Archive of Our Own

Eight pm on the dot, Stacey came home to an empty apartment. It was way too quiet for a Friday night—no messages from her girlfriend who wasn’t really her girlfriend… but she was kinda her girlfriend. Half-girlfriend. Non-committal, romantically ambiguous affair, maybe-lover, sometimes-wife, limited-edition winky-dink—

Wait!!!!!!

What do you call a girl you made out with on a regular basis? What do you call a girl who took all of your stupid movie recommendations seriously? What do you call a girl who called you in the middle of the night just to sing you a song? What do you call a girl who offered to carry you over her shoulder under the pouring rain?

A whore.

A graveyard in the making.

At least that was what her friend Gwen liked to say. But Stacey called it magic. And no, it wasn’t because she was superstitious or religious or naive or because she used to eat pencil erasers or because she sometimes liked to overuse antibiotics.

That was just her truth. Colet was magic.

Her friends had tried to convince her otherwise. But so what if Colet was a little mean and a little off putting and disappeared a little too often? That was all part of the charm. Besides, they never heard her sing, never traced the contour of the veins in her hands when she played the guitar, never saw the stick figures Colet drew of them in their future house—with crooked fences and thrifted couches and overfed cats who never made it up the stairs.

So as far as Stacey was concerned, her friend was just jaded and bitter and would never experience love in its purest form.

She slammed her laptop shut the moment Gwen walked in, carrying four bottles of gin bilog and four sachets of pineapple juice, the only reasonable ingredients for a Friday night. She walked straight into the kitchen and rummaged through Stacey’s fridge.

“Gulat na gulat ka pagpasok ko ah,” Gwen said, running water over blocks of ice. “Nanonood ka ng bold no?”

“Hindi ah.” Stacey discarded her laptop on the couch, skipping to the kitchen to either help or complain about Gwen’s drink of choice. “Masyado pang maaga para sa bold.”

One pitcher, one half-working lighter, and a few spills of pineapple juice later, Gwen was already teasing Stacey about being completely impervious to pain, telling her that she would rather tap dance barefoot over scattered thumbtacks than be anywhere near a chronic womanizer. The alleged chronic womanizer in question was no other than Colet Vergara.

“First of all, wala siyang ibang babae.” Stacey sat opposite Gwen on the floor, passing a glass filled to the brim with mixed gin. “… I think.”

“Sus,” Gwen responded with a painful eye-roll. “Naalala ka lang naman ng Colet na yan pag lasing siya.” 

“Ikaw rin naman ah,” Stacey laughed. “Andito ka lang naman kasi di ka rin nirereplyan.”

“… okay back to Colet.”

Stacey was never good at handling alcohol, it only ever brought her strange experiences. That was how she met Colet in the first place.

Picture this:

A Saturday night. A night one should never trust when you haven’t been loved properly in a long time. Stacey walked out of the bar to breathe in something other than the collective stink and sweat from much younger people inside. She leaned against the metal railing of the surprisingly empty smoking area and fumbled with her matches until they slipped off her hands and fell.

“You look too cool para mag posporo lang,” said a voice from behind her. “Lighter?”

Stacey turned and saw Colet Vergara for the first time that night, an inch and a half shorter, wearing a white muscle tee over a pair of jean shorts and beige crocs that should not have looked perfect for the ambiance of the place. Even from behind, Stacey could tell she smelled deliriously sweet. Though it was the grandfather glasses she wore that made Stacey accept her offer.

But instead of handing the lighter, Colet snapped it open and gestured for Stacey to lean in. Colet smiled at her through the trembling flame, and Stacey was done—done trying, done looking, done saying no.

There wasn’t much conversation that night, Colet’s soft lips didn’t really leave much room for talking. The night ended with Colet walking her home, and when Stacey complained about the pain in her ankles, Colet kneeled down to guide her off her high heels. She gave Stacey her crocs and walked barefoot for the rest of the night.

Stacey told Gwen about her the morning after, while struggling with the best hangover of her life over last night’s rice and charred corned beef.

