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Batman huffs in front of the Batcomputer, glaring at the monitor.
"Whatcha thinking?" Dick peers behind his shoulder. This is the weekend Dick comes back to help train Jason as Robin and do the family patrol, which is what Tim forces everyone to do as family therapy.
"The JL members' vigilance is quite... subpar," he says. "I put a decoy LexCorp drone on them to test how fast they'll realize they are being watched. Turns out, only five noticed eventually, and Clark and Diana were the only two persons that instantly realized. None were aware of the Batdrone that was watching them at all."
"You already reconfigured the LexDrone that Supes confiscated?" Dick asks.
Bruce sighs. "Tim has. In secret. He tries to build drone armies to help patrol Gotham. At least Jason found them in time before he ruled Gotham with these killer drones."
Eh. Typical Timmy. The 8-almost-9-year-old tries to be helpful in the most unhinged way possible. Adorable, but terrifying.
Speaking of that, it makes Dick realize something. "What about Green Lantern? Hal Jordan?"
Bruce clicks and the feed shows Hal Jordan in his bomber jacket in the airplane garage, repairing a plane while hip dancing. "No awareness at all, like the existence of his brain." Bruce's hand pauses. "Why did you suddenly mention him?"
"Oh, remember the last job I did as Robin? Rescuing Jason from Joker?" Dick explains. "I may... not put it in the report because a lot of things happened. But at that moment, I, er, kinda asked the JL to help find Jason. I broke a lot of rules, but—"
Bruce turns to him. "Dick, it's okay," he says, not meeting Dick's eyes. Bruce is better at talking about feelings, but it's hard for him to say them while looking at anyone's face. "I may not like that, but... Jason's safety was of the utmost importance to you at that moment."
Dick nods. Oh how far they have come from the last year. "Yeah, you weren't there, and the one who took the s.o.s. call was Hal. He dismissed me immediately."
"What," Bruce says, and the room temperature drops at least ten degrees.
Dick nods. "Yeah. The man thought it was a prank call, I think? He didn't even listen to what I'd say."
"Who'd prank call a JL direct line," Bruce says coldly, which Dick knows is not directed at him.
Dick shrugs. "I dunno. Maybe he has experience receiving prank calls before. But yeah, I think he—"
"He should have more awareness of the situation before he's making any judgement," Bruce, Dick, and Tim speak together at the same time.
Bruce and Dick turn to Tim.
"Jinx!" Tim pinches both Bruce and Dick.
"Timmy, it's your bedtime now," Dick says.
"Tim, how can you bypass the cave's child-proof security again?" Bruce says.
"It's Saturday! Jason can patrol, then I can too!" Tim pouts, pointing at Jason who just comes out from the changing room in full Robin costume. "And I found a new natural entrance on the northeast of the manor. I've noticed from the out-of-route movement of the bats."
Bruce sighs. "So you went through bat nests. Have you been vaccinated against rabies yet?"
"You said the bats here are rabies-free!" Jason quickly rushes in. "Tim, did you get any bites? Did you inhale any, I don't know, bat's spit?" He pats all over Tim's body. Jason is always a mother hen in terms of Tim's safety.
Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. "They are, but with how he keeps... exploring, I think he'd better be vaccinated in advance."
"If I get vaccinated, can I be Robin number two and patrol?" Tim pleads with big blue eyes.
"No," everyone says.
"Then, Red Robin?"
Jason pats Tim's head. "It's not about the name, baby bird. You need sleep... and a better sense of naming."
"What about you!" Tim objects.
"Jason has reached the p50 of the height chart after nutrition improvement now. You are still barely at p25, kid," Dick explains.
Actually, because Jason is a Robin mainly to prevent Tim from being a Robin at the age of eight. They hope that Tim will be like little Dickie used to be. Dick started developing some common sense when puberty hit (it came with a temper though).
"But. I. WANT. TO. HELP!" Tim shouts. "Everybody is doing good things, while I do useless things like sleep? How can I do that?"
Dick starts his Tim-containing maneuver (aka hugging), while Jason tries to explain the benefit of sleeping at an appropriate circadian rhythm.
"As a matter of fact, from what we discussed earlier," Bruce says suddenly, staring at the screen that still displays the clueless Leaguers. "Maybe you can help us, Tim?"
Today, Batman calls an extraordinary meeting of the Justice League.
When all the notable members are present, he takes no time and opens the Batdrone camera log, showing many Leaguers unaware of being observed at all.
