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It was a warm day in the Dales but the usually inviting farmhouse of the Alderson clan was filled with an air of anxious tension; although they were here to celebrate Jenny’s upcoming adventure to London for nursing college, all members of the party were on edge due to the unknowns that come about with big changes.
"It'll be fine, stop mitherin' and eat some more cake." Jenny practically rolled her eyes and then looked up at Helen through her eyelashes. Helen couldn't help but see the headstrong eleven year old she had raised since their mother passed away.
"I'm worried about ya.” Helen expressed, a slight waver giving away the deep truth of her statement .
"You don't need ta be."
All members of the party aside from little Rosie who had just rubbed a frosting covered hand on Audrey's sweater while grinning from ear to ear, shuffled in their seats to dispel the heat of the anxiety rising around the table. Much to everyone’s relief, Helen finally broke the long silence that followed Jenny’s closing argument.
"Someone should go and check up on the ‘orses. Excuse me." Although James could sense she wanted to run from the room she kept her composure and left on tipped toes.
The remaining group looked around at one another letting silence seep in through Helen’s empty seat at the table once again. Jenny smiled nervously and cleared her throat, speaking with a forced sense of happiness.
"Well, er, thank you all for coming today. I think I better get on with some chores, but I truly appreciate you taking the time to celebrate with me.” She rose to leave as she spoke, setting her napkin in front of her and giving her father a desperate glance to grant her permission to leave the table. A habit that remained with her from childhood. Richard nodded to her sympathetically and her face fell to a deep frown revealing her true feelings, as she too fled from the table.
James smiled anxiously and squeezed Jimmy's shoulder using him as both a distraction and security blanket.
"Jimmy lad, why don't you run along upstairs and check on your tadpoles, I bet they grew bigger than you while we were eating.” Jimmy hopped up, almost losing his balance in the excitement to race and see the cluster of dark slimy creatures swimming around in jars on his desk.
"Okay! But they are baby frogs da' there is no way they are going to get bigger than me..." he shook his head as if his father, the veterinarian, had no idea what he was talking about. James chuckled, and watched a little nervously at how quickly his son climbed the stairs.
"I am sorry about all this.” He gestured to the door the sisters had just parted from. "I think some of us may be having a harder time with Jenny's decision than others.” He looked sheepishly at Richard who seemed to be very interested in something on the stone floor beneath him.
"That's all right, love." Mrs. Hall's understanding and warm timbre was similar to the sunlight streaming in from the open window above the sink, bringing light to the dark stone kitchen."As exciting as this time is, it is always ‘ard to leave the comforts of home." She picked up Rosie as she said this and moved towards the sink to wash her frosting covered cheeks. Siegfried, who had not spoken since Richard asked him what he would do when Audrey went back to Sunderland decided he needed a distraction from all this talk of "leaving home" and "questionable decisions" grabbed two dirty plates and stacked them together.
"Let me help you get this cleared up, Richard." Siegfried’s voice seemed to bring the forlorn farmer back to the reality of the moment and he gave him a grateful nod, any animosity from earlier in the tea was gone.
"No, no, I am sure you and Audrey have plenty to do back at Skeldale.” He slammed his napkin on the table a bit too forcefully to propel himself into action and turned to James- "James go check in on the stables and see if anything needs doin', I will keep an eye on this little love and start clearin’ up. “He held his arms up to accept a now clean Rosie from Audrey who smiled and lovingly patted the toddler’s cheek before waving goodbye to her goddaughter.
After the rest of the thank yous and goodbyes were exchanged and Jimmy made sure everyone was rest assured that the tadpoles were still the same size rather loudly from the top of the stairs. Siegfried and Audrey followed James out the front of the farmhouse. Audrey stepped beside James and squeezed his arm supportively.
"They are going to be alright, James, this is a good thing, you'll see.” She smiled encouragingly and Siegfried nodded in solidarity, a little wary of adding his two sense, since having some literally knocked into him by her shoe earlier.
The pair broke off from James and Siegfried stepped ahead to open the passenger door of the shining green rover for Audrey before rounding the vehicle and getting in himself, starting the motor with a mechanical hum.
Once they rounded the bend leading away from the farmhouse Audrey looked pensively at Siegfried and crossed her arms.
"Alright, out with it." Her voice was stern with a touch of amusement hanging on the end of her statement. Siegfried's eyes widened in shock.
"Mrs.Hall, I have no idea what you are talking about."