“Vergara no? Familiar.” This was the last thing Gwen said before uncovering Colet’s entire history at the tip of her thumbs. “Tang ina,” she continued. “Kaya pala familiar, barkada ni Sheena ‘to eh.”

“Sheena mo?”

“Buti ka pa ina-acknowledge mo na akin siya,” Gwen frowned. “Pero siya, hindi pa nakaka-catch up.”

“So ano… bff sila ni Sheena? Red flag na ba yon?”

Gwen sighed and leaned closer. “Hindi mo ba alam?”

“Na ano?”

“Si Colet Vergara ay isang notorious na gangster. Sa kanya lang natatakot lahat—bloods, crips, KK—,”

“Tang ina naman nito,” Stacey said, grabbing Gwen’s phone in a split-second. “Kahit kailan di ka makausap nang maayos.”

“Gusto mo ba silipin natin yung mga ex niya?” 

The offer made Stacey pause. She wanted to say yes, it seemed like the logical next step. But she knew herself enough to know it would only drive her crazy and make even her favorite meals taste awful. So she decided not to.

She’d save all the stalking for when she wanted to lose a few pounds. 

But the more she got attached to the enigma that was Colet Vergara, the more it bothered her that she couldn’t put a name and a face on every woman who came before her. Every time Colet disappeared or even took a little longer to respond, she imagined her kissing someone else’s neck, or holding some other girl’s hand while they walked home, or, worse, singing to someone else—using the same fucking songs.

“Beh shot mo na,” Gwen said after a stretch of silence. They had a horror movie on but they weren’t paying attention, they spent most of their hangout mindlessly scrolling through their phones, religiously rereading messages from the only two women capable of driving them insane.

“Wait lang.” Stacey dragged herself closer, showing Gwen something from her cracked phone. “Ready na ako.”

“Ready sa ano?”

“Ipakita mo na sa’kin mga ex niya.”

First one in Gwen’s hit list (she’d been saving this since she found out about Colet, she liked to pretend it was because she wanted to protect her friend, but really, she just wanted someone to accompany her in her post-Sheena misery. Also, it was important to note that she did not have any proof of the women actually dating Colet, the hit list was based on intuition alone. Because according to no one else but her, she was always, always, the best judge of character):

Aiah Arceta. Five feet and eleven inches. Pageant queen, champion debater, volunteers at animal shelters. That wasn’t Gwen describing her, by the way. That was literally what she wrote on her profile. Though judging from the pile of under-curated pictures, all of those things stopped being true in 2020.

It was almost ten o’clock, and they’d already sailed through two pitchers of gin bilog—enough to make it harder to mix, enough to make it sweeter to taste, and definitely enough for them to make dumb decisions.

First post, front and center, was Colet and Aiah smiling side by side. The post was from Monday, less than fifteen hours after their weekend rendezvous. There was no caption either, just a collection of random pictures of Aiah doing random things. 

So who was Colet to her, exactly? And why was she important enough for a front feature?

“Kupal talaga si Vergara oh,” Gwen groaned, drinking another glass of gin in one go. “Ayaw mo kasi maniwala sa’kin eh. Sat-Sun lang schedule mo.”

“Aawayin ko ‘to.” Stacey wasn’t sure if she was joking or not, so she adjusted her motives to Gwen’s reaction. Luckily, she laughed and nodded. “G ba? Icha-chat ko.”

And so she typed:

Bakit mo nilalandi ang asawa ko? 

They laughed so hard when she showed it to Gwen, accidentally hitting the coffee table with their bare feet. It shook hard enough to spill the glass of gin. Failing to compose themselves, they gathered a bunch of paper towels and wiped the floor between waves of laughter.

All that movement made them dizzier, so Stacey didn’t immediately understand what happened until she stared at her phone longer.

She accidentally hit send.

And Aiah was already typing.

“I beg your pardon?”

They froze, Stacey gripped Gwen’s arm while she nervously bit her nails. They were shaking so hard they could almost feel the gin turn to bile in real time.

