Chapter Text
Luz and Amity were sitting right in front of a camera, ready to record their second ever review of a video game. In the room with them was Gus and Willow, who was managing the camera this time for said review. Amity was dressed in a black dress with red leggings, black heel boots, and a crescent moon circular necklace while Luz was dressed in her signature blue and white hoodie, black leggings, gray denim shorts, and was comfortably barefoot in her bedroom, her loafers by the bedroom door.
“I-I’m not certain about doing this, guys. I mean…I was lucky to not mess up the first time we made a video. What if I mess up? What if I show everyone how much of a screw-up I am? What if I turn us all into laughingstocks?” Luz curled into a ball at this last one.
“I don’t think it’ll be that bad, Luz. Remember, the people watching expect people, not experts right out of the gate,” Willow reminded the barefoot nervous girl.
“You also were having so much fun you didn’t even notice the camera last time and people thought you were great. We’ll be fine. You’ll be fine,” Gus reassured.
“Maybe…but what if that was a fluke?” Luz worried.
“Hey, Luz. I get that this is scary. Getting the footage for said review was scary. I worried when we were playing of being a complete failure if I lost even one life in the game. Just keep in mind I’m here and so is Gus. If you get nervous, just pretend you’re having a general conversation with one of us,” Amity suggested.
Luz gave a minute of doing deep breathing to calm down. She was still worried about the video, but was able to be calm enough to manage a smile that wasn’t forced. “Thanks, Amity. I can do this. This is a fun opportunity after all. We get to share our passions with so many people around the world. What can be better?” Luz questioned joyfully.
“I couldn’t say. Anyways, I think it’s about time we get started. Remember, though. We don’t have to record the entire footage and voice for the video review in one night. We can take our time. Ready, Gus? Willow?” Amity asked.
“Of course! This is going to be a fun video game to talk about!” Gus was elated. “Just wish it was a better Crash game.”
“I’d say it’s decent, though. They did their best after all,” Luz noted about the developers.
“True. Now…the video recording starts in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Start!” Willow pressed the start button for the footage.
Luz and Amity were in their beanbag chairs, with Luz’s toes wiggling in delight over the game talk to come.
“Welcome back everyone! I’m Luz!” Luz greeted with a wave.
“And I’m Amity. And we are the LumityHexGamers,” Amity greeted.
“Today’s video is going to be about the video game Crash Bandicoot: The Wrath of Cortex,” Luz said enthusiastically.
The video then shifted to the game box art followed by some search engine images.
Luz: For those of you that never heard of this game series, then I’d suggest you go and try out some of the Crash Bandicoot games. Created by Naughty Dog, a loved and respected developer for Sony, the series broke out onto the original Playstation in 1996. The series consisted of hallway-like level structures where you’d move forward through platformer stages with a fixed camera. (Footage of the first level in Crash Bandicoot for PS1 played.)
Amity: However, Naughty Dog was done with the series after making four amazing classics on the Playstation; three platformers and one being a kart racer like a Mario Kart. However, Universal Interactive Studios still owned the license and weren’t willing to stop the series seeing the success it had. So, a few years later, we got a brand new main series game by the Lego game developer Traveler’s Tales. (The logos for Naughty Dog, Universal Interactive Studios, and Traveler’s Tales were shown at the appropriate times.)
Luz: Reactions to the game were… mixed to say the least. The game got some fans, but many gamers didn’t care for it or found it a mixed bag. I personally enjoyed this game when I played it. Does that make the game perfect? Well…no? Obviously. Still, there is much to applaud the game for, especially seeing as how the game was developed in only about 12 months. (The game cover art was shown onscreen.)
Gus: The game was initially worked on by Konami with Mike Cerny, who worked on all previous games, being head of the project. It was also intended to be more experimental as it consisted of an open world with many differing yet super amazing story events. For example, we’d save Coco from tribespeople for one and mini-bosses in certain environments were also considered.
Amity: Eventually, the game as it started as got scrapped roughly ten months into production and production had to be restarted essentially from scratch after disagreements between those higher up. Made even more complicated in that they had to develop the game on the new and hard to develop for PlayStation 2 before getting ported to the GameCube and Xbox later on.
