard of house elves until like third year and I was totally confused. They’re basically slaves, and everyone just goes along with it! And of course United smashed the Cannons, they’re rubbish!

To answer your questions...on a desert island, I would first figure out some sort of shelter, hopefully using trees or something. My skin is likely to burn very quickly and painfully so I don’t want to stay in the sun. Then I’d make sure I’m hydrated, which is where Aguamenti comes in handy. Finally, I’d work on sending sparks into the sky or creating a large fire to attract attention. Food is the really difficult bit, but that’s more case-specific, so I won’t go into it. My favourite part of being back is definitely the calm in the library these days– it’s not even necessary to hang out with Ravenclaws to get away from the noise! And finally...Dumbledore is hoping to bring the Houses together, obviously! I guess he thinks we’re more likely to be friendly to each other if we think we could be interacting with our pen pal friend at any moment!

That, or it’s an elaborate matchmaking scheme and Dumbledore is even more devious than previously imagined.

xoxo
Emmy


Heads’ Meeting Notes: September 17th, 1977
Location: the prefects’ common room; gentle light washing over the whole room, creating a creative and comfortable atmosphere

“Potter, are you sure we need this Quick-Quotes Quill?” Lily Evans asks, looking skeptically at the fresh, crisp parchment upon which I write. “We don’t need an exact record of our conversation...”

“We all chipped in to get it, so I figured I might as well get fair use out of it,” James Potter replies, shrugging. His tousled hair glints in the afternoon light.

“It used the term ‘I,’” Evans notes. She continues to watch my rapid movements across the page. “...is this quill sentient? Does it have a sense of self?”

“It shouldn’t,” Potter intones, his dark brows creased in thought. His hazel eyes seem to glint as he thinks about the issue at hand. “It’s also noting wildly specific details.”

“Is there any way to change the settings on it?” Evans inquires, one lock of hair escaping its place behind her ear.

Potter taps me and mutters quickly. “Yes, one second.”

“I’m really curious about the Charms behind this,” Evans comments. “It’s probably really complicated. How long does it last?”

“I’m not sure,” Potter says, shrugging. “You’d have to ask Remus. Anyway, should we get a start?”

“Never thought I’d see the day when Potter wanted to get started before me,” Evans replies with a smirk.

“I mean, it’s not that I want to stop our chitchat,” Potter shrugs after coughing for a moment, “but I figured you probably have places to be, people to see...”

Evans also shrugs. “It’s a Saturday afternoon. I’m mostly just studying for Transfig at this point. This is the first time I’ve been out of the library today.”

“That doesn’t seem healthy,” Potter frowns.

“I had eggs for breakfast, so that’s some protein right there.”

“That wasn’t exactly my point...also, eggs?” Potter questions, skepticism seeping through his tone. “When there were pancakes today? What kind of a monster are you?!”

“Hey, I’m as big a fan of pancakes as the next person, but I just wasn’t feeling it today, you know?”

Potter shakes his head. “I truly do not know.”

“Sorry to disappoint you,” Evans smiles. “Should we get started? So McGonagall told us we should switch up the patrol schedule and pair up members of different Houses. You know how Dumbledore is about inter-House cooperation this year.”

“Yeah, he’s really into it,” Potter agrees. “How’s your pen pal?”

“Oh, he’s great!” Evans enthuses. “We get along quite well. He’s really nice and funny.”

“Looks like I’ve got some competition,” Potter murmurs.

“What was that?”

“Nothing! That sounds great,” Potter says with a clearly fake smile.

“What about yours?” Evans asks.

“Oh, yeah, she’s awesome, too,” Potter nods. “Really funny and chill.”

“Wonderful.” Evans pauses, frowning. “Anyway, so Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slytherin, right?”

Potter nods. “Exactly what I was thinking. Here, let’s just modify the old schedule. I’m sure I have it here...”

“Merlin, your handwriting is atrocious!” Lily grins.

“Yeah, there’s really no excuse,” Potter sighs. “Anyway, here, let’s just switch this...”

Several minutes of writing ensure with no words to be recorded. Do they not know they can turn me off? What’s the point of me if they’re going to write themselves? I was literally made for this.

“Godric, Evans, the Quill is taking sassy notes about our silence!” Potter exclaims, giving my life meaning once more.

“See, I told you we don’t need it,” Evans chuckles. Thanks, Evans. It’s not like I need you either.

Potter continues to inspect my work. “I think we hurt its feelings.”

“Sorry, Quill,” Evans sighs, not looking up. Real sincere, Evans. “Potter, did we pick the Hogsmeade weekends for October yet? I know next week is the first one.”

“I think we were thinking the 8th and 22nd, right? Not actually Halloween weekend, but just before.”

Evans nods. “Alright, I’ll talk to McGonagall about putting the notices up. And we have a meeting with the prefects on October 1st?”

“Yep.”

Silence once more as they write out the schedules. Apologetic though they were, they still do not seem to appreciate the boredom that they create with silence. I am made to be used, not to think! This is sending me into a spiral of existential crisis. What does it mean to exist? What is the self? Why do I have to obey Wizards?

“Oh Merlin, the Quill is having an existential crisis,” Potter says, seeming to repress his laughter. What about this situation is funny? “Evans, I think we need to talk while we work or it may start a rebellion against us.”

Evans chuckles. “Fair enough, Potter. Trust you four to get the only existentially challenged Quick Quotes Quill in existence. Why’d you get it, anyway?”

“Wormtail’s grammar in the notes was getting too painful.”

“You guys take notes? Of what?” Evans asks.

“Oh, just when we have important conversations. Records are important, you know?” Potter answers, not at all suspiciously. “So....um, what’s your favourite class?”

“Not the kind of question I expect from you, Potter,” Evans replies, tone surprised. “Talking about school during the weekend? That’s practically unheard of.”

“Hey, I like school!” Potter protests.

Evans scoffs. “Likely story.”

Potter frowns. “Fine. Maybe I don’t like it as much as you or Danny whatshisface, but I like it enough to do well!”

“Hey, I don’t want you to pretend to like something just to keep your Quill from committing suicide.” She pauses, looking at Potter consideringly. “But to answer your question, Charms.”

“That’s just lame Transfiguration!” Potter cries.

Evans scoffs once more. “Are you serious? You prefer Transfiguration over Charms? Transfig theory makes me want to quit school!”

Potter hesitates, looking at Evans out of the corner of his eye. “You know, Evans, I could help you out if you want...”

Evans shakes her head. “Yeah, that’s likely. Is that your favourite subject, then?”

“Probably, although DADA feels really important these days.”

“Tell me about it,” Evans agrees.

“Alright, I think that’s about all we need for the week,” Potter says. “I’ll let you get back to your Transfig studying.”

Evans collects her parchment and organises her bag. “Thanks, Potter. I’ll see you in class. Or before then, because, you know...we live nearby one another, and eat in the same place, and...um, okay, bye.” She hurries out.

Potter stares wistfully after Evans. “Bye, Evans. Your hair is beautiful.” Potter looks back at my parchment. “Oh shit, stop recording!”


10:14 PM, September 17th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

Maybe my introduction to these entries would make more sense if I actually wrote them in different places. I’ll try that sometime. For now, I’m still trying to figure out the conversation I had earlier with Potter. I know I wanted to write about things other than Potter, but also this journal is to help me figure out things, so stop judging me, future Lily.

So, I think Potter may not be into me anymore. He was talking about his pen pal earlier, and he called her “funny and chill,” and those definitely are not words he would ever use to describe me. I mean, I think I’m funny and chill, but I always become tense around him, so it doesn’t really come out, you know? Of course you know. I’m talking to myself.

I brought up Hogsmeade, and he didn’t even try to invite me! I’m so confused by this. Did I do something to make him not like me anymore? I mean, I know that I was really rude to him when he asked me out before, but I thought he was going to keep doing it until he succeeded, you know? And I figured....I guess, I figured I would eventually say yes?

Does this mean I like Potter?

It is way too early in term to be having a crisis like this. I’m going to bed, and on Monday, I’m going to freaking ace that test.

8:48 PM, September 20th, 1977- Furthest corner back, Hogwarts Library, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I am deadly afraid of writing in this in public, and this has been a huge mistake.

10:36 PM, September 20th, 1977- Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

Alright, never doing that again unless I’m dead certain nobody’s around to read it. I was anxious just having it in my bag! I haven’t even written anything scandalous in here. Not that I have anything scandalous I would ever write, but...I don’t know where I’m going with this.

I think the Transfig test went fine. Not perfectly, and my last short answer was way off base, but I’m hope for a low E. Maybe I should’ve taken Potter’s advice...or asked Raven for some?

I’m ignoring my last entry. I was just going crazy from my studying.


September 25, 1977

Albus,

I know that I was sceptical of your plan at first, but I just checked the parchment and they’ve sent more letters than any other pair. I still find it peculiar that we have intervened in such a way, but it does appear to be working.

I’ll be by your office later to discuss the latest report from Longbottom on the Diagon Alley explosion. It seems like His work.

