Work Text:
“And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother’s keeper?”
***
My brother wasn’t always like this.
Wasn’t like what?
Like this.
Like what?
I don’t know.
You don’t know.
I remember the first time I saw him. He was teaching the other children. He was happy. He was so happy.
Wasn’t he?
Was. And you cannot take that away from me. That I saw him first. That I knew him before he knew me.
Alright.
He was… there was a garden. At our estate. He would pick the bilberries whenever he saw them, and it would stain him red. I would laugh and… use my handkerchief to wipe it off. It wouldn’t come off, of course. You needed water. But I would do it anyway, and he would let me. Laughing under my hands.
…
Sometimes I wonder whether he did it on purpose. He was such a smart child, wasn’t he? He would’ve known that the bilberries would stain… Won’t you say something?
He… knew.
He did, didn’t he? I never saw him pick a bilberry without me… He’s grown up, now. He doesn’t need me anymore.
He’ll always need you.
He didn’t. Not those last days… he wouldn’t even let me touch him. I thought he would hit me, when I tried to wash his face. He didn't, of course. There was Will for you. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. And yet… You know, I think it was always me who needed him.
He’ll always need you.
I need him. I miss him. Which is strange. Because it’s my fault. I killed him.
You didn’t.
I did. I did. I killed… my brother.
You didn’t.
I miss him… When you ask me, where is my brother? Where is my Will? How could I answer you?
…
How can I answer you?
…
Where are you?
…
You are my brother. Can I still be yours?