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“141 sheep, 142 sheep, 143 sheep…. Ugh I thought the articles said I would be sleep before I even reach 50!”, Itadori lays awake in bed, staring at the ceiling.
It’s another one of those nights for Itadori. Those sleepless nights where his brain won’t even give him a minute of peace and quiet. On nights like this, he is often plagued by the thoughts of his guilt. He spends hours just laying in his bed, in his pitch black room, staring at the ceiling, thinking of all the destruction and despair Sukuna has caused, and Itadori is nothing but an accomplice in all-
Itadori brings his hands to his face with a clap, “NOPE, cut it out Yuji, we can’t keep thinking like this! Fushiguro would be so mad at me if he knew what I was saying to myself!”. That’s when Itadori gets a little curious, “What are the odds Fushiguro is awake at this hour”, Itadori reaches for his phone, sending him a text, fully not expecting him to respond.
“Okay, okay, okay, Be cool, be cool, you got this Itadori, you hang out with Fushiguro in his room all the time, just not at night, in a dark room-“, Itadori shakes his head, attempting to calm himself down as he stands stiffly at Fushiguro’s door preparing himself to knock. Just as Itadori finally works up the courage, he lifts his fist up to the door-
The door opens slowly with a creak, Fushiguro looks the pink haired boy up and down, and laughs, “Are you okay weirdo, why are you just standing out here talking to yourself?”.
Even though Itadori should’ve been embarrassed to get caught giving himself a pep talk, instead, he walks in Fushiguro’s room with a huge smile and notes that Fushiguro actually laughed for once, and it was because of him. Suddenly, it’s starting to feel like a better night already.
Itadori takes a seat on the floor, leaning against Fushiguro’s bed, “Sooo what’s keeping you up so late? I didn’t actually expect you to respond, you don’t seem like the type to really stay up late.”
Fushiguro takes a seat on his bed, “Idiot, why are you sitting on the floor like a stranger? But Honestly, this is how most of my nights go, I’m usually laying down by 8pm, and then try and do some reading until 9pm, I fall asleep, and then I have the same dream every night that wakes me up around 3am, and here we are.”
Itadori stands up, taking a seat on the edge of Fushiguro’s bed, “Ever since everything went down in Shibuya….I haven’t been able to sleep most nights.” Itadori lets out a shaky sigh, putting his head down in shame, “I just…I know, you always tell me not to blame myself, and that it’s not my fault, but who else is to blame! I’m the one being used as a vessel, I really just think at this point, it’s safer to forget about getting all the fingers and just get the execution over with so people won’t keep dying because of me.”
Itadori shuts his eyes tight, waiting for Fushiguro to scold him like he usually does when he gets like this, or insist that they’re in this together. Instead Fushiguro quietly shuffles closer to the pink haired boy, and puts his arm around Itadori, pulling him into his embrace. Itadori’s eyes widen, and he finally breaks, quietly sobbing into Fushiguro’s shoulder, pulling him impossibly closer.
Fushiguro falls back on his bed, stroking itadori’s hair, holding him even tighter this time. As they lay there, all Fushiguro can think about is how he wishes he could take this pain away from someone as heroic and selfless and Itadori Yuji.
When the quiet sobs stop, and the room becomes silent, Fushiguro finally speaks. “Listen, I may not be able to understand, but I want you to always remember that I am always willing to carry this burden with you, and I know I say this to you all the time, but I’m not doing this out of pity Itadori, I need you to start confiding in me, please. You don’t have to go to Kugisaki, or even Gojo, in fact, I don’t want you to go to them, I want you to come to me. I’m sorry if my scolding has ever made you feel as if you can’t come to me, but that is never the case. Itadori, promise me that whenever you feel this way, you won’t go through this alone. I really do mean it when I tell you this is our burden to carry, no matter what.
Itadori looks up at Fushiguro with watery eyes, and tear stained cheeks, “Aw man Fushiguro, you always know just what to say to get my mind off of all of this.” Itadori yawns, “I wish it was like this every night, I just feel like I’ll be right back to the start tomorrow night, you know?”
Fushiguro scoffs, pulling the covers over them, and closing his eyes, “We can do this for as long as you need, even if it’s forever, now go to sleep idiot.”