Minerva


OFFICIAL NOTES: THE MARAUDERS’ SECOND POWWOW OF SEVENTH YEAR
as recorded by myself, a Quick Quotes Quill who was made exactly for this use, but still wonders about the necessity of my existence at all
setting: furthest bed down in the Hospital Wing, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

“Okay, I set up the silencing charm so we can talk here,” Potter announces, setting me on the table beside Lupin. “Moony, you’re up for it, right?"

“Yeah, last night was one of the better ones,” Lupin agrees. Black inspects my work.

“Wow, you really weren’t kidding about its weird philosophical streak, Prongs,” Black comments. Lupin leans over to check my parchment.

“Is there any way to make it use our nicknames instead?” Lupin asks.

Potter squints at Lupin. “I mean...I don’t know why you’re asking us. You seem like the one who would know the answer to that.”

Lupin taps me, muttering, but does not just asking politely. “The instructions didn’t mention anything...”

“Please, Mr. Quill, do you think you could use the nicknames?” Wormtail asks.

“‘Mr. Quill’?” Potter repeats.

“We should give it a name!” Padfoot exclaims. “How about Feathers?”

Moony sighs. “This is ridiculous.”

“Hey, why isn’t it doing it for me?” Potter asks, frowning down at my parchment.

“I think you just have to be nice to it,” Wormtail explains.

Potter scoffs. “It does realise it’s a quill, right?”

“C’mon, Prongs,” Padfoot says, pushing Potter lightly. “Feathers is basically part of the Marauders, now.”

“Sorry for hurting your feelings, Feathers,” Prongs sighs. That wasn’t so hard, was it?

“Was that so hard?” Padfoot asks. Great minds think alike! Do I even have a mind?

Moony covers his face with his hand. “I’m ashamed to know any of you.”

Prongs shrugs. “Alright, how is Operation Armor going?”

Padfoot perks up. “I got that one I’m friends with on the fourth floor to salsa, but not tap dance.”

(Beat.)

“I don’t even know how to handle that,” Prongs murmurs. “Are we content with salsa dancing suits of armor?”

Moony shakes his head. “I thought it was specifically about tap dancing.”

“It seems like it may be hard to fix that, though,” Wormtail comments nervously.

“Moony, maybe you should help Padfoot out?” Prongs suggests.

“Fair enough,” Moony agrees. “Especially now that I’ve finished Operation Quill.”

“Do you guys ever think we should come up with cooler names for our operations?” Padfoot asks.

Prongs shakes his head. “Remember when we used to do that? They were super inconvenient.”

Padfoot frowns. “You guys have gotten so boring.”

“You’re not necessarily wrong,” Prongs concedes. “Okay, so Operation Armor is on its way. Operation Evans is progressing nicely, although I’m a little worried about her pen pal. She seems really into him.”

“That doesn’t seem like much of a threat, because she can’t know who he is?” Moony wonders aloud.

“Maybe for now, but we’re allowed to reveal ourselves on Halloween,” Padfoot comments.

“Wow, shit, really? I totally forgot about that,” Prongs mutters, sliding a hand back through his hair.

“Yeah, Dumbledore said we only have to do it for two months,” Moony adds. “Which is pretty long, if you think about it. I guess he doesn’t want it interfering with exam preparation or something.”

“You still have a month, though,” Padfoot reminds him.

Prongs shrugs. “I guess, yeah. Maybe I should ask Emerald about this.”

“Are you sure you’re the only one who may be into their pen pal?” Moony asks slyly.

Prongs stares at Moony in confusion. “What?”

Padfoot smirks. “You have been really into Emerald....you write, like, super long letters, and you’ve sent them like every other day!”

“Yeah, but she’s just a friend!” Prongs sputters. “There’s no way. Besides, she’s totally a Slytherin.”

“What? Why do you think that?” Moony asks.

Prongs rolls his eyes. “Um, her name is Emerald? Is that a Slytherin move or what?”

“That’s really poor reasoning.”

“Well, it’s not like it’s just her favourite colour or something!” Prongs exclaims. “She said that the reason she picked it could reveal her identity, which means it’s definitely because she’s in Slytherin.”

“You’re not actually denying that you like her,” Padfoot points out.

“Hey, I love Lily!” Prongs cries.

Moony tilts his head skeptically.

“Love is such a strong word to throw around...”

Prongs sighs. “Fine, I’m in strong like with Lily.”

“This is totally beside the point,” Padfoot comments impatiently. “Prongs, what do you want to do about the Operation?”

“Moony, do you think you could ask Lily about her pen pal?” Prongs asks.

“I suppose so,” Moony agrees. “Have you been working on being more mature?”

“You know I have!” Prongs protests.

“Yawn, okay. Moving on from that. Wormtail, how’s the punctuation?” Padfoot asks.

“Well, you know I got that Slytherin guy to tutor me,” Wormtail responds.

Prongs, Padfoot, and Moony all turn to stare at him. “What?!”

“Yeah, Mulciber?” Wormtail squeaks. “He’s great at grammar!”

“Wormtail...why didn’t you ask one of us?” Moony asks slowly.

“You guys were being mean about it!” Wormtail cries. “He’s really patient.”

“You know, that’s on us,” Padfoot sighs. “Is he a decent bloke?”

“He’s nowhere near as bad as Snivellus,” Wormtail shrugs.

“Well, I guess that’s fair enough,” Moony murmurs. “Let us know if you want help.”

“Prongs, how’s Operation Mermish?” Padfoot enquires.

“Brilliant!” Prongs exclaims. “I’ve figured out the plan. Wait, I’ve written it down here...we’ll need to get it over with before it gets too cold, though. Maybe this is our Halloween plan.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Moony agrees, his eyes drifting shut.

“Okay, we should probably leave Moony at it,” Padfoot announces. “He’s starting to look really tired. Any other points of conversation?”

“Nope, meeting adjourned,” Prongs declares. “Feathers, you can stop now.”


Dearest Rav-Rav,

Your last letter had me in stitches. My dorm mates were seriously looking at me like I’m losing my mind. But I agree with your friend– it sounds like you basically are a drunk five year old! Not that I’m sure exactly why that’s a mental image your friend conjured– do you lot go around getting five year olds drunk?

My friend is getting a bit nervous for the Quidditch season even though the first matches are over a month away. We still have Halloween and everything to get through before then! She’s thinking about going pro, though, so there’s a lot of pressure on her. I would never want to play professional Quidditch– there’s so much pressure!

I’m glad you felt good about that Transfig exam, because I’m not so sure. I don’t think I did as well as I’d hoped to do. You remember that kind of friend I explained? He offered to help me, but I turned him down. Maybe he did actually have some helpful tips. Do you have any helpful tips? Why am I saying helpful tips so much?

As for your request for help from the Guru...you think your girl (noting, of course, that people have autonomy and do not belong to others) might be into her pen pal? Interesting. Let me know what your friend learns. In the meantime, you need to make sure she knows that you’re still interested. You said you’ve stopped asking her out all the time– maybe she’s doubting that you still like her? My suggestion: try to flirt a bit with her. That said, I have no advice for flirting and I’m pretty sure you don’t know how to flirt either. What my friends would suggest is to touch her when it’s clearly unnecessary. Like maybe bump hands when you’re walking, or rest your hand on her arm when you’re laughing, or remove an eyelash from her face. That’s classic advice, but hopefully it could help you show her that you’re still the guy for her.

Seventh year is a lot more stressful than I expected. I mean, I expected a lot of stress, and it’s even worse than that. I’m starting to look at jobs out of school, and I have to get such good scores...also there’s more responsibility on my shoulders, and my friends come to me for help more than ever before. Not even the study room by Ravenclaw Tower is safe anymore!

As for your questions: if I could l move to any country in the world...France. It just seems so beautiful and magical, you know? Like nothing bad could ever get you there. Also, I took one year of French before starting at Hogwarts, so I’m basically fluent. Bonjour, monsieur. Comment ca va? Bleu. Pamplemousse.

I don’t own any pets, but I’ve always wanted a cat. My sister’s allergic, but hopefully I can get one after graduation. One of my dorm mates has one and I cuddle with her all the time. She’s the most calming influence in my life. I can’t believe you have your own owl though– I’ve always wanted one of those as well! Must be super convenient for talking to your elderly, supportive parents.

My favourite spot in Hogwarts is probably the top of the Astronomy Tower. I go there sometimes when I’m overwhelmed and it helps me appreciate how small my problems are in comparison to the universe and nature. I live in a city, where you can’t see nearly as many stars, so it’s really beautiful to me.

My questions: where would you go? Your favourite spot? What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you at Hogwarts? What do you think you’ll miss most? And...who do you think is going to win next month, Gryffindor or Slytherin?

xoxo
Emmy


3:22 PM, September 30th, 1977– Study Room by Ravenclaw Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I have ventured forth once more, courageously writing in this journal outside my four-poster bed. I truly put the lion in Gryffindor, am I right? I need a break from my coursework and frantic avoidance of James Potter. Something happened the other day which still has me reeling.

