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"You have to kill him, alright? I'll pay you £37,000 if you get the job done,"
My hands start shaking, my first target after becoming a professional hitman. And £37,000 is almost enough to pay off my debt.
"Yes, sir,"
I grip the phone tighter, feeling my blood pumping and pounding in my ears.
"He'll be at 27 Cranberry Street on the 19th of October, got it?"
"Got it, sir. I'll get the job done,"
I breathe a sigh of relief as I hang up the phone and head to Shooters Paradise to purchase a new .22 long rifle and a Glock 19 to get it done with.
•
The weekend before …
"Fuck! Another bust," I cry out in frustration, throwing my cards down on the table. I can't afford to lose any more than I already have. Yet I keep gambling anyway.
I don't remember much after that, just drink after drink after drink, betting more and more money on stupid shit.
Then I stumble out the casino, drunk out of my mind, a man pins me against the wall, gun to my temple. The brick scratches at my back and the cold barrel of the gun against my head being a stark contrast to how warm my brain feels from all the alcohol.
"Howell, you better have that fucking money you owe," the man spits, I can smell his sweat and aftershave and it's nauseating.
"Mooooney? What moneyyy?" I slur out my words, which apparently was not the right thing to say because he whacks the gun against my head and I fall down against the wall.
"You fucking KNOW what money, Howell. You better have it by Christmas or I swear to god I'll kill you," the man then walks away, leaving me bleeding out on the sidewalk.
Fuck. I've no fucking idea how to get that money. I reach up to scratch my head, but it feels warm and sticky. I take away my hand and immediately notice the hot crimson blood coating it. Shit, he must've hit me pretty hard in the head, but I'm far too intoxicated to try get any help.
Suddenly a curly haired Italian crouches down in front of me, taking a puff of his cigarette and blowing it straight in my face.
"You owe money to that guy?" He nods in the direction he went.
I nod slowly,
"If you join my business," the man begins "I can assure you, you'll have all the money you could ever need," he reaches his hand out and I shake it.
"Names Pj, what's yours?" I slowly look up at him, my eyes clouded from tears.
"Dan,"
"Well, Dan. Here's my number," he smirks, looking me up and down and patting a small business card into my palm "Call when you're ready,"
I end up stumbling home and calling Pj that night. He runs a business of hitmen, he hires different people, they get money for killing, and he gets a small percentage of whatever said hitman earns per victim.
Without thinking about it, I agree. I need this money or else I'll be fucking killed myself.
•
It's been a week now since Mr Lock hired me to murder Philip Lester. Today is finally the day I'm meant to get it done with. I grab my car keys from the shelf beside my front door and start driving to the location.
I finally arrive at 27 Cranberry Street at 7:26am, approximately 34 minutes before my target should arrive. The building here is huge, obviously some sort of office building. There's a big sign hanging over the door that reads "P.M.L, England's biggest tech business". Boring.
I climb into a tree and sit up there, watching and waiting for this "Phil" guy to finally show up. I've been informed he's around 6'2, platinum blonde hair, blue eyes and extremely pale. Sounds pretty fit actually. Too bad today's the day he's gonna die.
At around 7:53am I see a man matching the description exit a grey Ford Mustang, around twenty or so yards from me. I begin to aim at him, but im stopped in my tracks.. he's beautiful. Probably the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
But I can't stop now, I need this money. Bad. After hesitating I get ready to pull the trigger, but before I'm able to, a bird flies into the tree which startles me, and I fall out of the tree with a THUD!
"Fucking damnit.." I mumble under my breath, suddenly the beautiful blonde boy is rushing towards me, I panic and throw my rifle into a nearby bush before he gets any closer.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay?! What were you doing up there? Is anything broken?! Should I call 999!!??" The blue eyed man starts rambling as he holds out his hand to help me up. I take it.