Of course, half of the members protest Bruce's violation of privacy. The other half just sigh like they are used to it.
"To sum it up, your observation and vigilance are abysmal. If this spying were done by enemies, you all would be either captured or dead by now," Batman concludes. "A vigilance lesson is required."
There is a collective groan from the superpowered babies in front of Batman.
"Please, no more training," Barry slumps over the meeting table. "Let me eat, sleep, and shower."
Batman stares at Barry. "The Watchtower does have food, beds, and showers."
"Come on, Spooky," Hal objects. "You can't bring your stalking into this and force us into more whatever mock training you have in your head. I bet in actual circumstances, all of us will be alert, alarmed, and another 'A' you see fit."
"Aware," Batman supplies.
"Whatever."
Superman hears Batman huff through his nose, which is the equivalent of 'I'm considering letting go of my no-kill code just to elevate the world from your stupidity.'
"It's not a mock or simulation training. I will make you learn a real-life lesson as you wish," Batman continues and lifts his cape up to reveal what is inside.
Which is a tiny child.
Teeny tiny, maybe 6 or 7? With a little pudgy cheeks but gangly legs. That head is big. He looks like a cute matchstick. The boy is wearing a domino mask and grins, innocently from the outside.
But Superman—no, Clark—knows that smile. It is the same one as a boy almost a decade ago. An angelic smile from the outside.
Inside is a smile that H.P. Lovecraft can't even describe. It is the 'I'll ruin you, and you'll still coo at the ground I walk on' smile.
"Hello!" the child says brightly. He slightly jumps up and down. "This is so cooooooool!" It is cute. It is a devil in disguise.
Clark feels the PTSD from the young Dick Grayson catching up to him fast.
Green Arrow points at the hyperactive child. "Ugh, Batman? What's the meaning of this?"
Batman continues. "This is the—"
"I am to be your lesson!" the jumping child, whom Clark secretly identifies as Tim, says. The youngest Bruce recently fostered. "I will stalk—I mean, spy on all of you. If you can't find me, I may dig up your deep dark secrets, or play a little bit of very-safe-no-explosion pranks. Catch me, and your secrets and dignity are safe. If not... well, my specialty is blackma—"
"—espionage," Batman quickly cuts Tim off. "He's a very skilled agent in espionage."
Most of the room stares at this tiny child in disbelief. Except Clark and Diana, who personally know Bruce, even though they haven't had a chance to meet Tim yet.
Tim Drake, the youngest, who Bruce says reminds him of early Dickie. Whose current objective is to literally explode the planet like Dickie has done once.
Clark’s brain is reliving his early years with Dickie, the original hellion.
"Uncle Clark!" Dick suddenly sprang from the vent above him in the Daily Planet toilet. "You practiced the Superman pose twelve times now. I think pose number seven is the best. I have a photograph comparison." He gave him photos. "Which I will not send to B or that badass lady Lois if you fly me to the moon today."
"Batman, is this a joke?" Aquaman asks Batman.
"It's not," Batman says. "If I say I'm the one who'll do this lesson, some of you," he eyes Green Arrow and Green Lantern, "will say it's not fair due to whatever they perceive. So this agent, codename—"
"Red Ro—"
"—Menace will be the one who you all will be up against. A child, yes. Let's see if you can catch this child."
"Dick! Would you please give me back my cape," Clark begged the child on the top of the Daily Planet building. "And please climb down. How could you climb here in five minutes? I just went to talk with—"
"With that cool badass lady Lois," Dick grinned, while tying the cape around his neck. Clark couldn't reach him. The child somehow had procured a small kryptonite from somewhere (probably Bruce's). "Un-cle-Clark-and-Lo-is-sit-ting-in-a-tree-K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
"Bruce is gonna kill me if you fall!"
"I never fall," Dick countered. "Kiss the lady and I'll climb down."
Clark pulls himself back from reliving the PTSD and lifts his hand up. "Batman, since Wonder Woman and I do notice the presence of the drones, I'd like both of us to not participate in this lesson."
Batman turns to glare at Superman.
Superman makes the most pleading look at his best friend.
Batman sighs, which is equal to a declaration of eternal friendship. "Yes, Superman and Wonder Woman are exempted from this lesson."
"Aw, shucks. There goes my chance to meet Wonder Woman."
Huh? Clark hears another voice from the ceiling?
