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Ri’kara had never seen an ocean before.
At first, it was overwhelming watching the boundless blue shimmer and shift further than her vision could ever hope to reach, shaking hands at the horizon with sky dressed in the same hue. Waves lapped at her feet where the water met the pale, gritty sand, cool and inviting in contrast to the hot Aiur sunlight streaming down on the little beach.
Alarak was on Slayn again, leaving her to her own devices and bored out of her mind. This time, though, her friends were available to drag her out to wherever they wanted to take her; a secluded cove peppered with rock pools that opened out to what seemed to be the edge of the planet itself.
“It’s pretty, isn’t it?” Uljia put her arm around her easily, pressing her smooth cheek against hers and looking out at the view.
“I feel tiny.”
“More than usual?” She giggled. “I know how you feel. You can see pretty far down into the chasms on Slayn, but here it’s just water. Dhyzir tried to suggest I go for a swim in it, but you couldn’t pay me to step foot into something I could never hope to see the bottom of, no matter how much he blinks his pretty green eyes at me.”
“And I have tried to blink them.” As though summoned by the mere mention of him, Dhyzir appeared, smiling softly at them both before moving further out into the shallows. For once, he didn’t have that skull pauldron or his other armour, instead dressed as sparsely as they were for the heat and the possibility of being soaked by the waves. “Are you sure you won’t try, love?”
“I am sure. I’ll enjoy that view, though.” Uljia crooned, eyes briefly scanning his body before she let out a soft giggle. “Have fun.”
The Nerazim smirked, and then nodded, diving into the water like it was nothing and dunking his head briefly into the blue. The way they looked at each other put a pit of recognition in Ri’kara’s chest, unease squirming in her ribcage as she thought about talking to Uljia about it, but…
Alarak’s cord decoration suddenly felt like a heavy weight pulling at the side of her head. Ilira’s voice followed soon after, gentle but accusatory tone putting a pit in her abdomen. No. She couldn’t bring attention to it again, not yet. Maybe not ever.
From nearby, Inzar yelled, a large splash followed by the giggling of Xin and Ni’och. They both lazily glanced over at the hulking Tal’darim on his back in the shallows, the two children climbing over him and splashing him with more water as he laughed and tried to get his head up from below the waves.
“I guess we have two of us to teach the baby how to swim then, hm?” Ri’kara laughed a little herself, glancing briefly at the slight curve of Uljia’s abdomen, bigger than last she saw her.
She smiled. “I suppose, though I doubt he can actually swim any more than we can.”
“Will you both stop trying to drown him?” Ilira snapped, though there was barely any bite behind it as she waded in to pick up the small creatures from their adoptive father so that he could sit up and blink the sea water from his eyes. Verinis followed just after, helping her lift them as they struggled and suddenly made themselves as limp as they could to get out of their grip.
“At least you know it’ll be safe.”
Uljia looked soft all of a sudden, watching them play. Taking her hand, she led her over to the shade of a tree and sat down carefully in the sand, pulling her with her. After a few moments, she sighed.
“I never thought we’d end up so lucky.” Her eyes welled. “Dhyzir makes me so happy, Ilira’s met Ilnedas and adores her… Inzar will have another youngling to look after…”
Ri’kara put her hand against her arm, and she wiped her eyes quickly, looking at her in that sisterly way she often did.
“Now we just need to focus on you.”
“Me?”
“Mm. You haven’t asked for any matchups in a while. You haven’t even told me how the others went!” She grabbed her by the shoulders and gently shook. “Spill!”
Embarrassment turned the little Tal’darim’s face lilac, thinking over all the awkward attempts at some sort of romantic evening with the Protoss her friend had picked out for her.
It was difficult to try and put into words the strange, gnawing feeling that clung to her hearts each time they had got close, tried to kiss her or hold her. Her body had tensed, her tone when speaking to them nonchalant as though trying to make them like the idea of her less. It wasn’t at all like how she had begun to feel whenever he was close.
But she couldn’t say that.
Finally, she settled on something simple. “Ghildras was nice.”
“Of course you’d like him.” She giggled. “Did you…?”
Passing a hand over her crest, she shrugged, staring at a spot in the sand rather than look at her. “Kind of? Well, he was very understanding. I’ll see him again as a friend, but…”
Her companion gave a sage nod. “Maybe you’re just more comfortable with someone you know well.” Finally, her eyes dropped to the new clasp on her cord, and she tilted her head, a glint in her eye as she added; “What about… that ambassador of yours?”