"Nah, nah, I'm good. Just was uh.." I struggle to find a reason a grown adult man is in a tree and suddenly fell out. "Trying to get a good photo of the place on my phone! I’m a professional photographer, you see? Just got startled by a bird and fell,"
"Ah, well I'm really glad you're alright! Hey, there's a milkshake bar just across the street - we can go together if you're free? It'll make you feel better!" The man grins at me, appearing almost nervous.
Is this dude asking me on a date? I guess it'd make the job easier to pretend to be his friend, gain his trust and then shoot him. I stare at him for a moment before replying.
"Yeah, sure. Why not?"
•
"What's your name?" The man asks me.
We've been walking for a couple minutes to get to the milkshake bar, in complete and utter silence. It's very awkward. "Daniel. But you can call me Dan," He stops for a moment in front of me. "What's yours?" I ask, even though I already know the answer.
He puts his hand out towards me.
"Phil, Phil Lester. Nice to meet you, Dan!"
I take his hand and shake it firmly.
"Nice to meet you, too, Phil,"
After a few more minutes of walking, we finally reach the place. I order an Oreo milkshake with white chocolate malteasers and extra whipped cream. Phil orders a white chocolate and caramel shake, that seemed way too sweet to be suitable for human consumption. I sit down on a pink wooden stool staring outside the window, Phil takes a seat on the sage green stool next to me.
"You certain you're alright? You landed with quite a thud, you know?" Phil questioned, I sigh gently and put down my drink in front of me and turn to face him.
"I'm fine physically, I can promise you that much," I said with a small chuckle. I mean I am kind of fucked up mentally, as well as financially. But at least I've not got any broken bones, am I right?
"Then, what's wrong non-physically?"
I don't know why, but I decide to tell him the truth. I'm planning to shoot him when this is all over with anyway, so it's not like he would be able to tell anyone if he's 6 feet under.
"I'm diagnosed with clinical depression. It's hard to even get out of bed some days. Especially since I'm in debt, got into gambling and owe some money to some… bad people, let’s just say that,"
Phil goes completely silent for a moment, just staring at me with his beautiful ocean blue orbs, I stare back and god, you really could go swimming in those eyes. I don't really wanna hurt this man. He's adorable and really kind. But I need the money more than I need a friend.
"I'm sorry, Dan. That sounds like a lot. You're a nice dude.. you don't deserve any of that," He finally replies. He opens his mouth again - as if to say something - and quickly closes it again. I ignore it and finish my milkshake.
As we walk outside the milkshake bar I take off my backpack and check that my pistol is still in there. He turns around to look at me and I quickly zip it back up.
"Dan, can I have your number? I had fun today. And I need more friends..." he chuckles, putting his hand on the nape of his neck nervously.
My eyes wide, this beautiful man wants my number? What on earth?
Eventually I decide I'll give it to him, maybe if I gain his trust it will be easier to deceive him and kill him. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to hang out a bit before I have to pull the trigger, I can't deny I did have fun chatting and drinking milkshakes.
After giving him my number I immediately get a ping! sound coming from my phone. I pull it out to see a message.
+44 ***** ********* [Phil] 9:04am
Hi Dan! :D
"You know im right here, don't you?" I stare at him trying not to burst out laughing. Even the way he texts is kinda cute. I quickly save him in my phone contacts as "Phil (cutie)".
"Well, yeah! But I gotta check it's really you and not some random number!" He retorts, frowning at me.
"True, makes sense. Well, see you later, Phil," I giggled, waving goodbye to my new 'friend'.
•
I walk through the dingy streets of London, back to my quaint little apartment. I've really made it quite the home in the past year I've lived here.
I fall into the sofa crease and check my phone, sending a quick message to Phil.
Me 10:43am
Got home fine, hope you're well.
I put my phone down and start planning on the best course of action to kill him next time I meet up with him, but all I can think of is his eyes shimmering in the sunlight, the way his skin glows like a vampire, his laugh that's stupidly contagious. Sighing deeply, I get up to make a snack.
Ping!
Phil (cutie) 11:01am
Hai Dan! I'm good thx! Happy you're home!
Phil (cutie) 11:02am
Btw, can we meet again soon?