“Shit,” Gwen breathed, blinking faster now. Maybe if she blinked hard enough they could go back to who they were before they started stalking Colet’s previous conquests. “English teh. Wag ka nang lumaban.”

“Putang ina mo, anong isasagot ko dito?!”

In the midst of their panicked state, Aiah messaged again:

“Lol. Is this about Colet Vergara? I checked your profile.”

This. This is what her mother meant when she warned her about the internet as a child.

They were beating each other up now, pulling hairs and smacking heads.

“Bobo ka kasi!” 

“Mas bobo ka!”

Once Stacey was finally able to kick Gwen away, she turned her attention back to her phone and started drafting something, anything.

“Mama mo lol.”

Delete.

“Sorry po. Na-hack ako.”

Delete.

“Hi, Aiah! Did I get your attention? Haha.

I’m a Licensed Financial Advisor pala. 

You might be interested in getting life insurance.

SunLife offers insurance with investment. They also have insurance for health. 

Below are the details and benefits for your initial reference:

BANK VS. SUNLIFE VUL

(in 10yrs at age 25)

▪︎ BANK SAVINGS

From: Php2,000/month for 10 years

To: Php240,000

NO Life Insurance

▪︎ But if SUNLIFE VUL 🌞 (Insurance + Investment)

From: Php2,000/ month for 10 years

To: Php 5,000,000 projected benefits at age 65

Plus 1Million Life Insurance.”

She looked at Gwen for moral support (there was nothing moral about support when it came from Gwen, she would say yes to anything if it was funny enough), and then she hit send.

Then she threw her phone away as if it were a ticking time bomb.

“Damn.” Stacey ran a hand through her tangled hair. “Near-death experience na ata yun.”

“Inom ka muna ulit, tas proceed na tayo sa next target.”

Girl number two took Gwen a little over two weeks to find. One private account after another, but women like her didn’t give up easily. 

She found her on LinkedIn. Jhoanna Christine Robles. Started a new position at Special Broadcasting Service (SBS) Australia. That was it.

“Yan lang nahagilap mo?!”

“Uy sorry naman,” Gwen took another shot. “May limitations din naman ako bilang tao.”

“Pa’no mo siya na-connect kay Colet?”

“Sabay sila nag intern sa radio station something… 2018. Pati, same school in college. Tapos, please hold—“ she raised one finger, typing and searching for something else with her free hand. When she finally found it, she turned her screen towards Stacey. “Tagged picture nila ni Colet. Ang cute no? College days, wedding booth. Tang ina men si Sheena pala nag post nito.”

Stacey frowned, Colet wouldn’t even pose with her in photobooths. “Ah wala. Nasa Australia na yan. Mas lamang ako, malapit ako eh.”

“Ikaw bahala, pekpek mo yan.”

Girl number three was Mikha Lim. Vegetarian. No meat, no sugar, pilates coach, wall climber. But apparently, the same discipline didn’t apply to her alcohol consumption. All of her photos were taken in expensive bars, and she liked leaving over-thirsty comments on women’s posts.

Which was how Gwen found her. She commented under a photo of Colet chugging a bottle of tequila:

“Danggg pretty girl what else can dat mouth do?”

And Colet had the fucking NERVE to respond:

“Come over so I can show you. Wink wink.”

Stacey was visibly having a mental breakdown. Gwen almost considered not showing the next comment, but hey, you only live once, better spend it torturing your obsessive friend. Besides, she honestly thought Stacey already saw it.

Oops.

The next comment was under a picture of Colet surrounded by her cats:

“She likes em furry or wateva.”

And Colet answered with:

“dm me to unlock my other furry friend.”

Stacey started thrashing on the floor, throwing a childlike tantrum, screaming at the top of her lungs. If she hated the comments this much, Gwen thought, she definitely, definitely would die after the next girl.

