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Yeonjun and Beomgyu join the queue in a stumbling fit of giggles.

"You seriously didn't join us on this one because, what… you were scared of me?" Beomgyu manages, bending over with laughter.

"I thought you'd catch on!" Yeonjun snaps, but he's smiling. How could he not?

"Onto what? I thought you'd switched personalities… again… for April Fools!"

"Switched — Oh my god," he hides his face with one hand, feeling his cheeks begin to burn, the other still linked with Beomgyu's.

"Idiot," Beomgyu straightens up, flicks his forehead. "What did you think I'd think?"

"I don't know." Yeonjun huffs. "What's this ride?" he asks in an attempt to change the subject.

Beomgyu raises a dainty eyebrow, clearly catching on, but doesn't call him out. "It's called The Rage," he explains. "It's the second most fun one here. I know you're weak at this stuff, because, like, you're old and hate fun, but…"

"I am not old!?"

"You're a year off half-fifty. What are you on?"

"You are one year younger than—"

Yeonjun stops. One of the two men in front of them has just ran off with a dimpled smile and a cute salute, leaving the other — his partner? looks like it — red and staring after him. Which happens to be staring in their direction. He feels a sudden rush of awareness as Beomgyu's grip on his hand tightens. His boyfriend gets nervous and antsy easily — he must think the man in front is judging. He decides to tune the atmosphere.

"Hello!" He greets. The man's eyes snap from just beside him to his face, taking in his appearance. Yeonjun doesn't mind it. After years of self expression, and wearing his identity the way he wants to, he's grown not to care about the occasional curious — or disgusted — look thrown his way because of his dyed hair and flashy jewellery.

"You ever been on this ride before?" The man asks cautiously, clearly scoping out the situation.

To his surprise, Beomgyu nods, long hair fanning over his face for a moment. "I've been here, but my boyfriend — Yeonjun, I mean — hasn't." He says, speaking first. He doesn't do this much. He must be more comfortable with this man than Yeonjun thought.

Yeonjun elbows him. "That's 'cuz you kept going with Kai and leaving the rest of us without saying a word," he accuses.

The man tuts timely. "Woah, uncool."

Beomgyu scrunches up his face, giving Yeonjun that look. He's about to be annoying. "That's because you were too busy avoiding me because you were too scared of screwing up around me because of your so-called 'unrequited crush'. Oh, Beomgyu, I'm too tired to hang out, I can't—"

Yeonjun grabs his boyfriend's collar and tries to throttle him. Beomgyu shrieks, shoving him away, then immediately grabs his hand again.

Beomgyu's not wrong, though. Yeonjun had been worried — or, well, terrified — about how his confession would go. Even with all of the assurances from Taehyun, he'd doubted that Beomgyu liked him back — he didn't trust that he was likeable enough and anyways, he'd resolved to confess on April Fools of all days. That was a dumb idea. Yeonjun is famous for his dumb ideas, though. And they usually work out — this one clearly did.

How, one might ask? Well…

🗒🗓🗒

Yeonjun is about to lose his marbles. Or, well, dice.

"YEONJUN-HYUNG!" Kai screeches. "GRAB THE DICE!"

Normally, he'd clamp his hands over his ears and yell in Kai's ear for yelling in his ear. However, this is a dire situation, so he darts out a hand, holding it just below the lip of the rickety table, and both dice fall cleanly into his palm. He closes his fingers over them, forces on a grin, and holds them out. "No turbulence can stop us."

"We're on a train," Soobin says dryly, shoulder pressed into Taehyun's, scrolling endlessly on his phone. "There's no turbulence on trains."

"Explain this, then," Yeonjun shoots back, waving his hand around at the train carriage. It's wobbling as it speeds down the track, a loud, grating sound emanating from every direction, probably from friction of the tracks, and it's so loud that they all have to yell to hear one another, despite sitting directly next to and across from each other around the table.

"Hyung, are you being intentionally dense?" Taehyun asks genuinely, pinching Yeonjun's hand and snatching the dice when he reflexively opens his fingers.

"Pretty sure he was born that way," Beomgyu quips.

Yeonjun flushes, sinking further into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest petulantly. Beomgyu coos, and his blush deepens uncontrollably.

Choi Beomgyu — Yeonjun's current biggest problem. Because a looming masters degree has nothing on a crush on one of your closest friends.

Enter what he likes to call Exhibit A: Teasing. The Yeonjun of a year ago would've jumped Beomgyu, or brought up an old embarrassing memory, or at least retorted. This Yeonjun, that Soobin calls down bad, can't find the will to fight back. Which in turn brings more teasing, which… blegh. Endless cycle.

How has he ended up here?

"TAE-HYUN, ROLL!" Beomgyu shouts.

Right. They're in the middle of a game of snakes and ladders, where Soobin rage quit five minutes ago and Kai is in the lead by leagues, Taehyun coming at a far second and Yeonjun and Beomgyu still within the first two rows.

Taehyun rolls a three and slides down a snake.

"I'm convinced Soobin is casting black magic for Huening to win," he mutters. Mutters loudly, because Yeonjun can hear him from across the table and Soobin, who's switched to leaning on the window, shrugs.

Beomgyu takes the dice and shoots Soobin a glare. "Stop acting nonchalant and manifest me overtaking Kai,"

"Why don't you sit in front of me," Soobin replies in a monotone, "So I can kick you."

Yeonjun would offer Beomgyu his manifestations if he wasn't desperately trying not to fuck today up.

You see, it's April the first, and Yeonjun only decided yesterday to attempt to confess his growing feelings to Beomgyu. Totally out of his own will and not because Soobin had confronted him about his 'unacceptable behaviour' around his best friend, and Taehyun, who'd been curled up on the sofa watching the strife with far too much interest, had assured him that Beomgyu probably liked him back. Probably.

"You should take the chance regardless, hyung," Taehyun had said reasonably. "It's better to try and fail than brood and shut out Beomgyu-hyung any longer."

Because Yeonjun admittedly had been shutting out Beomgyu. He'd been so terrified of Beomgyu latching on to how he felt, how he tensed under Beomgyu's touch and blushed under nothing but his stare, that he'd begun to avoid him. Eating breakfast alone instead of with Beomgyu, who was always up in the morning at the same time as him without fail. Responding to his cute, emoticon-filled texts (he'd picked those up from Kai, of course) with dry, short messages. Squeezing into spots between the others, even if there was no space at all, just to avoid being next to him.

Today, he'd kind of failed. Because while Beomgyu had chosen to sit beside Taehyun, on the aisle end of the short row of seats, Beomgyu was right in front of him. Unfortunately, with how tall they both — all — are, their legs are tangled together and his knees occasionally bump into Beomgyu's thighs. Mortifying. Mortifyingly pleasant. It's especially bad because while just this slight contact with Beomgyu has him flustered, Kai's leg is pressed up right against his own and he doesn't feel anything but slight fondness at how clingy the boy — no, man; Kai isn't seventeen anymore, hasn't been for ages — is with him and the other three.

It's pretty inconvenient that they've decided to go to Southend today. Yeonjun now has to endure the next few hours instead of enjoying them, worrying over how his confession will go while they go around to the various rides and overfill themselves on sugary snacks. Probably. Hopefully. That's what Kai said they'll do, anyways.

Kai is the one who planned this trip. He'd bounced into the living room, holding his laptop out with the transaction for the tickets he'd bought lighting up the whole room, because he uses light mode for some deranged reason, even in the dead of night when they have all the lights shut off and curtains closed to watch Finding Nemo for the seventeenth time. And yes, he'd missed half the movie that he'd chosen just to book everything.

Yeonjun is grateful. Of course he is — Kai spent his own money for all of them to have a nice day out together during their… week off. AKA, week of the holiday that they're all skipping any work in because Yeonjun might have completely crashed over master's stress and Soobin literally locked him into the house to keep him from running into the library to research for the next eight hours straight.

"Hyung, there's still half the year to hand in your dissertation," Soobin had scolded. "You're taking the week off. Scrap that — we all are. And you're going to relax."

But how can he relax with this looming over him? How can he relax when Beomgyu is sat right in front of him, peering at him with a quizzical and at the same time adorable look on his soft face, pretty hair falling into his eyes? How can he relax when Soobin is glaring dead at him, with a look that screams don't you dare fuck today up?

Deep breaths, that's what his therapist says. Take deep breaths, ground yourself, don't get lost in your thoughts. She told him that the average person has sixty thousand thoughts every day. How can that be true when he's for sure had more than that in the four hours since he'd woken up?

He huffs. She was totally lying to him. Or he's an over thinker. She did agree with that one.

Kai wins the snakes and ladders game, obviously. He reaches the end and throws his hands up, smacking Yeonjun in the face and letting out a shrill whoop whoop! that has heads turning throughout the train carriage. Soobin shrinks into his seat. Taehyun giggles watching him, his wide smile flashing his teeth.

"Rigged," Beomgyu declares, dropping his hand onto the table. It rattles visibly despite the lack of force. "There's no way you're that lucky. Felix felicis type shit."

"We don't mention that franchise in this house," Soobin cuts in ominously.

"Sorry," Beomgyu says, brows thundering downwards. The five of them had burned their collection of Harry Potter books in a cult-like ritual six months ago, almost taking their house with the fire, but the experience had been worth it. Maybe a bit extreme, but fun. And a befitting fate for what the books retained.

[That had also been the night Yeonjun fully realised he had a rather debilitating crush on Choi Beomgyu. A week before, he'd become hyper-aware of Beomgyu — his teasing brought arose a warmth of ecstasy rather than irritation; his touch became electric; Yeonjun began thinking of him as hot rather than handsome. When the flames began to die down to embers after the books had burnt down, Yeonjun had looked over at Beomgyu, laughing as he shoved Yeonjun beside their makeshift campfire, and frozen. Because he'd realised, with a flutter in his chest and fire's orange glow highlighting the curves of Beomgyu's face, his cheeky smile and slowly lengthening hair, that these feelings — these thoughts — weren't just friendly ones. He had a crush on Beomgyu, one of his best friends.

And oh, was it a problem. Beomgyu wasn't just one of his best friends — bad enough already, right? Well, it gets worse. They live together — not just dorm-like, sharing a living room typa live together, but two-storey house with a garden (where they made the book campfire) and two bedrooms. Which had been fine, since Soobin and Yeonjun shared one room and the three youngers shared the other —but just three months ago, Taehyun and Kai had staged an intervention:

"Hyungs," Taehyun said after having everyone take a seat around him, glasses low on his nose like a stereotypical librarian would. "Kamal Huening Kai and I have discussed this at length, and now we are sharing our findings with you. We—"

"How many beers did you drink?" Beomgyu chirped, his hand shooting upwards as he spoke. Taehyun raised an eyebrow but didn't grace him with an answer. Yeonjun barely suppressed the urge to ruffle his hair, still stupid enough to try denying his feelings but smart enough not to do something that would end up with Beomgyu, god forbid, looking at him.

"As I was saying, Kai and I have decided the hyungs need to bond," Taehyun continued, tapping his papers on his leg. They were blank. "Huening, the screen."

Kai, holding the remote as he always did, turned on the television. Instead of the home screen opening up, a graph lit up on the board. Yeonjun frowned, confused, before spotting Taehyun's laptop, connected via a wire to the back of the TV. Of course he prepared this in advance.

"The x-axis shows time spent together in hours per day while the y-axis shows general cohesion both within and outside of the home. Kai and I have observed you and ourselves and, as you can see by the positive correlation between the two axes, the more time spent together, the greater cohesion," he said.

"Observed us?" Yeonjun repeated bewilderedly.

"What is your point here?" Beomgyu yawned, arm brushing against Yeonjun's.

"When and why the hell did you feel the need to make all of this?" Soobin asked genuinely.

"Shhh," Kai hissed, a finger over his lips. They all shut up, because who could deny Kai?

"As I was saying, this means there is cohesion between each of us because of the time we spend together. So, increasing time together increases cohesion. This includes night time. So, because of certain circumstances—" he shot Yeonjun a knowing look. Damn his smart ass, Taehyun always knew when Yeonjun was acting fishy— "We've decided the hyungs will room together. I know we're a democratic household, but Kai's vote has always counted as three and so with me and Kai that means you three are automatically outnumbered."

Holy shit, in a bad way. Was Yeonjun getting roomed with Beomgyu? Of all times, now? He didn't think he'd survive seeing Beomgyu's bed face more than he already did. Fuck, would his voice be raspy in the mornings? Would—

"Kai always gets priorities," Beomgyu whined. Don't ruffle his hair like the cat he is. Don't do it. "Are you kicking me out of my room without even including me in your scheming?"

"No, you hyungs get the big room!" Kai chirped. "We can't move Beomgyu-hyung's bed out."