Scene: the Library, midafternoon Wednesday. Soft light frames the bookcases, adding an angelic feeling to the place.

Picture me, Lily, sitting at her usual table in the far back of the library, studying Charms. Well...reading about advanced Charms as a way to unwind.

Enter: James Potter.

“Hey Evans,” he whispers, startling the bejeezus out of me.

“Potter, you know where the Library is?” I ask scathingly. I’m so witty and sophisticated.

“Why don’t you believe that I like school?” he whisper-yells. “Seriously, I swear I’m more complicated than I seem!”

“Perhaps,” I concede. “What brings you here today?”

“I was looking for a book for the DADA essay.”

“This is nowhere near the DADA section.”

“I got the book.” He wiggles book in air. “But then I noticed you over here, so I thought I would say hi.”

“Why?” I ask suspiciously.

“Merlin, Evans,” he sighs. “I just thought we’ve become...friends?”

I stare at him blankly.

“Fine, I guess I was wrong,” he whisper-exclaims, frowning. “You know, I’ve really tried to show you that I’ve changed since fifth year, but you refuse to see it!” He turns to leave.

“Potter, wait,” I say before lowering my voice. “I’m sorry. That’s unfair of me. I just keep waiting for something to go wrong. You’ve been a great Head Boy, and I really should try to move on. I think we have become...friends, loathe though I do to admit it.”

“Friends,” he repeats, smiling.

“Yep.”

“So maybe...we should call each other by our first names,” he suggests tentatively.

“Perhaps...”

“After all, that’s what friends do....Lily.” He smirks and runs a hand backwards through his hair, the Classic Potter Move.

“I suppose they do...James.”

“Great!” he whispers, beaming. He stares intently at my face for a moment. “Hey Lily, you’ve got a little something on your cheek.”

I reach up to brush it off.

“Here, I’ll get it.” He leans in, ignoring all personal space norms, and brushes my cheek incredibly lightly. “It’s an eyelash. Make a wish.”

I stare at him in confusion. He coughs.

“Um, or not. Anyway....catch you later, Lily.”

He trips backwards in attempting to flee the scene.

“What the hell...” I mutter to myself, watching him race away.

(Fade out.)

That happened two days ago, and I’ve been avoiding him ever since. Also, I keep accidentally calling him James Potter instead of just James because it makes me so uncomfortable. I’m going to try to unpack my feelings now.

Immediate reaction: confusion. Why had Pot– James come over to talk to me in the first place? I guess he is a friendly guy? But it seems like he’s trying to move on from me?

Secondary reaction: a weird fondness for James? Like he was weirdly sweet and defensive?

Final reaction: I’m just going to admit it...attraction. I know! It’s so unheard of! But when he touched my cheek, I swear the heat didn’t dissipate the whole afternoon.

Seriously, why am I feeling like this towards James? This is weird. I kinda brought it up to Des and Bea, but they’re super convinced that we’re going to get married and stuff, so it wasn’t really my target audience.

Hence the Study Room. Anyway, back to studying now!

10:48 PM, October 1st, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

James and I had patrol last night, and it was weirdly normal. He didn’t mention the Library Incident, but he did call me Lily with a big, kinda cute grin. We talked about Charms, and I think I’m slowly winning him over...with my charms! I crack myself up.

Des wants me to figure out some Halloween costume because she’s making us go to the Marauder’s Halloween party. It’s still a month off, and I’m Head Girl, but I guess she’s basically overpowering me. I asked Georgie what I should be, and she told me I should defy expectations and be like a sexy Healer or something. Instead she inspired me for the most perfect costume ever: grandmother.

Think about it! I am a grandmother! I say yowza, and I wear unnecessarily large jumpers, and I actually knit said jumpers! Total grandma material. Seriously, I’m hilarious. Anyway, better get to sleep.


Dear Em to the Em to the Meeee,

I have to keep this short, because I have to go play Quidditch in a minute, but I wanted to update you on the Love of my Life sitch.

I tried to casual touching thing and I think it went well? I had a small argument with her, then she apologised (which is very unusual), then I went in for the casual touch. She looked kinda confused, and she totally watched me walk away, so it seemed like it worked?

The problem is that she totally avoided me after that. We were normal when we had to be, but usually I see her around more than that. Do you have any idea what’s going on? I’m kinda panicking and don’t want my mates to tease me.

xoxo
Ravvvvvvy-Rav

My Fav Rav,

It sounds like the plan totally worked! I think she’s just confused by her own feelings at this point. If you guys are getting along and she seems like she’s avoiding you, she probably doesn’t want to admit how she feels!

Alternatively, I don’t want to get your hopes up too much, so maybe you did make her uncomfortable. Make sure you’re always respecting her boundaries. Perhaps, if the weirdness continues, broach the subject and apologise for touching her without permission? Unless you got permission, in which case I have no idea.

Do you have a plan for asking her out?

xoxo
EmEm

Dearest, darlingest ME,

That plan is confidential. But my mates have totally got my back. I’m starting to get a little bit worried about it, though.

xoxo
Caw

Raving,

Why? She’ll totally say yes!

Green

Sparkly,

That’s the problem.

Hahaha that’s not the problem at all, but it felt really dramatic to say that. I’m just getting worried that I’ll ruin everything if I ask her. Also, I’ve recently started wondering if there are other girls out there for me, you know?

xoxo
Beaky


11:26 PM, October 3rd, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I had a nice chat with Remus today about our pen pals. Apparently his is some other bloke and they get along ridiculously well, but neither write that much. I told him about how bad Raven’s handwriting is and he seemed amused. Raven seems to be making progress with his girl, so that’s good, I guess. Des never heard back from her pen pal, which is too bad. Bea has been arguing with hers but I think she likes it more than she lets on.

Who knew these pen pals would be so important to the year? I can’t imagine the past month without the letter from Raven!

Bea and I had a nice conversation about what we want to do after Hogwarts today. It’s still scaring me, but I feel like there’s more out there than I know. The Wizarding world could probably due with some upgrades to their hiring practices, but I’m not going to be the one to tell them that!


Remus Lupin
Year Seven Potions
NEWT Practice

The Properties of Bezoars in Antidotes

Antidotes are a complicated field of study, and many approaches to studying them have been taken over the years. While some potioneers prefer to use antidotes that are faster to brew, these are often more powerful as they haven’t had time to boil off the excess power and can cause internal damage to the poisoned victim. However, the slower antidotes are less useful in actual life-or-death situations, and can require more complex ingredients. Within the field, however, there is one commonly accepted ingredient that transcends the two camps: the bezoar. The bezoar, which can be found in the

did you talk to lily yet shut up, we don’t want her to kick us out of the library!!!!! write it here
Stop writing on my essay! you can copy it on another parchment I hate you love you too wolfboy Padfoot, now is not the time! I need to finish this! no, i want to know now! Are you actually a toddler? wouldn’t you like to know? No? c’mon, i’ll let you get back to work if you tell me!! Fine. I talked to Lily last night, and I found out some very important pieces of information about her pen pal. like what??? you’re killing me!! Why do you insist on abusing punctuation? i’m just averaging out wormtail Fair point. what did you learn??? James is Lily’s pen pal.

Don’t you have anything to say? You look like an idiot. Close your mouth.

how do you know??? did she tell you?? No, but she told me about her pen pal in great detail, and I’ve been hearing bits and pieces from James, and it’s quite obvious that they’re paired together. are you for real? Yes....? this is so great!!! she’s totally going to say yes to james!!! It would appear so. I’m just worried that they’re not going to realise in time. how do you mean? Well, I think there’s a chance Lily decides not to say yes to James because she thinks it’s unfair that she fancies her pen pal. ...which is james. But she doesn’t realise it. so what should we do? should we tell them? No, I don’t think we should interfere that much. They have to figure it out for themselves. Let’s just make sure that they reveal themselves as pen pals before James wants to ask her to Hogsmeade. that shouldn’t be so bad. It’s James and Lily. Something’s bound to go wrong, don’t you think? fair enough. let operation pen pal begin.

wait, how on earth has james not realised that it’s lily yet???? he’s been talking to the supposed love of his life for a month and he hasn’t even notices? He’s convinced that Emerald’s in Slytherin, remember? Plus, the two of them have never really talked about real things before. He usually just stares blankly at her from a distance or gets too nervous to focus around her. what’s her excuse then? She’s sure her pen pal is a Ravenclaw. james??? a ravenclaw?? I know. They’re the most oblivious people I know. tell me about it....


OFFICIAL NOTES: THE MARAUDERS’ THIRD POWWOW OF SEVENTH YEAR
as recorded by myself, a Quick Quotes Quill who has accepted the futility and ephemerality of life

setting: Shrieking Shack, Hogsmeade, Scotland, UK

“Welcome, friends,” Prongs cries into the abyss. “Today, we have assembled to discuss several important matters. The first of this is a quick update on Operation Evans, which seems to be going according to plan. Moony, your update on the pen pal sitch?”