I read the messages with a small grin on my face. It's the perfect opportunity! I quickly type out my reply.
Me 11:04am
Yeah, sure. How about this Saturday, meet me at park on 7th street?
Phil (cutie) 11:06am
That sounds great! count me in! see you then ^^
Perfect.
•
Suddenly, it’s Saturday already. I get up and get ready to meet Phil, styling my hair with a curl cream and dressing in a nice black shirt with matching black bottoms. I bring my backpack, packed with a gun and ammo, as well as my wallet and keys.
I arrive at the park at 11am to see Phil leaning against a bench waiting for me. I walk up to him and give him a small wave, plucking up the courage to flash him a smile.
He smiles back and we walk around the park, talking about anything and everything, our families, friends, pets, whether we’re all doomed.
“You know, I used to be a YouTuber when I was like 20,” Phil recalls “Called AmazingPhil,”
I gasp and cover my mouth, Phil turns around with a confused look on his face.
“I used to be like, your biggest fan,”
“No fucking way!”
“Yeah! You even inspired me to make a couple videos of my own, on a channel called Danisnotonfire,”
His eyes widen and he stares at me with recognition in his eyes.
“I fuckin’ remember you, dude! You commented on like all my videos! And wow, sounds like I was quite the terrible influence, huh?” He grins, rubbing the back of his neck.
“No, no, it may have been cringe as fuck but it was fun. I got myself out there cause of you!”
“Then, I’m glad I could help at least one person do that,” he says, eyes glistening in the morning sun.
I blush furiously and look away, continuing walking with him until around 1 o’clock.
“It was great seeing you again, Dan. I had fun,”
He turns around and I pull out my glock, ready to finally get this over with, then realising this is a very public park and I put it away again. I’ll have to try another time. Not that I’d mind hanging with him again.
“Yeah, me too. Maybe we can meet again at the bowling alley this following Sunday?”
His eyes crinkle slightly as he smiles, tongue sticking slightly through his teeth and it’s goddamn adorable.
“Yeah, sure!”
•
Finally, it's Sunday. I pack a Glock 19 and a pair of shiny aqua blue rollerskates in my plain black backpack, I zip it up and put on my stained black converse I've had since I was 19 and head out.
I meet Phil at the entrance of the roller rink, he looks amazing. He's wearing a navy blue, green and black striped sweater paired fittingly with a pair of black jeans and mossy green vans. I walk over towards him.
"Dan! Hey," he beams, looking me up and down "You look great," I give him a weak smile back and nod towards the entrance, he gets what I mean and we both enter together.
"I like your skates," I say to Phil, as he pulls out a pair of iridescent rainbow rollerskates that look like they came straight from a teenaged girls bedroom. They have a Gucci label on the sides.
He stares at me, blinking slowly. "Is that sarcastic?" he finally gets out. I shake my head.
"Nah, I genuinely think they're cool! Didn't know my 38 year old friend was secretly a 17 year old girl at heart," I reply, bursting into laughter at my own dumb joke.
"You've got a point.. but they're so pretty!" he frowns, sliding them onto his feet. I follow suit with my own pair of rollerskates.
I put my hand out toward Phil, expecting him to take it and go onto the rink with me. I look at him and realise he's blushing! I quickly retract my hand.
"Uh, sorry. Let's get on the rink, yeah?"
Once we're skating I realise Phil's actually really bad at it. I've been skating since I was twelve, but it's obvious to me this is his first time, so whilst I'm gliding along like I've done it my whole life, he's stumbling and falling over every five seconds. I'd already done two laps around the rink when he'd barely moved ten feet.
Suddenly I stop next to him and slow down, following his lead. He puts his hand out and I grab it.
"Move your feet like mine, see? Yeah you're getting it!" I start to feel a sense of pride for Phil, until he lets go of my hand and gets too confident in his speed. I haven't taught him how to stop yet and he ends up crashing into me.
