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Soobin swears their last comeback was only a few weeks ago. He swears he only just dyed his hair from blonde back to black, and he swears it's only just become the start of the new year - there’s no way it can be April yet.
But his schedules remind him otherwise.
Their break was helpful, at least, in grounding the entire group back into a state of permanence surrounding their future goals. It’s no secret that they get restless after a while of nothingness, rest periods only reminding them of how diligently they’ve worked so far, and how they wish to continue that far into the future. Soobin wouldn’t call himself restless, exactly - it’s more of a mental desire to prove something, and if nobody else sees it, it doesn’t matter. His self-satisfaction has been, and will always be, one of his biggest driving forces.
…except when he’s with Beomgyu. He’s found, over his many years of living with the younger, that Beomgyu unapologetically tears down all of his built-up philosophies, turning him into something pathetic and infantile: a follower, a receiver - lazy, if you will.
And he’s so fucking weak to it that it drives him insane.
It’s the little things. Soobin will plan his day off meticulously to make the most out of his time, and then Beomgyu will turn around with a “hyung, movie night?” or a “Soobin, stay home for once,” and suddenly he no longer has plans, and he’s doubling the calories he planned to burn off while sat next to an overtly relaxed Beomgyu feeding him popcorn.
Still, comeback preparations have never left room for slacking off, so whatever spell the younger puts on Soobin becomes redundant, with difficulty. Soobin simply doesn’t have the time to appease his roommate’s loneliness.
D-4 is plastered on the whiteboard in the practice room.
Four days until judgment.
Four days until insomnia.
Four days until ecstasy.
Through the suffering of a comeback, joy and elation will always linger. There’s simply nothing better than showing yourself off on music show stages.
“Taehyun-ah,” Yeonjun yells over the music. “Watch your positioning.”
“Got it,” Taehyun replies.
Soobin studies his own form in the mirror. Between now and the start of learning the new choreography, it’s been moderately surprising how well everyone is doing. Their last album was hell and horror and everything in between to prepare for, and even though this one has been on more of a time crunch, Yeonjun and Taehyun’s criticisms have been at a minimum. Just plain stuff like posture and timing have cropped up.
“I’m hungry,” Beomgyu whines during a water break.
Kai shakes his head, placing a fist to his chest in mock-determination. “Food is for the weak!”
“Yet, you’re still weak,” Taehyun chimes from the floor, stretching in a squat.
“Heyyy~”
Ignoring the others, Soobin watches with a tense jaw as Yeonjun marks up a particularly difficult piece of choreography. There’s time, they all know it; four days is a lot considering how much work each day consists of. But Yeonjun has never been beside himself to ignore that. He’s trying too hard.
So Soobin makes an executive decision, one of which may make the eldest refuse to talk to him the rest of the evening, but he doesn’t really care.
“Let’s call it,” he says.
Yeonjun turns around unreasonably fast, eyes widening. “What?”
“I said let’s call it,” Soobin repeats, like the reason is obvious. “We’ve done enough today. We have three full days to focus on touch-ups. Rest should be a priority at this stage.”
“Are you stupid?” Yeonjun cries. “Three days is nothing!”
A decade, almost, with these boys. And Soobin has learnt, rather begrudgingly, not to take Yeonjun’s grumpy attitude to heart. “Do you want to burn out before our first music show?”
“There’s a difference between burning out and being lazy,” Yeonjun argues.
A chuckle sounds from the corner of the room, and Soobin looks over to see Beomgyu taking a quick swig out of his water bottle.
“You should see Soobin-hyung lazy,” Beomgyu muses after swallowing. “This is nowhere near-”
“I’ve called it,” Soobin ignores him, walking towards the sofa to grab his coat before turning back to a pouting Yeonjun. “Go home, hyung.”
No movement follows, just a stronger pout.
How is this guy gonna survive the military? Soobin groans internally.
