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Luke Skywalker is a Jedi. One of the very last of what was once a pillar of the republic. He was trained to control his emotions, take the negative ones and release them out into the force. He helped take down the empire, returned his father to the light, turned away from the dark when the temptation was nearly too much for him. But even a Jedi can be affected by the most quiet and dark hours of the night.
As Luke lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling with a blank expression, his thoughts race. He’s been thinking of Owen and Beru lately. He’s been thinking of them a lot, actually. At first, his thoughts are nostalgic, and bittersweet. Owen scolding him for staying out at Tosche Station late, cursing that Darklighter kid for being a poor influence. The way the annoyance in his face would seem to melt afterwards, like he couldn’t stay mad at Luke for more than a minute before clapping a rough hand on his shoulder and leading him inside for dinner. Beru, and the way her eyes would crinkle at the corners when she smiled, and how they never lost their sparkle even during the harshest of seasons. He remembers the laughter, the warmth, and the love. He remembers what was taken from him.
Bittersweet eventually gives way to just bitter, and he knows it’s unbecoming of a Jedi, he knows he must meditate upon these feelings and then release them. But his stomach is twisting and his heart clenches as he remembers their bodies. The sickening crackle of the fire, the sting of the smoke in his eyes. His entire world gone. Even after, when he found a parental figure in his old master, Ben Kenobi, that was taken from him as well when Darth Vader cut him down in front of his eyes.
He begins to spiral. How could the empire do such a thing? How could his father help lead such an empire? His father.. his father who was now dead as well, leaving him thrice orphaned, and alone. He sees his father’s face in his mind. Well, not really. He sees the mask, dark and imposing. He sees his own face inside the same mask, lying on the ground in a cave in Dagobah, and wonders if that possibility is still there. If he carries the worst parts of his father with him even now.
Luke doesn’t realize there are tears streaming down the side of his face until he hears a knock at the door. He doesn’t even need to open it to know who it is. Before he can get up, Leia comes in, concern on her face. She doesn’t say much, the two of them rarely need to, she simply holds out a hand. “Walk with me?” She says, a gentle whisper in the small hours of the morning. Luke nods, wrapping a robe around himself and stepping into his slippers.
The two walk in silence, arm in arm, down a long corridor of the senator housing in Coruscant where they’re both staying. Leia watches Luke intently. “It happens to me too.” She says suddenly. Luke answers with an inquisitive “Hm?” Leia’s gaze drifts to somewhere far away. “I get lost. I wander through the palace on Alderaan in my mind, and think of all I’ve lost. My parents, my friends, my world.” Her voice is quiet now, a slight hitch on the last word.
Luke suddenly feels guilty for pitying himself when Leia has lost so much. “None of that.” She says, sensing his emotions through their bond. “I don’t say that to make you feel bad, Luke. I say that so you know you’re not alone. Neither of us are anymore.” Luke turns to his sister then, and for the first time in hours his racing thoughts slow. It feels as though his vision clears, he sees her, sees the present moment, feels the force all around him. He realizes Leia has been using it to project a calming energy through their bond, a cool blue balm in the blistering red of his memories. “You’re such a show off.” He says, smiling wryly. She smiles too. “It’s a neat trick for a senator to have.” She laughs.
After a shared drink of tea, and a long hug, Luke returns to his own apartment. He’s fearful for a moment, that in his room he’ll find himself back in that dark place, but as he lays down he reaches out through the force and finds his family. Leia, already settled into bed, and Han, next to her. His eyes become heavy, and though he knows morning will bring more challenges, he sleeps knowing he will not be alone when he faces them.