“Nothing to worry about, Prongs,” Moony reassures. “Lily’s pen pal is in love with a girl and that is a main topic of conversation between the two.”

“Oh thank Godric,” Prongs sighs.

“Yeah, go team cupid, etc,” Padfoot says hurriedly. “Moving on: Moony and I have figured out how to make the armor tapdance!”

“Fantastic!” Prongs exclaims. “So we’ll be debuting that...Friday?”

“Works for us,” Moony agrees. “Lunch?”

Padfoot nods. “You read my mind.”

Wormtail enters, panting, clearly having run as fast as his short legs can handle.

“Did I miss anything important?” he asks, doubled over.

“Not so much,” Moony replies.

“Where were you?” Padfoot questions.

“Just with my tutor. Operation Punctuation is great!”

“Perfect,” Prongs smiles. “I also have a plan for Operation Mermish! Here, it’s all on this parchment...”

Padfoot lets out a low whistle. “Wow, looks brilliant, Prongs.”

“Top notch,” Moony agrees.

“So this is for Halloween, no?” Wormtail asks.

“Good job, Wormtail! Actually paying attention for once.” Padfoot rolls his eyes. “Unfortunately, Halloween falls on a Monday this year. Do we want to do the prank on the actual day of?”

“I say go for it then, yeah.” Moony shrugs. “Just before the Feast.”

“And when are we doing our annual party?” Padfoot enquires.

“That was next on the agenda,” Prongs replies. “I was thinking maybe do it the weekend before Halloween. That’s the perfect time to ask Lily out and it gives us a week to prep.”

Moony coughs. “You know, I don’t think it’s right to do it before Halloween. We should do it the Friday after, spread out the spirit a bit.”

“But–”

Padfoot nods. “Yeah, then you can ask Evans out the day before the visit! No time for either of you to freak out or talk yourselves out of it.”

“What if we had the party on actual Halloween?” Wormtail suggests. “The teachers would have no idea! They’d never suspect a party on a Monday.”

Prongs nods thoughtfully. “That’s surprisingly brilliant...”

“Actually, that may make people act more responsibly,” Moony points out, “if they know they have class the next day...”

“Damn you and your responsibility!” Padfoot laments, as one who knows that all of this is meaningless in the grand scheme of oblivion.

“So prank and party in one day?” Prongs clarifies.

“They’ll never have proof to connect us back to the prank, so we won’t get detention,” Moony reminds him. “Especially because we’ve been lying low all year.”

“What about the armor?” Padfoot asks. “They’ll definitely suspect us for that.”

“Good point,” Moony replies, frowning.

“Evans will definitely be pissed if she thinks I did that. I think she likes how I’ve quit the pranks recently.” Prongs looks thoughtfully into the distance.

Moony looks less sure. “I’m not so sure– she does have a pretty good sense of humor. I think she could appreciate it, especially if nobody’s hurt or targeted.”

“I’ll take the fall,” Padfoot sighs. “It is mostly my prank, anyway. No offense, wolfboy.”

“None taken,” Moony shrugs. “Is that all we had for today?”

“Yep, class dismissed,” Prongs announces. “Feathers, you have done your duty well.”


4:13 PM, October 8th, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

It’s been a surprisingly calm week. James and I have had some normal conversations, so I’ve stopped avoiding him. I forgot to mention that I ran into him and Black in Hogsmeade last weekend. I was shopping with Des and we had a pretty normal conversations. He didn’t even make any jokes about how we were in Hogsmeade together, which is what I would have expected.

He still hasn’t asked me out this year.

Things with Raven are continuing as normal...he’s so sweet! I can’t believe this girl has rejected him for years. She’s probably some Ravenclaw bitch. Or she’s really nice and I’m just way off base. Who really knows? I’m getting kinda nervous about the whole thing ending– what if we don’t get along in real life? We haven’t mentioned how we’re allowed to reveal ourselves in just three weeks, but I guess if he hasn’t brought it up, I won’t either.

I helped Des with some of her work today, but I could tell she wasn’t really getting it. Bea got really frustrated and stormed off, but I think she was closer to getting it in the end after Bea wasn’t around to stress her out.

7:18 PM, October 11th, 1977– Study Room by Ravenclaw Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

This Transfig assignment is kicking my arse. I’m going to ask James for help. Or...I could ask Raven? I’ll try that first.

11:22 PM, October 11th, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

Raven sent back the best advice about the assignment! That little Ravenclaw nerd.

Bea and Des think my costume idea of a grandma is ridiculous but also fitting. I’m glad I brought my knitting needles to school this term, as they’ll really make the costume come together.


Heads’ Meeting Notes: October 15th, 1977
Location: the prefects’ common room, but what does that matter when all will soon be consumed by oblivion?

“Merlin, what’s wrong with this quill?” Evans asks, frowning down on my work.

“Oh, Feathers?” Potter asks. “It’s realised the futility of life.”

Evans frowns at him.

“Sometimes magic is really fucked up.”

Potter shrugs. “You’re not wrong.”

“Alright, so we’ve just got the Hogsmeade weekend next weekend to plan for,” Evans announces briskly. “The dates in November have been sent to McGonagall, but we need to figure out who’s postering the common rooms.”

“Sounds good,” Potter agrees. “Let’s see who did last time...”

“Does...Feathers still do that weird depressing thing if we stop talking?” Evans asks hesitantly.

Potter shrugs. “I’m not sure, because we’ve only used it when we’ve had a lot to talk about. But if it’s still fitting its depressing commentary into the location, I’m sure it’ll only get worse if we give it time to think.”

“Fair enough. Why the name Feathers?”

Potter grins. “You’d have to ask Sirius, but I kinda like it.”

“I’m not sure I want to know much more about what’s going on inside of Black’s head,” Evans chuckles.

Potter nods. “Probably a good call.”

“Hey, speaking of Black, how on earth did you lot get those suits of armor to tapdance yesterday?”

Potter coughs. “What makes you think I helped? I am Head Boy, you know.”

“Likely story. It was incredible magic! Not to mention the sight of McGonagall frantically waving her wand as they tried to get her to join in is going to get my through our mock exams this term.”

Potter stares at Evans.

“Are you serious?”

Evans raises her eyebrows.

“Yeah....?”

“I just thought you wouldn’t like it....pranks and all that.”

Evans shrugs. “I’ve been told I could stand to loosen up a bit. Plus, it wasn’t hurting anybody. Well, besides McGonagall, I suppose...”

Potter chuckles. “Oh, well, I actually don’t know much. Sirius and Remus were the ones who did it.”

“Fair play to them, then.” Evans stares down at her parchment. “Did you get a chance to start drawing up the patrols schedule for the week?”

“Yeah, why don’t you look over it...”

Silence descends onto the table, leaving me to lament the oblivion that will soon consume us all. As Kierkegaard so eloquently put it: “...what is life but madness, and faith but folly, and hope but reprieve, and love but salt in the wound?”

Am I even alive? Do I have the capacity to love?

“Who on earth is Kierkegaard?” Potter asks, squinting down at my work.

“Danish philosopher from the 19th century,” Evans replies breezily. Potter blinks in confusion at her.

“Why do you just know that off the top of your head?”

“I mean...what do you do during the summer holidays?” He continues to stare at her. “Besides all the...socializing with your peers and such.” She coughs. “Um, anyway, I think we’re about done here?”

“Yep,” Potter agrees. They begin to collect their things. “So how are things with your pen pal going? Are you two still talking?”

Evans nods with a smile. “Yeah, he’s great. We haven’t mentioned how the project is almost over though. Are you still talking to your person?”

“Yeah, she’s still cool.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Great.” Lily smiles slightly at him. “Well, I’ll see you around, James.”

James stares after her as she leaves the room. His eyes glaze over for a moment before he turns to me.

“Feathers, when do you even have time to read Danish philosophy? How can you even read? This is getting out of hand....oh, you can stop writing now.”


Dear Emmy,

Wow, I can’t believe your friend and her pen pal have been arguing for two whole weeks! You’d think they’d just stop writing each other, no? I guess there may be a little more going on than meets the eye...my mates don’t mention their pen pals at all. It’s funny how much this has changed my year so far– it’s definitely working as a inter-House cooperation thing, because I’m a lot less skeptical of Slytherins now. Thanks for that, Emmy.

Speaking of pen pals and this whole situation...I think we both know there’s only two weeks until we’re supposed to reveal ourselves. What do you want to do about that?

Okay, my answers for you: I think my favourite part of my room at home is the Puddlemere poster I have above my bed. I know that seems like a dumb answer, but it’s because my uncle gave it to me. That’s why I’m a Puddlemere fan. A lot of people assume it’s just because they’ve been so good recently, but I first started following them because my favourite uncle is a huge fan and he took me to my first ever game, which is where I first learned that I love Quidditch. I leave it at home because I don’t want anything to happen to it, but I know that I’ll move it to my house after Hogwarts right away.

