Chapter Text
It was during passing period when Saparata’s eyes suddenly felt too heavy, too disfocused. It wasn’t only that, infact it would be an underestimation on just how horrible and groggy he felt if that was the only thing he mentioned. His head was buzzing, colours shifting and dissipating in ways that shouldn't be normal, not to mention the slight strain that made it immensely difficult to focus on whoever was yelling his name straight to his face, holding his body upright. They’d probably also said something else, shouting, panicked, but Saps had already been too far gone at that point.
He could’ve sworn he was just leaving the lunch hall a second ago, but he finds the surface underneath him soft and familiar. He exhales, shifting his position between sheets of blankets before getting his legs tangled in sweat and more fabric. Nuzzling his face further into the pillow, he can vaguely make out the noise of a chair scraping against the floor, a horrible croaking sound that he recognises.
Suddenly, his eyes shoot open.
“Earth to Saps?” A voice questions, a soft one, an undoubtedly familiar one.
“Flux,” He replies, taking notice of how small his voice sounds compared to usual. Saparata pauses before continuing.
“Why am I here?” He groans, starting to wonder if he is in a dream or if it is real. “Why are you here? Can’t you feel just how warm you are?” Fluixon starts, sitting at the end of the bed. His focus trails to Saparata’s head, where he hears a tiny sigh on the other side. Fluixon lowers his head a little, still glaring at the other to look for any further movement.
He sighs. “Saps, you nearly fainted on the way to biology.”
“What-” He barely makes out, before getting interrupted.
“We were walking through the corridor, then you just stopped right in your tracks. I had to almost carry you to the first-aid office. Bridal style.” Flux chuckles slightly, not attempting to hide it. Saparata seems almost to take the bait.
“What? No, what do you mean I fainted? Did I miss the whole bio lesson?” Saparata’s eyebrows furrow in annoyance. Fluixon, although only able to see the back of his head, knows the exact expression plastered over Saps’ face right now.
He notices the way his forehead wrinkles whenever anything mildly mentioning him missing a lesson comes into conversation. That man never slacked off on his grades, constantly getting full marks or the highest in every test he takes.
He ignores the obviously annoyed man, and continues the story. “The nurse told me to wait with you there for a while to see if you’d wake up, so I did.”
“And what about-”
“So I just sat there and skipped my class to look after you.” He shrugs, a slight smile tugging at his lips.
“Fluixon.”
“-No need to thank me.”
“Stop interrupting me!” Saparata yells, or he tries to although his voice fails him, before uselessly flopping over where he now can actually breathe properly. He opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling, abruptly remembering how distorted his vision was before. A mesh of colours spring towards him. His hand runs through his hair, brushing his forehead where he momentarily feels the heat radiate off it.
“Ah.” Saparata realises.
“Flux, do I have a fever?”
Fluixon slightly chuckles at that, seeing his friend has finally realised. He wonders how Saparata didn't even question the abnormal amount of sweat and heat he was drenched in during fall, then he remembers how warm that man can actually get. Flux looks towards Saps, observing the way he opens his eyes and squints, blinking slowly, before deciding it is better if he just closes his eyes. He takes a guess that he feels a horrendous headache creeping up.
He doesn't reply to the question. “You woke at the end, but were barely conscious, I offered to get you home and they let me.” Fluixon adds, only now properly realising the sudden shift of position beside him. His eyes hover over Saparata’s face, the contrast between the white hair stuck to his forehead slick with sweat and his slightly reddened, feverish face. You look too good, Flux wants to say, but he instead turns away.
Saparata barely makes any movement towards the statement, seemingly able to feel the other’s glare on him. He doesn't budge, instead simply hums in acknowledgment; his voice has long been failing him ever since he awoke.
Fluixon takes the slight hum as an invitation to continue his story. “The moment you got on bed,–” He bites his lip, catching himself just in time before he says something that could potentially ruin their friendship.
Flux isn't sure if that is the correct term anymore.
Is this what friendship is like? If not, then did it count as friendship back then, that day that Saparata found Flux alone after school hours?
That time when Fluixon first started to catch feelings towards Saps?
Fluixon looks out the window. His face scrunched, back slouched, hand against his red cheeks stained with tears, with painfully obvious watery eyes. Saps doesn't say a word when he solemnly sits beside the boy and looks out the window with him until he wants to say anything at all. Which, he eventually does.