Taehyun leaned against the wall, tapping a hand on the top of the TV. "Get packing, hyungs."

"Shit, we lose," Yeonjun mumbled, shooting a glance at Soobin. He meant it as, intervene. Save me.

"I guess," Soobin sighed. Shit. "Can't argue with the Kai vote."

Damn it. That was the first time Yeonjun seriously considered telling Soobin about his… situation. Because, despite how annoying Soobin can be, if he knew, he would've helped save Yeonjun. But being the avoidant man he was, he'd forced Soobin to figure it out himself, and that had taken until… yesterday. Kind of.]

He looks again at Soobin now, who's back to doom scrolling on his phone, probably — no, definitely — on twitter.

"I've known for months now, hyung," Soobin had said. How many months, though? Probably not three. "It's not like you're slick. I've been waiting for you to step up yourself, but," he'd sneered then. "You're a total wimp."

Wimp is such a childish way to put it. And Yeonjun is not a wimp. Which is why, with Taehyun's encouragement, he'd told Soobin that he'd confess within 48 hours.

Kai nudges Yeonjun, knocking him out of his thoughts. "Hyung, check this out. There's a dragon ride and it looks just like you."

Yeonjun peers at the screen, frowns. "How does that look like me?"

"It does!" Kai insists.

"Show me," Beomgyu demands, because of course he's listening to Yeonjun's conversation and obviously that completely normal friend-action gives him butterflies.

Kai flips the phone around. Beomgyu leans forwards, squinting to see the screen, because the idiot had refused to put on glasses this morning.

'Idiot' affectionately. Beomgyu looks cute with his large round glasses, and he looks hot with the lighter rimmed ones and without them. Both equally nice. He'd accidentally said that this morning too, and he flushes easily remembering it.

"I'll look stupid at a theme park with them. Especially if they fall off." Beomgyu'd insisted, and Soobin had given up, waving him off with a simple don't come complain to me if you can't read shit.

"It's okay, you look equally pretty with and without," Yeonjun had said without thinking before clamping his mouth shut. Fuck.

Beomgyu'd turned to him in an instant, wide eyes boring into his own. "You think so?" he'd said, voice quieting slightly.

He couldn't stop then, so he went all in. "Totally. You look hot either way," he'd replied boldly, heat creeping up his neck as he spoke. His voice came out quieter than it usually would. Not teasing. Reverent.

And it looked like Beomgyu went red too, but Yeonjun was probably being delusional as usual. "Th-thanks," Beomgyu had mumbled, then hurried away, probably to grab his cross body bag from the living room, or kitchen, or wherever he'd left it instead of beside his own bed. Yeonjun had stared after him, unsure why he'd spoken at all and why now.

Well, until the door shut and Soobin said, "Even less slick now that I pointed it out."

"This is your fault, asshole," he'd groaned.

"You're welcome."

He supposes it's a good thing that happened, easing the tension Yeonjun had brought in place between them. It's not like he'd been ignoring Beomgyu, but he certainly hadn't been going out of his way to talk to him, to compliment him, to spend time with him like he used to. Not without difficulty. Beomgyu felt like an inescapable presence, someone he couldn't help but orbit, silently vying for his attention even while he skirted corners to avoid him. Jealousy haunted him especially, when Soobin wrapped an arm around his shoulders or Kai curled himself around him or Taehyun balanced his laptop on both of their knees so they could watch some shitty k-drama together that they refused to show the others. All platonic, all cute interaction his old self would have cooed over, but now the evil part of him balked at the sight, desperate to join. To replace. But Yeonjun wouldn't do that to them; they were doing nothing wrong.

So he hid. And he hides.

Yeonjun gives his head a small shake. Snap out of it. Stay present. Ground yourself. He clutches the edge of his jumper, smoothing his fingers over the fabric, squeezing it. Soft. Firm. A reliable jumper, one well worn and comfortable. Safe.

In front of him, Beomgyu takes Kai's phone from his hand to see the screen better, then bursts into raucous laughter, eyes flitting between the screen and Yeonjun's face. Yeonjun crosses his arms, feeling his face warm (again).

"It's not that funny," he insists, voice going up a pitch. Soobin snorts without looking at him.

"No… the likeness is… uncanny," Beomgyu chokes out. "Cute cheeks, just like yours, hyung!" he says, reaching forwards and pinching Yeonjun's cheek.

Yeonjun flinches. It's instinctive, after skirting around Beomgyu for so long now, but oh, does he regret it when Beomgyu's face falls. His body recoils slightly as he pulls his hand back like he's been bitten, and his lips press together into a small, tight line. "S-Sorry," he mumbles. Yeonjun can't exactly hear the words over the noise in the train, but he can lip read. And apologies drip from Beomgyu's mouth like water from a faucet more often than not.

He can't fuck things up between them now, not just hours before he tries telling Beomgyu the truth. So he forces on a smile and shakes his head. Leans forwards and taps Beomgyu's knee with a gentle hand, lingering for a moment too long despite his mind screaming for him to pull away, to disengage, to protect himself and Beomgyu. It's fine.

Beomgyu stays stock-still. It may be too late. Better late than never?

Then the corner of his mouth turns up. Okay. Saved. Maybe.

Also, did Beomgyu just call Yeonjun hyung? Shame he didn't get to celebrate.

Not long later, the train makes a loud ping sound. They're nearing the station. Soobin prematurely stands, shoving their belongings from the table into one of three backpacks they'd brought along and gesturing for everyone to get ready. They comply without complaint — well, without much complaint. A certain long-haired individual whines about how we'll have time when the train stops, it's fine!

(They won't, but Yeonjun almost sits down again. Just for him.)

The train stops and the doors slide open. All around, half of the occupants have stood up. Of course it's at their stop that everyone decides to offload. He takes in a deep breath, holds for a moment. Releases. Ready.

Being on the aisle seats along with Beomgyu means they leave first, together. It's… torturous. There's barely space to move with how many people are trying to get out and through the platform, so Yeonjun ends up leading while Beomgyu presses against him from behind, clutching his sleeveless jumper tightly enough that a sliver of his stomach is revealed. He can feel Beomgyu's warm fingers on his skin. Soobin would say get your head out of your dick and deal with it. Yeonjun thinks his suffering is justified. Because as much as he would love to have control over his thoughts, when he's this close to him, he can't help imagining bringing Beomgyu's face closer, closer to his own, his lip between his own, soft hair between his fingers, arm wrapped around his waist—

"Yeonjun? You okay?"

Fuck. "Y-Yeah," Yeonjun says, blinking. Ground yourself. "Why?"

"You're going the wrong direction," Beomgyu says. He uncurls his hand from Yeonjun's jumper and places it against the right side of his waist, pressing gently. "That way."

Yeonjun's brain short circuits.

He's not entirely sure how they get out of the station. His heart is pumping far too fast under Beomgyu's touch, his awareness tunnelled on Beomgyu's hand on his waist, mind hazy and thoughts a mess. He needs to stop imagining Beomgyu's hands moving elsewhere or he will lose his shit. He might already be losing his shit. Maybe he should kiss Beomgyu now, get it over with — get him over himsel—

"—Jun? Yeonjunnie?" Beomgyu waves his hand in front of Yeonjun's face and Yeonjun snaps to attention, the warmth from his side gone and along with it, the film over his mind. They're across the street from the train station's exit, all five of them, and the crowd has dispersed. "You in there? Hellooo—"

"Yes, yes, I'm-I'm here," Yeonjun stutters. "Hi." He adds dumbly.

Beomgyu stares at him. His face is blank, bangs fanning over his eyes, but as he turns away, Yeonjun sees his lips quirk upwards slightly and him make a small huff. Or maybe he's imagining things. He's been imagining too much recently. Far too much. Like literally under 30 seconds ago.

To his left, Kai is practically bouncing on his feet, more than ready to take off without the rest of them to begin his goal of going on at least ten rides. He wouldn't, though — Kai literally booked this trip with all of them because he finds so much joy in having fun with them. He's told them this before, and Yeonjun never forgot, because how endearing is that? How sweet? How selfless?

It also makes Yeonjun feel worse about his… predicament. Why could this not have been just a day later? Why just before he confesses to Beomgyu? Why while he feels so frail, so breakable, so turbulent? Beomgyu holds his heart in his hands and yet he has no idea. He doesn't know that if he squeezes, Yeonjun will crumple, and if his grip isn't tight enough, Yeonjun will fall completely. And Yeonjun doesn't know if he'll choose to squeeze, to let go, or to cradle it gently, cup his hands around it and keep it safe, when he confesses the truth. That he likes him. Maybe it's love; maybe it's a debilitating crush. Maybe it's both. Can it be both?

"Since we've pre-booked, don't jump into the big ass line that'll inevitably be there," Soobin begins, going off his perpetual mental list that tends to keep them safe. "We go in, follow the signs or ask a worker, and get our wristbands. We're leaving at four — no, Kai, we can't stay the whole day. They close at five," Soobin adds at the cross look on Kai's face.

Taehyun rubs Kai's back. "We can't stay anyways, remember? We're taking shots tonight," he says with a grin.

Kai perks up, a mischievous look replacing his downcast one. "Right."

Yeonjun doesn't know when they agreed to this — did he? Is he part of this? — but doesn't question it.

"Meet at the cafe at three for lunch, then we can go on the ferris wheel together as a group activity. Before that — I don't care. Just don't die," Soobin finishes. "Got that?"

Yeonjun and Taehyun nod. Beomgyu and Kai salute. "Yes, sir!"

"Okay, let's go," Soobin claps his hands. "Kai, lead the way."

Kai practically skips ahead, Taehyun matching his pace and taking his hand while Kai drags Beomgyu with his other, almost knocking the compact camera he's trying to switch on out of his hands, leaving Yeonjun and Soobin behind. Yeonjun has a feeling this won't be a peaceful walk, what with last night.

He's right. "Hyung," Soobin says, a couple minutes into their walk, then pauses. He's looking out to their right, where the sea has come into view. In the near distance, they can see the theme park. "Are you sure acting up on April Fools is a good idea?"

"Acting up? How?" Yeonjun asks, instantly on the defensive.

"Calling him hot earlier. Doing — whatever just happened. I don't know, down-badism," Soobin huffs. Yeonjun would snort if he wasn't the subject of the matter. "I'm not against it, really," Soobin assures, "But Beomgyu might take it as an April Fools joke. Hell, I don't know if you are doing it as an April Fools joke, and if you are, that's one fucked up—"

"I'm not," Yeonjun cuts in. "None of this is… a joke. It's—It's annoyingly real. I'm not trying to act like an idiot." He sighs. "I guess it's weighing on me. I'm not… hiding as well as I should. I'm… I'm sorry," he almost whispers. "I'm useless."

"No, you don't — what? You're not useless," Soobin wraps an arm around his shoulders. "I get the pressure. The weight. It's a lot, especially with something so sensitive," he says. "You just… you need to be careful. Don't switch up on him. Don't act like you have been, like you're mad at him for no apparent reason—"

"Mad?" Yeonjun repeats. "I seem mad?"

"Well… hyung, you've been acting up around him for months. You literally used to try to steal him off us. Now? You're different. And… yeah, it seems like you… resent him."

Fuck. Fuck.

Yeonjun never meant to hurt anyone. He thought, if anything, stepping back would prevent Beomgyu from getting hurt. From falling under the fire of Yeonjun's pathetic, overwhelming emotions, his stupid feelings, his stupid crush. But that's what he did to Beomgyu in the end — hurt him.

That's why he apologised so quickly on the train, when Yeonjun flinched at a gesture he used to smile at. Because he thought Yeonjun was mad. He thought things had fixed that morning and that he'd ruined them again in the train.

He blinks once. Twice. Too many times.

"I-I'm an asshole," he sucks in a breath. "A big one."

Soobin hums. "I don't know about that. I mean, you could have a large dick, but I really doubt it. You act like you want people to think your dick is bigger than it is."

"Soobin," Yeonjun whines. What is he saying? Why is it kind of funny? What is his point? Why is he not addressing the elephant in the room?

"Yeonjun-hyung," Soobin mimicks. "It's fine. You'll be fine," he assures, tightening his grip on Yeonjun's shoulder in consolation. "Yeah, you've fucked up, and big time. But do you think Beomgyu resents you? Does it look like he hates you?"

"No?" he replies uncertainly.

"No," Soobin confirms. "And he'll hate you less if you tell him the truth."

"So he hates me."

Soobin flicks his forehead. Yeonjun yelps, punches him. Soobin groans.

"Stop being intentionally dense, hyung," Soobin says, rubbing his arm. "You're dumb, but not that dumb."

"I feel pretty dumb."

"I didn't say you aren't. But you can fix things, like, today. Before you embarrass yourself."