She frowned, trying to ignore what she was suggesting. “I already told Ilira that this isn’t his—”
“As if I believe you.” She crooned, putting an arm around her shoulders again. “I know I didn’t trust him to begin with after you… After what happened, but Ilira told me he’d helped out with that creep, even if it was indirectly.”
“Yes because I made him promise not to and he found a loophole.”
“I’m glad he did!” She shook her again. “Thinking you could deal with that again by yourself, ‘Kara. Come on. I want to thank him; you should bring him the next time.”
Ri’kara couldn’t help but recoil a bit, shaking her head quickly. “You know I can’t do that.”
“But why? What could possibly be so bad that you can’t have a colleague meet your friends?”
The idea of having her every reaction, every move, scrutinised by Uljia in relation to her prickly friend was almost as agonising as the terrible pit in her chest at the idea that their cover could be blown in an instant if they took a risk like that. If he spoke even once, if he was pushed… Then they’d know exactly who she was with all the time. They’d find out just how much she had to lie, just how deep into this hole she had dug herself, just how she felt about him…
“It’s just not feasible; if I was a target, he could be too. I still have to bring Verinis around with me all the time because of the risk.”
Uljia looked disappointed. “Well, I enjoy that, at least. They get along with Ilira and Ilnedas.”
“Yes, it’s nice. They’ve been very kind to me, so it’s only fair I introduce them to all of you.” She shrugged, thankful that it seemed to have worked. “I just… Not him. I’ll pass along your thanks, though.”
“Fine, I suppose.” She rolled her eyes, finally letting go of her and stretching out again on the sand. “At least tell me you’ll bring him here on your own or something.”
“Maybe.”
“Good. It could be a date.”
Ri’kara rolled her eyes in turn, shooting her a half-hearted glare. She was being so persistent for some reason. “Uljia.”
She put up both hands and giggled. “Alright, alright. I’m only teasing.”
“Don’t let Ilira hear you.”
At that, her companion narrowed her eyes. “Why not?”
For a moment, the little Tal’darim stopped, lacing her fingers together. I thought those two told each other everything… She didn’t know if it was a good idea, but deep down she knew she’d get it out of her eventually.
“Ialdir must have told her some of his delusions. She asked me if any of it was true, if I was maybe with him… I just don’t want her hearing you teasing me and get the wrong idea.”
A frown settled across her face, and she sighed. “Inzar told me what he was saying. I don’t know why she’d believe that.”
“She said she didn’t, but she still asked. It was… Humiliating. I wish that she wouldn’t treat me like I was a youngling; I know what I’m doing.”
The little Tal’darim hoped that saying it aloud enough times would make it true.
“I know you do, ‘Kara.” She patted her shoulder. “Still, I want to be able to tease you without that being what you worry about. I’ll talk to her.”
“You don’t have to—”
“She’s my sister. It’s my job to set her straight.”
They sat in silence for a while, watching the waves, watching their friends splash around.
“Are you happy, at least?” Uljia asked quietly. “I know that you’ll be able to see us more now, but you’re still so busy that I worry.”
Ri’kara shrugged, pushing the sand around with her feet. “I think I’ll be happier now. I’m free, and even if I don’t have what you’re all getting with your partners, I’m not lonely. I have all of you.”
“And the ambassador?”
Her eyes slid to the side. It took all of her willpower not to let a blush creep onto her crest at the thought of that conversation they had in his chambers. ‘Friend’ didn’t cover it.
“… He said we were, so I think I do.”
Uljia laughed softly, shaking her head. “’Kara, you are hopeless.”
She shrugged again, embarrassed. Part of her thought, as she had thought with Uljia and her sister, that there was pity there, that there was no possible way that anyone could have wanted to be friends with her on her own merit.
“I am allowed to be cautious; he is still a Slayn Tal’darim.”
“That’s my line, ‘Kara.” She giggled. “If a Slayn Tal’darim uses the word ‘friend’ so willingly around you, and has blatantly told you that he sees you as such, honestly? That’s a friend for the rest of your life. You must have had a really big effect on him.”
She was right, of course. The little Tal’darim couldn’t help but smile slightly. “I guess so.”
“Hey, you two get over here instead of sitting there yapping the whole time!” Inzar yelled from the water, holding his two younglings up on his shoulders.
Uljia laughed, getting up and holding her hand out to her friend. “He’s right. We can talk a bit more later.”
Ri’kara nodded, taking her hand and letting her pull her to her feet. For once she felt light, carefree, looking out at the huge gulf of ocean still glittering and deciding then that maybe she wasn’t so small after all.