"Jason, I want you to be Tim's companion on his... mission," Bruce says to Jason, a newly minted Robin.
"Of course. I need to protect Tim."
Bruce nods. "Your role is to avoid Tim causing the tower significant or unstable damage—"
"I will, and protect Timmy."
"Yes, and to prevent Tim causing them crippling physical damage or permanent psychological trauma."
"Of course, and protect Timbo."
"...I already acknowledge that. Also, if you can, please restrain Tim from overspending or causing significant financial damage to the JL or to WE."
Jason nods. "Have you mentioned that I need to protect Tim?"
Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose.
"This is stupid. A kid spying on us. We are superheroes, not kindergarten teachers," Ollie is rambling to Barry in the Watchtower corridor. "I survived being stranded on an island."
"I dunno. I don't think Batman ever does stupid—" Barry suddenly slips backward and falls down. Then, of course, he uses his superspeed to pull himself back up, but he can't. Everything is slippery.
Ollie looks at Barry, in superspeed, trying to get up and falling down like a real-life burst shot in horror. Then he notices a layer of oil in front of him, just an inch until it reaches his foot.
And on the far end of the corridor is the teeny-tiny kid, with a camera on a tripod, rapidly clicking.
"This shot is amazing," he says, then he notices Green Arrow. "Oh, hiya, new uncle!"
"Wut?" Ollie says, extending his arm to catch Barry. The blurred blob in front of him grabs his arms, and Barry stabilizes himself, panting.
Before they can process anything else, the child, in a domino mask, with a real Batman gadget belt wrapped two times on his chest like a bandolier, shoots the grappling gun to the vent above, pulls himself into the vent, and vanishes.
Thus, the awareness training lesson has begun.
Dinah, who recently joins the League after Oliver, has listened to the story with mirth.
"You two got one-upped by a child, Billy Goat," Dinah flicks Oliver's nose. Oliver humphs.
"You're supposedly in this lesson too. Don't you dare think you have girl privilege?"
"Oh, I won't. But I'm more competent than a lot of you," she smirks.
Oliver nods, true true.
Then, with his sharp eyes, he spots a black small shadow moving around.
"Fucking rat!" Oliver shouts and throws what is in his hand at the rat, which is a Cheetos. Then he grabs his bow.
"Oliver, don't hurt it," Dinah laughs, her voice high. "It's just a rat!"
"A rat!? It's a food thief, a germ-infested dwelling, and don't talk about the disease it carries!"
"I can't believe you've survived on a stranded island," Dinah continues her giggling, even higher than usual.
"I'm also a pampered nepo baby, too!" Oliver squeaks like a girl.
Dinah sighs endearingly and walks to where the rat has gone. "It's weird that there's a rat here in space, anyway." When she is under the shaft, another rat is dropped on her head. Oliver squeaks even higher. Dinah just swipes it away with her bare hand.
There is a light thud on the ceiling above her head, probably a track of the ventilation shaft. Classic Gotham espionage style.
Dinah smiles and mouths to Oliver, 'Don't worry, I won't use high impact.' Then she shouts her Canary Cry at the shaft, intending to just startle the kid hiding in it.
But what comes out of her mouth is a squeak. A mouse squeak.
"What—" And Dinah closes her mouth because her talking voice is so high.
"Dinah?" Oliver says, in a high girly voice that exceeds even the choir boy's voice. Three mice have joined the room. Oliver's squeaks and their squeaks join forces.
"My voice," she squeaks, not knowing what happens.
Then the vent grill between Dinah and Oliver opens, and that cute kid is hanging upside down, pulling an oxygen mask out from his face.
"I replaced the gas in your room with Heliox," the kid says, then breathes oxygen from the mask again. "It's a rare form of medical gas, an oxygen mix with helium, decreasing the resistance of the airflow, usually to help patients breathe, and—" He breathes from the mask again "—as I expected, it will neutralize the Canary Cry." He smiles and drops four more rat down. "B has soft spots for both of you. Be better next time!"
Honestly, Arthur doesn't care much about the kid.
He doesn't underestimate Batman's plan at all. If Batman backs it, it means the kid is good at whatever he intends to be, and Arthur has accepted the fate of the punishment bravely. From what Flash and Green Arrow told him, it may be an embarrassing clip or picture on the cafeteria fridge, maybe a bit of loss of his dignity.
He'll just shrug, learn the lesson, and it will pass. Honestly, the Watchtower has much less headache than Atlantis. He will face this head-on.