Yeonjun tips his head back, blinks a few times. Breathes.

"Here," Soobin pulls a packet from his pocket. Tissues.

"You just have those on you?" Yeonjun laughs wetly, taking one.

Soobin gives him a look. Isn't it obvious why?

Yeonjun ignores said look, tapping his eyes with the oversized tissue carefully. They're watery, but he hasn't exactly cried — he doesn't do that much. And obviously, now isn't the time for crying; he spent time this morning with his eyeliner, and it's pretty even. He's not letting that go to waste for… emotions. Bah!

(Although, these emotions are Beomgyu centred, and Yeonjun doesn't mind ruining his makeup for Beomgyu. He'd ruin a lot more for Beomgyu.)

He tucks the tissue into the pocket of his jeans, wiping his hand on the grey fabric out of instinct rather than need. Then he and Soobin wrap an arm around the other's shoulders and jog to catch up with the others, trading teasing insults and laughing at nothing at all. Yeonjun feels light, for the first time in a while. It's freeing, finally talking things through with someone he usually tells absolutely everything. Someone who'll arrange a week of skiving any responsibilities just to help Yeonjun relax. Someone he trusts.

He trusts everyone in their small group, obviously — he wouldn't share a house with them if he didn't — but Soobin is a bit different. He's the nearest in age to Yeonjun, his first friend of the four, one he's known since they were teens. Even though Yeonjun is older, he's always found himself going to Soobin for his advice, since beside his teasing, he's a reliable source of help and support and always has been. He'd only kept this… rather large… secret from him because Soobin happens to be Beomgyu's closest friend and confidant too. Not that Yeonjun is jealous — jealousy is below him. He totally doesn't envy the way Soobin and Beomgyu talk to each other and how they curl up on the sofa together, how they share meals without second thought, how they put on one another's favourite programmes when the other looks stressed. Anyways, he'd feared that Soobin would just… tell Beomgyu. Or clown him. Or be offended on Beomgyu's behalf.

He should've known Soobin isn't like that. He knows Soobin isn't like that, but he can't help thinking the worst. Fearing the worst. Sure, he'd been mad, but that was because Yeonjun had hid the truth and hurt Beomgyu — and Soobin by extention — in the process. But not five minutes later, Soobin was advising him calmly again. Forgiven.

Taehyun says he's a pessimist. Soobin would probably agree.

When they finally enter the theme park, Soobin takes the lead again, quickly taking them to a check-in and getting their wrist-bands. They're green, a plastic-coated paper material that connects with a one-time sticky tab. Yeonjun peels off the tab, wraps the band around his left wrist and presses down. Kai does his own too, and Taehyun goes to Soobin, holding out his wrist. And Beomgyu—

"Hyung? Can you do mine?" he asks, fiddling with the band.

Yeonjun's heart rate picks up. Control your breathing, he tells himself, five counts in. Hold for two. Seven out. Repeat. He takes the band, freshly cut nails grazing Beomgyu's fingers, and fiddles with the tab a moment too long. "So, I'm hyung when you need something?" he teases with a small smile.

Beomgyu's ears quickly turn red. "Just hurry up," he mumbles, sticking out his arm and staring downwards.

Yeonjun laughs. It's a bit too loud, slightly hysterical, and has Taehyun looking back at him with wide eyes, but he finds relief in his ability to laugh like this even after what he's done, and smile Beomgyu directs at the ground.

Then Beomgyu looks him in the eyes, his smile dropping, a calculating look written across his face. Yeonjun isn't sure what to do with that, so he dips his head, carefully adjusting the band before he sticks it down. He knows Beomgyu will rip it off within minutes if it's too loose or too tight, so he makes sure it's loose enough to slip over the bones of his wrist, but not so much that it's at risk of falling off. Then he smooths down the sticky part.

"Careful," Beomgyu says strangely. "I don't want it sticking to my skin."

"I know," Yeonjun assures.

"Yours is terrible," he adds.

"I know. I don't really mind it."

Beomgyu hums. Yeonjun steps away, fingers burning, desperate to keep holding him. Keep the feeling of Beomgyu's skin on his.

Of course, he can't have that. Not now. Maybe not ever.

He's still unsure how to interpret Taehyun and Soobin's insistence on confessing to Beomgyu. Why, if they won't tell him — or don't know — if Beomgyu likes him back, would they still want him to confess?

On the plus side, they didn't tell him not to. That would be… not good. That would be very not good.

The path into the main part of the park is wide, with a steady decline around a large building. Kai runs down the entire way, looking back just once to laugh at the rest of them, who walk down with a bit more caution given the number of other people walking in around them.

"I wanna go on that!" Kai says excitedly when they catch up with him, pointing at a tall drop tower near the entrance.

Beomgyu beams at him, and Yeonjun's gut twists. "I'm coming with you," he says, wrapping an arm around him and immediately pulling him along. Soobin runs after them.

"Remember, meet at three at the cafe down the end!" he calls back.

Without discussion, Yeonjun and Taehyun begin to trek through the park, walking slowly and taking in everything around them. It's almost therapeutic, walking through and clearing his thoughts, just focusing on his breathing and everything the sights and smells surrounding him. It must've rained this morning — Yeonjun wouldn't know because he was the last one awake today, somehow — because the smell of petrichor is mingled with a mix of indistinguishable foods and the salty tang from the sea, which the theme park extends over. Nevertheless, it's a bright day, the sky a pale blue with wispy clouds moving leisurely in and out of sight, brightly painted rides popping out against the natural backdrop. There's an 'upside-down house' attraction, where small children are queueing up excitedly with their parents; a small circular ride with small single-seat boats spinning around its circumference; a larger boat ride, travelling up and down and up again on a slight yellow slope; and a trader-esque building with merchandise and drinks and a bathroom off the side. Yeonjun and Taehyun pass those and more, including the ominously tall Axis, where people are screaming so loudly it pierces Yeonjun's ears as they're swung high in the sky, higher than the distant ferris wheel, while spinning too. It's menacing. He points it out to Taehyun.

"No, hyung," Taehyun says firmly. "No way."

Yeonjun laughs. "Didn't say we should go on it."

After a couple of minutes, they reach an outcrop of sorts, a tall building of sorts that splits the theme park in two. There's a tunnel through it that Yeonjun and Taehyun step into easily, moving closer to one another to stay together in the rush of different people moving past them, adults, noisy children, groups of teenagers wearing hi-vis vests over their casual clothes, probably here as part of school trips. The surprisingly long tunnel turns out to house a full arcade a bit further in, set into a hall cut out of the left side. Yeonjun makes a mental note to come back here with the others to prove his superior skills with childish arcane machines.

Given their proximity, Yeonjun's arm presses against Taehyun's from time to time, and a part of him expects it to bring that electric feeling he gets when this happens with Beomgyu. Obviously, that doesn't happen, but he does wonder what would have happened if he'd felt this way with one of the others. If he could feel this way with one of the others.

He doubts it. Beomgyu is just… different. To Yeonjun, he always has been a bit different than the others — the way he used to join Yeonjun in the dead of night when Yeonjun would sit on the living room sofa with his laptop balanced on his knees instead of working in his room, too obsessed with perfection to rest, and crawl into his arms, tucking his head wordlessly into Yeonjun's shoulder and breathing him in. The way he used to wake up first and walk into a bleary eyed Beomgyu on his way to the kitchen every day without fail, and they'd take turns making something for the both of them, from peanut butter and jam sandwiches (Beomgyu hates the crusts) to eggs (Beomgyu likes them with a slightly crispy base and runny yolks) to pancakes (Beomgyu eats two with honey and one with chocolate spread, every time without fail). The way that when it's just them, talking or laughing or just co-existing in comfortable silence, Yeonjun feels a different kind of safe. A different kind of… happiness. Contentment. Bliss.

Yeonjun looks back at everything he had, and the loss of it is heavy. The loss of them.

He's not lost. You just pushed him away.

Will apologising truly make things right? Will confessing bring back that peace?

As Kai would say, only one way to find out.

Once they're through the tunnel, Yeonjun and Taehyun are greeted with a whole new array of attractions. There's the famous Rage, a fast-paced rollercoaster ride; the Green Scream, another rollercoaster, the one which Kai said looks like him; another drop tower; more small spinning rides; and a tall, large circle of swinging chairs that lifts as it spins, moving faster by the second, among other things.

Taehyun links his arm with Yeonjun's and pulls him into the queue of the latter most of the bunch, which happens to be just beside the cafe Soobin was talking about. To their right, there's an actual boat ride, where two-seater inflatable boats are shoved down a slope of running water, splashing the occupants and everything around it. Thankfully, there's a barrier keeping them out of the splash zone. "This one, hyung," Taehyun says. "I've been here with my family before and everyone loved this one."

"You sure?" Yeonjun says skeptically, looking up at the chairs mid-lift. There are a lot of screams.

"Yep," Taehyun nods. "Even my aunt liked it, and she hates everything."

That's reassuring. But, wait, "Are you comparing me to your aunt?"

"You act like her," Taehyun says in a matter-of-fact voice.

"How?" he whines.

Taehyun looks him over once, twice. "You just do."

Yeonjun rubs the back of his hair, then stops, remembering he'd styled it earlier. Taehyun notices.

"That reminds me, you looked like her with your pink hair too."

"HEY!" Yeonjun cries. "I've had enough teasing about it. It looked good."

Taehyun might as well be rolling on the floor with how much he's laughing. "Sure, hyung, but we might as well have called you noona."

Taehyun should be glad the queue is moving fast, because they're at the front now and Yeonjun can't strangle him. Soon enough, the gate in front of them is opened, they show their wrist bands and they're let in. Yeonjun leaves his backpack where everyone else are dropping theirs, against the wall of the stout operating building where the staff can watch them.

"Here, hyung!" Taehyun calls. Yeonjun jogs around a large family securing themselves into the seats nearest to the bags and reaches Taehyun, who's holding two seats hostage for the both of them.

"Thanks," Yeonjun says with a smile. He sits down, his feet still planted on the ground at this height, behind Taehyun. There's a metal bar that he pulls down the chains securing the seat to the roof of the ride and secures with a clasp between his thighs, and then the worker who let them in comes around, rattling each bar and helping a couple kids with their clasps. Then she stands back, yells a few safety instructions that Yeonjun forgets immediately, and the ride begins to move. It circles upwards, turning slowly as it lifts, and so far he's only rocking back and forth gently. It's quite mellow.

Then they're metres above the ground, and the ride begins to speed up. Yeonjun grips the chains tightly, apprehension growing. It certainly didn't look this high or fast from the ground.

Taehyun leans back in his seat, tipping his head towards Yeonjun so he can see the man's sly smirk. "April Fools, Yeonjun-hyung."

The chains shift, Yeonjun is pushed outwards by the speed and force of the ride, and he screams. A lot. An embarrassing amount. He can't help it, with how his stomach feels like a bottomless abysm, somehow worse than when he makes eye contact with Beomgyu. Ahead of him, Taehyun laughs, loud, jeering laughter, but Yeonjun takes solace in how tightly he can see Taehyun is holding on, even from here.

He really is putting himself through this just to troll Yeonjun. And Yeonjun has well and truly been trolled.

He screams for the entire duration of the ride. And the two they go on after it.

"Taehyun-ah," Yeonjun coughs as they stumble off one one of the boats they'd watched stream down earlier, soaked wet, "Please, let's take a break."

Taehyun laughs, but he agrees anyways. They make their way over to a bench across the path, Yeonjun squeezing water from his sleeveless jumper. Its pattern of light brown wool with rows of yellow lions has completely darkened and his bare arms glint under the sunlight. Taehyun is better off, since he'd sat behind Yeonjun, essentially shielded by Yeonjun's body. Good for him. Bad for Yeonjun.

The moment they sit down though, Yeonjun relieving his legs after standing in queues for over an hour, Taehyun shoots back up with his hands in the air.

"Soobin-hyung! Beomgyu-hyung! Kai-yah! Here!" he yells.

Yeonjun looks where Taehyun is and lo and behold, the other three are making their ways to the bench, Soobin with a box of mini donuts in hand and Kai bouncing his way straight into Taehyun's arms.

"Taehyunnie! Guess how many I've done so far!" Kai says, grabbing Taehyun's shoulders, practically quivering with glee.

Taehyun squints, looking Kai over. "Four."

"Nope! Five!"

Soobin lowers himself down beside Yeonjun and Beomgyu falls in beside him, head immediately falling back onto the backrest of the bench. His adam's apple shifts plainly as he swallows. Yeonjun swallows too.

"Donut, hyung?" Soobin offers.

Yeonjun takes one gladly. "I missed breakfast."

"Yeah, I noticed," Soobin says, raising an eyebrow, looking at Beomgyu for just a moment before meeting Yeonjun's eyes again.