He wipes his eyes now dry with his sweater absorbing most moisture, before lowering his head. His elbows steady, stationed above the desk. He mumbles, “Saps.” which comes out like more of a whine with his voice feeble and low. The other takes no time to react. “Flux.” He responds. The boy doesn't react to his name, only subtly raises his sleeve towards his face again before faltering.
He allows the silence to consume the two whole. It is comfortable, only the wet sound of his blinking, and the uneven breathing he has which mixes with a stablier, steadier one beside him. Unexpectedly, a slight feeling tugs on his hair, the side pieces near his ear. He allows the motion to happen, a gentle tug on his head; Saps is playing with his hair. That lasts until he feels cold against his warm face, a soft yet sharp skin above knuckles meets wet and reddened skin. Fluixon forgets to breathe. He tenses up.
Then it leaves. The cool, comforting touch leaves, mistaken by Fluixon’s stupid decision to forget. He feels every bit of the moment—from when Saparata decided to play with his hair, how his golden eyes were looking straight into his own amethyst ones before Flux snapped back to the window, how his knuckles brushed his face, and how the freezing warmth left after seconds. He chooses the smart decision to ignore the disappointment creeping up to his face. But that is short lasted, as the next second Flux makes a not-as-smart decision to remember some conflict between him and Elanuelo that made him upset, and once again taste the saltiness of the tears once it reaches his lip. But that isn't the end: he somehow makes an even more stupid decision to rest his head against Saparata’s shoulder, his nose bridge pressed onto the soft fabric.
He feels even hotter now, not from tears, not from the endless eye-wiping, but from embarrassment. Why did he do that? Saparata is going to think he’s weird, push him away, call him– A hand runs through his hair, soft, a gentle violet hue to it with the sunlight towards it. He combs his hair thoroughly, slightly ruffling it gently. Flux continues to cry straight into Saps, who lets his school sweater get wet with his tears. It isn't long before Fluixon decides to lift his head up and is immediately met with a kiss between his eyebrows. It was quick, a small peck that made his heart go in circles. Immediately, Flux looks up to where Saparata’s eyes are, and sees that his expression is almost exactly mirroring his own. Saparata’s hand has left the other’s hair, now loosely covering over his own mouth as if he didn't mean to do it. His skin was flushed, a wave of warmth also seemingly flooding his face now.
Saps looks away first, just slightly and lower. “Flux-” He manages to start, “I- I don't know why I did that! I mean, I- fuck, I’m sorry.” Saparata immediately blurts out, completely scrambling every word that comes to mind into the sentence. His head is now completely turned to the side, where Fluixon is only able to see the back of his hair. He vaguely hears a low mumble, just repeating ‘I’m sorry, shit, I’m so sorry,’ a few times. But he doesn't just accept his apology. His hands subconsciously move towards Saparata’s neck, the other holding his shoulder. The white haired boy turns, and Flux leans in without waiting for a reaction.
It’s mutual. A small, quick peck, but this time just below his eyes, where his moles are cutely dotted. When the kiss is over, Fluixon doesn't immediately move away. He lingers there, testing just how far he can go with him until he pushes him away. And why would Saps ever do that? He doesn't, and Flux stays there for a few more seconds before reluctantly peeling away. Fluixon speaks, barely above a whisper, “We’re equal now.
“Earth to Flux?” Laughs Saparata, repeating what Flux had said. Flux snaps back to reality, trying his best to ignore the train of memories that followed through unwillingly. Right. He was telling Saps what happened, and how he got home. Right. He doesn’t know what to say, how to continue it.
What Saparata had said when Flux thought he finally fell asleep. Huh.
I think this is why I love you.
It wasn't Saparata that truly said it; he had to be obviously delirious from his fever, right? His skin was burning, head fuzzy, movements clumsy. But there was one thing that absolutely terrified Flux: the stern eye contact that he held, the clear, golden, sharp eyes right through Flux’s. He said that with a stupidly charming smile on his face too.
Flux gulps. “It’s nothing. You fell asleep afterwards.” He wants to internally slap himself for that, anything could've been better than that lame cover-up. He takes a deep breath. It’s fine.