“Putang inaaaa,” Stacey whined. “Ano ba yang furry furry na yan? Mahilig siya mascot?!! Gusto niya ba magsuot ako ng jollibee na costume?!!

“Kaya mo pa?” Gwen eyed her suspiciously. “Hindi ako marunong mag CPR just in case magka heart attack ka.”

“Hindi lang halata, pero I’m stronger than I look, bitch. Hit me!!”

“Arte mo, saksakin kita diyan eh.”

Girl number four on the hit list was a personal favorite, Gwen saved the best for last.

She knew God was real when she saw Maloi Ricalde’s profile. Her first post was in December 2022, and her last post was in December 2024. Three anniversary pictures. Three stupid anniversary pictures to twist the knife under Stacey’s skin.

“‘Year one down, forever to go.’” Gwen read, trying not to wince. “Yuck. Kala mo kinasal eh no?”

“Ssshhh sige na basahin mo lang!”

Gwen cleared her throat before reading the next one. “‘My love, year two has been amazing with you. Thank you for being the best partner, the best girl, the love of my life.’ Bla bla bla… ang haba, basta gets mo na yon, nagmamahalan sila.”

“Eto na yung last,” Gwen glanced at Stacey for permission, but she would have continued without it anyway. “‘We’ve had our ups and downs—‘“

“Ayan na!” Stacey clapped once. “Nasa ups and downs na tayo.”

“Wag sapaw,” Gwen rolled her eyes. “Nawala tuloy ako… ay, okay. ‘We’ve had our ups and downs, but I’d like to believe we came out stronger. I love you so much. And I hope despite everything, you will continue to choose me everyday, because I’m sure, Colet Vergara. I’m so so sure it hurts. I’m sure you’re the one. Happy three years to good ol’ you and me!’”

She gave a sad little sigh, then continued. “Sorry, Stace, pero parang ship ko sila.”

“Ulol. Basahin mo yung mga reply ni Colet.”

“Wait,” Gwen drank her shot halfway. “Nung first anniversary I love you eme eme lang din. Nung secondddd… nag-greet lang tas nag I love you ulit. Yung third naman…”

“Ano?”

“Sure ka ba?”

“OO NGA.”

“‘I love you, my love. Even if we don’t make it in some distorted version of the future, know that I will look for you in every woman I meet. Mahal na mahal kita, Maloi. Mahal. Na. Mahal. Everyone else is second best. Happy number three to you and me!’”

Gwen smiled apologetically, moving backwards in case Stacey decided it was her last day on earth and started beating her up with the shot glass.

Instead, Stacey’s breaths slowed. She let a tear fall from her face without wiping it. “Ang cute ng ‘happy number three to you and me.’” She said, filling up the half empty glass, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. “Oks lang. Di naman masakit.”

“Sorryyyy,” Gwen said, taking the glass from her hand. “Shot ko na ‘to for you.”

“Game over na.”

“Ano ka ba?” Gwen laughed, snapping her out of her disenchantment by smacking her shoulder. “Mahal ka rin naman ni Colet.”

“Sinabi niya sa’yo yan?”

“Show don’t tell kasi, Stacey. Alam mo naman yung clichè diba? Actions speak louder than words.”

“‘Actions speak louder… then words,’ dapat eh. Para may galaw, tapos may confirmation.”

Maybe Gwen understood, maybe she didn’t. Hell if Stacey even knew what she meant.

“Ang OA mo! Defend yourself. Ano ba mga ginawa ni Colet na romantic?”

Exhibit A: Spin The Bottle

Colet didn’t spin it. She just pointed it directly at Stacey and said: “Sorry, baby ko lang gusto kong i-kiss eh.”

Exhibit B: Ten More Minutes

Stacey didn’t notice until their fifth Monday morning together. Colet would be the one to turn her alarm off, and then she’d scoot closer under the covers. In mornings when Stacey was facing the other way, Colet would always turn her around to kiss her forehead, whisper a tired ‘good morning’ against her skin, and pull her impossibly closer.