Caught.

"When are you going to apologise?" Soobin asks, low enough that no one else will hear. "Better now than never."

Yeonjun looks at Beomgyu again, sees his neck, his jaw, and looks away just as fast. Hot. Pretty. "As soon as I can," he says. Looks again. Pretty biteable. "Maybe now—"

"Hyungs! We're going on Yeonjun!" Kai yells.

Beomgyu sits up quicker than lightning. "I'm coming!" he shouts, running off without a glance back.

What??

Taehyun's standing in front of the Green Scream. Oh.

"We're coming!" Soobin calls back, pulling Yeonjun into standing against his will.

Bad timing. Not much he can do now.

The queue is surprisingly short, for a rollercoaster. It only takes ten minutes before they're at the front, handing their bags off to the workers and then bickering for a moment on who sits where.

"Dibs on the front," Beomgyu says instantly. They've got the first three rows for themselves, but someone will have to sit alone.

"I'm fine at the back," Yeonjun offers. Soobin nods, pairing up with Beomgyu, who's staring down at his shuffling feet. He's awkward. Maybe nervous. Taehyun and Kai pair up, obviously.

Then, as Yeonjun is sticking his foot into the leg space, Soobin's face appears beside his and he stifles a scream. Soobin smirks.

"And now, for my April Fools prank…" he murmurs. "I'm sitting here. Get your ass to the front."

Soobin, you sick fuck. "But—"

"Move, before we get told off."

Yeonjun takes his ass to the front. Sits down. Beomgyu looks at him once before facing forwards again.

"Hi," he says awkwardly to the dragon head in front of him. Kai would probably tell him not to talk to himself.

Beomgyu's eyes dart to him. "Hi?" Unspoken is, why are you acting like this. Maybe a few months ago, Yeonjun would've wrapped an arm around Beomgyu instead, glad to be next to him despite his fear of the ride. The Yeonjun of now is glad. Just not for all the pure reasons he used to have.

Maybe Yeonjun should tell him now. Maybe he should apologise now.

He opens his mouth to say something, anything, hopefully an apology, an explanation — then is cut off by an automated overhead announcement. Safety guidelines, again. Keep your hands and legs inside the ride at all times. Well, obviously. He doesn't want to die. Then the workers that took their bags lower the safety bars over their laps. There's only a few centimetres between Yeonjun's chest and the bar. Beomgyu has slightly more space. Why is Yeonjun looking at his chest too? What—

The ride judders, begins to move. Yeonjun is suddenly far too aware of his right thigh, pressed against Beomgyu's. Worse still is the fact that Beomgyu's baggy jeans are ripped to heaven and back; Yeonjun could literally reach out and feel Beomgyu's bare leg against the palm of his hand if he wanted to — was allowed to. Thank fuck Yeonjun chose jeans too over a pair of shorts because otherwise he'd be even more cooked. They're both too tall for this — neither of them can close their legs since their knees are already pressed against the plastic coating of the carriage, even though Yeonjun desperately wants to give Beomgyu the space he probably wants right now, especially from Yeonjun himself. Despite his own fear — his pressing desire to look forwards, watch the tracks get eaten by the body of the rollercoaster, make sure they're not flying off the rails — he uncurls one of his hands from the safety guard and sets it on Beomgyu's forearm.

"You okay with this?" he asks. This being the ride. Sitting next to each other. Yeonjun's leg. His hand.

Beomgyu meets his gaze for just long enough to offer a tight nod. However, once he's facing away again, Yeonjun doesn't miss how he relaxes slightly, shoulders lowering and fingers loosening from where they've been clutching his thigh. Yeonjun doesn't move his hand, instead tightening his grip just slightly. Not enough to squeeze or hurt. Just to show that he's there.

Beomgyu doesn't look back at him, but he doesn't move away. Yeonjun tries not to think much about it. Beomgyu's not acting his usual teasing self, but he's not shying away either.

The rest of the ride is a blur of adrenaline-fuelled screams, curses, and one promise to never trust Kai again. Kai said this ride is chill. Kai is a liar.

Yeonjun almost cries with relief when it ends. The metal security bar is lifted and Yeonjun and Beomgyu can finally stand, the latter stretching his arms before stepping off. His dark grey t-shirt doesn't reveal much, but Yeonjun finds the action attractive all the same. Simp, as Taehyun says. As usual, Yeonjun thinks it's justified. Just look at him.

After grabbing his bag, Yeonjun corners Soobin, letting the other three go ahead slightly as they head back down out of the Green Scream's perimeter. "You fucking rat," Yeonjun hisses.

Soobin smiles brightly. "Glad you enjoyed the ride!" He chirps.

"I haven't even talked to him about anything yet, oh my god. It was so awkward."

"You didn't even have to talk, hyung. It's a ride."

"The body language."

Soobin gives him his biggest you-absolutely-down-bad-idiot look. It's a new one, introduced this morning, and Yeonjun's already had enough of it.

They step back into the stream of wandering people, still bickering, and walk behind the others, who are pointing at a very menacing looking pink-and-yellow rollercoaster with a suspicious number of screams audible even from here, a decent distance away.

Beomgyu slaps Kai square between his shoulder blades. "When else are you gonna go on it? We gotta have lunch soon."

"I am not going near the rage," Taehyun says, backing away. He's about to walk right into Soobin.

"I don't care! Lets go, Kai-yah!" Beomgyu says. He pulls Kai by the arm, not even looking back at the others, while Kai shoots them a grin and shouts something like six!!! as he goes.

Yeonjun watches them run off and wonders, throat tightening uncomfortably and gut twisting, if he's the reason Beomgyu didn't turn around.

How things have changed from this morning.

"Let's go wait in the cafe," Taehyun suggests. "Me and Yeonjun-hyung already went on three."

"I've gone on enough for the year," Soobin sighs. "Good idea. We can get seats and look over the menu while we wait."

They end up claiming a table for six outside and not looking at the menu. Soobin goes to the bathroom for ten minutes doing god-knows-what (he always takes his damn time peeing), Taehyun scrolls through his phone and occasionally shows Yeonjun the screen, whether it be a random old photo of any of the five of them or a random short video he's found on instagram, and Yeonjun sorts through his bag twice, trying to keep his hands busy and thoughts off Beomgyu for a bit.

It doesn't work. He can't stop mentally sifting through every way he'll apologise and every way it'll inevitably go wrong. He's certain he'll ruin Beomgyu's day at the very least. Who wouldn't be put off by one of their closest friends actually admitting that they have in fact been avoiding them? How will he explain it without telling Beomgyu that he has a crush on him? He could just tell him. But he doesn't want to on April Fools. That would sew doubt into his confession, however it goes, and anyways he can't just apologise and then ask Beomgyu to date him. The fuck? Who would do that! No way. Beomgyu will need time to think, to decide if he wants to forgive Yeonjun for being an asshole first and foremost. And hopefully that decision comes before they go to bed.

They? Not they. Not together. Each of them separately, into their own beds, obviously, not that Yeonjun would mind—

Taehyun nudges him, knocking his thoughts off course. Thank you sincerely, Taehyun. "Hyung, you look shit."

Yeonjun reaches for his bag, intending to pull out his mirror. "I thought I did my makeup well, though,"

"He doesn't mean your looks, dunderhead," Soobin quips from across the table. "You look like you're doing shit."

No more lying. Tell the truth. "I'm nervous," Yeonjun admits. His therapist would be proud. "I don't want to ruin everything."

"Hyung, we talked about this," Soobin runs his fingers through his hair, mussing up his bangs. "He won't hate you. He won't resent you. You might put him in a better mood, actually."

"He's been acting off since we got the armbands," Taehyun adds. "And you're gonna fix that."

"Y-You can't be sure about that," Yeonjun says, fiddling with the hem of his jumper. It's back to normal now, drying catalysed by their excursion on the Green Scream. Positives.

"So your assumption that Beomgyu will hate you is right when I'm telling you it'll be fine, and I've known the idiot since he was born. Sure," Soobin rolls his eyes. "Checks out."

"Soobin," Yeonjun groans.

"Yeon-jun," Soobin mimicks. "Stop panicking and grow some balls."

"Beomgyu might like that," Taehyun notes. Yeonjun chokes.

"Shut up, Taehyun-ah, what—"

"You're so whiny, hyung," Taehyun cackles. Soobin snorts. "You're taking this a little too to heart. Or, maybe, to—"

Yeonjun tackles him before he can continue. Taehyun screams.

"Looks like we didn't miss much," a voice calls from behind. Yeonjun knows that voice. He lets go of Taehyun and turns around — Beomgyu, with Kai grinning beside him. Both of their heads are a mess of wind-whipped hair, but Yeonjun only has eyes for Beomgyu, the long strands sticking up every which way and covering his face even more than before. Yeonjun can't see his eyes, but his pink lips are set in a small, natural smile, somehow still sticking out beside Kai's toothy, contagious grin.

"Six down!" Kai cheers. Taehyun claps for him, whooping as Kai takes the spot beside him. Beomgyu sits next to Soobin, opposite Taehyun, and all three bags are strung over the empty seat next to him. There are two paper menus on the table, folded like pamphlets, with white writing over green paper and small cartoony dinosaurs all over the borders. Yeonjun lets Taehyun and Kai pore over it, content to look from the side without disturbing them and mentally note what he wants. A burger, obviously, with fries and an Irn-Bru… maybe a snack too…

"Yeonjun-hyung, Beomgyu-hyung, you're taking forever," Taehyun says, putting his hand down. What? They started looking at the menus like, two minutes ago. "I want this," he points at a line on the menu, "And Kai wants this. Soobin?"

"Here," Soobin says, showing Beomgyu.

"You guys go order. You can think in the queue," Taehyun says dismissively. There's no room for debate.

Taehyun, you sly genius.

The queue inside isn't very long, given that it's 2:47 PM rather than any normal time that people eat lunch, but there's a full family and a couple of women in front of them. Beomgyu stands slightly behind Yeonjun, on his phone. Probably on twitter or talking to his classmate, Heeseung.

Now or never. Yeonjun can't put this off any longer. But how will he start? How do you start a conversation like this? With Soobin, he'd say something like, I need to talk to you. Or he's cornered into speaking by Soobin or Taehyun, like last night. Maybe he'll try something like the former.

"Beomgyu?" he says gently. Beomgyu's head snaps upwards, not quite meeting Yeonjun's eyes through strands of his messy hair. He'd tried smoothing it out when he sat down without much success.

"Uh, yeah?" he says slightly quizzically, switching off his phone and tucking it in his pocket. That's another thing Yeonjun likes about Beomgyu. If he senses someone really wants to talk, he will drop everything to listen. To give his full attention. Well, full aside from his little diversions when he gets uncomfortable and flaps his hands for a few seconds or smacks something, then turns back like nothing happened.

"Do…" his mind blanks for a moment, tongue twisting, but Beomgyu doesn't look away. He doesn't meet his eyes, but he doesn't look away. "Be honest, do you think I'm doing something for April Fools right now? Pranking you?"

Beomgyu's eyes snap up, meeting Yeonjun's, then he flinches. For a moment Yeonjun thinks he's done something wrong — maybe he said the wrong thing, maybe he looks unwelcoming, deceitful. But Beomgyu just bats his hair, trying to get it out of his eyes, then gives up and smacks the strands fully before tucking them firmly behind his ear. Yeonjun stifles a grin. Cute.

"Um…" Beomgyu sucks in a breath. "Yeah."

Well, shit. Yeonjun had guessed this, but it hurts more to be admitted aloud. "Believe me, with everything we… used to have… I'm not pranking you. I'm — I won't. I'm—" he clasps his hands together in front of them, feeling perspiration on his temples, but he doesn't shrink from Beomgyu's steady, calculating gaze. "I'm righting a wrong. A lot of wrongs. I've wronged you," he says, "And I'm sorry."

"Wronged me how?" Beomgyu whispers.

Yeonjun barks out a short, humourless laugh. He doesn't know if he's about to cry or not. "Leaving you out. Not eating breakfast with you. Not doing your makeup from you. Everything," he blinks twice, three times, four. "Everything I used to. Everything I should have."

"Why'd you stop, hyung?" Beomgyu sounds small. Hurt. "Where'd you go?"

Where'd you do? "I… I never left," Where'd you go? "I hid. I—I was scared. Of… of hurting you." That's enough, right? Say enough without saying everything. "But I must have hurt you more. And I don't know how I can be more sorry. I'm… I'm sorry."

He yearns to reach out, to pull Beomgyu into a tight hug and never let go, but right now, he has to leave it to Beomgyu. Where'd you go? It's Beomgyu's call. But he drops his hands by his sides just in case anyways. Hope is a queer thing. (Kind of like him).