Taehyun stands from his squat, and Soobin could actually cry from satisfaction as the younger says something low to Yeonjun that finally convinces him to move. The eldest brushes invisible dust from his joggers before miserably walking towards the door, muttering some nonsense about an early morning practice which isn’t on their schedule and, as long as Soobin has any power, won’t be added.
The others stroll out eventually, also muttering empty goodbyes. It’s been a long ass day, Soobin’s legs remind him of that, and he zips his coat to the top to avoid any of the late-night spring chill that might have infested the corridor.
“And then there were two,” a rather dramatic voice says from the corner.
“How much water are you even drinking?” Soobin says judgmentally, fiddling with his zip.
“Ten litres a day keeps the doctor away,” Beomgyu remarks as he walks towards Soobin and grabs his own coat from the sofa, sliding it on smoothly.
Soobin cocks an eyebrow. “Ten litres a day calls the doctor, moron.”
“Potaytoh, potahto.”
“Come on,” he pushes him forward towards the door before flicking the practice room lights off. “Early night.”
They were not getting an early night.
Not with the time Beomgyu was spending in the shower, probably running their water bill dry. Soobin has never been one to bang on the door to rush the younger, but god, he was hoping to be in bed by now, scrolling on his phone, or picking up a book to consider reading before ultimately giving up and going back to said phone.
He doesn't even need a shower himself; he just wants to brush his teeth, which might well be the most annoying part.
After what must’ve been a century, Soobin hears the shower turn off, and he shoots to his feet, pressing his ear to the door and listening for the familiar pad of feet on the ground, and the soft rustling of fabric against skin.
“I’m coming in,” he announces tiredly.
“Roger.”
Praying to every god that Beomgyu is dressed, he opens the door, and he exhales a little, seeing the familiar clad of joggers and a loose t-shirt on his roommate.
“What the hell were you doing in here?” Soobin groans, walking towards the sink. “Napping?”
“Sorry for being hygienic,” Beomgyu quips, shimmying himself next to Soobin and grabbing his own toothbrush.
The mirror, slightly fogged, shows them both rather unflatteringly, with Soobin looking grumpy and Beomgyu being nothing less than wet. His hair drips slightly down his temple, where he hasn’t even made an attempt to dry it other than with a towel.
And he complains about headaches, thinks Soobin. Typical.
It is funny, though. It’s only really moments like these, Beomgyu looking so bare and vulnerable, that Soobin gets to recognise the sheer physical difference between their builds. While Beomgyu has grown in recent years, he’ll always be shorter, and Soobin will abuse that fact until the day Beomgyu grows an extra foot.
“Can you reach the moisturiser?” Soobin teases after he spits.
Beomgyu’s eyebrows tighten in the mirror. “Of course I can.”
“Never give up, Beomgyu-ah.”
“Shut up!” He elbows him in the side gently.
“Vertically challenged people have souls too.”
“Do you want to die?”
“You’re just-” he mumbles, mouth filling as he puts his toothbrush back in his mouth.
“I’m what!?” Beomgyu barks before copying his actions.
Soobin spits.
Looks back up.
Beomgyu’s ears are red - riled up.
“You’re just so damn short,” Soobin says, staring at him with a grin in the bathroom mirror.
Beomgyu whines in protest, mouth still filled with toothpaste. He spits sooner than he should, white marinating at the corner of his lips.
“Well,” he looks up as well. “Put some inches in me, then.”
Soobin freezes.
Beomgyu, realising what he just said, freezes too.
“...what?” Soobin whispers, his hand dropping down from his mouth to his side.
“...”
“...”
“...nothing.”
Before Soobin can even react, Beomgyu is quickly, tensely, speed walking out of the bathroom and down the hallway to his bedroom. He hears a door open, close, and then he’s left alone in a minty state of silence in a steamed-up bathroom.
Put some inches in me, then.
Put some-
Inch-
“What the fuck,” Soobin mutters, turning and almost sprinting down the hallway.
If it were a joke, Beomgyu wouldn’t have run. He knows that much, anyway.