He falls on top of me with an "Oof!" escaping his rose coloured lips. I look up at him and see how beautiful this mans face truly is. His face has faint freckles, his eyes are a kaleidoscope of blue green and yellow, his lips are pink and perfect. I could go on about how attractive he is for days.
His cheeks are bright pink too and his eyes look so wide, staring down at me like I'm the only thing that matters in the entire world. I just wanna lean up a bit and...
I suddenly remember he's on top of me and that my blush is likely very noticeable, so I push him off me and get up, brushing myself off.
"Jesus, Phil! I hadn't taught you how to break yet!" I squeal, turning away in embarrassment. He grabs my arms and begs me to let him try again like a helpless puppy.
I reluctantly agree, and eventually he gets the hang of it! No more falling on top of Dan, though I wouldn't mind that as much as I say I would.
Once we're done, we walk out and I realise it's time to do what I was always meant to do. I need this money or else I'M dead. But, suddenly I really don't wanna kill him at all anymore. Not that I wanted to in the first place. But now I really don't.
I have my hand protectively on my backpack as I walk Phil to his car. Before he gets in, he turns around and looks back at me, smiling with the ghost of a blush on his cheeks.
"Dan, I had a lot of fun today," he begins "I was wondering if maybe you uh.." he bites his lip, seeming nervous.
"Yeah, what is it?" I encourage him to continue.
"I was wondering if you'd maybe wanna go out on a date?" he says it fast, so fast I almost didn't catch what he said. Fuck. Shit. This gorgeous man is asking me on a date, but I know damn well I can’t.
"Phil I.. I can't," I breathe out, staring at him with tears in my eyes. "I'm sorry," I run back to my car, not turning back even though I hear my name called several times.
I punch the wheel with my fist and cry, I'll have to tell him I just wanna be friends and then… I have to get it over with, it can't be like this forever.
•
I get home and crawl into bed, I check my phone to doomscroll Instagram reels and end up seeing texts from Phil.
Phil (cutie) 15:32
Dan, I'm sorry. If you just want to stay friends thats fine with me.
Phil (cutie) 15:39
I really don't want to lose you, Dan.
I sigh deeply, I know I have to reply.
Me 16:01
We can be friends, it's okay. Can we meet later tonight to talk about things?
He responds almost immediately.
Phil (cutie) 16:02
Yeah, sure! Meet at my place? 4 Mary Drive, it's in Kensington.
Kensington? That's a bit posh.
Me 16:04
Yeah sure. I'll be there at 8?
Phil (cutie) 16:09
Sounds good! See you then.
I breathe a sigh of relief that I'm finally getting this done with.
•
I finally arrive at 4 Mary Drive in Kensington, and it's fucking huge. It's this beautiful white house, three stories with a balcony at the very top and a massive front door. I've brought my Glock again in my backpack. I knock hesitantly on the door.
"Dan! Come in, come in," Phil opens the door and users me in, and it's even MORE fancy inside, somehow. There's beautiful cream sofas, ornamental figures scattered on shelves that go up to the ceiling, and a grand staircase in front of me.
"Do you wanna talk in your room, then?" I suggest, it would be easier to frame it as a suicide if it's done in his bedroom.
He nods and brings me to his room, it's cream with light blue accents, yet although it's fancy he has a ton of posters on his walls. It's so Phil.
He sits down on the bed and pats next to him. I take a seat.
"I really like you, Dan. We've not known eachother long, but I want you in my life, even if you don't wanna be together like that..." I stare at him, unblinking "So, if you don't like me like that we can be friends. Just friends. Okay?"
"But, I do like you, Phil,"
"Then why did you-" I cut him off.
"But I have to kill you," I slowly pull out the gun and point it at him "I'm sorry, I don't want to, I really don't want to," I'm shaking and tears are pouring out of my eyes now. I wish I didn't have to do this, I'd have loved to date this man and live a lovely little life, grow old together if I wasn't such a fucking idiot to get myself in such huge debt.
Phil's eyes have gone wide and he's got his hands up defensively. Yet, somehow, he doesn't look like he's scared of me.
"Why do you have to do this, Dan?"