"You're not pranking me?" Beomgyu asks again. "This isn't for April Fools?"

"What can I say, do, to make you believe me?" Yeonjun asks genuinely. "I swear on my dissertation, I'm not pranking you."

To his surprise and delight, Beomgyu laughs. Not something reserved, but his beautiful, boisterous laugh, loud and rowdy and honest. Real. Free. "Well, damn." He frames his chin with his forefinger and thumb, frowning in mock thought. "So you're saying, if you're lying right now, I get to delete all your research."

"I'm not lying," Yeonjun assures, "But yes."

"Pinky promise," Beomgyu says with a soft smile, sticking out his fist, pinky stuck straight out.

It feels like admittance, honesty, when his pinky wraps around Beomgyu's, sealing his promise. It feels like… confession. Truth. A promise to be better. To make his wrongs right again.

"Will you ever forgive me?" Yeonjun asks quietly, unsure. "It's… it's okay if you say no. I deserve it."

What Yeonjun doesn't expect is for Beomgyu to laugh again, somehow louder than before. "I already forgive you, silly," Beomgyu says. "Who do you think I am?"

My love. My eternity. My truth. My loss. My failure. My promise. My redemption. "My best friend," he answers. And it's true, because Beomgyu, and Soobin and Taehyun and Kai, are Yeonjun's best friends. They always have been, no matter their ups and downs, and they still are.

And maybe, just maybe, there's a chance for Beomgyu to be something more.

How could he have doubted Beomgyu's forgiveness? He'd forgiven his childhood bully in a heartbeat after years of torment. He'd forgiven Soobin for almost killing him with a misplaced knife when they first moved in together. Of course he'd forgive Yeonjun — he's forgiving, merciful, to a fault.

Beomgyu nudges him. "Exactly, idiot." Then he smiles again, warm and genuine. "Thank you. For being honest with me. And for apologising."

Thank Soobin and Taehyun. "Thank you," he says instead. "I don't know how to describe you except, well… perfect."

And Beomgyu blushes, pink and pretty, and Yeonjun might be about to swoon. "No need to glaze," he mutters.

"I know," Yeonjun says without thinking. "You already look glazed. Like a donut."

Beomgyu raises an eyebrow. "…What."

"A pretty one. With sprinkles," Yeonjun amends.

Beomgyu's nose crinkles, but his eyes smile for him. And then he takes a step closer to Yeonjun and hugs him.

For once, Beomgyu's touch isn't electrifying. Instead, it's… warm. Like sitting near a crackling fireplace in the winter, or curling up on a sofa in the dead of night with a blanket and the weight of someone you love resting on your lap. Home. Yeonjun is engulfed by a gentle scent of roses and something that he can't quite place, something strangely sweet but familiar, and the arms around him are comforting, a perfect pressure he's held himself back from for so long yet at the same time yearned for since he chose to hide from it. Home.

Where'd you go? Yeonjun doesn't hesitate to hug him back, tightly, the way he's always loved it. It was Yeonjun who chose to leave. But he also chose to make amends, to fix things. And they just did.

Is he really a loser when he's overcome his fears to do this? To have this? And got more back than he ever thought he would?

They spend the next few minutes in the queue trying to decide what to get for themselves, keeping their hands linked together between them. When their turn comes up, Yeonjun orders, instructing the cashier to ensure Beomgyu's sandwich doesn't have any tomatoes or pickles before ordering everyone else's food and his own two burger meals. Then they stand off the side and wait, Beomgyu pulling out his phone and showing Yeonjun how his feed has changed recently.

If Yeonjun was a lesser man, he might've doubted that Beomgyu has actually forgiven him. He might think Beomgyu's behaviour is a prank, that he hasn't really moved on, that the moment it hits midnight Beomgyu will pull away and tell him no, this is over. But Yeonjun trusts Beomgyu; how can he not? What else would he do? And anyways, if Yeonjun knows Beomgyu at all, he doesn't take April Fools all that seriously. Every day is April Fools for Beomgyu — he is relentless with his teasing when he's in the mood for it. And Yeonjun loves that about him. Yeonjun loves everything about him, from his stunning face to his often eccentric style to his turbulent moods. It's all what makes Beomgyu, well — Beomgyu.

Their food comes in three trays, two of which Yeonjun snatches before Beomgyu can get them. He's always trying to carry a larger burden than everyone else; holding an extra tray, cooking three days a week so no one else has to do two, keeping his pain close to his chest. Not questioning Yeonjun's decision to pull away. Closing up.

Yeonjun used to help him, pull him out of his own head. Shove him out of the kitchen and order in Beomgyu's favourite greasy indulgent fast food. Talk to him for hours at unholy times of the night, letting him spill his heart and soul out onto the ground before them in a barrage of tears and snot and curses, and then picking up the pieces and slowly taping him back together.

He won't lose that again. He won't let Beomgyu go ever again.

They're laughing as they step back outside, Yeonjun's trays still wobbling after Beomgyu shouldered him for blowing raspberries and accidentally spewing spittle into his face. In his defence, the exasperated look Beomgyu gave him after he did that was really hot—

Taehyun's voice cuts into his thoughts like a knife. "Stop eye-fucking and give me my food, I'm starving,"

"St—WHAT?!" Yeonjun splutters, trying to slam the trays down unsuccessfully. He can't use force while balancing them on his palms.

"April Fools," Taehyun answers calmly, face impassive but eyes glinting with mischievous glee.

As Yeonjun takes his seat beside him, he mutters, "Kang Taehyun, when I get you, Kang Taehyun…"

Taehyun just laughs, checking one of the boxes (Yeonjun ordered everything as takeout knowing some people (Beomgyu and Kai) won't finish all their food) and sliding it over to Kai, placing a fork into the box of fish and chips for him too.

Yeonjun happens to have Beomgyu's food, and Beomgyu's entire tray consists of Yeonjun's, so they swap by sliding the trays over the table, Beomgyu mumbling a thank you with a small, sweet smile that Yeonjun mirrors with ease. Then Beomgyu tosses Taehyun's wrap at him, and Taehyun slides Soobin's burger in front of Yeonjun.

He realises Soobin has been watching his and Beomgyu's exchange, and when Soobin looks at up him, to Yeonjun's utter shock, his eyes are soft and watery and his smile is large and bright. He tilts his head, then says quietly, "I'm proud of you, hyung."

I'm proud of you.

God, Yeonjun hasn't felt this good in a while.

Somehow (this happens every time) Yeonjun finishes his food first, chucking the boxes and empty can into a nearby bin and then settling back down with the others' conversation flowing around him. He makes small comments every now and then when he has something to add, but otherwise he's content to listen and let the others' voices flow comfortably over him. It's peaceful, and he hasn't felt this peaceful in a long, long time.

Then that peace shatters with Beomgyu throwing a chip at Soobin's face and Kai's laughter filling a three mile radius as Soobin tackles him. Heads turn when Beomgyu begins to let out high-pitched giggles, Soobin's hands having found their target — Beomgyu's armpits.

"YEONJUN-HYUNG!" Beomgyu screeches between laughs. "HELP!"

Yeonjun rushes to intervene before they get security called on them. As he pulls the two (full-grown, by the way) men apart, Taehyun snickers, clapping his hands, and Kai joins him.

"Good job, Beomgyu-hyung!" Kai whoops. Soobin gives him an exasperated look, not quite annoyed since it's impossible to be annoyed with Kai, and rolls his eyes.

"Easy win," Beomgyu says, acting as if he didn't almost just get thrown to the ground.

"Wanna go again?" Soobin challenges.

"No."

As Soobin packs away Beomgyu and Kai's predictably unfinished food, Beomgyu steps up beside Yeonjun, who is tightening his backpack straps with nothing better to do.

"Wanna get ice cream?" Beomgyu suggests, voice hopeful.

Yeonjun gives Taehyun a sidelong glance, silently pleading for him to come along. Taehyun grins and flips up two thumbs. "You guys go ahead! Kai still has two rides to go before we go on the ferris wheel, right?"

Traitor. "Yeah, teacups next!" Kai says excitedly. Traitors.

"L-Lets go then, Gyu-yah," Yeonjun says, the nickname slipping out on accident. Beomgyu positively beams, skipping ahead and waving impatiently for Yeonjun to follow. So follow he does, hopefully not blushing too perceptibly.

"Don't die! We'll call you when we're done!" Soobin calls. He's another traitor. All leaving Yeonjun alone with a man he can't screw his head on straight around. (Like he's ever straight. Bah.)

Beomgyu says they're not using a map for the fun of it. Yeonjun doesn't pull out his map so he can focus soley on the sensation of Beomgyu's hand in his, fingers intertwined, far too warm yet perfect because they keep him grounded, present. He doesn't think about pulling Beomgyu closer because Beomgyu is right here, his hand linked with Yeonjun's, smiling like no time or hurt has passed between them at all. Maybe he's too forgiving. But Yeonjun isn't going to be the reason for Beomgyu to stop; he wants to be a reason that Beomgyu continues to forgive, to accept, to love.

Eventually, they find a place selling ice cream cones; a wheelless van, its side open with a corrugated metal covering jutting out in front of the opening, acting as a roof and a temporary shield from the sun. The day has only been getting more humid as it progresses, so Yeonjun is glad for the shade and the slight relief it offers. The queue is short, just an older-looking man ordering in front of them, and two boys who seem to be in their late teens, fashionably dressed, holding abstract looking ice creams. Since Beomgyu is engrossed in instructing his friends Heeseung and Changbin about their group assignment through lengthy texts, Yeonjun decides to puzzle out the flavours of the curious-looking ice creams the boys are holding.

One of the boys has long blonde hair half tied back into a small ponytail, his bangs almost grazing the top of his barely-touched green ice cream. Yeonjun easily determines it to be pistachio, since the stand only has one green ice cream flavour. The other boy's one is harder. First off, he can barely see it, since the boy isn't facing his way (he seems to be staring dead straight at the other's face, which Yeonjun can't judge him for — his friend's features are incredibly eye-catching, soft with an almost angelic air to them and dark freckles dotted all over his cheeks) and plus, his shoulder-length shaggy hair is kind of mostly blocking Yeonjun's view. From what he can see though, it's either chocolate chip, cookie-and-cream, or stracciatella.

After staring for a few seconds at the array ahead of him, Yeonjun gives up. He does want to compliment the boys on their style, though — the blonde boy has a stack of earrings, a couple dangling down, and the other has a chain link on the ear that Yeonjun can see. He knows the guts it takes to dress outside of the norm, especially as he's a man with flashy jewellery and a fresh hair dye job every few months. He doesn't think there's anything wrong with it — there is nothing wrong with it — but he likes to give others like him some kind of boost to keep going. To be who they are without embarrassment or shame. God knows he needed it when he first dyed his hair blue.

Before he can do anything, the man in front of them shouts a curse even Yeonjun wouldn't dare use and storms away, hands void of any treats despite having stood at the counter for almost five minutes, and shoves past the dark haired boy, storming away.

By shoves past, the man literally rams into Chain Earring's shoulder, sending him stumbling into Blonde Hair. Chain Earring screeches, and even Beomgyu looks up, eyes immediately widening as he takes in the two boys' predicament.

Chain Earring's ice cream is top-down on the floor, streaks of white and chunks of chocolate already spreading across the tarmac. He stares down at it in complete horror, until Blonde Hair cups his chin, tilting his face up to face his own.

"Hyunjin, are you okay?" Blonde Hair asks. Yeonjun actually starts. His voice is deep, far deeper than Yeonjun could have ever guessed, and he realises they're likely not just boys but men. Maybe even around Yeonjun and Beomgyu's ages. It's hard to tell with the baby face contrasting with the demonic (in a good way) voice.

"My ice cream," Chain Earring — Hyunjin — says dumbly. He doesn't sound like a teenager either. Yeonjun was definitely pretty far off with their ages.

"I know," Blonde Hair says. "But did he hurt you?"

Yeonjun's heart softens listening to them. Blonde Hair sounds truly concerned for Hyunjin, completely ignoring the mess on the floor and focusing on the boy — man — in front of him.

"I'm—I'm fine, Felix," Hyunjin says, tapping Blon—Felix's wrist gently with his clean hand. "My cone isn't though,"

"Forget the cone for a minute," Felix groans with a roll of his eyes. "It's fine—"

Hyunjin ducks down anyways, and Yeonjun winces seeing Felix's ice cream graze the other's dark hair as he reaches for the cone, scooping up as much from the floor as possible with it. Yeonjun sincerely hopes Hyunjin doesn't plan to eat that.

Then, as Hyunjin straightens up, Felix licks him.

Yeonjun blinks.