Gus: In the end, Mike Cerny ended up leaving production and Traveler’s Tales ended up having a year to finish developing it into a more traditional Crash game. They even had to make a special level editor tool for this game to get it ready on time. Say what you will about the finished product, but the fact the game is functional at all is a miracle, even more so that it has people who enjoy it.
Luz: Many people are surprisingly unaware of these facts when they refer to this game. I kinda feel bad for the developers that were talked about poorly in this new light. So hopefully this helps people to be a bit more charitable to this game with that context. Anyways, without further ado, let’s get to talking about Crash Bandicoot the Wrath of Cortex.
Willow: We open up with by far the longest opening for a Crash game yet. Here, we’re introduced to Dr. Cortex along with his minions, fellow villains, and boss Uka-Uka discussing how Crash has kept them from being efficient villains and Uka Uka wants him dead to be free of him as a threat.
Gus: One thing I find kinda weird is that N Gin questions them being able to stop Crash, basically asking if they should even though, as stated in this cutscene, he is the reason they have failed at least three times to stop their villainous plans! Kinda a flaw in the writing here, isn’t it?
Luz: W-Well, to be fair it is still acknowledged that Crash has stopped them before. And I get the idea that directly targeting Crash will make more problems than it solves. So, with that, Uka Uka essentially tells them to think up a way to kill Crash for good or else there will be consequences.
Amity: N Trophy reveals that Cortex has made up a new animal creation that needs a power source to work at peak power! To finish it, Uka Uka suggests using a massive source of power called ‘The Elementals!’
Luz: Eeeeeeeeh!
The review swapped to show the other three kids look over at the 14 year old Luz, now in her pajamas with the long sleeved pants. “Sorry! I just love this bit of lore.”
Luz: I gotta say that the game does have a good idea here! The idea of more masks, some as evil and powerful as Uka Uka is pretty cool! I also like the idea of there being a new super Bandicoot like what Cortex planned for Crash. Both of these plot ideas are interesting and have the makings of a good story. Granted, the final draft of it is just okay, but I appreciate the effort in the ideas.
Amity: Anyways, after some disasters that the Elementals caused, Aku Aku learns that Uka Uka and Cortex have revived the masks. And, apparently, the only way to stop them is to use…you guessed it! Power Crystals!
Luz: I really love this development! Sure, some may say it’s unoriginal to be going after the Crystals again, but I love that there is more of a reason to get them than there was in Crash Bandicoot: Warped! It’s a small detail, but it adds to the game’s more quality moments! I also love to see that Coco created the Warp Room and teleporters herself for this game! It’s amazing that they used her being smart as a way to create a new Warp Room system, rather than just have it exist…because the plot says so like in Crash 2!
Luz is now shown having been innocently playing with her bare toes in her pajamas while she was explaining this part.
Willow: With everything said and done, we can finally start the game…
Willow: We can finally start the game?…Is the game still working?
Amity: This is actually a huge point of criticism with this game. See, due to having been done by a new studio in just a year, the game’s technical state is kinda…not the best. The load times can take a while and the original PlayStation 2 version’s load times are a nightmare. Fortunately, we are playing the GameCube version where the load times are more bearable.
Luz: I feel awful for the players that experienced or will experience the PlayStation 2 version of the game. Hopefully, the decide not to if they are focused on enjoying the game.
Gus: True. Anyways, said warp room like always for this series has five main mini warp rooms with five main levels each.
Luz: Each level has the typical Crash formula of having a power crystal in it for main progression as well as one or two gems and a relic for 106% completion. Gems are obtained by breaking every crate in a level or through side paths and relics are obtained by beating the level within a specific time limit. The game just gives us many fun unique ways to complete and progress through a level and rewards you like other Crash games for knowing the level.
Gus: Anyways, the first level, of course, is a typical Crash platforming level; this one based in the arctic. Weird that an ice level is level one seeing as how many gamers believe that these level types are frustrating due to ice physics.
Amity: I get it. Ice physics can be a chore in some games. Heck, Crash 2 has some pretty bad ice physics at times. Thankfully, the main path is mostly free of ice physics and the one section of the primary path with ice is a part easy for even a new player to get through. It also helps that the ice physics here are decent and we don’t have extremely hard sections to go through with it like in Crash 2.