And, like her body was actively counting the seconds until she had to let go, right on the ten-minute mark, she would nudge Stacey awake in the kindest voice Stacey had ever heard.

“Gising na, baby,” She would say, except she never eased her grip on Stacey’s body. Any attempt Stacey made to move away was met with a shy little pout. And like clockwork, she would plead. “Ten more minutes, please?”

Waking up in Colet’s arms on weekdays meant she’d be ten minutes late to work. But she never complained.

Exhibit C: Drunk, Running.

The first time they fought, they were standing where they met—same smoking area, same gold marlboros, almost different people.

Some girl had been too handsy with Colet inside the bar. She didn’t acknowledge her, but she didn’t discourage her either. Stacey clenched her fists so hard until her nails dug into her palm, stole Colet’s stash of cigarettes, and then ran out of the bar trying so hard not to cry.

“Baby, okay ka lang?” Colet’s voice was as unstable as her footsteps. She spun Stacey around when she reached her, steadying her by holding her shoulders. “Are you crying?”

“No.”

“Umiiyak ka eh,” Colet teased, and pulled her by the waist until their bodies were flushed against each other. “May nagawa ba ako?”

“Wala.”

“Yung babae ba?”

“Gago!” Stacey shoved her too hard; she almost tripped over the loose stones on the gravel path. “Alam mo naman pala!”

“Baby naman.” Colet was already limping from the almost fall, but she was still smiling and walking towards Stacey. “Please don’t cry.”

“Inuutusan mo ako?!”

“Nag please naman ako.”

Stacey wondered in that very moment whether there was something fundamentally wrong with her for her to be easily persuaded like that. A few months ago she wouldn’t have taken a second look at this shorter stranger who somehow managed to work her way into her pathetic little life.

So she turned around, lighting up her cigarette with trembling hands. It was then that she felt arms wrapped around her waist, followed by a weak pull and a stifled grunt.

“Colet!” She protested, trying to escape. Her lighter and cigarettes slipped out of her hands. “What the fuck—ano ba?!”

Colet groaned behind her before she took a few breathless steps back. When Stacey turned, she was bent over with her hands on her knees, trying and failing to catch her breath.

“Ang bigat mo pala.”

“Vergara, nasisiraan ka na ba ng bait?!”

“No,” Colet scratched the back of her neck, her cheeks turning red. “I just thought—alam mo yung sa mga favorite movies mo? I wanted to carry you habang naiinis ka. Gets ba? Tapos magre-reklamo ka, hahampasin mo ‘ko, tapos ibababa kita. Tapos ikikiss kita. Tapos... magiging happy ka na ulit. The end.”

Stacey didn’t say anything, mostly because what she really wanted to do was laugh at Colet’s sad attempt at simulating a tacky romcom scene. And apparently, silence turned Colet into a blabbering mess, which was a miracle to witness.

“… sorry. That was weird.”

“Stace? Galit ka ba?”

“It was cuter in my head,” Colet was sweating, she started pacing back and forth with her hands in her pockets. “Sorry. Are you okay? Did I make you uncomfortable? Sorry. I just wanted to—ewan ko. I just…”

Stacey still didn’t say anything. 

“I just—“ Colet gave a small, frantic laugh, before finally straightening up and focusing her eyes on Stacey. “H—hindi ko pala kaya.” 

“…na buhatin ako?!”

“Na umiiyak ka.”

Stacey was drunk, running towards her with her heart on her sleeve. She caught Colet’s face with both hands and launched herself until their mouths clashed—wild and wet and somehow dehydrated from all the alcohol. “I fucking hate you,” she breathed against Colet’s agitated lips. Colet wrapped her arms around her waist and whispered a soft and resounding, “I know.”

Gwen sipped her drink slowly. They were definitely too old for this kind of bullshit.

“Romantic na ba yon?” Stacey asked, embarrassed. But not embarrassed enough by Gwen’s standards.

“Kalandian lang ata.”

They were quiet after that, they had nothing coherent left to say to each other.