“Beomgyu-ah,” Soobin says bitterly as he reaches Beomgyu’s room. “Open the door.”
“No.”
“Open the door, Beomgyu.”
Clearly, Beomgyu isn’t in the mood to argue, as the door in front of Soobin opens slowly, then more roughly as Beomgyu replaces his grip with two devastated hands covering his face.
“Ignore me!” Beomgyu cries dramatically. “If I were a girl, I’d be ovulating right now!”
“What-” Soobin gapes. “What the hell does that even mean!?”
“I don’t know!” Beomgyu literally bellows into his hands.
Soobin, lost, steps forward and grabs his wrists, pulling them away. “You just washed your face, don’t make it dirty-”
“Wha- my face?” Beomgyu chokes. “I just asked you to fuck me, and you’re worried about my face?”
“You- what?!” Soobin’s grip unconsciously tightens on Beomgyu’s wrists. “You actually want me to have sex with you?!”
It’s so obvious Beomgyu is trying to avoid contact, looking at their hands instead. Soobin, in contrast, is staring directly at Beomgyu’s iris.
“Well, don’t say it that bluntly,” Beomgyu groans, closing his eyes and tipping his head back.
“You said it even more bluntly!” Soobin yells. “Beomgyu, have you lost your mind?!”
“No!” His eyes shoot open again, and Soobin physically flinches. “No, hyung. You listen to me! You can’t keep courting me like this and not expect me to get somewhat riled up about it. How strong do you think I am? I’ve been holding myself back recently!”
“Courting you?”
A look of devastation spreads across Beomgyu’s face. “Is that- Is that not what you’ve been doing? Trying to get with me?”
“Well, not knowingly, no!” Soobin shakes his head incredulously.
“Oh.”
“I’m sorry if I made you feel that way, Gyu-ah.”
“So you don’t-” Beomgyu’s eyes finally meet his own. “You don’t like me?”
There.
There it is.
A prime example of Beomgyu’s learned 'wall-breaking'.
Soobin feels his skin physically melting under Beomgyu’s glare, burning, scarring, tearing him apart. Of course, he likes Beomgyu. He'd be insane not to. But his mind is filled with logistics and probabilities, and he just doesn't know how something like this could work.
“Beomgyu-”
“If I asked you now, hyung.” His eyes gloss slightly. “If I asked you now. Would you want me?”
Yes. Yes. Yes. “Beomgyu, seriously, we can’t-”
Beomgyu surges forward, uncaring, and Soobin feels the emotion all at once as warm lips crash into his, minty and sweet, immediately moving against his own.
His instincts tell him no. They tell him this is wrong - so very wrong. Two members of the same group, let alone a boyband, having sexual relations is the most scandalous thing he can think of. He’s still holding Beomgyu’s wrists, and for a second, he really considers pushing him away and sprinting out of the room like he’s just seen a ghost.
But he can’t.
He really, really can’t.
Because god, god, he wants this.
So he takes it.
Beomgyu’s tongue invades his mouth, and he melts into it, not even realising how far into the room they’ve stumbled until knees hit the side of the mattress and Soobin finds himself falling on top of the younger, both pulling themselves up into a stable position without breaking the kiss. His teeth pull at Beomgyu’s bottom lip, and Beomgyu moans, the sound sending bliss right through Soobin’s body to the point of no return.
“Shirt,” Beomgyu whispers. “Off.”
“Roger,” Soobin echoes Beomgyu’s words from before, sitting up and straddling Beomgyu’s waist as he reaches for the hem of his shirt.
“Don’t bring that man into our bed!” Beomgyu muses.
“Shut up,” Soobin huffs, pulling his shirt off. Beomgyu immediately reaches out like an excited puppy, grabbing at the newly exposed skin. “Careful!”
“I’ve been waiting years for this, hyung, sorry if I’m a little starved.”
Beomgyu reaches for his own shirt, pulling it off, and Soobin pouts because he wanted to do that. A grin spreads across Beomgyu’s face, and Soobin pauses for a moment to take him in; hair spread across the pillow, chest bare, lips swollen and wet with Soobin’s own doing. He mentally slaps his past self for almost rejecting this.