Luz: I know! We get to go through a beautiful ice stage with an extremely catchy music piece. In fact, this entire game’s music soundtrack is pretty impressive. They even managed to make a specific music track for every single individual level with virtually no repeats. Another point for this game.
Amity: So true. It does make up for the minor disappointment that death routes now don’t have individual themes and are just the normal level’s music being played.
Gus: Yeah. I also have to admit that the graphics aren’t super impressive. Sure most levels are decent for the time the game came out and it still looks okay today, but there are obvious moments, especially in levels like level 6 where the graphics look like shortcuts had to be taken with the game.
Willow: As for the gameplay for each level type, let’s start with Crash. He plays at the start just like he does in Crash 2 or at the start of Crash 3. He jumps, crouches, slides, spins, and slide jumps. For a new developer, I must say they did a good job with making Crash play well in this game.
Luz: It also helps that the levels we have to play through are mostly well designed. They do a good job with challenging the player and not just being bland hallways…well level 6 is kinda an exception to this, but hey! Most levels are designed pretty well for a new developer.
Amity: The design is also fairly well handled in additional gameplay styles. An example of this being the flying levels which I think are a bit easier to get used to than the ones in Crash 3 which I found to be a bit sluggish in comparison.
Luz: I agree. The game even made the area beneath us have a distinct design. This shows how the new console generation is able to be an improvement over the past one as the PlayStation 1 era was mostly just generic ground textures due to limitations of the era. The game also allows us to be faster in the plane than in Crash 3…at least to me.
Willow: I get you. The plane levels feel more fast paced and easier to play than they were in Crash 3…
Gus: I do have to admit that level 9’s flying level is a bit weird. We instead of a rapid fire way of shooting now have to hold and lock on to a target and release for a strong homing shot once ready. The game never does anything other than trial and error to inform us of this and it feels tacked on that this level is the sole exception.
Luz: The game is very strange with doing that. But it’s only one level and it’s not like it’s a nightmare. You just…need a guide for it…
Amity: Yeah…I don’t know why Traveler’s Tales did this. I get they wanted a ton of variety as a way to keep the series fresh, but was this the only way? The game even has some mediocre helipack and driving areas that work fine but aren’t necessary for this game. They aren’t bad to control and aren’t badly designed. It’s just…why?! Why do we need so much variety if they are barely used?!
Luz: Fortunately, there are two extremely fun kinds of gameplay segments this game has. The third level introduces us to these rolling ball levels called Atlasphere stages. They basically allow the player to roll Crash through a mix of environments made for high speed run throughs and some careful precision segments using ball physics. I obviously love the fast paced chaos! What about you, Amity? I take it you loved the precision segments more?
Amity: Uh…yes. You are right. I do still love the speedier areas a fair amount and think they do mix up the game.
Luz and Amity were shown, with Luz now back in her casual main outfit barefoot as they went from looking into each other’s eyes to awkwardly looking away. Both girls were smiling and blushing hard as they were doing this. Willow and Gus were in the background giving knowing grins at the chemistry both girls have.
Gus: These levels also have one of the few places past the opening cutscene where Cortex’s minions and allies appear in game as we don’t fight them as bosses in this game. Tiny is essentially a blocker that doesn’t do touch damage. N. Trophy and Dingodile have their own attack patterns that have to be avoided and watched to get past safely.
Willow: Speaking of the bosses from past games getting limited screentime, we pretty much only get to see them in planes during flight levels or in cars during the jeep driving levels. This seems like another shortcut taken due to having only 12 months to develop the entire game. With more time, maybe they could be boss fights along with Crunch.
Amity: Yep. Crunch is the only boss in the game but we’ll talk about this more later. For now, we need to wrap up with the final few gameplay types. First up is the mech stages.
Gus: These stages are typical platforming levels that partway through have you permanently enter a mech to plow through the level. The game takes away your ability to jump onto enemies to beat them like normal and instead requires you use a finicky wumpa fruit bazooka to shoot at enemies if you want or need to hurt them. I don’t get why jumping isn’t a viable option as we are in a massive heavy mech! It should be an option for the player, especially as some enemies are in the air.