Stacey realized she had blacked out when she heard a series of loud knocks. Gwen wasn’t with her anymore, she figured she already made herself welcome in her bed. She barely managed to carry her own weight off the floor, at least not until she heard Colet’s voice.

“Stacey?”

“Baby are you okay?”

It was happening. She wasn’t imagining it. “Wait lang,” she yelled, before bolting towards the kitchen to brush her teeth.

Her knees were shaking when she opened the door. “You came,” she said.

“Sabi mo eh.”

“Huh?”

“Nag text ka.” Colet stepped forward and handed her phone, kissing her quickly on the cheek. “You don’t remember?”

She glanced around the living room and gave a breathy ‘ah’ after seeing the discarded pitcher and empty gin bottles on the coffee table. “Kaya pala nag message,” she teased. “Lasing.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay lang basta ikaw,” Colet replied, walking inside and flopping down on the couch without much thought. Stacey didn’t follow.

“Come here,” she added, patting her lap twice. “Sit ka dito.”

Stacey walked to the couch slowly, sitting a few inches away. Colet had the same worried look from their first fight. “Sabi ko, dito,” she pulled Stacey closer, she was surprisingly strong enough to carry her slightly until she finally settled on her lap.

All Stacey could offer was a sheepish smile. Colet clicked her tongue, desperate to break the awful silence. “Akala ko may nangyari sa’yo.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind Stacey’s ear.

“Lasing ka pa ba?” She added, laughing quietly. “Hello? Kilala mo pa ba ako? Do you even know what’s happening right now?”

“Sino si Aiah?”

That made Colet laugh louder, she pushed herself up for a kiss, but Stacey blocked her face.

“Sino si Aiah?”

“A friend.” Colet responded with a dejected sigh.

“Close friend?”

“Just a friend, baby. Why?”

“Eh sino si Jhoanna?”

“Kiss muna.”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Okay,” Colet scratched an eyebrow, shaking her head. “College girlfriend. A whole other lifetime ago.”

“Si Mikha? Ba’t ka nilalandi?!”

“What?!”

“Nevermind,” Stacey said. “I don’t even want to know.”

“We used to… you know,” Colet paused as if trying to soften the blow. “But dalawang beses lang. After Jhoanna. Parang inside joke na lang namin ngayon lahat.”

“Okay.”

Colet leaned closer again, she just wanted a kiss. But just as she was finally getting closer, Stacey asked: “Si Maloi?”

“Stace…” the shift in her tone was enough to break Stacey’s heart.

“Sorry,” Stacey responded, she really was. “Di mo naman kailangan sumagot.”

“Maloi was…” Colet ran her hand through her hair, then set it back down on Stacey’s thighs. “Something.”

“Anong something?!”

“Something I never thought I could survive.”

Stacey nodded slowly. “Bakit kayo nag break?”

“Sabi niya kailangan niya ng space.”

“So…”

“So… nasa outer space na ako ngayon. Hawak ko na ang mga bituin. Naka-kandong pa sa’kin. Nagda-drunk text pa nga.”

“Alam mo ikaw…” Stacey giggled uncontrollably, pinching Colet’s nose until it turned red. “Kainis ka.”

“Ano pa ba? What else do you need to know?”

“Ewan ko. Rebound lang ba ako?”

“Fuck, no.” Colet shook her head slowly, maintaining her semi-smile. “Of course not, baby.”

“Eh anong laban ko sa three years?”

“Baby, bakit ka pa lalaban?” Colet touched her chin and ran her thumb against her lips. “Mm? Sino ba’ng naka kandong sa’kin ngayon? Sino ba yung sinusuyo ko kahit di ko naman alam na may kasalanan ako?” She grinned this time, showing more of her teeth than she normally would. “I have three answers.”

“Si Lindtsey.”

She gave Stacey a kiss on the cheek.

Stacey held back a squirm.

“Si Aubrey.”

Another kiss—on the dimple on Stacey’s chin.

“And si Stacey.”

This time, she aimed for the lips.

