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In Which the Bots Could Take Over the World
It took six months for Natasha to realize just how many bots there were; and Clint, and Bruce, and Thor, and anybody really. In fact, the only person who didn’t seem surprised by this most recent development, was Steve, and that was probably because he was shagging Tony. The only reason that the rest of the avengers even found out how much of the house was made of AIs at all, was that one day they all stopped working.
“Tooooooooony!” Clint yelled from the kitchen, “Why isn’t the stove working? What did you do to it this time?”
“Hmm?” Tony said, entering the room, “Oh yeah. I’m doing maintenance on the bots today, and I had to turn them off.”
“Okay,” said Natasha, “that explains Dummy, You, and Butterfingers, but why is it that suddenly the stove won’t work, and washing machine won’t open.”
Tony blinked at them, and tilted his heads, “I had to turn all the bots off. All of them. That includes the stove, washing machine, and all the cleaning bots. Plus the coffee maker, and most of the other appliances. The tv should work though, if you want to watch that.”
Clint sprayed his juice in shock, “What the fuck?! The coffee machine is a bot?!”
“You didn’t know?” Tony asked, “Nearly everything here is. I do a lot of night-inventing, which usually results in things having AI that probably shouldn’t.”
“Ohmygod” Natasha said, “Does that mean the washing machine can talk to me?”
“No of course not!” Tony said, “It would be stupid to install a voice into a washing machine. Be careful with your delicates though, because she doesn’t like to wash things in cool water.”
Natasha’s jaw dropped just as Bruce walked into the room, and he looked at her a second before glaring at Tony, “Did you break her?” he asked, “Tony, how the fuck did you break one of SHIELD’s top agents?”
Natasha stood up, and walked from the table, “The fucking washing machine is going to eat my lingerie.”
Bruce shot a confused look at Tony, “What?”
“Apparently nobody realized exactly how many AIs I have.” Tony replied nonchalantly.
Bruce rubbed his face and turned towards Clint, “Am I missing something?” asked the scientist, “I feel as if there was probably more to the conversation.”
Clint nodded, “Tony turned off all his bots for maintenance today. Apparently the coffee maker and the stove are alive, and the washing machine doesn’t like cold water.”
Bruce nodded, “That sounds about right.” He said, with a slightly green tinge to his skin, “I’m gonna go take a trip to the hulk room.”
“What?” asked Tony, “What’s wrong with my bots?!”
“Nothing Tony.” Bruce sighed, as he left the room as well. “Absolutely nothing.”
Clint was about to make another comment about the functionality of the one caffeine-producing machine in the tower, when they were interrupted by Thor’s booming from upstairs, “Anthony!” he yelled, “Why is my toilet not functioning properly?”
"Fuck."
END