He doesn't hear Saparata respond. Fluixon tentatively turns his head to the side, eyes meeting Saps’. They stare at each other just for a brief moment, no certain intention hidden beneath. The white haired man looks away first, his neck and head pushed up with his elbows, shoulders staggered forward. Flux tries his best to not look at that feverish pink face of his, hair damp with sweat, skin soft, eyes slightly glossy– no, snap out of it Flux. Saparata gently taps on the empty space beside him, before shuffling up to the edge beside the wall. This time, he's properly looking at Fluixon. His glare doesn’t break, vision doesn't waver.
He breathes, “You want me to come over?” He asks the obvious, and the other follows up by giving a small nod before shrugging. “Up to you, Prince of Aculon.” Saps teases, voice still broken. He knows Flux despises that name, it’s an ongoing joke between him and Saps about him being of once royal blood—the long fallen but not forgotten Aculon Empire. He climbs into the bed anyway, adjacent to Saps who has now shoved himself onto the inner side beside the wall.
Saparata doesn't say a single word, nor does Fluixon. Their backs face eachother’s, the distance between them thin. A small movement can cause a collision between their warmth, and that is what Flux is exactly afraid of.
“Flux,” He starts.
“Saps?”
“Will you send me the notes? The one I missed today.”
Flux almost forces a laugh. “Saps, you’re burning up, and your only concern is the content you’ve missed.” He speaks, unamused. “Besides, I missed about just as much as you did. I took you out, remember?”
“Oh.” Saps mumbles, almost an exhale of defeat.
“It’s okay. We can just ask Sera? She’ll have the notes down.”
Saparata hums in agreement, reassured. “Okay.”
The following minutes pass by with no words spoken by the two—with Flux listening to Saps’ breathing become more and more stable, and the small movements of shuffling beneath sheets.
He grabs at the blanket, Saparata’s blanket. It smells like him, he thinks. He continues to hold it close to his face, letting the warmth accumulate under his breath, before closing his eyes. But of course, just before he lets himself rest, a voice reoccurs in his mind. I think this is why I love you. Ah, that.
What’s making Flux even more nervous is the slight teasing, yet serious tone Saps had said it in. The natural smile he wore, not the one for show. Surely Saps, his friend since the start of highschool, Saparata, wouldn't say that, would he? He was totally delirious right? Saparata: always kind, grades always at the top, reputation–well loved, fun to be around. There’s absolutely no way he would love Fluixon like that. He’s quiet, annoying, then– Ah, Saparata meant it in a friendship sense right?
But when has it ever been about friendship? Thomas, Flux’s childhood friend, has always relentlessly tormented him with teases about him and Saps needing to get a room. Seraphim, his seatmate in biology and friend, has seemed to start giving Flux smirks whenever Saps was around. Flux grimaces at the thought of the kissy face Sera had made earlier today when Flux walked Saps to the first-aid office.
His face turns pale when he actually, properly, thinks about it for once. His face turns into something redder, rosier at the realisation—he had been incredibly slow.
The dark haired man unknowingly turns over, for the same of any movement to keep this heat off his mind. Only to open his eyes to be met with another. Bright, gleaming, even in a darkened room where curtains block most of the bright afternoon sunlight. Saparata’s hair falls across his face, in a manner that seems painted and precisely placed. He is also turned over to Fluixon’s side. Their expressions are mutual; content yet intrigued.
He considers backing up, their faces now being a few mere centimetres apart at most, until Saparata decides to speak.
“Flux.” He speaks, barely above a whisper. Saparata always starts a conversation by saying Fluixon’s name, and Flux would be lying if he said he didn't like it.
And Fluixon would repeat right after him everytime. “Saps,” he'd say.
The man too close to him stays silent for what feels like an eternity, gaze flickering down for a brief moment before shooting right back up to Flux’s eyes. He fights the urge to just lean forwards and kiss his moles. “Flux,” he repeats again, even quieter this time. “You didn't finish your story.”
Suddenly, he feels too hot all over, too suffocating, heartbeat too quick. Okay, maybe he just didn't hear me say nothing happened afterward. He tries to remain calm, Saparata’s eyes still looking into his with full attention. Fluixon looks away, feeling as if he might’ve exploded right on the spot if his eyes continued to linger on him.