Hyunjin freezes. Felix just leaned forwards and licked the crown of Hyunjin's head, where small clumps of ice cream had stuck to a few strands of his hair, then moved back as if nothing happened. Hyunjin slowly raises a hand to his hair, touches it, stares at his palm.

"…Thanks?" he says slowly.

Felix hums, a shy and delicate but large smile covering his face. "Anytime."

Well, damn. Yeonjun might be interrupting. Or third wheeling without even knowing them. Did he just witness a flirting technique? It seems solid. He might use it on Beomgyu. What would Beomgyu's hair taste like? Realistically, too much shampoo, leave-in conditioner and enough hairspray to kill a small child, but he likes to imagine it'll taste like how the flowery stuff he showers with smells. Because obviously Yeonjun knows what he showers with. Wouldn't anyone know that about a… ah… friend?

He turns to Beomgyu, who's watching Hyunjin and Felix's exchange with visible interest, and sets a hand on his shoulder. Beomgyu jumps, then meets Yeonjun's eyes and smiles. He's always been jumpy; not scared per se, since, like Kai, he barely reacts to scary things (unlike the rest of them, and Yeonjun admits this proudly), but just… very easily surprised. If he doesn't expect it, he'll be shocked for a moment, then normal the next. It's normal. It's Beomgyu.

Beomgyu raises his eyebrows comically high, widening his eyes at the same time. "Wanna share a cone, hyung?"

What? What the fuck? "I—I don't—" Why the fuck would you put this visual in my mind? "If you—I mean—"

Beomgyu laughs, cutting him off with a flick on his forehead. "April Fools, hyung," he says. "Don't worry, we're getting two."

Yeonjun hates the part of himself that is disappointed.

They move closer to the counter, looking through the glass at the array of brightly coloured flavours. Beomgyu's distracted though, turning to the side every few seconds to look at the two men fussing over one another nearby.

Yeonjun reads him like a brightly coloured poster, everything written in bold capital letters. "Ask them to come choose another," he offers, knowing Beomgyu will tear himself inside out trying to choose whether to approach them or not.

Beomgyu nods, face flooding with relief, and hurries away. Yeonjun reels in the urge to pinch his cheek, or worse, grab his face and squish it like mochi. It looks like mochi to be fair. Handsome, kissable mochi.

A few seconds later, Beomgyu leads the two men to the counter, then gestures at Yeonjun. "This loser is my best friend Yeonjun… hyung," he announces. Best friend. That works for now. Hopefully not for long.

Yeonjun rolls his eyes affectionately. "Nice to meet you guys," he says, offering a hand. Hyunjin and Felix shake it in turn, bowing slightly as they do so, just as Yeonjun does. "Now choose."

Hyunjin blinks in confusion for a moment, then shakes his head adamantly. "You really don't have to. I'm okay—"

"We can give you a 30% discount on your order," the cashier interrupts with a small smile. Bless you, sweet lady.

"Can't really pass that up," Felix comments.

With a long, heavy sigh, Hyunjin says, "Fine. But really, thank you so much."

Yeonjun nods in acknowledgement, then nudges Beomgyu. "Choose your fighter."

Beomgyu frowns at the array, inspecting each flavour, and Yeonjun lets him, even though he knows he will order bubblegum because they have vanilla at home and bubblegum is fun and familiar. Probably with a chocolate flake too.

"Bubblegum," Beomgyu says finally, and Yeonjun smiles. "I don't know the rest and we have vanilla at home. With a flake," he adds.

Yeonjun nods and turns back to Hyunjin, who's wrapped an arm around Felix's shoulders, pulling him slightly into his chest as he peers through the glass. Yeonjun can now see Hyunjin's sharp eyes and defined features, as if they're cut from a smooth marble, and he nods to himself. Hyunjin and Felix have chemistry in their looks, too, like their behaviour wasn't enough — they seem like a great match. He hopes they stay happy.

Felix licks his own ice cream. "Get another stracciatella," he says, a gentle, calculated suggestion voiced like an instruction. "You barely got to lick your last one."

Stracciatella. That's what he had. Of course. "You're right," Hyunjin says. "Stracciatella it is."

Yeonjun decides to try something new, mango with sprinkles and a flake. He orders all three as single scoop because Felix has a single scoop, Beomgyu won't finish double and Yeonjun doesn't want to expose himself as a big back right now (like he didn't just eat two burgers). A minute later, he's batting away Beomgyu's outstretched arm, fighting to pay by himself.

"You payed for lunch too, hyung," Beomgyu whines.

Yeonjun finally flattens his card on the reader with a triumphant huff. "You're only saying hyung because you want something from me," he pouts.

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, taking both of their ice creams and peering curiously at Yeonjun's as Yeonjun waves away Hyunjin's attempt to pay him back.

"It's fine, really," Yeonjun says, holding his hands up like a barrier.

"You're too kind," Felix says, shaking his head. "Thank you."

Hyunjin slings an arm over Felix again, grinning widely. "Yeah, thanks!"

Yeonjun waves them off, backing towards Beomgyu. He doesn't want to hold him up any longer. "You guys look cute together by the way!"

As he turns, he hears one stuttered "Thanks?" and an "Oh—", but he doesn't acknowledge them, stifling a giggle as he takes his cone from Beomgyu's waiting hand. The man casts him a strange look before they begin to walk.

"Thanks for paying," Beomgyu says, taking a bite out of both his ice cream and its cone at the same time. Dastardly behaviour. Yeonjun loves him more for it.

"It's nothing," Yeonjun dismisses.

"Rich ass."

"Do you want to pay?"

"No."

They wander aimlessly for another minute, then stop for Beomgyu to pull out his small camera to take a couple photos of their ice creams and the two of them, posing slightly awkwardly together but with a certain gentle peace between them that Yeonjun treasures greatly. Beomgyu takes a few of Yeonjun alone, and Yeonjun flushes over the undivided attention Beomgyu focuses on him as he carefully directs Yeonjun's poses. Yeonjun takes a few of him in return, shaky and nothing like Beomgyu's professional ones (that he's hiding the results of right now), and then they tuck away the camera, returning to their gentle walk and their slowly melting ice creams before Beomgyu asks tentatively, "Can I try yours?"

Try — Oh. That's fine. Yeonjun is completely and totally fine with that. They've shared food hundreds of times before, swapped drinks, hells, he's probably even showered with him before. So this is totally fine. "Sure." He tips the cone in Beomgyu's direction, careful to make sure none of the melted parts will drip on his t-shirt, and Beomgyu leans forwards and presses his opened lips to the side of the scoop, biting off a large chunk and pulling away.

He presses his mouth together tightly, then licks his lips. "Not bad."

Yeonjun stares at his own cone, trying to feign dismay while fighting off an insane blush (he's probably failing). "And t-that's why you bit off half of it, isn't it? Not bad?"

Beomgyu laughs, hearty and teasing, and it fills Yeonjun's chest with a warmth and weight only love can provide. God, he's so endearing. So cute. He can't even find the strength in himself to jump the man, too enamoured and stumped by his casualness, the ease in which he's reintegrated himself by Yeonjun's side.

Yeonjun tries not to think of anything while he finishes his cone. He really does. But images of Beomgyu's lips, pressed into the soft cream that's now in his mouth flash by, drawing heat to his neck and ears within moments. Would Beomgyu's mouth taste of his bubblegum or of Yeonjun's mango? A mix of both? Would his ton—

Ringing in his pocket. He uses his clean hand to pull out his phone. Soobin.

"Get your slow asses to the ferris wheel, now!" He must be shouting, how else could his voice come through this loud? Yeonjun actually flinches back from the sound.

Beomgyu doesn't even look down at the phone. "FUCK YOU!" he yells, pointing somewhere ahead. Yeonjun only now realises that they haven't been walking randomly; Beomgyu has lead them straight to the ferris wheel. Smart guy.

Yeonjun hangs up on Soobin as soon as he spots him, arms crossed with his eyebrows pulled into a small frown as he stares disapprovingly at Beomgyu. When they're near enough, he says, "Don't you realise there are children around you?"

Beomgyu rolls his eyes, chewing on the last of his cone. Yeonjun is almost finished too, only behind because of the… distraction earlier. "Kids swear more than I do, plus, I'm not watching AI brainrot on youtube shorts. Cut me some slack."

Fair ass point. Soobin must think the same, because he just sighs, then waves them towards the queue. Taehyun and Kai have been holding them a spot, so they awkwardly manouver around other slightly irritated-looking queuers and quickly reach their companions.

The line ahead of them isn't long at all. In fact, it barely takes any time for them to reach the front and then hurriedly load into one cabin, which shakes slightly when the five men enter, and then they're slowly rising above the theme park. Yeonjun is on one side, Soobin flanking him and Beomgyu at the other end. Kai sits opposite him with Taehyun lounging at his side, since the two of them have the widest shoulders and so need the most space.

Yeonjun flexes his fingers uncomfortably. Finishing his ice cream came at the cost of the cleanliness of his palms. "Anyone got any wipes?" he asks. Taehyun hands him one. Taehyun is once again an ally. Forgiven for his sins.

The ride is surprisingly peaceful while they rise, slowly moving closer to the clouds, the ground shrinking significantly by the minute. Soon enough the once-clear figures of people are just multicoloured specks, and the sea is visible stretching out into the horizon. Yeonjun spends a bit staring out at the water, clearing his mind and letting some of the stresses of the day wash away. His therapist would be proud. His focus is soley on the look of the water from here; brushstrokes of a carefully chosen shade of blue, drawn across an endless canvas, overlaps deepening its colour and orange sunlight bouncing across the ripples of its surface. Yeonjun should tell his therapist this. She'll be ecstatic.

The peace was the calm before the storm. Yeonjun should have known. The moment they reach the peak of the ride, Beomgyu stands up, holding out his arms like a statue of Jesus and announcing, "Passengers, please buckle in! It seems we have reached a bout of turbulence!"

Soobin immediately slides into the now-empty window seat, then raises an eyebrow. "Turbulence is for planes."

Beomgyu barely spares him a glance. "Tell that to Yeonjunnie."

Yeonjun doesn't even process the insult. Yeonjunnie? What's with the nickname? Why now? Oh joy, Yeonjun's inner peace didn't even last ten minutes. His therapist really will be thrilled.

"Seatbelt is on, Captain!" Kai whoops.

Taehyun mimes buckling himself in, drawing imaginary belts across his hips and chest. "Ready."

Yeonjun's eyes narrow. Beomgyu's about to do something stupid. It's written in bold red marker all over his face. He tenses, glancing out the window — still very high. Too high for any bullshit. Yeonjun's peace is now pure anxiety. He forgot he's scared of heights for a few minutes.

"OH NO!" Beomgyu yells, shaking his head and torso from side to side, hair flipping with each move. "WIND IS HITTING!"

It takes Yeonjun a moment to realise what Beomgyu's doing, then it hits him like a wave. He's shaking the entire cabin. They are over a hundred feet above the ground. Yeonjun is not dropping from this height today. He hasn't even confessed.

Without thinking, he reaches forwards, grabbing Beomgyu by the hips and yanking him backwards. Beomgyu freezes in his hands, pausing his antics, and Yeonjun uses the moment to pull him down. Unfortunately, that results in Choi Beomgyu half in his lap.

Mortification is the best way to describe how Yeonjun feels in that moment. Heat pools low in his stomach, desire spiking his heart, and he desperately tries shoving it down, pushing Beomgyu into the empty spot between himself and Soobin at the same time. The stubborn man immediately tries standing up again, so Yeonjun doesn't have much of a choice aside from throwing an arm across his chest and pressing him back. Yeonjun is lucky that Beomgyu is the weakest of the five of them, because it's not difficult to hold him down, however it is an awkward position and holding his hand on Beomgyu's chest is like begging his mind to dive into the trenches and bathe itself in mud.

"Stop it," he snaps as Beomgyu squirms. Kai cackles, and Yeonjun looks up, remembering with an embarrassing jolt that Beomgyu is not the only person in the world and his three other best friends are cramped in here too. Literally cramped. The leg room is worse than on the train.

Taehyun is staring at them with a large smirk on his face, eyes flicking between Yeonjun and his hold on Beomgyu. Yeonjun widens his eyes, silently pleading for him to keep his mouth shut.

He doesn't. "Bit tangled up there, aren't you, Beomgyu-hyung?"

For whatever reason, Beomgyu stops moving, tipping his head down to stare at Yeonjun's hand like he's only just noticed it's there. Yeonjun pulls away like he's been burnt.

The rest of the ride is like a slow interrogation, tension-filled and painful. And one-sided; Beomgyu looks more than comfortable, his legs pressed against Yeonjun and Soobin's, leaning back with his hands behind his head, elbow drilling into the side of Yeonjun's head. He wishes he could be annoyed. Unfortunately, he finds himself almost leaning into Beomgyu, magnetised by his touch.