It was now or never. Stacey had to rip the band aid off somehow. No mercy. No survivors. “Ano ba tayo?”

“Cute.” Colet didn’t even blink when she said it, she didn’t back off either—just kept hovering near Stacey’s mouth. She trailed her palm lower on Stacey’s waist, her thumb silently threatening to graze the skin underneath her tight cotton blend shirt. She smiled at Stacey then, reaching for her freezing hand this time, and without breaking eye contact, she slowly dragged Stacey’s knuckle towards her face until it finally touched her lips.

She kissed it once, then again and again. When she was certain Stacey wasn’t going to pull her hand back, she kissed the tips of her fingers one by one, wearing the same devious grin across her face. “Cute tayo.”

Stacey realized Colet hadn't stopped watching her since she opened the door. She had the same sleepy look she wore on Sunday mornings—when they refused to wake up before noon, when all they wanted to eat were sour patches and ice cream in bed. Before Colet would magically realize she had somewhere else to be.

Her cheeks were so sore from holding back a scream, and every ounce of fight and dignity she had was evaporating at the speed of light. “Kinikilig ako, teka lang!” She said, in a much lighter voice than she expected. If Colet kissed her again she’d have no choice but to believe everything that would ever come out of her mouth, to apologize on her behalf, to feed her, cater to her, attend to her needs—

Teka lang, ano ako, nanay?!

As if she regained sobriety out of nowhere, she sat up straight and glared. “Sandali… wag mo akong dinadaan sa mga ganyan mo, Vergara.”

“What?” Sure enough, Colet kissed her shoulder. “Wala naman akong ginagawa.”

Stacey tried so hard not to give in. “Exactly. Wala kang ginagawa,” she paused to think, then sighed and continued. “You know what? Pag weekend, two days straight magkasama tayo. Sobrang sweet mo, bine-baby mo ako—“

“Baby naman talaga kita.”

“Ano ba yan! Kainis talaga!” Stacey almost smiled again, but she swallowed it and rolled her eyes. “Tapos after… parang iiwasan mo ako, di ka ulit magpaparamdam. Feeling ko, kailangan ko pang magmakaawa para mag text ka man lang.”

Colet opened her mouth to say something, but Stacey didn’t even give her a chance.

“Wag mong sasabihin na busy ka lang kasi alam kong wala kang trabaho.”

“Akala ko kasi chill lang tayo.”

“Ano?!” Stacey hissed. “Anong chill?”

“You know, chill lang. Like… okay lang sa’yo yung set up. Cool lang, gan’on.”

“Colet, mukha ba akong cool?!”

“Yeah… I mean—hindi ba? Kasi pag di ako nagte-text sa’yo, hindi ka rin naman nagte-text eh.”

“Eh bakit pag lasing ka saka ka lang tumatawag? Sobrang random pa minsan.“

“Wala lang,” Colet shrugged, smiling wider now. “Para hindi predictable. Never let them know your next move.”

“Ewan ko sa’yo, Colet.”

Before Stacey could even think about trying to walk away, Colet had already wrapped her arms around her tighter and tighter, until their faces were the only parts of their bodies that didn’t touch.

“Bakit Colet na lang?” Colet pouted, staring at Stacey with her pleading brown eyes. She nudged Stacey’s chin with the tip of her nose. “Ayaw mo na ba sa’kin, baby?”

“Di mo sure.” She answered, because she wasn’t easy to get… maybe. And maybe she wanted to see how far she could push back. “Itigil na lang kaya natin ‘to.”

Colet croaked something unintelligible before giving up and defeatedly sighing. “Um.. okay,” she said meekly. “If—if that’s what you want.”

“Ah,” Stacey nodded to herself. “So papayag ka lang?!”

Unable to think and utterly defenseless, Colet stared straight into her eyes with nothing but confusion. She blinked a few times, adjusting herself on the couch, moving Stacey along with her.

“Waitwaitwaitwait,” she said, squinting towards Stacey as if it would make it easier for her to read the disarming situation. “Ano ba talaga gusto mo?!”