It isn't too hard to make up something on the spot, right? Flux would agree, definitely agree. He has always been a sucker for debates and arguments—quick thinking has never been the issue. What has been the issue, though, is Saparata. He can still feel the feverish hot air between them, the soft breathing beside him, and his stupid, dangerously gorgeous eyes and the sound of its blinking beside him. Too close. Flux thinks. You’re way too close. He wants to push him away, but his face betrays him and he can feel the heat creeping onto his nose.
They’re so close Flux can smell whatever product Saps had put in his hair to style it. It smells minty, fresh, with a tint of Saps’ smell. He almost wishes that he can lean in closer to touch it. That reminds him—Saps is still waiting for a reply. Right, finish the story Flux. What happened to his quick thinking, to his countless arguments he had with his parents before? And he thought that he would’ve benefitted from that too. But firstly, he turns his full attention back to Saparata first.
Of course, his eyes are still on him. Saps has probably gone bored of seeing Flux internally panic, fluster up, everything else in the meantime yet, he still continues to stare at him. Does this man ever get bored? Fluixon swallows the complicated mixture of feelings down his throat. “After laying you down, you mumbled some random things and went to sleep,” he doesn't completely lie. Saparata doesn’t need to know what he said. It’s not like he would've actually said it if he was conscious, anyway.
His thoughts get interrupted by a voice. “Flux,” Saparata speaks. “Sorry for making you miss class. And– also making you come. You can, uhm, it’s okay if you wanna leave. If you wanna.”
Fluixon blinks. Saps doesn't even try to hide the obvious tone of ‘I don't actually want you to leave right now’. “It’s okay, I just have to be back by ten since my dad’s home today,” he replies, trying to sound unbothered about the thought of leaving a sick Saparata alone.
All Saparata does is chuckle.
“It hurts to look ‘cause of the headache the fever is giving me,” he mutters, movements on his face slow. “But– Flux, you’re very beautiful, y’know that right?”
Suddenly, Saparata’s eyes widen again, as if he’d said something he isn't meant to aloud. His mouth parts again, finding words, but nothing comes out.
Fluixon only continues to stare. He can't tell whether Saps is teasing him or if he’s being truthful, but either way it’s got his heart beating faster than it’s ever gone. And finally, he decides it’s time to say something. “Saps, are you delirious?” Flux internally punches himself. You’re so fucking stupid, Fluixon Aculon.
Saparata hums, eyes finally closed. He stares at the man’s white eyelashes for a second too long, before his moles catch his attention again. Flux squints, then frowns, then cratches himself and stops before Saps notices. Stupid moles, he thinks.
Saps momentarily cracks a faint smile before speaking. “Which answer do you want?” Flux, at that moment, thinks his oxygen supply is knocked out of him. Now he genuinely regrets asking, no, he regrets getting in his bed in the first place. And the way Saparata just smiles, laying there like it's the easiest thing to do—asking Flux if he wanted Saps to actually think he’s beautiful. Fluixon would’ve kicked him in the calf, or just simply elbowed him. It should be easy to do, just casual best friend banter. Then why is it so difficult now? Why does his whole body feel frozen, absolute solid in place like dried out cement?
Fluixon manages a sentence out. “Go to sleep.”
With that, he earns another hum from Saparata before the man flips over to face the wall. Flux does the same. He frowns, this time with his hands held close to his face although faced away from Saps.
Why does Saparata need to be so difficult?– No, why does he have to make it so difficult for Flux? When it comes to him, being straightforward is essentially like a myth. If Saparata hated someone—which he rarely did, he’d just smile and wave them goodbye after a conversation. If he liked someone, he’d do something absolutely almost the same. Totally Flux’s fault for not noticing.
Oh well. Ish might aswell punch Flux in the face. He’s too tired, and there just has to be a history essay due tomorrow—great, he’ll have to worry about that when he gets home. And of course, his mind flashes back to the times with Saps which makes him realise how amazing Saps is. Every time in highschool when Flux was picked on, he would feel miserable about it. They’ll stop, Saps would say, before disappearing for a few minutes. The next few days, those people would not approach again. And that’s only scraping the surface of how far back and deeply their friendship goes. Despite Fluixon’s poor reputation just solely due to his lack of communication back then, Saps, who had many friends and acquaintances, always called Flux his best friend.