From the other end of the cabin, Taehyun mouths simp. Yeonjun flips him off. Beomgyu doesn't notice, having shifted to fish for something in his bag, but Kai looks between Yeonjun and Taehyun with a frown. Yeonjun watches helplessly as Taehyun whispers in his ear, and Kai's eyes widen, staring plainly at Yeonjun and Beomgyu. Taehyun must've told him. Sins unforgiven.

Beomgyu chooses this moment to pull a small compact camera, holding it up and then noticing Kai's shameless stare. "What?"

"Ah, nothing, hyung," Kai says, waving his hands with a smile. "You guys look great togeth—I mean, next to each other. You—" Yeonjun glares at him, giving his best warning look. He doubts it's very threatening. How can it be, when Kai is so adorable? Being mean to Kai is like drop kicking a small child. "Yeah!" Kai exclaims, throwing up two thumbs.

Yeonjun wants to facepalm. Soobin's disappointed look is audible, and Yeonjun can't even see that he's doing one from here. He can just sense it.

Beomgyu is confused. "W-What?" he looks slightly red, but that might just be Yeonjun's mind playing tricks on him. After all, he's been seeing Beomgyu's lips on his own all day too. For months, actually…

"Did you get a picture of the skyline?" Taehyun asks quickly. "We're going down, you won't be able to get a good one soon."

"Oh!" Beomgyu stands up instantly, kicking Soobin's leg so he can step closer to the side. "Right."

Kang Taehyun, your sins are forgiven… again.

He must be taking hundreds of photos with how long he stands at the window, and then he moves to Yeonjun's side and takes even more. Yeonjun is interested in how they'll come out. Beomgyu is a really good photographer; he sells photos, so obviously he's got to be good, but he's really good. Yeonjun has always liked how they come out — clear but not uncannily so, lights caught in perfect tandem, sometimes even immersive enough that Yeonjun feels like he's living the moment that's been caught in the pixels. They have some of Beomgyu's photos framed in the house beside Taehyun's intricate geometric designs. And Kai's… creatures. No elaboration. Yeonjun doesn't want their creepy faces in mind right now.

Anyways, right now, Yeonjun is (unwillingly) tethered to the present by Beomgyu standing between his legs. Well, between Kai's too, but — what the fuck. At least Yeonjun is tall enough to have his face level with Beomgyu's arm rather than anywhere… else. He won't think about that possibility. Yeonjun is a respectful man. Sometimes.

Getting off the ride is a relief. Yeonjun finally has the space to breathe, regather his senses, and let his face and neck cool down. But there's still a long way to go before he can actually take a proper breather and plan out how the night will go. Thankfully, Soobin ushers them out of the park against Kai's pleas to just go on one more ride, quickly, I swear. He will not be quick. Kai is a manipulator with a deceitfully innocent face. It's rare for them not to fall for his seemingly earnest schemes.

The walk back to the train station feels weirdly nostalgic. Sure, they last walked here just a few hours ago, but somehow, so much has changed since then. Yeonjun is talking to Beomgyu again, properly. Yeonjun apologised. Yeonjun may have a chance.

He just has to not fuck things up from now until midnight. He can survive for… he checks his phone. 15:53. Just over eight hours.

Yeonjun has got this.

Somehow, despite their train line leading to the buttcrack of nowhere, every carriage is packed. Their small group have to settle for a two-seater, which Taehyun and Kai obviously get, and Yeonjun, Soobin and Beomgyu stand in a packed vestibule nearby. A group of well-dressed men and women push in between them and Soobin at the first stop, so Soobin calls out, "Two stops left!" before moving further away, trying to find somewhere that he can hold onto.

Unfortunately, the men of the group push Yeonjun away from his safe hold opposite Beomgyu to right in front of him, in the middle of the floor. Entitled rats. He casts around, trying to spot somewhere he can hold onto before the train starts moving, and finds nothing.

The doors shut. Shit.

Beomgyu raises his eyebrows at Yeonjun questioningly. They both know exactly what is about to happen (probably), and yet Beomgyu offers him no way out.

The train begins to move, and Yeonjun is knocked off balance. He sticks out a hand on instinct, pressing his palm flat on the glass beside Beomgyu's head — beside Beomgyu's head — barely catching himself before his full weight falls onto Beomgyu.

Their faces and chests are barely inches apart, and one of his legs is awkwardly pressed against the inside of Beomgyu's thigh, his feet having slipped backwards too. As blood rushes to his head, Yeonjun turns, trying to see if he can easily straighten up. No such luck. Those men stole his already minuscule footspace the moment he stumbled. Fucking cunts.

"Yeonjunnie, you good?"

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Reluctantly, Yeonjun turns back to Beomgyu, face already burning. The nickname makes his stomach feel hollow, bottomless, and far too warm, and the proximity of Beomgyu's face does not help. Yeonjun can see every one of his eyelashes, the beauty mark beside his mouth, the one on the side of his neck. His delicate lips, slightly shiny from lip balm, or maybe saliva. Probably saliva. Beomgyu always neglects putting on lip balm.

Not for the first time today, Yeonjun wonders how his saliva would taste.

"Yeonjunnie?"

Oh god, Beomgyu asked him a question. "Y-Yeah," he stutters. "It's hot in here, isn't it?"

Beomgyu snorts softly, looking up at Yeonjun through his long lashes. Fuck. "Maybe a little."

Yeonjun can feel Beomgyu's breath on his face, holy shit. He tries shifting subtly away, only to be reminded of his leg tangled with Beomgyu's, sending sparks through his skin. He looks down, trying to escape Beomgyu's piercing, enticing gaze, and is met with the sight of Beomgyu's legs, visible through the tears in his jeans. His exposed skin is close enough to touch. To run his hands over—

Look away. Yeonjun quickly averts his gaze to the glass wall next to Beomgyu's head. That's safe. Just Beomgyu's pretty hair and some of his red neck.

Red neck. Beomgyu is flushed red.

Yeonjun should find comfort in the fact that Beomgyu seems to be as flustered as he is. However, his traitorous heart skips a beat, the idea that Beomgyu might feel the same way he does — might want the same as he does — flashing across the forefront of his mind. Maybe he isn't the only one who wants to taste his best friend's mouth, who wants to wrap his arms around his slim waist and pull his chest to his own, tangle their legs together, press him down…

Fucking hell, Beomgyu's face is nearing his own, and he doesn't know who's moving.

Then, with the worst — or perfect — possible timing, the train begins to slow, and an announcement overhead blares the name of the next stop. Beomgyu jumps slightly with the sound, spooked as always, and twists slightly to check the announcement board again. Away from Yeonjun. Blissfully and painfully away.

God, Yeonjun needs him.

"Next stop," Beomgyu says, voice breathy for a reason Yeonjun can't, or doesn't want to, place.

The doors open, and barely anyone leaves. Yeonjun and Beomgyu's position doesn't change. The doors shut. The train sails onwards, Yeonjun's body jerking again with the sudden shift, hand slipping and his arm and body's weight pressing into Beomgyu's.

"Here, hyung," Beomgyu says quietly, scooting as much as he can to the side, opening up a small gap on the wall beside his shoulder. Yeonjun moves gladly, body pressing against the glass pane, his bare arm cooled by its blissful chill. Sure, Beomgyu's arm is now pressing into his entire torso and his nose is practically buried in Beomgyu's hair, but at least they're not face to face.

At least Yeonjun can't accidentally start something he'll regret.

He can't kiss Beomgyu now after all. A cramped train is hardly romantic. Plus, it's still April Fools, and he is not fucking up a potential relationship because his traitorous body is impatient.

Body, not the mind. Yeonjun's mind isn't on Beomgyu. Not at all.

Getting out of the train is a nightmare. Yeonjun is hot and sweaty all over, not helped by Beomgyu latching onto his jumper the moment the doors slide open and Yeonjun pushes off the wall he and Beomgyu have been trapped on, about to begin shoving through.

Beomgyu's voice reaches him before he can move away though. "Yeonjun," he says, voice quick and panicked, and Yeonjun immediately turns back to him in worry. "D-Don't leave me."

Where'd you go?

"I'm right here," Yeonjun says, gently unclasping Beomgyu's fingers from his jumper. Beomgyu looks panicked for a moment, eyes widening, then Yeonjun slots their fingers together. He squeezes. "I've got you."

Yeonjun might be a complete simp. He might be down-bad, easily flustered, and quick to try and detach himself from a situation he can't control. But he won't let that get in the way of keeping the people he loves safe. Hells know he's already fucked up once.

Never again. Never.

Where'd you go?

I'm right here. I won't leave you again.

Yeonjun and Beomgyu don't let go of each other the entire walk back. Not even when they have to climb an endless staircase to pass a small bridge over the train tracks, hands sweating but still linked. Not even when Kai pulls his best beaten-puppy look at Taehyun, all wide eyes and pouting mouth, and convinces him to convince Soobin to take them to the nearby tuck shop and buy several packets of crisps, popcorn and a few bags of sweets.

"For our after-fun party," he says, words that only make sense to himself. And maybe Taehyun, who's gazing at him with a tilted head like he hung the sun and the stars himself.

Not even when they finally walk into the winding street and down to their house, a quaint, semi-conjoined thing with greenery growing all over its front. There are two overgrown trees in the front garden, one with cherries slowly budding all over it, the other stout and blossomless, yet attractive nonetheless. The grass underfoot is bouncy and fresh, dew still clinging to each blade, and small clusters of daisies poke out from the moist soil. Above the doorway is an overhang, half-hidden by curling vines and dripping vibrant fuchsia, which the five of them duck under to get inside. After the first door is a small space with a slightly rusting old shoe rack, which they chuck their shoes onto haphazardly before opening the inside door and stepping in. Beomgyu finally lets go of Yeonjun's hand. Yeonjun misses it instantly, the warmth, the constant, gentle pressure of someone who's present, who keeps him present.

The carpets strewn over their worn wooden floorboards are soft and familiar, and provide Yeonjun with a relief he didn't know he needed. His feet are sore. He needs at least two to three business days to recover from this (he will end up going to the gym tomorrow no matter how much he complains now), and a hot chocolate.

Or drink. Taehyun and Kai have already pulled out their reserves of soju and vodka, along with five shot glasses, and are setting them up along with the snacks they'd bought earlier in the living room. Yeonjun shakes his head, mildly exasperated, and follows Soobin upstairs.

They end up alone in their shared bedroom with Beomgyu, except the latter isn't here. He's taking a "quick" shower, which means maybe an hour at minimum in Beomgyu-speak.

"So," Soobin says, stripping off his white t-shirt and pulling on a slightly oversized black hoodie. He doesn't care that Yeonjun is there and neither does Yeonjun. Perks of rooming together for over three years. "You're getting that cookie."

Yeonjun feels himself blush for what must be the hundredth time today. "You… could say that, I guess?"

Soobin snorts. "Good on you, hyung," he says, looking back at Yeonjun thoughtfully. "You're doing well. Better than I thought."

"What, you thought I couldn't apologise?"

"Well, yeah," Soobin shrugs. "You have a bad track record."

"Okay… true…" He admits grudgingly. "But I'm not that self-centred. I know when I've fucked up, and I admit it. I did admit it."

Soobin nods. "And that's why I'm proud of you."

For the first time today, Yeonjun flushes with pride instead of want.

The five of them pile onto the sofas in the living room downstairs after Beomgyu's done with his shower, everyone having switched into more comfortable t-shirts, hoodies and pyjama bottoms. Yeonjun wears a white t-shirt, kind of like the one Soobin had earlier but larger. Soobin, Beomgyu and Kai are in hoodies while Taehyun has a shirt identical to Yeonjun's own.

The so-called "after-fun party" begins. It's basically just a series of drinking games, followed by a movie-watching wind down that lasts until eleven PM. Yeonjun has more Irn-Bru in place of alcohol, and while he easily plays it off as simple disinterest for today, it's really because Yeonjun refuses to risk being drunk, even tipsy, when he wants to confess something so serious, so close to his heart. Really, it is his heart. And he'd rather be sober while he tears it out and offers it to Beomgyu with open hands.

He doesn't fail to notice Beomgyu doing the same, especially since Beomgyu borrows Yeonjun's can and downs it in place of shots when he has to just as Yeonjun is. And Yeonjun tries his hardest not to think about the number of indirect kisses they're sharing as the evening folds into night and their can drains into two.

For the movie, Kai chooses Cars. A classic, which Taehyun manages to cry over halfway through — an impressive feat, only accomplishable by the significantly drunk. Actually, he seems to be holding his alcohol significantly well; maybe he's just really passionate about Cars.