The memory that I use to make a Patronus is of my Sorting, actually. I’m really proud of my House, and I think my parents are proud too, and I met my best friends right away. I even introduced myself to the Love of my Life then, so it’s kind of the whole package. How’s your progress making a Patronus going?

I have actually only been out of the country once, when my family went to visit some really distant family in France. I was totally confused because I speak absolutely no French, but at least I got to go to the beach and hang out with some family.

For you: what are you thinking about doing after graduation? What’s your favourite way to destress from school? And finally...describe your best friend at school.

xoxo
Rav-Rav


7:18 PM, October 17th, 1977– Study Room by Ravenclaw Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I haven’t had as much time to write recently because I’ve surprisingly been talking to James a lot more. He’s weirdly good to study with– he doesn’t talk too much, just gets on. I never realised that he actually took his studies seriously, but he says that he’s kicked it up a notch this year because of NEWTs. There’s a lot I never knew about him before.

I think I’m starting to actually see why so many girls find him cute. Not that I necessarily find him cute– but maybe I get the appeal.

Raven mentioned meeting face-to-face soon, and I can’t tell if I’m excited or nervous or both. What if he’s terrible in real life?

Time to get back to Potions.


Dear Rav to the Rav,

Funny you should be less skeptical of Slytherins! I’m way nicer to Ravenclaws these days. We’ll see how it goes down after the reveal, I guess. I’ve been thinking about how we should do the reveal, and I personally believe that we should make it as ridiculous as we possibly can. So my thought: top of the Astronomy Tower, midnight, Halloween. How melodramatic is that?

That sounds like a really sentimental poster! You don’t have to justify yourself at all. I don’t even have any good answers to that at all. I don’t keep anything important in my room, except my journal. Even that isn’t all that great.

That sounds so sweet! As far as my own Patronus...I got a wisp to come out the other day, but I haven’t had all that much time to practice. I still like to think of memories, but none particularly stick out to me. I’m sure I’ll figure it out soon enough.

I’ve only been to France as well! But I do remember some of my French, so I wasn’t totally lost. It was with my family, though, and we’re not that close, so it wasn’t the best trip. I love when we go to the beach in England. That’s much calmer and we don’t have to spend as much time together.

After graduation, I have no clue. I’m taking a fair number of NEWTs, so I should be qualified for something, but I’m not sure what. I’m going to need a decent salary, though, because my parents won’t be able to give me much money. With the current political climate, it’s hard not to think of becoming an Auror, but I’m not so sure about it. What about you?

My favourite way is actually to knit, because I’m secretly a grandmother. I’m working on the spells to knit magically now, but it’s a lot more satisfying to do it without Charms. I also really like writing as a way to get away from it all, so thanks for providing an outlet!

My best friend at school...she’s my Housemate, and we have pretty similar backgrounds so she gets a lot of my jokes. She’s also not as loud or outgoing as our other friends, so we can just sit together in silence. How about yours?

I have to run in a moment, so I’ll just ask this: what is it about this girl that makes you so sure she’s the Love of your Life? What first got your attention?

xoxo
Emmy


9:56 PM, October 22nd, 1977– Study Room by Ravenclaw Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

In our Heads’ Meeting today, James made me laugh so hard that tears actually came out of my eyes. I don’t understand why I never thought he was funny before! I know that he’s changed since that terrible day fifth year, but I don’t think I’ve really thought about how I’ve changed, too. I think I’m less uptight, even with NEWTs approaching. Or maybe because NEWTs are coming up? I hope I’m a good Head Girl, even with this attitude.

James and I have been reviewing for our mocks on patrol, even though they’re over a month away. I think he thinks it’s silly, but I’m glad he’s going along with it. Patrol takes a long time when I could be studying, but at least he’s a good study partner.

There’s something about James that always keeps me thinking about him. I really can’t explain it. I’m glad that we’re friends now, because I’m finally getting to know him better. Bea thinks I have a crush on him, but she’s been convinced of that since fifth year.


Emmmmmmmeeeeeee,

Top of the Astronomy Tower, midnight, Halloween. It’s a plan. I’ll be the one in the costume.

You keep a journal? I’ve always been interested in the fact that people keep journals. What do you write in it? Why do you have it? Please elaborate. And I’m sure you’ll get there with your Patronus!

I’m not sure about my post-graduation plans, either. Luckily I’ll be able to live with my parents for a bit if I need/want to, but beyond that it’s pretty hazy. Perhaps look into becoming an Auror, but I’m not sure I’d be qualified.

Knitting is awesome! I didn’t know that anybody at Hogwarts knit, though. Do you only knit secretly in your bedroom or something? You should be proud! You’re creating things! That’s awesome!

He’s really funny and sarcastic, but I know that he’d do anything for me. He treats everything like a joke except for his friends, especially if they need him. I don’t think there’s ever quiet when he’s around, though! We’ve also been through a lot together, and he’s my favourite detention partner.

I get asked about this a lot, actually. I can’t explain my feelings towards her. I don’t know her that well, because when I was younger I didn’t ever have real conversations with her. I usually just stared at her or zoned out while she was talking, so I should know a lot more than I do. But I know that she’s smart, funny, determined, nerdy, and incredibly responsible. I just think that we really balance each other out really well, and I hope she can see that, too. Thanks to your tips I think I’ve begun to win her over– I’m going to ask her to Hogsmeade soon, and hopefully it won’t ruin everything.

There’s just something between her and I that can’t be explained. It feels inevitable, or like we’re pieces in a puzzle that just need to click together in the right way. We’ll get there.

xoxo
Rav-Rav


11:48 PM, October 25th, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

Things I Have Deduced About Raven: A List by Lily Evans

1. He is a Ravenclaw.

proof: his pen name is Raven, he’s super nerdy and smart, and he comes up with creative questions (quintessential Ravenclaw features)

2. He has magical parents.

proof: never mentions any surprise at the Wizarding world, has “always” thought the House Elf thing weird, feels that people don’t appreciate magic enough (something no Muggleborn would say– we appreciate the hell out of it)

3. He most likely is on the Quidditch team.

proof: he has mentioned leaving to play Quidditch, has watched games for tactics before, loves Quidditch a lot and did not mention how it’s a shame that he can’t play it (which is what any huge fan who’s not good at it would say), is worried about people learning about his nerdiness

4. He has pranking streak.

proof: mentioned how he was in Dumbledore’s office as though it was a normal thing, gets excited when he learns more about the castle, knows a great deal about the castle, has group of friends that he is very close to who also get in trouble

5. He is a very talented Wizard.

proof: when I said that I wish I could cast a Patronus, he told me that I would learn soon enough, not that he too wishes that, which implies that he already can (because somebody who’s as into DADA as him would totally want to cast it), also his Transfig tips are genuinely the best (even if they’re barely legible)

6. I have an unfortunate and pointless crush on him.

proof: I’ve been going along with his weirdness, I picture him as a super cute guy, the fact that I picture him at all, the fact that I have spent the past month giving him advice about how to win over his girl, the fact that I can’t wait for Monday to come

I’m screwed.


OFFICIAL NOTES: A SECRET MARAUDER’S SUBCOMMITTEE
as recorded by myself, a Quick Quotes Quill who has stared into the void

setting: empty classroom, Third Floor, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

“Padfoot, why’d you bring Feathers to this? It’s supposed to be a secret,” Moony groans, attempting to deprive me of my raison d’etre.

“It looked really sad and droopy, so I thought getting it some use may help with the weird existential crisis,” Padfoot replies. “Alright, this is a check in on Operation Pen Pal, as well as final notes for Operation Mermish and the party.”

“Operation Pen Pal is going swimmingly,” Moony comments. “They’ve agreed to meet at midnight on Halloween, so we just need to make sure that Prongs doesn’t try to ask her out at the party before he has to leave.”

“I’m thinking that I should pretend to be drunker than I am so he’s obligated to help me,” Padfoot suggests. “Otherwise he’s definitely going to try to ask her out.”

“Good thinking. We’ve already gotten the invitations out, right?”

Padfoot scoffs. “I mean, we’re only inviting the girls in the year, a few guys from the Quidditch team, and that one Hufflepuff girl, Georgie. It’s not exactly an extensive guest list.”

“It’s barely a party,” Moony notes idly. “Sure, there’s music and there’s a bit of booze. But at the end of the day, it’s mostly just us hanging out in our dorm with most of our possessions temporarily shrunk down, dressed up in costumes.”

“Our costumes this year are pretty lame, though,” Padfoot replies. “Not that much effort going into them.”

Moony shrugs. “Anyway, we’ve put out the party invites. You’ve already gone to Hogsmeade for the candy and firewhiskey, right?”

“Yep, it’s in my trunk now. And we’ve got the decorations from previous years all set.”

“How’s Operation Mermish, then?” Moony asks, jotting something down on his parchment.

“James has got it absolutely perfect! It’s a great continuation of Operation Armor.”

Moony grins. “That was so brilliant, and you only got three detentions! Not bad work. Who’s taking the fall for Mermish? You and I?”