Arthur dresses himself after the shower and goes out to the training room.
All members' eyes are on him.
"Um. Aquaman?" Shazam slowly says.
His suit now consists of the upper iridescent sequins, and the lower half is made with rainbow scales. His trident is now decorated in purple glitter.
"I face my punishment with dignity head-on," Arthur declares.
Flash stands up and sighs, and places the still-a-little-bit-slippery hand on him. "Dude, please do have more dignity before dressing out like this."
"...It may be that all my clothes have changed to this very vibrant color of a Disney costume. I have to choose one and face the consequence of my lack of awareness."
"Just say that you don't even realize when or how it happens," Barry sighs.
"If they try these underwater, I will know," Arthur crosses his sparkly arms.
"But you are in space! Sometimes we do need you on land!" A tiny voice comes from the ceiling, then it disappears.
For Billy, he thinks this is pretty cool. He has never seen other children involved with heroes before. Yes, there's the Teen Titans (so awesome), but he has never seen a kid this young. And associated with Batman? Bad ass.
Then Billy looks at space, outside the window.
The Menace in the spacesuit is squishing his face to Billy's room. He knocks on the window gleefully. He guesses the kid has knocked for a while now, but the space station window is too thick for him to hear.
The kid moves a cardboard sign up.
Heyyyyyyyyyyy.
Then he switches the cardboard.
I know who you really are.
He switches the card again.
Want to become one of us?
Again.
Join us.
He smiles, showing his teeth.
Billy slowly steps back.
Join us. Join us. Join us.
The board writes, then the kid in the spacesuit seems to be pulled back, vanishing from the window, leaving only the card with the repetitive 'Join us' attached to the window.
Somehow, Hal has survived all the Tiny Menace’s shenanigans. He doesn't know why, but maybe he's that good.
He thinks to himself while feinting listening to whatever Superman is talking about in the meeting. Today Batman and Wonder Woman have to negotiate some intergalactic diplomacy elsewhere.
"And lastly, I want to inform you that now we start cooperating with the younger heroes, the Teen Titans. One day they will be our valuable members. So as a start, we'll be inviting them to familiarize them with the League." Superman sighs and turns to the Zeta.
"B-01 Nightwing," it announces, then a lithe young man steps out. He's in a suit that's even tighter than Hal's.
"Hiya, nice to finally meet you. I'm Nightwing! The leader of the Teen Titans! Though the first founders are now more YA than teen, except me, at the tender age of eighteen."
Huh? So the kid's eighteen? Youngest but the leader. Hal has to admit he's a little bit impressed. But that voice—maybe a bit familiar? Nah, must be his imagination.
Superman clears his throat. "As you see, he's very—"
"Competent," Nightwing says.
"—young." Superman sighs again. "So we can't let him in the field yet, only observe our daily tasks."
"Bo-ring." Nightwing sits on Batman's chair and boos. "Do you know that us Titans have already traveled the galaxy, or won a fight against demon lords?"
Superman makes the third sigh. "Please, or Batman will do the equivalent of killing me if I let you in the field."
"Yeah, this is not a playground, kiddo," Oliver says.
"Hmmmmmm," Nightwing thinks. "Really? Heard you all are haunted by a sinister smol ghost?"
Many of the Leaguers groan at that. "The Menace!" someone says.
"Somehow he's not dared to mess with me," Hal says nonchalantly.
"Maybe he's waiting for the right time to strike," Nightwing says, looking him in the (masked) eyes. "Or the right audience to show."
Nightwing grins, showing him a full row of teeth.
You know, no matter what Spooky thinks of him, Hal is not stupid. He passed the pilot license, he has protected the universe multiple times, and he's very, very versatile. He just has an "off" mode when he's not heroing. It comes with being in the Air Force once. You can't be on all the time.
But now, Hal is ON.
He knows this kid is in the ceiling, as Oliver and the others have said. This is the kid's method of moving unnoticed. It's striking that the kid seems to know ALL the layout of the Watchtower, but he's Spooky's agent, so he doesn't underestimate him.
Hal's ring cannot just build cool weapons. It can be used for tracking. And like Aquaman, Hal knows he has favorable terrain: space.
So when the kid sneaks out to do whatever weird things with Captain Marvel earlier, he puts a tiny probe on him. And now, the child’s left ankle shines like a green glowing stick passing through the ceiling.