The pause causes upset in Beomgyu, who reaches forward for Soobin’s neck and forcefully pulls him down in an attempt to get some action started. It works, as Soobin, face-to-face with Beomgyu’s nipples, physically cannot restrain the last pieces of dignity he has left. The moment he circles one with his tongue, taking it into his mouth and tasting the sweet yet salty flavour of Beomgyu’s skin, he melts. Beomgyu’s back arches off the bed with a whine, and Soobin realises he could die here.
Wholeheartedly, he could die here.
“Fuck me,” Beomgyu begs, head tilted back so far his view is practically just of the headboard. “Fuck me, hyung. Please, please-”
“Be patient,” Soobin whispers into his chest. The vibration causes a little ahh from the younger. “I can’t hurt you.”
“I’ll survive the comeback.”
“I don’t care about the damn comeback, Beomgyu-ah,” Soobin chuckles. “Just relax, it’s only you and me.”
Beomgyu seems to accept that as he raises his hips in indication for Beomgyu to pull down his joggers. Soobin does, extremely willingly, mildly mortified when he notices Beomgyu is wearing no boxers and hasn’t been the entire time since he got out of the shower. Beomgyu's cock is no surprise to him; he’s seen it all before in their platonic shared showers and accidental moments of lazy privacy, but hard? Oh, that was new.
Soobin half wishes that he were the obvious bottom here.
He doesn’t quite know what to do next. There’s no available equipment for preparing Beomgyu, so he chooses to just stare as the younger slowly spreads his legs, fully presenting himself to him. If he didn’t know any better, his desperation could easily be mistaken for an animalistic heat.
Beomgyu notices. Of course he does. His hand reaches towards the bedside table, opening it and blindly fanning until he grips a small bottle of lube. He throws it gently, watching it hit Soobin’s chest and roll into the space in between them.
“Thanks,” Soobin says, genuinely.
Beomgyu grins. “My pleasure.”
Soobin opens the bottle, pouring the cold gel onto his fingers and murmuring a little, are you sure? To which Beomgyu replies, fuck, yes. Soobin hasn’t done this before, really. At least, not with a guy. He’s watched things and read content that likely is guiding him on the right path, so he takes a deep breath before guiding one of his gelled fingers towards Beomgyu’s hole, circling it.
“Oh my god,” Beomgyu throws an arm over his face. “Hurry. Hurry, please- holy shit!”
Soobin pushes his index finger inside.
Loose.
“Holy fuck, hyung- another- another-”
“I barely have this one in, Gyu, Jesus Christ-”
“I already opened myself up in the shower, you mother fucker!” Beomgyu practically screams.
“Oh,” Soobin pulls his finger out. “So that’s why you took that long.”
“I had a goal,” Beomgyu squirms. “And I’m yet to achieve it.”
Soobin rolls his eyes, standing up from the bed for a moment to pull his joggers down. Beomgyu’s eyes light up like stars at the sight of his cock, and Soobin becomes unintentionally shy. He’s committed to this. Sex means being naked. Sex means vulnerability - he knows. But why does Beomgyu have to look at me like that?!
Soobin crawls back on the bed.
“Finally!” Beomgyu cries.
“You want my inches?” Soobin mutters low.
Beomgyu’s eyes widen. “Holy shit, hyung, don’t say that-”
“That’s what you asked for, right?” Soobin crawls in between Beomgyu’s legs, spreading them wider. “That’s what you caused a scene about. Inches.”
“Yes, yes. God-”
“Swear to me, Beomgyu.” Soobin stares down at him. “Swear to me you won’t regret this tomorrow.”
“Soobin-”
“Swear to me,” he echoes. “Because I don’t think I could ever regret this.”
“I would never,” Beomgyu says honestly. “I don’t think I physically could either.”
“Okay,” Soobin lines up to Beomgyu’s entrance, watching veins pop from the younger’s neck. “You can have me.”