Luz: At least the weight behind the mech is fun to control. The next gameplay type we get to experience is a mine cart, which we only have to do once for the main story. These are fast paced areas where we get to control the movement of a mine cart by moving left or right to tilt the cart into crates or even move to a different rail. I kinda wish we had a few more of these segments as these are frenetic feat of entertainment to experience.
Amity: Next we have the most annoying gameplay type in this game. Not due to the gameplay in these areas but due to the design of them. The underwater levels. Underwater levels have two different forms of getting around. We have the scuba diving swimming that is from Crash 3 as well as new submarine sections that are a bit clunky but are still decent to control and are only a problem when turning around.
Luz: The former are not too different from Crash 3 in terms of controls and are always fun to control. The submarine does give you the benefit of just shooting and destroying enemies and crates, even with the frustration of turning around.
Amity: These levels are not bad at all, but they go from great to complicated when you see two massive design flaws these levels have. First, these areas are needlessly huge. It doesn’t help that to find some crates in the submarine segment of level 19, you have to basically search through the entire level’s first half to find the crates in order to get the gem.
Gus: Second, and this one is just bad design, the green mines. Basically, these mines are positioned above your line of sight and fall right when you get in range. Unfortunately, for new players or even experienced players, this essentially means you are forced to be extremely slow in order to not take hits here.
Amity: I really don’t get why we need these things. These mines are completely unnecessary and are basically a punishment to the player for playing the game. These mines are not uncommon either, so expect to deal with them a lot in the three underwater levels we have.
At this point, the screen shows many moments of Amity playing and Crash dying to the green mines, with Amity getting more and more frustrated with each passing death or at least hit from the mines. Luz, now dressed barefoot in her pajamas with shorts and an oversized gray shirt, pulled Amity into a comforting hug, which succeeded in soothing the stressed girl.
Willow: Let’s wrap up the gameplay with the final gameplay type; Coco’s stages. See, the game developers likely wanted to give the players who wanted to play as Coco a chance to do just that. They also wanted to have a different way to go through the platformers levels without her gameplay being a copy paste of Crash’s. I can appreciate the effort, but it could have been done better.
Gus: The problem with Coco’s levels is that she has less control options than her older brother. She can’t slide and this can’t high jump at all. She also doesn’t get most of the boss powerups, not even the double jump.
Amity: She also unfortunately doesn’t have anything special to make up for this nerfed moveset. You get more when the N Sane Trilogy made her almost a clone of Crash. It’s not the best mark of a game when you prefer Coco being a Crash reskin than an original character.
Luz: Yeah…I love female protagonists in media and all, but we could have gotten more. On the bright side, the game is mostly designed for Coco to not be able to double jump in her stages and her stages are fun to play. I also enjoy her vehicle segments of riding on a snowboard or scooter…even if it is video game logic we survive. But, hey! Crash is cartoony so who am I to judge?
Amity: Well we have mostly everything covered. All we have left is the bosses and boss powerups. Let’s go with the powerups to start
Willow: So in order to give players the joy of new moves to obtain, not knowing how to come up with a large amount of new moves, and not have you be too overpowered at the start, the game has you gain every move from Crash 3 in the same order in this game. However, the super body slam essentially is a side route reward as Traveler’s Tales didn’t know where else to put it. The game is designed to be able to be finished without it, so maybe they added this for completion sake?
Gus: The game does give us one new power up ...and it’s a gimmick for slowly tip-toeing over random sets of nitro crates one couldn’t go over otherwise. Yeah… they were at a loss on what to make as a new move, huh?
Luz: Sad to say that may be the case. Now, for something more positive,it’s time for the final part of this game to dedicate time to. The bosses. See, to play into the Elementals being the big threat along with Crunch, each boss is pretty much Crunch made into an element form we fight based on the element of the Elemental. We start with Earth, then Water, followed by Fire, and finally Wind. The fifth and final boss is Crunch with every Elemental powering with a machine. To be fair, I think the bosses are pretty good.
Amity: Yeah. The boss fights aren’t exactly anything to write home about but they do their job well and aren’t unbearable to fight…unless you are unlucky with the Py-Ro boss.