The kid is moving in front of Hal, and Hal feigns not totally seeing the light, whistling, acting as chill as he can as he walks to the cafeteria.
The light slips into the cafeteria before Hal enters. When Hal enters the cafeteria, the light is moving to one of the snack cabinets. Hal doesn't know how the kid moves from the vent to the cabinet, nevertheless, eyes on you, little man.
In the cafeteria, there is Nightwing, making casual conversation with Barry about his nephew.
Hal, in full ON mode (Hal's own words), does not fully trust Nightwing either. He appeared at the same time as Spooky's lesson. So Hal does keep Nightwing in his visual field, also.
"Anyway, nice to meet you in the flesh, kiddo," Barry tells Nightwing. "But earlier, when you sat on Batman's seat, I almost got a heart attack."
Nightwing shrugs. He looks at Hal, phone ready in his hand. "Why not? I'm his kid."
Barry stares at Nightwing in shock, Hal too. He means almost—but in his ON mode, he still keeps the kid and Nightwing in his vision. You won't get me with your make-up story, kids—
—a small hand from nowhere touches his finger, and next thing Hal knows, his power is gone, his suit, gone, tracking light, gone.
"What the fuck!?" Hal lifts his hands up. His ring is replaced with a fucking yellow ring pop. There's a laugh, maniacal and evil, behind him. He turns but sees no one.
And the moment that Hal takes his eyes off the snack cabinet, a tiny hellion bursts from the cabinet, with Cheerios and Fruit Loops and Lucky Charms spewing out with him. The Menace is dressed fully in red, with a domino mask and Batman gadget belts tied like a bandolier. There is blood, blood pouring from his mouth.
"FACE THE WRATH OF THE RED ROBIN! GARGHHHHhhhHHHHhhhh!" the child screams.
Hal is a man of great willpower, but without the ring, and a child equivalent of a feral Dex-Starr on him, he can't help but scream back.
The (currently not) Green Lantern has called his fellows to an emergency meeting in a spare meeting room.
"Hal," Oliver says to his friend. "You have an interesting look, and smell. That's not a ketchup smell."
"You smell like the bad part of the ocean, my friend," Arthur comments.
Barry pushes his tongue out and tastes the air. "It's... fish sauce?"
"It's ketchup and fish sauce, with some fermented fish." Hal is covered in red and brown substances, and sticky with Fruit Loops and other colorful cereal. He slowly tries to pull the cereal out from his hair. It does not come out. "It seems the sauce is some guy called 'Condiment King’s' specialty. I cannot wash it off, both in color and smell."
"And the bite mark?" Dinah asks.
"He has sharp teeth," Hal replies with dread in his eyes. "And possibly rabies. But more importantly than that! First, you!" Hal points to Nightwing. "You said Batman is your dad."
Nightwing, in the middle of eating dry cereal, stops mid-chewing. "Ummmm. It's complicated, actually? To be honest, I'm not really sure? I'm his kid, but not like his kid. He is my parent, I guess, but is he my dad...?"
Hal, however, trudges past the blatant daddy issues in the room and goes on. "So you're an accomplice in this."
Dick resumes his cereal biodegradation process. "Oh, no! Swear on the Bat on Batman's chest. I'm here to help you, actually."
Arthur lurks his eyebrows. "How?"
"You'll see. I'm his contingency plan. You know B's contingencies, right?" Nightwing grins. It does resemble the Menace's grin.
"You're brothers," Barry realizes.
"Yep. That's very true."
"So the tiny kid is Batman’s another son?"
"Eh. It's complicated too." Nightwing shrugs. "Anyway, currently, I'm just here to enjoy the chaos."
Hal glares at him. Nightwing does not react. Hal then turns to his fellow Leaguers.
"Second, I think we need to combine our forces to capture him before he does any more damage to us."
"I don't know, it seems you are the only one with lasting damage." Oliver pulls his goatee. "Where's Captain Marvel, anyway?"
"He felt so uneasy with the presence of the Menace that he asked to take a leave early," J'onn explains.
"And why haven't you been visited by the Menace?" Hal accuses J’onn.
Martian Manhunter shakes his head. "That, I do not know. It seems the Menace avoids direct encounter with me. I do get some... lessons. Things in my room do get swapped, or moved, or hidden."
Barry thinks, and something clicks. "The kid has no mental shield yet."
Nightwing does a finger gun. "Great. As expected of you, Uncle Barry."
Oliver follows this thought. "So we can use J'onn against him."