Soobin on the other hand isn't fairing quite so well. He's been flushed bright red since he lost his first game, and while he's lost the least overall, he's still the most drunk of them all, draping himself over Yeonjun and Taehyun, mumbling about Kai not doing his chores but he's cute so it's okay and about how Beomgyu will never beat him in League of Legends, to which Beomgyu smirks and begins scheming aloud about how he will tamper with Soobin's scorings while he's knocked out in a drunken sleep. Which comes surprisingly soon, a full forty-five minutes before the movie ends, after which Yeonjun is forced to drag his knocked-out ass all the way to their bedroom. Beomgyu stays downstairs, cleaning up the (significant) mess, while Taehyun and Kai make their way to their own bedroom, wrapped around each other and their private giggles.

Yeonjun doesn't exactly know what's going on between them. But he hopes for a lightness like they have with each other, with Beomgyu.

Everything goes back to Beomgyu.

After hauling the slightly-stirring Soobin into his bed and tucking his duvet under his chin, Yeonjun heads back downstairs and into the living room as opposed to grabbing his brush to prepare for bed. Tonight, Yeonjun doesn't care for keeping his sleep schedule like Soobin's been making him do recently.

Tonight, Yeonjun has more important matters to take care of.

As expected, Beomgyu is still here, reclined on the larger of the two sofas. Yeonjun tries not to stare at how his hair hangs over his face and sticks to his neck, still slightly damp, or the sliver of his waist exposed by his raised hoodie. If all goes well, he'll have more than enough time to see… him… afterwards. If not, well… they'll still be friends. Surely.

Hopefully.

Yeonjun begins to pace, nerves settling into every crevice of his body, making him feel jittery and hyper. The caffeine from the Irn-Bru doesn't help, not at all.

He checks the time. 23:58. Holy shit.

Two minutes.

"Yeonjun-ah? Are you okay?"

Too soon. Too soon.

"Y-Yeah," Yeonjun says, taking in a deep breath, still not stopping. He has to keep moving. If he stops moving, the claws in his stomach will rip him apart and his nerves will win and ruin everything. He will keep moving.

"Yeonjun, stop."

Yeonjun stops. Damn you, traitorous body. Damn everything.

Yeonjun looks up. Beomgyu is standing now too, moving towards Yeonjun with a strange look on his face.

Yeonjun glances down. 00:00. Fuck.

"Are you okay?" Beomgyu asks, forehead creasing. "You're acting…"

He stops. Beomgyu is looking down, at Yeonjun's phone, at the time written on there. At the date.

And suddenly, with a dawning look of realisation on his face, Beomgyu backs away, looking between Yeonjun and his phone.

"This—This was all a prank."

Fuck. No. Fuck. "No, Beomgyu—"

"That's why you're acting weird. You were pranking me the whole time." His hands go to his hair, scrunching and fisting. His eyes aren't wide with his typical mock-horror right now. The horror — anger — is real, truly, horribly real. "I shouldn't have — Fuck — F-Fuck you—"

"Beomgyu, stop!" Yeonjun bursts, grabbing him by the wrists and pulling him closer.

"No! Get off—"

"I'M NOT LEAVING YOU AGAIN!" Yeonjun explodes, stress morphing into fear that spills over his face in wet, hot droplets. "I promised," he says. "I promised."

"THEN WHAT IS THIS!" Beomgyu cries, arms going limp in Yeonjun's grasp, wet face crumpling from anger into confused fear. Fear of what Yeonjun is doing, of what is happening.

Guilt is a chasm that is swallowing Yeonjun whole. So this, he thinks, is 'the worst'. Maybe even the end. "I n-never wanted to lose you, Beomgyu," he starts.

Yeonjun has gone through this moment a hundred times in his head, thinking up every possible scenario. Every carefully-decided word that he'd set on using for each scenario flies out the window. Nothing that his mind conjured compares to the present.

"I—" he swallows. Do this. Now. Now or never. "I told you earlier that I hid from you because I was scared of hurting you." He meets Beomgyu's hurt gaze, both of their eyes shimmering with tears. "I didn't lie — I would never… I won't ever lie to you again. But I—I didn't tell you why. Why I was scared of hurting you.

"Choi Beomgyu," he sucks in a deep breath. Now or never. "You can push me away for saying this. You can block me, ignore me, or pretend this never happened, and we can go back to how we were — if you wish. But I don't…" he swallows. Now or never. It's now. "I've wanted… more than that for a while now, and it—it scares me. It scares me as much as it tempts me—"

"What are you saying?" Beomgyu whispers, pulling his hands close to his body, clamping them tightly together. Clamping himself together.

"I love you, Beomgyu," he bursts, poeticism gone. "I've loved you for months, your eyes and your hair and your laugh and the way you look at me — the way you hold me — the way you… make me who I am. I n-never meant for this to happen," he cries openly. "I never meant to fall in l-love with my best friend, but I can't — I can't stop thinking about you — ab-about kissing you — holding you — fuck, Beomgyu, just you—"

Yeonjun stops, because Beomgyu's hands are on curling around his face, and because Beomgyu's lips are on his.

All his jumbled, pitiful thoughts shudder to a halt.

His eyes flutter shut. Beomgyu's lips are soft, softer than he could have ever imagined. They slide easily over his own, sweet, gentle, everything he could ever wish for and more.

More. He wants more. He needs more.

Yeonjun wraps his arms around Beomgyu's waist, finally, finally, and presses closer, one of his hands moving up to cup Beomgyu's head, to tangle his fingers in his hair, finally, finally. The locks are soft, still slightly damp from his shower. Perfect. "Perfect," he whispers against Beomgyu's lips before pressing him closer again. "Always perfect."

Yeonjun tilts his head, deepening the kiss, and Beomgyu gasps, leaning further into Yeonjun's chest. His sweet, flowery aroma, fresh and vibrant from his shower, envelop Yeonjun, affecting Yeonjun like a strong wine. He feels heady, tipsy, with Beomgyu, Beomgyu, Beomgyu.

Beomgyu's hands are curled around Yeonjun's neck, fingers wrapping around hair, his ears, his earrings. He tugs. Yeonjun's knees go weak this time, and they stumble back, falling onto the sofa, Yeonjun with his back against the cushions and Beomgyu moving on top of him.

"You fucking idiot," Beomgyu huffs, lips pink, pink from kissing him. Kissing Yeonjun. "You could — should — have told me."

"I—I didn't know—"

Beomgyu presses down, kisses him again, harder. Yeonjun forgets how to speak. "I thought you h-hated me," Beomgyu says, and Yeonjun opens his eyes to see him crying. He reaches up, cups Beomgyu's face, and with his thumb, he swipes away the tears. "I thought you k-knew that I liked you, and you were so mad t-that you stopped — stopped liking me — and I thought you were pranking me by pretending we were normal again—"

Yeonjun can't help it. He seizes Beomgyu by the collar, pulling him into another deep, reverent kiss. "Never, my love," he breathes, the name slipping out like second nature. "Never."

Their kisses taste of sugar, of salt, of each other. Of love.

"You fucking idiot," Beomgyu mumbles again between breaths. "You're so stupid."

"I know," Yeonjun placates, an easy admission. A true one at that. "I was stupid."

"You are stupid," Beomgyu fixes. "Why today?"

"Well… it's not April Fools any more, is it?" Yeonjun says, attempting a smile.

Beomgyu lets out a loud huff, something about dumbass idiot hyungs, then pulls Yeonjun into another kiss.

It tastes like the first time. It tastes like second chances. It tastes like love.

The sofa shifts slightly, and Beomgyu's legs tense around Yeonjun's hips. "Fuck, Gyu—"

He blinks. Beomgyu is staring too, at the tall man who's just sat down on the sofa with them, a metal cup in one hand and TV remote in the other, blanket around his shoulders. Soobin.

"What the fuck," Beomgyu says.

Soobin turns to them like he's just noticed they're there, takes in the way they're tangled together, their flushed faces and tear-soaked cheeks. "Took you long enough," he says, voice husky.

Yeonjun groans. "Can't you go back to being hungover?"

Soobin holds out his cup in response. Water.

"Upstairs?"

Soobin switches on the TV, flicking to YouTube and searching Kara with deft fingers. "How about you two fuck upstairs and not on the sofa?"

Yeonjun chokes. Beomgyu's eyes widen, mortified for once in his life. "Soobin, you—"

"You have my blessing. Make… good use of it."

Beomgyu turns, rolls off Yeonjun, and jumps onto Soobin, fists flying.

Yeonjun laughs, far too loud for the middle of the night. Far too loud for a house that's half sleeping, too loud for someone who just lost and gained it all in a matter of minutes.

Because this is everything. What more does Yeonjun need? Beomgyu loves him. Beomgyu kissed him. Beomgyu doesn't hate him — none of his friends do.

Yeonjun is safe. Yeonjun is home.

🗒🗓🗒

"You guys are cute, by the way," Yeonjun comments.

The man blinks, confused. "Who?"

"You and your boyfriend?"

"My—" The man pauses. "Ah. His name's San. Yeah, he is cute," he declares.

Oh, shit. Yeonjun didn't mean it like that. "You make a cute couple, I mean," Yeonjun corrects hastily.

Beomgyu snorts. "I think he knows you're not hitting, idiot,"

The other man — San — returns now, beaming at his boyfriend as he jogs towards them, holding out the drinks. "I got you oreo," he says, holding it out.

"You're the best," he takes the drink, poking one of San's dimples with his free hand in thanks. Yeonjun almost coos. He can tell Beomgyu is holding back too, and they share an easy, seamless glance. They're so cute.

"Oh, hi!" San then says with a small wave. The other man — Wooyoung, Yeonjun learns — introduce them to one another, and they move forwards a few steps in the line.

Yeonjun can't help wondering over the couple, why they look both so tense and so comfortable beside one another. "How long have you two been together?"

The couple share a glance.

"A week," San says timidly. "Not long, I know,"

Beomgyu wiggles his eyebrows at them. God, he's so cute. "This is like, a first outing, then?"

"Yep!"

Wooyoung presses a kiss to San's cheek and this time, Beomgyu lets out a small, endeared squeak. "He didn't want to do something basic like a coffee shop, so he brought all our friends here. Dramatic ass," Wooyoung adds with an eye roll.

"You like it," San counters, staring at Wooyoung intensely.

Wooyoung mutters something unintelligible, and both of them flush. Yeonjun looks away, giving them a moment of privacy by admiring his own boyfriend instead. Beomgyu notices and smirks. Yeonjun wants to wipe that smile off his face with his teeth—

"What about you guys?" San's voice cuts in. Oops.

"April first last year," Yeonjun says confidently.

"No!" Beomgyu punches him. "It was the second, idiot."

Ouch. "Fuck off, you got Taehyun's birthday wrong the other day,"

"That was a fluke," Beomgyu dismisses. "I know it was the second because you were a mess on the first and refused to do any pranks that day which I thought was weird and then you confessed as soon as it became midnight and said you would've done it earlier but you thought I would think you were trolling."

Beomgyu might be winning this one. "That's, like, essentially the first still," Yeonjun huffs.

"So our relationship is a joke to you?"

"I'm gonna—" Yeonjun grabs him again, but this time, he pulls Beomgyu close and kisses him. Deeply. For maybe far too long, both of them getting lost in each other for the moment. When they finally pull apart, Beomgyu is flushed bright pink, and Yeonjun can only assume he looks the same.

"Not… Not a joke," Beomgyu breathes. Yeonjun casts him a dark, sultry look, saying that's what I thought.

When they reach the front of the line, they realise San and Wooyoung are going with them. The ride has eight seats, split into two forwards facing rows; the four of them are pointed to the front row. Wooyoung gets in followed by San, and Yeonjun sits next to him, Beomgyu on his right, their hands tightly linked.

Yeonjun isn't afraid to admit that he's fucking terrified.

The restraints make everything feel a lot more real. They're decently high up already, and it's only going to go upwards from here. He's absolutely terrified of heights, and Beomgyu full well knows this. He's kind enough to squeeze his hand, reminding him that he's there. Yeonjun's not alone in this. He looks over at his boyfriend. Beomgyu is grinning at him with a teasing, cheeky look on his face.

"You ready?"

Always, for you. "Fuck no."

The ride moves.

"Wanna go again?"

"Fuck no." Yeonjun responds instantly, stomach still churning. His throat is burning from how much he screamed, but he takes short solace in knowing Beomgyu's throat must be parched too from how much he laughed… at Yeonjun. But seriously — that was awful. Yeonjun could've fallen out. He might die right now from the blood rush to his head and his insanely fast heartbeat. He might faint, jinjja for real.

Beomgyu laughs, and it's the greatest sound in the world, healing; Yeonjun can't even be mad anymore. His ailments are forgotten. There's no one else but him — him, never alone again.

Because Yeonjun will never leave him again.

🗒🗓🗒