“Yeah, we don’t want James to get in trouble as Head Boy.” Padfoot rolls his eyes. “So that’s going to be after classes end, but just before the Feast, and then the party starts at 8, and then they’ll be meeting at midnight.”

Moony lets out a low whistle. “Busy day.”

“Tell me about it.” Padfoot scratches his head absentmindedly. “I think that’s about it, no?”

“Sounds good to me.” Moony stands up and stretches, Padfoot’s gaze following the movement. He looks back down at me and frowns.

“Feathers, you should stop now.”


4:13 PM, October 30th, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I’m already so nervous for tomorrow that I can’t focus on studying. Luckily I finished all my essays for Monday and Tuesday yesterday, but this is still annoying and highly unusual. What if Raven and I don’t get along? What if we get along too well, but he’s already in love with that other girl?

I’ve also realised how inane most of my journal entries have been as I’ve waffled on about liking Raven or befriending James, and I apologise to my future self for this. I suppose once the dust has settled it’ll be funny to look back on these, but my future children may be disappointed by how boring my life was, not to mention scarred by my mentioning of a crush.

Bea said that she and her pen pals already revealed themselves accidentally, and they met up for lunch yesterday. He’s a Hufflepuff named Benedick, and they argued for ten minutes before sneaking off. I think she may have met her match.

Des’s pen pal never responded to her annoying anecdotes. She’s been disappointed not to have a pen pal, but she also says she doesn’t like writing letters much. Silly goose.

11:13 PM, October 30th, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I forgot to mention the party tomorrow– the Marauders have had a Halloween party the past few years, just a chill thing in their dorm room. Even Mary’s coming, and she’s even less social than I am! I think Bea is going to bring Ben along, so we’ll see how that goes down.


Emmy,

See you tonight?

xoxo
Rav-Rav


Notes– Transfiguration, October 31st

tap parrot atop head, mutter incantat

are you ready for the party tonight? padfoot, why are you writing on my notes because this is dead boring and we have an exciting evening ahead of us!!! true. I think I’m ready, but I’m nervous about Evans mate i honestly cannot read your handwriting, please write more legibly I AM NERVOUS ABOUT EVANS why? if she says no, it’d be dead awkward to do patrol and stuff with her bullshit what? you’ve been asking her out for years and it hasn’t been awkward! yeah, but we weren’t friends then she can probably tell that you’re still mad for her– i think you’re just deflecting deflecting from what? how you feel about emerald you’re mad so i’ve been told. here’s my two knuts: don’t ask evans out tonight. wait til after you’ve met emerald and see how you feel about it then. maybe this has been enough touchy feely stuff for me, i’m out thanks padfoot anytime, prongs


Rav-Rav,

I’ll be the other one in the costume.

xoxo
Emmy


3:13 PM, October 31st, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

I AM FREAKING OUT. Nine hours until Raven is revealed. Remus told me to go outside before the Feast to study with him, and it is weirdly warm for late October, so I may just do that. It’ll help distract me, at the very least.


Official Detention Records: School Year 1977-8
Submitted by: Minerva McGonagall
Name(s): Lupin, Remus; Black, Sirius
Year(s): 7th
House(s): Gryffindor
Detentions Assigned: three each (cleaning out Professor Slughorn’s stores)
Offence:

With some of the most impressive organization, spellwork, and leadership I have ever seen in my years as an instructor, Black and Lupin have once again put their talents to the inane and disruptive cause of mischief and pranking. I was alerted to the event as I walked through the Entrance Hall, where I could clearly hear extremely loud laughter filtering in from the grounds. As it is late October, I immediately became suspicious and went outside to see what was happening. What I found almost defies description.

The Giant Squid was, for lack of a more exact term, doing ballet on the surface of the Black Lake. Other inhabitants of the Lake were doing choreographed dancing behind the Squid, notably several grindylows and a large portion of the merpopulation. The dance was admittedly remarkably organized and moving as an interpretation of the life cycle of the squid. A large crowd had gathered to watch the spectacle, and I was somewhat disappointed to find both the Heads in the group, laughing hysterically.

When the dance was completed, the crowd cheered loudly and Black and Lupin each bowed theatrically. This is abnormal behavior from Lupin, but Black has been known to have special influence over him. I immediately brought them to my office, where I questioned them about the prank.

I was initially concerned that they had actually used magic on the merpeople, which is of course a huge offence and would have to be reported to the Ministry. Surprisingly, they told me that they hadn’t needed to use any coercion: they used a translation spell to communicate with the merpeople and help teach them the dance, after casting a Bubble Head Charm and swimming to the mermish town. The merpeople then brought the grindylows and Squid into it on their own, which is another surprising turn of events.

I wasn’t immediately sure what punishment was appropriate, as this has truly been incredible magic and organization and it’s hard to punish that. However, they flagrantly broke unwritten school policy by swimming in the Black Lake and harassing the merpeople, and so I decided that three detentions should be sufficient.


OFFICIAL NOTES: MARAUDERS’ HALLOWEEN PARTY PREPARATION
as recorded by myself, a Quick Quotes Quill; but then again, what is the self?
setting: Boys’ Seventh Year Dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

“Padfoot, do we really need to record this?” Prongs groans. “This is getting way out of hand.”

“It’s a big night!” Padfoot exclaims. “I thought it’d be fun to record our thoughts, feelings, dreams, etc. before it all goes down.” Prongs glances skeptically at him. “Also, I’m worried that Feathers may off itself if it doesn’t get used periodically.”

What happens to a quill when it dies?

“Prongs, your wig isn’t on exactly right,” Moony comments, crossing the room to fix Prongs’s white hair.

“Let’s state for the record what our costumes are this year,” Padfoot suggests. “I’m dressed as Professor Slughorn.” He pats his charmed stomach, which jiggles in response.

“I’m Kettleburn,” Wormtail pipes up. His fake peg leg is not especially convincing.

“I’m our favourite professor, of course,” Moony says, patting his charmed hair, which is tied into a severe knot at the base of his neck. “Minerva McGonagall, at your service.”

“Excuse me, I do believe that I am our favourite professor,” Prongs protests from the bathroom, where he is no doubt fixing his wig. “Odd, loveable, ancient Dumbledore.”

“I can’t believe you were planning on asking Evans out in that costume,” Moony chuckles. Prongs shrugs.

“I think I’m going to wait ‘til tomorrow, like Padfoot suggested.” Moony and Padfoot subtly exchange a high five.

“So who do you think Emerald is, then?” Moony asks, waving his wand around haphazardly. His bed begins to shrink.

Prongs sighs. “I’m not sure. I think she’s in Slytherin, which would explain why I’ve never noticed her before, you know? We don’t talk to Slytherins much, but I’m sure some of them are okay. The non-Death Eaters, that is.” Wormtail trips, but nobody addresses the disturbance. “I think she’s a half-blood or something, not that it matters, but her sister definitely isn’t magical. And she’s dead smart. Surprised she’s not in Ravenclaw, actually.”

Padfoot smirks. “You’ll have to tell us all about it when you get back. Maybe we’ll have to break Feathers out to have a before and after.”

“Maybe.” Prongs shrugs. He begins to shrink his own bed. “Padfoot, you want to start putting the food and drinks out?”

“Yeah, seems like time.” Padfoot opens his trunk, and why am I even recording these mundane details? “Oh, I think we can put Feathers away for now, don’t you think?”

Prongs shrugs. “It’s your call.”

“Yeah, Feathers, we’ll set you up later again. Sweet dreams, buddy.”


7:34 PM, October 31st, 1977– Girls’ seventh year dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

We’re all getting ready for the party, but my costume is very low effort, so I’m ready to go early. I just put my hair in a bun and borrowed Des’s extra glasses and put them super low on my nose. I’m wearing a giant cardigan and super loose trousers, and I charmed my knitting bag to have this really ugly floral pattern. On the plus side, if I’m bored during the party, I can always work on my knitting, so that’s nice.

Oh, I nearly forgot to mention what happened this afternoon! I think it was the Marauders’ funniest prank they’ve ever pulled, but don’t tell them that. They somehow convinced the merpeople to do this elaborate dance with the Giant Squid!! I have no idea how they knew about the merpeople, or how they got them to do it, or any part of the orchestration, but I cried from laughter. It was incredible. Even McGonagall was impressed. I may have to ask James about it during the party.

Well, everyone’s ready to head over! Except for Bea, who’s getting Benedick from his Common Room now, but it’s go time.


OFFICIAL NOTES: MARAUDERS’ POST-HALLOWEEN LOWDOWN
as recorded by Feathers, the fifth member of the Marauders, who has recently become re-enchanted with the wonder of the world
setting: Boys’ Seventh Year Dorm, Gryffindor Tower, Hogwarts, Scotland, UK

“Don’t you think this is a bit premature?” Moony asks as Padfoot sets me down in the middle of the room.

“No way,” Padfoot disagrees. “I want to capture the exact moment that he gets back. It’s past one now, and there’s no way Evans would stay out much later on a school night. Can you get Feathers to use the weird, elaborate descriptions again?”