And he pushes in, tantalisingly slow, but Beomgyu lets out the loudest moan as a consequence, instinctively rutting his hips into it to speed up the process. It doesn’t take long for Soobin to bottom out - Beomgyu really did open himself up in the shower. And he just kneels there, inside Beomgyu, taking the sight in once more.
He watches Beomgyu mouth a silent please, and Soobin loses himself all over again. He leans forward, bracing his elbows on either side of Beomgyu’s head, the new position causing them both to let out a heavy groan.
And then he moves.
Slowly, at first. In and out, a piston rhythm that increases in speed with more of Beomgyu’s begs: Harder, hyung! Harder! Faster! And who is Soobin to deny him?
In no time, Beomgyu is screaming with each thrust, dragging nails down Soobin’s back that will undoubtedly show the next day. Soobin sucks marks into Beomgyu’s smooth neck in response. He doesn’t care about schedules. He doesn’t care about judgment. Not when Beomgyu is below him like this - all his. They’re so wrapped up in one another’s simple presence, their feeling, that the dirty talk Soobin attempted to initiate in the foreplay completely dissipates.
Their language regresses into begging. Fuck. Please. God. Harder.
Until Beomgyu drops a line that changes Soobin’s vision from oh my god, I’m fucking Beomgyu, into one of Holy shit, finally.
“I love you, hyung,” Beomgyu admits as he pants into his neck.
Soobin’s thrusts pause momentarily, taking that in, before continuing at an even quicker pace.
“I love you, I love you, I love you!” Beomgyu cries with each press. “I love you- so much-”
Their whines almost match in volume as time passes, and Soobin realises this is it: he’ll never be able to fuck anyone else ever again. He’ll never be able to imagine anyone else while jerking off. He’ll never be able to fantasise about anyone else.
Beomgyu has fucking ruined him.
His core tightens.
“I’m gonna come,” Soobin whimpers.
Beomgyu nods into his neck, moans continuing. Soobin didn’t even realise how Beomgyu came long ago, cock untouched, but the white covering his bare stomach proves the fact empirically.
“I didn’t-” Soobin tries to breathe. “I didn’t wear a condom, Beomgyu-ah.”
“I’m not gonna get- fucking- pregnant, hyung-” he gasps in between moans.
“I’m not worried about that- oh fuck, I’m coming-”
“You’re clean?” Beomgyu tilts his head back.
Soobin makes a noise of affirmation that’s more of a broken moan.
“So am I. Doesn't matter now,” Beomgyu bites at Soobin’s shoulder momentarily. “Come in me, hyung.”
And he does. They both groan deeply at the feeling, Soobin of filling Beomgyu, and Beomgyu of being filled. Soobin allows a few more thrusts, making sure he’s done, before bottoming out a final time, flattening himself on top of Beomgyu completely, still buried deeply inside.
Sweat drips off both their bodies, their hair and backs and shoulders. Beomgyu’s head, already wet from the shower, has left a patch of damp on his pillow, but neither of them cares, considering there’s undoubtedly cum dripping out of Beomgyu’s ass right now, staining the sheets.
Beomgyu giggles, tilting his head up for another kiss. Soobin accepts, too exhausted to make much of a move. He lets Beomgyu take charge.
“Early night, huh?” Beomgyu teases as he pulls away.
“Oh, shush,” Soobin buries his face into Beomgyu’s shoulder. “Do you feel okay?”
“Hyung,” Beomgyu says, voice more serious. Soobin looks up, worried. “You did great.”
“Hm,” Soobin smiles with pride, face finding Beomgyu’s shoulder again.
“Look at you, Mr Lazy. Imagine if Yeonjun-hyung saw you now.”
“Shut up,” Soobin mumbles, shifting his hips in punishment, making Beomgyu squeal.
Lazy is okay, Soobin realises.
…
Lazy is okay, if this is what lazy means.
…
…
Maybe I should try be lazy more often.