Willow: Anyways, once you collect all 25 crystals and beat the fifth and final boss, you are tasked with collecting all the gems and then fighting said final boss again. To get the gems, you also have to play through five new stages unlocked through collecting the relics.
Gus: Once you get all the gems and beat Crunch again, you get the true ending where Crunch is free from being Cortex’s lackey and he becomes a friend/family member from this point on. As for Cortex and Uka-Uka… they escape the destruction of the space station but end up stranded in the arctic.
Luz: Well, that was Crash Bandicoot The Wrath of Cortex. And I found the game a fun ride even with all its blemishes.
Amity/Gus/Willow: Agreed.
Amity: The game has a fair amount of technical issues to deal with. The game even manages to make the monkey bar segments go slower than a snail.
Gus: The developers also tried too hard to make several new gameplay styles that are adequate but used too scarcely to leave a meaningful impact.
Amity: But the game is also a great Crash game when it succeeds.
Willow: The graphics are decent for the era and many of the enemies and characters still look good today.
Gus: The game has a massive variety of themes to go through and no level ever feels the same as another at any point, even when a theme is shared.
Luz: That’s not even getting into the amazing soundtrack and feel of controlling the characters and vehicles. Is the game perfect? No. It’s a 7 out of 10 game overall. But I think it’s a game that should be remembered warts and all. And for a game to be that after only a year of development for a studio making this type of game for the first time? That’s an amazing feat to accomplish.
The four appeared in the bedroom one final time with Luz still in her short sleeved casual pajamas barefoot as her toes wiggled.
“Well, it’s been a pleasure to share this experience with you,” Amity thanked.
“I hope you all enjoyed the video and we’ll see you all next time!” Luz waved goodbye to the viewers.
Q&A Time Post Video
A few days after the main review went live, a smaller video appeared on the channel.
Luz: "Hey guys! The response to the Crash video was amazing! We saw a few questions in the comments that we just had to answer, so we're doing a quick Q&A from the studio floor!"
Amity: "And by 'studio floor,' she means she’s literally sitting on her rug. Luz, please, we have chairs."
Luz: Aw, but it’s comfy down here right now. The rug is just so soft!
Kingler97: "I noticed Luz is always barefoot in these reviews, even when she changes outfits. Is that a studio rule or just a Luz thing?"
Luz: (Blushing and wiggling her toes nervously) "Oh, uh, it's definitely a 'me' thing! I've always had... sensory preferences? Shoes feel like cages for my feet when I'm trying to focus. I wear shoes when I have to, but I try to be barefoot when I can. Plus, it's my bedroom! Why would I wear shoes in my sanctuary?"
Amity: (Giving a small, supportive smile) "It’s actually helped the rest of us relax, too. Though I still prefer my boots for 'professionalism,' the 'Barefoot Studio' vibe Luz has is officially part of our brand now."
SonAmyGirl99: "Luz, you said you like female leads—who is your favorite platforming girl?"
Luz: "Oh, that’s easy! I’ve been playing a lot of Shantae lately, but Amity actually got me into Bayonetta... even if the combat is way more intense than I'm used to!"
LiveWire834: "You guys mentioned playing the GameCube version of WOC. Do you think the GameCube was better than the PS2, or was it just better for this specific game?"
Gus: "Ooh, fighting words! Technical-wise, the GameCube usually had the edge on power and loading, but the PS2 had the library of legends. For Wrath of Cortex, GameCube is the only way to go if you value your sanity during load screens."
Amity: "Agreed. I prefer the PS2 controller for most things, but I’m not waiting forty seconds to enter a portal. Efficiency is key."
KermitDude17: "Amity, you seemed really defensive of Luz when she was nervous at the start. How long have you two been this close?"
Amity: (Instantly turning red) "I—well—we’re co-hosts! It’s only logical to ensure your partner is in the right headspace for a technical breakdown."
Luz: (Rubbing the back of her neck) "Amity’s just amazing like that. I used to think I was too much for people to handle, but she actually listens to my rambles about games and fictional stuff. It's... it's a new feeling for me."
Willow: (Off-camera, whispering loudly) "They’re obsessed with each other."