"I do not harm kids," J'onn says.
"Even though he's a kid from the ninth circle of Inferno?" Oliver asks.
"I do not harm kids," he states again, and that's that.
"What about reading Nightwing's mind right now?" Oliver points at Nightwing.
"He has Batman-level mental shields."
Now everyone turns to Nightwing.
"What do you want me to say? I’ve said that he raised me." Nightwing shrugs again. "You won't get any leverage from me in capturing the Menace, but I'm not hindering you guys later."
The Martian Manhunter nods. "And Nightwing is a kid, too."
"Hey, I'm eighteen!" Nightwing says.
"A kid," everyone else says.
"Fine!" Nightwing throws his arms up.
Admittedly, the longer Hal is without the ring, the more serious the consequences can be. Hal still acts as the face of the Earth. If the Corps can't contact him for too long, the bureaucratic consequences will get bigger and bigger. No one wants the Corps to fly here to see Earth's mighty defenders get wrecked by a toddler.
Arthur huffs. "As I have said, we have to think of him as Batman's proven agent, not a kid. We should not underestimate him and must treat him as such."
So the members (led by Hal) agree it is time they should join forces to catch the little gremlin. They work in tandem—Green Arrow as the eyes, Flash as the legs, the heavy hitters like Black Canary and Aquaman as the front row. Hal as... Hal. Dude, he has no ring.
Now they're tracking the Menace. He's heading to the training room.
"Remember, he's still a kid. Only subdue, do not hurt him," Dinah whispers.
"I know! Imagine what Batman will do if his kid is hurt," Oliver replies.
"It still hasn't gotten into my head that he has multiple kids," Flash notes.
"Reminds me of my friend. First, I never thought he'd survive twenty, then suddenly, one kid, and now, three kids," Oliver continues.
"Oliver, you're talking about Bruce Wayne again. Admit it, you want his attention," Dinah sighs.
"No! I'm not! Why would I want the attention from the childhood friend that I used to protect but now he's a grown man and we've kinda drifted—shh!" Oliver quickly points to one vent. It's shaking a bit. The kid is crawling past it.
As they planned, they work as a team. Flash quickly moves Dinah to below the vent, breaks the vent grill with her cry, and jumps from Barry's shoulder to pull the kid down. Hal and Arthur act as a second team in case there's an unexpected turn (and again, Hal has no ring).
"Oopsie!" the kid laughs in Dinah's arms. "You got me, Auntie Black Canary!"
"Auntie!?" Dinah says, incredulous.
"Yep. Anyway, a message from Batman: you will realize that once you maintain your vigilance, to subdue the Menace is not hard at all. Take this as a lesson."
"Enough of Spooky's crazy lesson. Kid, where's my ring?" Hal walks to the kid, but he suddenly drops down. An early-teen kid from nowhere kicks him in the nuts from behind. He's wearing red, green, and yellow, with a domino mask.
"Don't fucking hurt him!" the tricolor kid says, furious.
"I'm not hurt!" the tiny Menace shouts, but the kid seems not to acknowledge that.
"Kid, calm down—" Arthur says, but his hand is snatched back by a tentacle, a green glowing tentacle of a Kraken that can only be produced by imagination and willpower.
A tall, large bipedal figure cloaked in green flame emerges from the far side of the training room. That's a Balrog. That's surely a Balrog from Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, equipped with a green flaming whip.
"Well, he does have an imagination," the tiny kid in Dinah's arms comments at the Balrog. Oliver quickly shoots an arrow, which the Balrog snatches with bare hands. "And he does fit the ring’s requirements to a T."
"Release my brother!" the teen roars. On his right hand's middle finger is a green glowing ring. The ring is speaking in a mechanical voice.
"Jason Todd of Earth, you have the ability to overcome great fear. Welcome to the—"
"Nooooooope. He still needs parental guidance, you Power Ranger ring." Nightwing appears from behind the tricolor kid and pulls the ring off his finger. All the glowing green creatures disappear. Then Nightwing proceeds to secure the kid in a hug—not a hold, but a very tight hug.
"Release me! They hurt Ti—the Menace!" the kid, Jason Todd?, screams.
"The Menace is safe, kiddo. The JL won't harm kids, and most of all, I don't think they can really harm our devilish little brother." Nightwing turns to Hal, who gingerly stands up after the kick in the nether regions. "Yo, take your ring." He throws the ring to Hal, and they all see that the ring seems to linger in Nightwing's hand a bit. "No, ring. I'm not interested. Shoo!"