He almost forgets where he is until he feels a buzz against his hip. He groans, and reaches for the phone shoved in his pocket.
Conspiracy (99+ unread messages)
snowbird334: yo
i thought we said shops after class
thomas5200: here in a min.
like 30 secs away ok?
snowbird334: oh i see you and rotation and gotoga coming
thomas5200: yeah, our lesson just ended
snowbird334: i keep forgetting you all take the same subject
lucky asf man
hvyrotation: lmao why would u even choose further maths??
snowbird334: dont wanna talk about it man
seraphim_here: wait there im almost here too, im trying to get past this huge ass crowd rn
snowbird334: gl girl
wait whys there even a crowd
seraphim_here: girl i dont know its some argument between cynikka and fhis man
i think his names schpood
snowbird334: oh hes in ny law course i know that guy
thomas5200: ok wait who are we missing mow?
Flux sighs at the screen. They’ll be able to see that he’s online now aswell. That’s just great.
hvyrotation: newkids
that man isnt in school today anyway
also gotoga isnt texting because his phone died
newkids: skill issue lol
hvyrotation: you’re not even in
newkids: i have a very good reason to why that is
seraphim_here: mhm yeah sure
thomas5200: watch him be suspended from college
snowbird334: there he is
flux is online guys
everyone applause
thomas5200: dude flux where the fuck are u?
snowbird334: let me guess
u forgot lmao
fluixon: sorry thomas sera rotation and gotoga, i cant make it today
snowbird you dont deserve a sorry
newkids: do i exist
fluixon: you skipped history today you dont deserve a sorry either
seraphim_here: oh yeah flux
how is it going with saps?
hvyrotation: saps?
thomas5200: sera did he ditch us to go on a date with saps?
answer truthfully
if he did i wouldnt even be mad im just proud
snowbird334: im so sure he did lmao
fluixon: im not on a date with him im making sure he doesnt die
seraphim_here: saps almost fainted otw to bio like flux was proper stressed
he was like genuinely carrying saps away like a damsel in distress
newkids: wait that rhymed sera write that down
fluixon: i didnt carry saps like a damsel in distress shes onto nothing.
snowbird334: they didnt just call the nurses over?
seraphim_here: nah dude idk why and plus i wasnt even trying to rhyme dude
fluixon: i hope you all have a miserable hangout at the shops
hvyrotation: even me? wow flux
fluixon: have fun at the shops
that only applies to rotation
hvyrotation: thank you
newkids: tf did i do?
thomas5200: gotogas asking the same
nvm hes actually calling Saps ur bf irl so i think hes in the same boat
fluixon: everyone shut up
im still handling important matters okay
thomas5200: goodluck flux dont accidentally ask him out!!
snowbird334: we love healthy relationships over here
Fluixon reads them all on seen and turns on do not disturb, not bothering to continue any further bickering. He sets his phone back into his pocket, with the subtle sound of Saps stirring behind. He turns over, to realise he has done the exact same.
“Hi.” Saparata speaks. Flux doesn't immediately reply, eyes fixated on the man before him. “Hi,” he responds when he finally remembers to.
“Who were you texting?” Saps asks, interested in whatever conversation had made Flux sigh in annoyance just moments before. “Conspiracy. I was meant to meet them at the shops after class,” he explains. “It’s a little too late now. I didn't really want to go either way.”
Flux really hopes that Saps hadn't been able to catch any bit of that conversation, half of it being the group harassing Flux with his relationship with Saps. He only simply smiles, seemingly satisfied with something Flux said. The smile does something unnameable to him.
The same closeness again, Fluixon realises. The same shared space, shared distance. Except this time, Saps’ attention seems to be more focused on the mattress below them rather than what's in front of him. Just as Flux was about to ask Saps what the problem is, he gets interrupted.
Saps hesitates. “Flux,” he whispers.
“Yes, Saps.”
“Flux, I-” he pauses, and bites the inside of his mouth. He starts to chuckle a little. “Sorry, I’m just… I don't know.”
Saparata’s eyes stare a little to the side of his now, face flushed and eyelashes shading over the top half of his eyes. It’s really unfair how beautiful his white hair clashes along with his golden eyes. “Why are you sorry? We’ve got forever, Saps.” Flux continues to listen, giving him as much time as he needs to speak. A small part of him fears for what he’s about to say.