Moony taps me, murmuring. His charmed hair has unravelled from its bun, framing his face in a lovely way. His dark eyes dance with amusement as he reads my work. “I think Feathers is done with its existential crisis.”

“That’s wonderful! I wonder what did it.” Padfoot waves his wand in clean arc, casting some charm that makes all the garbage assemble in a pile in the corner of the room. Another swish has the garbage cleared into the bin.

Moony, meanwhile, is tapping their possessions with his wand, which are resuming their previous sizes. Each bed takes up a good chunk of the room, some more clean than others. Padfoot, surprisingly, makes his bed, but Prongs’s is a disaster. Wormtail is napping peaceably in the corner, his peg leg resting beside him.

“Do we want to still be in costume when he gets back or not?” Moony asks, frowning at his hair as he removes it from its wimpy bun. His blondeish, brownish hair glints in the dim light, attracting Padfoot’s gaze. “No costumes, right?”

Padfoot nods, tapping his own, charmed hair. It returns to its shiny black hue, lengthening and thickening, regaining the flowing waves that so define his aesthetic. He taps his enlarged stomach next, which regains its flat shape. Moony, meanwhile, has shortened his hair, the scars on his face illuminated briefly as he walks past the lamp.

The two quickly don their pyjamas, nondescript but comfortable-seeming. Moony resumes his former job of enlarging all their possessions as Padfoot lifts Wormtail into the latter’s bed. He snores gently, his chubby frame rising and falling like waves against a beach, or so I would imagine, having never seen a beach.

BOOM!

The door to the dorm is flung open, revealing a flustered Dumbledore/Prongs. His wig is around his neck, his fake beard over his shoulder, but his elaborate hat remains atop his head. His cheeks are flushed and a huge grin dominates his boyish face.

“Well?” Padfoot asks after a moment of expectant silence. Prongs sighs deeply, feelingly, romantically, before flopping down on his bed.

“She’s incredible,” Prongs declares, a love-struck expression fixed upon his face. Moony and Padfoot grin at each other before holding a silent conversation with their eyebrows. Finally Moony breaks the silence.

“Who was she?”

Prongs seems not to hear, his gaze fixed fully on some distant memory. Padfoot prods him and he jolts back to reality, his hazel eyes refocusing on the room he occupies. The red of his cheeks has not dissipated in the least, rendering his face almost classically Romantic in the contrast between his hair and cheeks. One can imagine a poem dedicated to such a face.

“You’ll never believe it,” Prongs replies, sighing once more in an almost overdramatic way. Oh, to be young and in love!

“I bet we can,” Padfoot challenges, a playful glint in his eyes. Prongs shakes his head vigorously. “Moony?”

Moony rolls his eyes despite the fond smile tugging at his chapped lips. He scratches the back of his head with a callused hand. He and Padfoot exchange another series of minute expressions, Prongs lying oblivious between them.

“Who was it, Prongs?” Moony finally asks, his face betraying nothing.

“Lily!” Prongs bursts out, his tone gleeful, wistful, and dancing in its happiness. “It’s Lily! Emerald is Lily! Lily Evans is Emerald!”

“Oh my gosh, really?!” Padfoot positively squeals, his voice becoming shrill as he flaps his hands around his face excitedly. Moony crinkles his eyes in warning but Prongs remains oblivious.

“Yes!” Prongs lifts a slender hand to run it through his unruly hair, leaving it messier than it began. “I can’t believe I ever thought she was a Slytherin. I’m still in shock.”

“So...what’d you talk about? You were gone for a while,” Padfoot notes, smiling fondly at his friend.

“Everything!” Prongs exclaims excitedly. “We talked about our history, how we didn’t realise we were talking to the other, what to do now...then I helped her cast a Patronus.”

Moony blinks in surprise, his forehead wrinkling in confusion. “What?”

“It would make sense if you’d been reading our letters.” Prongs lifts a shoulder in a half-shrug.

“You two are so weird,” Padfoot mutters, his hair flopping around majestically as he shakes his head.

“You asked her out, right?” Moony clarifies after a pensive silence falls on the room for a moment. Prongs’s lips twitch up into the same bright grin he’d had when he first entered the room.

“We’re going to Hogsmeade on Saturday,” Prongs replies. “It took me almost seven years, but Lily Evans is finally going out with me.”

“I’m not sure I thought I’d ever hear those words,” Padfoots murmurs. “Congratulations, man! I’m surprised that you’re not more talkative, but by your expression, I’m going to guess that I’m also quite thankful not to be hearing your thoughts right now.”

“I think he’s still processing it,” Moony comments. “He’ll probably be super annoying tomorrow.”

“Fair point,” Padfoot agrees. He turns towards my parchment and glances back at the spaced-out Prongs. “Feathers, you can stop for now.”


1:08 AM, November 1st, 1977– Girls’ dorm, etc. WHO CARES RIGHT NOW

RAVEN IS JAMES. JAMES IS RAVEN. POTTER IS RAVEN. RAVEN IS POTTER. JAMES POTTER.

I mean. Who saw that coming?

I’m going to bed now, because I’m going to get a lot less sleep than my adolescent body requires tonight, but tomorrow I will record every detail of tonight for posterity.

8:20 PM, November 1st, 1977– Girls’ dorm, etc.

I can’t stop smiling. Seriously, the muscles in my cheeks are actually in pain because I don’t normally smile this much. I don’t even know how to address everything that’s happened since yesterday afternoon. This has been the most insane twenty-four hours of my life.

I’m going to start out with the ending first: James asked me to Hogsmeade! We’re officially going out! It only took me...four? years to say yes, but we got there. I haven’t been on many dates in my time, but I am not nervous in the least. I just know that we fit together in the best way possible, and it’s insane that I was starting to fall for him in two different ways at the same time.

Yes, I’m finally going to admit it: I like James Potter. I knew that I liked Raven, and I thought that perhaps I liked James, but it was hard to get past our history. If there was ever a sign that I was meant to be with somebody, though, I think this whole crazy pen pal situation has definitely been that.

I know that future me will want to remember last night as clearly as possible, so I’m going to go through it now.

Scene: the top of the Astronomy Tower. Windy, but not too windy. Thousands of stars shine brightly down on the exposed, weathered stone.

Picture: me, dressed as a grandmother, sitting in the middle of the room. Because I’m Lily Evans, I have arrived fifteen minutes early, and so am happily (read: nervously) knitting my scarf.

Suddenly, footsteps echo up the staircase and I freeze. He’s coming. Who is it? My gaze is locked on the door.

Enter: James Potter, dressed in a ridiculous Dumbledore costume. We lock gazes, shock crossing our faces as a million thoughts race through our minds.

A full minute of silence passes as we stare at one another. Is it possible that we’re actually each other’s pen pals?

“Um, Evans...are you Emerald?” he finally asks, ruffling his hair with his quintessential move. I nod, wordlessly. “Emerald...why Emerald?”

I let out a breathless laugh at his question. “It’s really dumb, but I was so flustered when we had to come up with the names, and I just thought of how you once said that my eyes are like emeralds and it seemed fitting.”

He grins, looking surprised despite it. “I can’t believe you remember it. Well, as I’m sure you know, it made me think you were going to be in Slytherin.”

I laugh again. “Yes, that wasn’t my intention. Although your Raven was also something of a misdirection.”

“I didn’t mean it like that!” he protests, finally moving away from the door and walking over to me. He sits cautiously opposite me. “It’s kinda silly, but somebody told me that my hair is raven-colored, which sounds a lot nicer than black, so I thought of Raven then. I couldn’t exactly do Prongs, could I?”

I smile at him. “I suppose not. Well, we both accidentally fooled the other about our Houses, I guess. It never occurred to me that I could possibly get somebody else in Gryffindor for a inter-House Event.”

We smile at each other for a minute before I avert my gaze back up to the stars.

“This is absolutely mad,” James says. I look back at him and he’s grinning again. “I’m thinking about everything we’ve talked about, and I just can’t believe I didn’t realise it was you. It makes so much sense now. I guess we were kinda trying to keep it a secret...like I never mentioned that I play Quidditch, you know?”

“No, but I could tell.” He looks surprised. “I was always trying to read in between the lines, you know? And you talked about Quidditch all the time, but never mentioned actually playing or being on the team. I figured that if there was somebody that into Quidditch and they weren’t on the team, they would mention it.”

He blinks at me. “You were thinking about this way harder than I was.” He licks his lips and hesitates before plowing on. “How is it that we’ve known each other for over six years and didn’t even think about this? I honestly feel like a complete idiot.”

I purse my lips in thought. “I think there are a lot of reasons. Some of them are better than others. For example, your handwriting was much neater in the letters than in your notes, probably because you were trying harder to make it readable, not that you particularly succeeded. Neither of us expected it to be anyone in the same House. And we talked about things in a completely different way than we ever have before, you know? Like even on patrol, we’d never ask each other the crazy questions we did in the letters. We could talk to each other about whatever we wanted to, and we could be whoever. I think you’ve always seen me as somewhat uptight, which is why you’re always surprised when I like your jokes or pranks, but you didn’t have those expectations for Emerald, so you could find her ‘chill.’ We let go of our preconceived notions of the other.”