The ring does fly back to Hal, and Hal quickly resumes his Green Lantern persona.
"Thanks, kiddo."
"Hey, Hal?" Nightwing says.
"Huh?"
"Another message from Batman: always expect the unexpected. There is not only one, but two Menaces. And screw you for hanging up on my call for help half a year ago!"
Then Nightwing releases a full, feral, overprotective Jason on Hal Jordan. At least he has his ring now, so it's fair play.
"Isn’t that kid Jason Todd, the new kid I met at the last Gala!?" Oliver points at the rabid raccoon that is munching half of Hal's face. "Wait... three kids. YOU DICK!" He then shouts at Nightwing, who keeps filming Jason's Attack on the Lantern.
"Uh-oh," Nightwing, or Dick Grayson, says to his Uncle Ollie.
After all the ruckus, they are back in the meeting room, with Superman, Wonder Woman, and even Batman back from their intergalactic mission.
"Where's Robin?" Batman turns to Nightwing, who is snuggling the Menace in his lap.
"In the infirmary, with Hal," Nightwing reports casually. "The kid's still not opening his mouth and had to be moved with Hal to the infirmary, or we would have had to cut Hal’s arm."
Batman sighs.
Oliver Queen slams the table. "Don't act exasperated now, Batman. If that feral kid is Jason Todd, then it means that the tiny hellion is Tim? And that is Dickie. So you are—"
Batman raises his palm as a sign for Oliver to stop. "This proves, Oliver, that you—all of you—severely lack situational awareness. Thrice. First, Tim at least once messed with you all."
He unclasps his chin strap.
"Second, you didn't expect that actually the Menace can be more than one entity."
And he lifts his cowl up.
"Third, you've known me for twenty years, Oliver. Your awareness is, frankly, shit," Bruce Wayne, the man who became one of the world's top ten billionaires at eight years old, says back.
"Bad word, B," little Timothy Drake giggles in Dick Grayson's lap. They both remove their domino masks at the same time Bruce Wayne removes his cowl.
"How could I know that there are two Menaces?" Oliver grumbles.
"You couldn't, but imagine if they were real enemies. You all would be dead, and Jordan would be missing half of his head."
"I think Hal already lost half of his face and all of his dignity," Barry comments, then thinks. "So the one who stole Hal's ring is the big kid, while the small one is the decoy? WHOA!" Flash phases through the sudden grappling gun that is fired directly at him.
"I'm the real treat," Tim says, grappling gun in hand. "Anyway, better perception than before!"
Barry looks at Tim, with the grappling line straight through his phased chest like he is seeing a ghost.
"Timmy, no! No lethal shots!" Dick slowly pulls the grappling line back into the gun. Barry looks down at the line moving through his chest in horror.
Batman pinches the bridge of his nose. "Anyway, I do think you all learned your lesson. I expect better from you all in the future. Please convey this message to Jordan—"
The conference room's door opens. "We're here!" Hal Jordan, with bandages on half of his face and torso, walks in with Jason, in a Robin suit sans the domino mask.
Jason waves to Tim. "You okay, Timbo?"
"Yeah, Jason!" Tim waves back.
Jason turns back to Hal Jordan. "Hey man, I need to go back to my brothers over there."
Hal smiles at Jason. "Yeah, sports." Then he raises his fist. Jason bumps it back.
Bruce's eyebrows twitch. Tim hisses at the interaction before his eyes.
"Wait? You two are good now?" Dick asks Jason and Hal.
Hal Jordan, a man without fear, laughs heartily. "Kid's got guts, I like him. What's not to like about a kid die-hard on protecting his baby bro with all his might?"
Jason looks at Hal, shrugs. "He's pretty okay."
"This is my villain origin story," Tim whispers with much vitriol in his voice.
Diana observes the three kids, menacing in the Watchtower. "They are really strong warriors, able to beat our team even in this playful aspect."
Clark still eyes three of them warily. "All are menaces, I'd say." Then he can't help but chuckle. "Well, even a menace to you—who'd think your identity reveal would happen because you let your children prank us in our base?"
Bruce makes a slight lift at the corner of his mouth, equal to a loving fatherly smile, watching Tim in Dick's arms accepting a hair ruffle from Jason, but still glaring at Hal, probably planning Hal's demise. "Best way for an identity reveal, in my opinion."