She chucked slightly, "Siegfried Donald Farnon, you and I may have been apart as of late but I know you like the back of me hand. Somethin' is botherin' you.” She nodded as if she was confirming the statement for him. Siegfried seemed flustered and stammered.
"I, I just hope that Helen and Jenny don't have a row about this new nursing venture in London ." He said a bit too defensively and strained to see something far down the lane refusing to look at her. Audrey studied him and nodded once again before uttering definitively.
"Siegfried, stop the car.”
Following what seemed like an age for Siegfried to register what she had just demanded. He accepted the command and pulled the car over to the side of the road in a slightly muddy but beautiful area on a large hill overlooking the vast countryside. Once he cut the engine, Audrey opened the door and marched to the front of the rover leaning against the front passenger side of the vehicle. Siegfried sat in the driver's seat for a moment longer in stunned silence until he too opened the door and joined her near the front of the vehicle leaning against the same side about a foot away from her. Audrey threw up her hands in exasperation and gave him a sideways glance.
"Siegfried." She began, there it was again, his face twisted into a questioning frown at the third use of his Christian name. "I am miffed with ye'." she crossed her arms and Siegfried chuckled nervously and threw up his arms in mock surrender.
"Well that is nothing new, what have I done now?" she didn't return his laughter.
"Just the other day I were miffed at you about the whole Beauvoir situation. You shut me out, made me feel like a stranger. Now here you are again giving me the cold shoulder.”
“I truly don’t know what you mean.” He lied. “I feel for Jenny and Helen is all.” he shook his head. “I know what it is like to be a surrogate parent to a sibling and the pain of them leaving home.”
“I know you are worried about Tris when he’s away.” Audrey’s voice got gentle with this statement. “But it’s more than that, even when Tris is home you seem..” She cut herself off not wanting to say the wrong thing.
“Seem what, Mrs.Hall?” He inquired, a touch of sadness edging into his voice.
“You just don’t seem like yourself..” She sighed. “Ever since I mentioned going back to Sunderland for Mary’s Birthday you have been acting strangely.” “I need you to tell me if there is something botherin’ you.” I, I mi…” She cut herself off and shook her head. “I can’t read your mind but I know when somthin’ innt right.” She exhaled, frustrated, and began to fidget nervously with her hands in her lap. Siegfried nodded slowly, taking some time before turning to face her and replied.
“I think I owe you an apology, Audrey.” Her eyes lit up with shock at the sound of her name on his lips, the veil of formality falling completely now between them. He shook his head. “I have been a fool.” “A darn fool”. He rested the hand closest to her at his side as close to hers as he dared without actually holding it. “Honestly, I feel like Helen in more ways than I care to admit.” He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his loosening curls.
“Like you said about worryin’ about Tris?” “Like your baby bird is about to fly the nest?” She asked very confused at where he was going with this apology at this point. Siegfried did take her hand lightly then and spoke with calculated precision.
“No, like I am about to lose my best friend”. He looked down at the ground again, the weight of his words falling with his gaze.
“Oh, Siegfried.” was all Audrey could manage to respond at first as she squeezed his hand while tears gathered in her eyes. They sat in silence, hand in hand, both trying to decide what to say next. “I know it has been ‘ard on you..” “These past few years, with Tris and the ‘arriots moving away.” She deflected his pointed statement to the group again but Siegfried wasn’t having it this time. He shook his head and looked into her eyes again.
“Audrey.” His breathing quickened. “It’s been hard on me without you these past few years.” Audrey felt her knees weaken slightly and an uncomfortable flutter started in her chest. She brought their joined hands closer to her as if to steady herself.
“Well you need to ‘ear me and believe that you are not going to lose me again, alright?” she smiled, staring deep into his eyes pleading with him to believe her before tapping their joined hands lightly against her leg as a judge would use a gavel to declare the verdict. A large tractor motored past interrupting their reverie and breaking their hands apart.
“Yes, er, well, good.” Siegfried stammered “We are on the same page then, Audrey?” He smiled a deep smile, one that he saved just for her that she had missed dearly.
“Yes, Siegfried, I think perhaps for the first time in a long while we are.” She smiled back and he felt whole for the first time in a triennium.
They sat in companionable silence for a few moments longer fully realizing what had just transpired before Audrey’s eyebrows twitched mischievously. “Now what was it that you were sayin’ earlier about the blue lagoon?” “Friends tell each other stories like this, you know.” He looked sideways at her sheepishly.
While they both laughed, he put an arm around her shoulders drawing her closer to him.They watched the sun get lower in the sky making up for lost time in no rush to return to formal names and lines drawn in the sand.