“Wag na! Pumayag ka na eh. Edi tapos na. Tigil na natin ‘to.”

She glared at Colet once more before pushing herself off, untangling the firm hold on her waist.

But Colet wasn’t having any of it.

She yanked Stacey back into position, placing one hand along her back while the other firmly framed her face. 

“Ang arte arte mo ha,” she said, soft and a little too dangerous to still be considered charming. “Ano ba'ng gusto mo?”

Stacey crossed her arms and pouted harder.

"Lindtsey, baby," Colet warned. "I'm not gonna ask you again."

Stacey nodded, utterly powerless and loving it entirely.

“Baby,” Colet whispered, her breath still smelled minty fresh. “Ano ba’ng gusto mo?”

“Ikaw.”

She tried to look away when she said it, but the way Colet bit her lip and chuckled under her breath made it impossible to turn her face. Nothing else seemed as beautiful and as disturbing and as alarming as her twitchy, uneven brows, as her mean streak, as her everything.

“Oh, yun naman pala,” she said. “Andito na ‘ko. Sa’yo na. Sa’yo lang.”

“O-okay.”

“Ano pa?”

This time, she couldn’t bear to look at Colet’s face anymore. Instead, she bit her tongue and stared at other things in her apartment, trying to distract her brain from those indelibly pursed lips—they shouldn’t be that rosy after all the cigarettes Colet had consumed in her lifetime.

In her attempt to think about literally anything else, she realized she’d forgotten to buy pads for the month. And since when were there too many cracks in the walls? And why did it suddenly become too… beige? And she was pretty sure she charged her power bank two nights ago and forgot to unplug it. And—

“Sa’kin ka lang tumingin.” 

Stacey shut her eyes briefly, and then exhaled. Her last act of surrender.

Colet kept her face steady, her finger tracing the thin lines of veins on Stacey’s blushing cheek. 

“What. Else. Do. You. Want?”

“Kiss.”

Colet tried to stop herself, but the laughter escaped her anyway. “Alam mo,” she said. “Kung di ka lang isa’t kalahating baliw, edi sana kanina pa tayo nag kiss.”

“Ibibigay mo ba o hindi?!”

She didn’t even try to fight back, Colet simply laid Stacey on the couch with one unexpected shift. Between one blink and the next, Stacey was underneath, allowing herself to be cornered by the same woman who had to tiptoe to kiss her standing up.

“Ibibigay, syempre,” Colet answered. “Kailan ko ba pinagdamot ang labi ko sa’yo?”

“Tama ka diyan,” Stacey countered sarcastically. “Sa oras ka lang pala madamot, sa atensyon, sa communica—“

Colet kissed her then. Nothing like a good old fashioned make out session to make Stacey forget she was trying to make a fucking point. She kissed back just as desperately, following Colet’s pace. That was all she did these days, follow Colet's pace.

When Colet pulled away, she bit her lip at the sight of Stacey chasing her mouth. “You good na?”

Their lips were red, Stacey could still taste Colet’s strawberry chapstick on her tongue.

“Hindi pa,” she said, tucking loose hair behind Colet’s ear. “Lagot ka talaga sa’kin pag natauhan ako.”

“Are you threatening me?” Colet kissed the tip of her nose, then her chin, then her mouth.

Okay. So maybe being a little stupid was okay, if it meant being kissed like this.

“Ang lakas ng dating mo no? Kahit pandak ka?”

“You know what,” Colet groaned, her head collapsing in the crook of Stacey’s neck. “Tulog muna tayo. I’ll cook breakfast mamaya.”

“Edi good night.” Stacey wrapped her arms around her anyway, and started playing with her hair.

“Good night, baby.”

“Colet.”

“Mm?”

Maybe she was the distorted future Colet was talking about, but at least she was in Colet’s future.

“… I love you.”

“I know baby,” Colet replied, leaving a trail of kisses on her exposed shoulder. “Love you too.”