The other man lets himself force out another chuckle, one to break the silence only momentarily. “Well, I just wanted to say that I wasn't lying. I wasn't lying when I said you're beautiful. And I also wasn't when I said that thing before.”
That thing before. Huh. I wonder what that is.
Fluixon freezes. He tries his best to act completely clueless as to what Saps meant as if it isn't the only thing that has been playing in his head for the past few minutes. Saparata swallows. “Y’know,” he barely coughs out, his voice weaker than before now. “I wasn't lying when I said I loved you. Love. Not loved.” He makes a humourless attempt at any sort of comic relief.
A beat.
Saps’ face turns completely warm all over, and it must be spreading all over his body as he kicks a slight chunk of blanket away. He looks around, hoping to land anywhere but Flux’s face. It's hopeless. They’re barely inches apart.
Flux, on the other hand, is absolutely shaken. Firstly, he now owes Thomas around 20. Secondly, his only friend (for some) and best friend for years did indeed confess his love for him, and just did it again. He catches himself just in time before he leans even closer towards Saps, who seems to notice. He squints, before looking away once again. Flux tries his best to compose himself before he speaks, because he knows it’ll come off too rushed and slurred if he doesn't.
“Saps,” he chokes, “Saps, I love you.” Fluixon blurts out, not hiding any sort of raw emotion behind his usual facade anymore. “I didn't think– I thought you were… I don't know.” His voice goes quiet. He doesn't even want to imagine just how reddened his face has to be right now, he can feel it, even warmer than Saps’ feverish heat can go. He subconsciously finds himself leaning closer, and Saps lets him.
His hand flings to Saps’ cheek, the other hand holding his shoulder. He can feel his slight tremble beneath his palm. Saps places his hand at the back of Flux’s hair. They stay there, close, just for a second too long. Flux swears that he’s able to hear the small sound of Saparata’s blinking, below it, feel his heartbeat. Then he goes and starts, inching close enough for their lips to touch—except it doesn't? Flux flinches away in surprise, only to find that Saps had loosely covered his mouth with his free hand hurriedly. His hand immediately tugs at Flux’s, like a small plea saying wait.
Saparata smiles, his faint dimples showing up. “Wait,” he giggles. “I’m sick, Flux. I’m gonna get you sick if we do that.” He chuckles again slightly, seeing the realisation drawn all over Fluixon’s face. He sees the way his muscles loosen, his breath lightens. Then he catches the way he frowns. “Saps, I’m not gonna get sick from one kiss.” Flux spits, quickly followed up by another voice.
“Well, there's no way of telling! Sorry that I don't wanna get you sick, Flux!” Saparata exclaims, half joking.
“Well–”
“And I don't wanna have it during a fever,” he grins, giving a small huff to the oblivious man before him. “Y’know, first kiss.”
Flux swallows, pressing his lips together to a thin line. The back of his head falls back onto his pillow with a soft thud. The realisation dawns on him. He’s gonna have his first kiss with Saparata. He doesn't stop the smile from creeping up. Saps reaches towards his face, placing the pieces of his fringe in a way that frames Fluixon’s face nicely. He snaps his attention back to Saps, now looming over him just slightly.
Seems like he isn't the only one smiling.
Before he is able to stop himself, Flux leaches onto Saps’ shoulders to lift him up, and plants a kiss on the other’s forehead. He falls right back on his pillow, dragging Saparata down with him. His head rests on his chest, Fluixon’s arm wrapped around his shoulders loosely. Saps readjusts his position slightly, bringing his own arms around the other man’s waist. Flux tightens his grip just slightly.
“I love you,” Saps repeats once again, voice a little muffled under his arm. Fluixon looks down, to see his eyes are now completely closed. He does the same.
“I wonder why you’ve chosen to love me out of everyone,” he mumbles. “I love you more, Saps.”
“‘Cause you’re Flux. It’s simple, y’know?” Saparata whispers into him like it’s that easy to say something like that. He doesn't budge, and simply chuckles.
Slumber soon takes both of them, comfortable beneath blankets and a soft, dark warm hue from the little gap of the unclosed curtain. Neither of them budge, limbs still intertwined and comfortably leaned against one another.