Chapter Text
The summer I knew I loved you.
Trigger warnings: Reference to self harm
Note: The "false" Hikaru will be referred to AS Hikaru and not 'hikaru' or whatever his true name is idk man I just want yaoi. ALSO the entire fic is Yoshikis POV so don't even think for a second this is sum x reader shit. ALSO this is the prologue and was rushed so don't come for me chat
I could feel the hot summer air hitting the back of my neck as I sat down on a bench, Hikaru sitting next to me. Well, what appeared to be Hikaru. But what he is didn't matter right now. What did matter was how I was going to live with Hikaru's true identity. I had confronted him yesterday, I'd told him 'you're not Hikaru, are you?' and that's when it dawned upon me; my best friend is dead. Deep down I always knew that. Since 'He' came down from the mountain something has always been slightly different. He looks like Hikaru, sounds like Hikaru, but he's not Hikaru. Coming to terms with that felt weird. Having to see your best friends body but it not being your best friend will always be weird. But slowly, I was getting used to it. I was brought back to the reality I was in when a cold hand touched the back of my neck. I flinched, leaning forward, away from the touch.
"What?" My voice was dry a hoarse, I hadn't had water in two days.
"Whats wrong?" His voice. Hikaru's voice. But it wasn't his. And I was disgusted by it, disgusted by myself. How could I look at him and feel disgust?
I shook my head, pushing his hanging arm down by his side. "nothing" my voice was quiet, like a whisper I was afraid to say. But the words were natural for me, something I've always said. Nothing was wrong. But nothing was right.
"lets go home. It's too hot here". I pulled myself off of the bench, Hikaru following behind me like a dog. He was always like that, especially this 'version' of him. We mounted our bikes and began to pedal across the small bridge that brought us from the corner store to the neighborhood. He stayed in the mountains, but ever since he came down he's been sleeping over at my house more often. It was awkward to lay in the same bed as him but it was convenient for me when my dad was home. He wouldn't act out if Hikaru was there. And I was thankful for that.
Our bicycles brought us to my house quickly, we tossed them down carelessly by the front door. I rubbed the back of my neck and patted my pocket for the key. Hikaru's voice came out, loud. "is your mom home?". I looked at him, shaking my head. "no, she's out with Kaoru." I turned the key, getting irritated when it got stuck. I pushed open the door, pulling him in by the wrist before shutting it quickly. It was the weekend so he was allowed to stay over, no one would care. I looked at him, eyes locking. He had cut his bangs again, they were wonky but it was alright. It wasn't that noticeable. "go upstairs. I have something to do."
I ushered Hikaru upstairs, waiting until I heard the gentle slam of my door. I walked behind the staircase towards the bathroom, running my hand through my hair. I had to clean up before he ended up using the bathroom and seeing the mess.
Truth is, my mom hasn't been home in 3 days and my dads been staying at his friends house, he was nothing but a drunk and he lost his key so he'd been staying outside. As soon as I stepped into the bathroom I took my shoes off; I always took them off in the bathroom for some odd reason.
I flipped on the light, looking around at the mess. I closed the door behind me in case he came downstairs. All around me, there were subtle droplets of blood and used bandages. I'd left it like this last night because I'd passed out and woken up the next day. I slowly crouched down, picking up the small rolls of bandages first, then the bigger ones. The blood was already stuck to the carpet, if I tried to clean it then it would only make it worse. I tossed the bandages into the trashcan by the tub, pulling up a towel from the floor to wipe some of the dried stains on the wooden parts of the floor. And I was done. If you looked close enough you could see some remaining stains but other than that, it was as if nothing had happened.
And I intended on acting as such. I tugged on my sleeve subconsciously, the bandages underneath had already caused indents on my skin. Had I tied them too tight? I didn't have any clean ones so I'd just have to keep them on for now until I can get more.
I took another quick look around before walking out of the bathroom. As I opened the door, my heart jumped. Standing right before me was Hikaru with a distorted face. Different shades of purple and pink were crawling from the sides of his face.
My breath caught in my throat, "Hikaru?" I spoke cautiously, taking a steady step backwards.
"You were gone for too long. What were you doing?" huff. He'd been like this before. When I first confronted him his true form began slipping out from the sides of his face. As always, I never knew how to respond. Maybe this was exactly how a normal person would be. When upset you become distraught, perhaps that's the state he is in right now, and was back then.
I slowly reached out my arms, wrapping them around his cold body. I could feel the strange substance dripping onto my shirt. It sent a chill down my spine. No matter how much this grossed me out, it felt both wrong and right to hug him. "I'm sorry." I wasn't going to defend myself or explain why I was taking so long, that could only make him more upset- so, I just apologized. I pulled away once the goo had crawled back into him and he seemed more calm.
How long had he been waiting outside the door? I patted his head as one would do to a child. because right now that's all he was, a child. A child who needed comfort, not scolding. He didn't need to be asked questions right now such as 'why were you standing there?' or 'you should've stayed upstairs' Everything I wanted to say, I knew not to. Because all Hikaru needed right now was simple reassurance.
"It's alright. Let's go sleep, hm?" with a slight nod, Hikaru began climbing the stairs with me behind him. His hair was messy from the 'goo' slipping out, I'd brush it for him later. I pulled myself up the last step, Reaching out for his hand before he could grab the handle, I opened it for him- I don't know why but I did. I walked inside the room, scanning it for anything that wasn't supposed to be there.
With a sigh of relief I climbed onto my bed. The window was open, letting in a cool breeze as the sun set. I hadn't realized how much time I really spent in the bathroom. I looked over to him, his eyes scanning me as though I were a puzzle he was trying to solve. My bangs covered my eyes making it hard to see him with no light on. He took a step closer, then two, then three, and then he was right in front of me.He looked down at me with a frown. "I'm sorry, yoshiki." three simple words. That was all they were but they held such deep meaning. It had been a while since something had caused tears to prick my eyes. I was unsure on why those three words had took a jab to my heart, but they did. I reached out towards him, patting his hand. Maybe I was too tired, or maybe I was just lazy. But I didn't say a word.
I turned my head away, adjusting my blankets on the bed. I heard him rustling around behind me, getting comfortable on the floor. I reached my hand down towards him, grabbing onto his shirt. Maybe I just didn't feel like tossing him a blanket, or maybe I was out of it. You know, maybe I'd even lost my mind.
"sleep with me tonight."