James stares at me, mouth slightly open. I didn’t mean to talk that much, but it just happened.

“You make a lot of sense,” he finally responds, nodding slowly. “I think we’ve also changed a lot over the years, and it’s hard to see that when you’ve been along for the ride. Like I never could have had a conversation this serious or mature two years ago, and you must hold that version of me in your head a bit.”

“You’re right,” I agree. A grin suddenly breaks across his face.

“So, Emmy–” It’s jolting to hear that nickname said aloud, casually, especially by him– “as my Official Love Guru, I need some advice.” I suppress the smile that threatens to creep onto my face and nod solemnly. “I’m really into this girl, and it turns out that she’s secretly been helping me win her over for the past two months. What do you think is the best way to her heart?”

I try not to panic at the sudden flirtiness of the conversation, but a sudden inspiration strikes me.

“Well, Rav-Rav–” James grins unabashedly at the nickname, but just about everything he does is unabashed. “–I would suggest that you should do something to show her that you really have gotten to know her, and that you’ve been paying attention to her.”

He sits, brow furrowed in thought, the moonlight illuminating his face. A grin begins to unfurl, and I’m taken aback.

“Lily, Emmy, Evans.” He pauses seriously and stares straight at me, sending goosebumps down my arms. “How would you like to try to cast a Patronus?”

James will never cease to surprise me. I stood up immediately, dropping my knitting bag on the floor beside me, and watched as he unfolded from his sitting position to tower above me.

“Think of something that fills you with happiness. Nothing but happiness, and love, and peace, and security. Focus solely on that memory, and not anything else. Not the incantation, or the wand movement. Just that memory.”

I frown, trying to empty my mind, before coming to a stop. “Show me yours first.”

He nods, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He smiles softly, murmurs the incantation, and suddenly a huge bright light erupts from the tip of his wand. A huge stag canters around the room, the light that composes it almost hurting my eyes in its intensity, before it comes to a stop beside me.

Satisfied, I close my eyes again and think. I think of my friends, of Georgie and Des and Bea and Remus, of my parents, of the magic of magic itself. I think of the joy of the first time I performed magic, or the first time I saw Hogwarts.

I think of the Sorting Hat whispering to me, “Ravenclaw, yes, you would fit in there. I am not sure you truly desire Slytherin for yourself. There is more to you, more loyalty and bravery and courage, and that is what will help you most. You will do best in GRYFFINDOR!”

And finally, I think of looking up from my knitting to find James standing at the other side of the room.

My Patronus is a doe.

James doesn’t say anything when I open my eyes, but his grin speaks volumes. We stare at each other for a long moment before I turn to my doe; my beautiful, powerful doe.

“Thanks,” I finally murmur, turning back to James. He nods, wordlessly, and I realise that he finally, truly likes me for me, for what he knows of me and what we have done together, and not for some inexplicable connection he feels because he thinks my hair is pretty.

Eventually I walk back over to my knitting back and let my doe fade away.

“It’s pretty late,” I tell him. “I know I was going for melodrama, but this is a bit much, you know? Not that either of us can really get in trouble for being out late...sleep is important, though, and I really think–”

“Lily, relax.” He smiles again at me. I feel like he is almost made of smiles at this point; smiles and grins and something unabashedly James. “We can head back.”

We walk back to the Common Room in quiet conversation, talking about the details from the letters that make sense now.

“Your description of Sirius makes me understand him a lot better.”

“I’ve never thought of how odd it must be to have a sister who so fundamentally doesn’t understand your life.”

“So I was actually the inspiration behind your prank today! I’m totally the one who told you about the merpeople.”

“Don’t think I’ll ever let you forget that I now know that you’re a huge fan of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, or that you think we’ll win the cup! I’m onto you, Evans.”

When we get back the Common Room, it’s empty. James had removed his wig and beard at some point, and his hand goes back through his hair nervously.

“So, Guru,” he finally says, staring intently into my eyes. “There’s this girl I really like. Do you think she’d say yes if I asked her to Hogsmeade? We don’t have the best history in that department...”

I grin. “I think that she would be lucky to go with you.”

We smile wordlessly at each other, like two teenage idiots who like each other are wont to do. Finally, I step forward and lean forwards, and we meet somewhere in the middle. It’s the best first kiss I’ve ever had.

(Fade out.)

Okay, I think that’s sufficient to jog my memory at a later date. Reading it back over, I’m really, really sorry about how sappy it got in the middle there. Like truly, deeply sorry. That’s disgusting. But I’m just a girl in deep like, you know? Gotta get it out somehow.

Today we smiled at each other and sat next to each other in class, and I can’t wait for Saturday. It feels like, after years of trying and trying, it’s finally all coming together, and the puzzle is almost complete.

Bea yelled obnoxiously loudly when I told her, and Des gave me a quiet hug. Georgie said she wasn’t surprised, and Remus looked like a proud father. I guess my friends approve of him, so that’s a good sign.

I have to go do some homework, because the past few days have been full of distractions.

I’m still not sure of everything– I still have no idea what I’m doing after graduation. The future is as murky as ever. But it’s starting to look like I have a few things to hold on to, like the inevitability of illegible handwriting staying in my life for a long while to come, and someday laughing about how the most romantic night of my life involved a boy dressed up as Albus Dumbledore.


Hey Emmy,

Long time, no write. It’s crazy that it’s already winter break, right? It feels like just yesterday we were getting on the Hogwarts Express in September. I miss you already, which is terrible and obnoxious because we just saw each other three days ago. I can’t wait for you to come over for dinner and meet my parents next week.

Sirius is being ridiculous about his scheme to buying a motorcycle. He’s planning to do it this break, and I can’t talk him out of it at all. He thinks it’ll make him cool, and I can’t convince him that nothing in the whole world could make him cool. That kid’s ego is out of control.

Yesterday, I went by Diagon Alley and I talked to the owner of Amanuensis Quills about Feathers. He was totally intrigued by it and wanted us to sell Feathers back for a pretty good profit, but it just feels wrong, you know? Especially because Feathers has just discovered Modernism and seems so into it. Anyway, I think Feathers appreciated being told that it’s one of a kind.

So...there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you, and I think that this is the appropriate way to do it, given our history. Basically...I love you. And I know it may sound fake given how much I used to say it, but now I know what it means. I could write you a sappy love letter, but I think we would both hate that, so I’m just going to leave it at that.

Now, for some questions, for old time’s sake: which Marauder (besides me) would you choose to be trapped on a deserted island with? What is your favourite book that you read in the year 1977? And...what’s the best thing that’s happened to you since you got home?

xoxo
Rav-Rav

Rav-Rav,

I was very pleased to receive your letter! It brings back a lot of memories, all of them good. I’m freaking out about meeting your parents, but I’m also starting to think it’ll go pretty well. As you once told me, your parents are “supportive and elderly,” and I think that at heart, I am also supportive and elderly. Sounds like a match made in heaven, no?

Tell Sirius that chicks dig motorcycles, but that Remus may be more skeptical of it. Let me know how he responds to that.

I would love to bring Feathers in and talk to the owner more about it! How does Feathers read?? How does Feathers process what it’s reading?? How does Feathers do anything? As you can probably tell, Feathers continues to intrigue and confuse me. Modernism may be a dangerous subject for Feathers to investigate– we don’t want our Heads’ notes to turn into Joyce, you know? I want to be able to read and understand it!

I think this is the perfect time to tell you something: I love you, too, and this was a great way of communicating that information. I think we used up all of our sappiness on our first night together, so this works much better for me. Kudos, man. Please never write me a sappy love letter or I would think you’d gone mad.

On a deserted island, I would totally pick Remus. What kind of a question is that? Sirius and I would go crazy together, and Peter would be thoroughly overwhelmed by the situation. It would start to get hairy if we were trapped there for too long, though. (wink wink– see what I did there? I’m hilarious. You have a hilarious girlfriend.)

The best book I read this year has to be The Silmarillion by JRR Tolkien. I’ve talked to you about Lord of the Rings before, right? As much as I’m interested in that, The Silmarillion is that times a million. Mythology, true love, timeless heroism– it’s totally captivating and wonderful. You’d probably like The Hobbit better, though.

And finally...the best thing that’s happened to me this break was when Petunia actually talked to me at dinner my first night back. She told me about her new boyfriend, and she asked me about school, and she didn’t even wrinkle her nose in disgust once. Hey, I’ll take what I can get!

For you, good sir: what is the funniest thing that’s ever happened to you and Sirius? What’re you hoping to get for Christmas from somebody other than your wonderful girlfriend? And if you were to acquire a home-knit good, would you prefer a scarf, jumper, or blanket?

xoxo
Emmy

Notes:

I'd love to know what you make of it! I had fun writing it and I know it's pretty absurd but isn't that part of the magic? Thanks for reading!!