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Yoongi wrapped himself deeper into his covers, the thick fleece doing nothing to chase away the cold that lay in his bones. It was the kind that was thin and piercing—something that couldn’t be diminished by layering up or turning on the boiler.
The chatter coming from the living room echoed, each laugh making his heart ache. He kept scrolling on his phone, desperate to ignore the sounds. It wasn’t like he could join them—not even if he wanted to.
He was Min Yoongi, the quiet, unaffectionate older brother who was a recluse. Every time his friends had hung onto him, tried to hug him, or even hold onto him, he’d pushed them away, feigning annoyance.
He didn’t really hate his brothers’ touch, he just didn’t know how to accept it—how to reciprocate it. He’d pulled away so far that it’d become the norm to leave him out of activities like the one in the living room: a peaceful movie night filled with snacks and cuddling.
Yoongi had wanted to participate—wanted to try to be as clingy as Taehyung or as touchy as Jimin, even if he knew he would most likely chicken out. Hell, he would’ve just settled for being in their presence. But, as they were setting up, Taehyung had patted his back asking him to sleep well. Yoongi was shocked, his monotone face concealing his emotions as he nodded bleakly, pain spreading through his heart.
He wasn’t welcome here.
He’d gone to bed with a heavy heart, his shower long and boiling hot to make up for the warmth he so desperately wanted to feel. The scalding water did nothing to sate Yoongi’s sadness, it only turned his pale skin pink and pruned up his nimble fingers.
A shriek laugh broke him out of his thoughts—Hoseok.
Yoongi always wished he could be like Hoseok—a ray of warmth within the members’ lives. How many movies had they watched? Three or four? Yoongi sank deeper into his mattress. Hoseok was never afraid to back down from a challenge, always ready to face it head on. He fought for what he wanted—and maybe Yoongi should too.
He threw his phone across his bed and lifted off his thick covers, the cold air attacking him immediately. He shivered. As he made his way down the hallway quietly, doubts riddled his mind. Maybe he should just go back to his room. Taehyung made it clear that he—
No. Yoongi deserved to be with the members just as much as anyone else. He couldn’t continue to wallow in his room, expecting things to miraculously change. He had to do something, he had to do something now.
The bright glow from the TV lit up the end of the hallway, Yoongi’s pale skin turning into a mix of colors. His eyes scanned the dark room from the doorway. An air mattress sat in front of the TV up against the couch, the coffee table pushed off to the side. Namjoon sat on the end of one couch corner, Jin right next to him. Hoseok lay half on the mattress, half on Jin, his eyes fighting to stay open as Jin ran his fingers through Hoseok’s hair. Jimin, Jeongguk, and Taehyung were cradled around one another in the center of the mattress, a thick blanket wrapped around them. Pillows were scattered everywhere, some on the floor.
Yoongi took a careful step forward to get a better view. His eyes locked onto a small corner of the air mattress, unoccupied by any of the members. It wasn’t big enough to lay down but maybe if he squeezed himself into a tight enough ball, he’d be able to make it work.
He crept into the room slowly, each step more hesitant than the last. He could go back now, they hadn’t seen him yet. It’d be like this never happened. But…Yoongi had nothing to go back to. He didn’t want to spend any more time in his cold, empty room. He looked at the members once more. He really wants to be here.
He slowly lowered himself to the floor and began to crawl on his hands and knees. He silently prayed that no one would notice him doing such a pathetic act. His heart pounded as he reached the air mattress.
Holy crap what was he doing? What is he, five? He should just leave while he still can.
Yoongi shook away the thoughts and placed his hand on top of the air mattress—no going back now. He hoisted himself up, making no eye contact with any of the members. This was the most embarrassing moment of his life. It had to be.
He curled up into a ball, on the corner of the air mattress, his head brushing against the edge of the couch cushion. He was faced towards the door, watching the walls change colors with each passing scene on the TV. His knees were tucked up against his chest, his arms wrapping around them. The cold night air made goosebumps rise on his skin.
The air mattress shifted from somewhere further down. Yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. He knew it. He should’ve never come here. They were going to kick him out—
Warm arms wrapped around him and tugged him deeper into the mattress. Bodies moved around to adjust to the new addition, Yoongi being placed between Jin’s legs as Hoseok held him against his chest.
Yoongi let out a sigh of relief, the warmth like nothing he’d ever imagined. It spread throughout every inch of his body—including his soul. He took a deep breath and relaxed further into Hoseok. He felt a hand run through his hair and brush against his forehead. Jin Hyung. Yoongi’s eyes fluttered shut. Hoseok’s hand began to rub Yoongi’s stomach, their legs intertwining. He felt lips on the back of his neck, rubbing the soft skin.
Why had he never done this sooner?
A deep, gloating voice broke his trance,”I told you he’d come out.” Taehyung. The boy chuckled, the rest of the members following suit.
Yoongi was too deep in his actively puddling mind to bicker with Taehyung, something he’d have to do later.
Right before he drifted off to sleep, Hoseok mumbled,”I’m glad you came Hyung, we all are. You’re like one big kitty. You say you don’t like affection but look at you.” He snickered quietly.
Yoongi grumbled playfully and purred as his eyes closed once more, his body going limp.
…