"I'm... I'm in debt to a horrible man. He's going to kill me if I don't pay him. I've been hired to kill you from the beginning by a man named Mr Lock, he's going to pay me almost fourty grand for this," the tears won't stop pouring and I can't help but tell him everything.
"Mr.. Lock?"
I nod, looking up at him and his face has softened ever so slightly.
"Dan. Mr Lock is my competitor, I own a.. pretty big company, that's why I was at the building where we met actually, I had a meeting there. But I.." he gulps, staring at me with such love in his eyes even after I've literally said I have to kill him "I can help you pay off your debt, Dan. You're a good man, and I still.. I love you,"
I stare at him in disbelief, it starts making sense. This fancy house in one of the poshest areas of London, the rainbow Gucci rollerskates, the building where we first met... The company's name was his initials. P.M.L. Phillip Michael Lester.
"You'd.. really help me pay off my debt?" I lower my gun, still shaking like a leaf.
"I would. I love you, Dan. Please, just let me help you,"
I drop the gun to the floor and leap towards him, wrapping my arms around him tightly in a hug. He hugs me back.
"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.. I had no idea how else to get out of this situation, I'm sorry.." I sob into him, soaking his shirt. He rubs small reassuring circles on my back.
"It's okay," he hums into my neck "Stay here for the night?"
I pull back and nod quickly. I wipe my eyes of the stinging tears, looking up at him to see him looking right back.
"And, about that date.. I'd love to," I say weakly, smiling at him. He smirks and pull me towards him, my chest flush with his, and he pulls me in for a kiss. His lips are so soft and taste like cherries. It's as though I've died and gone to heaven and am making out with some sort of angel.
It's the best kiss I've ever had and it ended far too soon. I whine when he pulls away until I realise he's taking off his blue checkered shirt, exposing his happy trail and his chest and his collarbones, I don’t think I’ve been attracted to anyone more.
"Is.. this okay?" he asks shyly, and I nod frantically. This is all I've ever wanted, to make love with a man, and this man makes it so hard to say anything but yes.
He helps me take off my shirt and jeans as does he, and we get into his bed. It's great. It's the best sex ever, almost intoxicating because he feels so soft and he's so sweet with his words.
"I love you," I mutter, collapsing on top of him, feeling his heartbeat against my own.
"I love you, too," he kisses my cheek gently in response.
The next morning I wake up cuddled up in his arms, and I realise none of it was a dream. I'm so happy. I'm so unbelievably happy.
•
The next few months go by in a blur of dates, sex and moving into my apartment and suddenly it’s the middle of December, and we’re headed to pay off my debt in its entirety.
“Who here are you in debt to, then?” Phil turns to me, looking around the casino that I know he always hangs about in. I look around wearily, my eyes scanning across the room.
“Him, over there,” I point towards a slot machine where a tall, raven haired man is standing. Phil nods slowly, grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the terrifying man.
“Excuse me?”
The man turns around, his eyes are red - from crying or weed I don’t know - and looks Phil up and down.
“What do you want, fag?” He sneers, then turning to look at me “Howell. You here to give the money you owe? Yer lucky I haven’t killed ya already,”
My lip quivers and I look over to Phil, whose face has gone red with rage. He pushes the man against the slot machine, pinning him to it so he isn’t able to wriggle his way out of it.
“You people are fucking pathetic, you know that? Taking advantage of vulnerable people,” Phil spits in the man’s face “We’re here to give the money Dan owes, and then you better leave him the fuck alone,”
The man sniggers, holding his hand out expecting a wad of cash.
“This should be enough to pay off anybody whose in debt to you,” Phil slams two hundred thousand £100 notes in his hand “If you try trick people like this again, I won’t hesitate to have you killed,”
Phil turns away, takes a deep breath before turning back around and punching the man square in the face, causing him to slump against the machine and bleed.
“Let’s go, babe,” he smiles at me, holding out his hand which I gladly take, following him out of the casino and into the street. He pulls me towards him and hugs me tightly.
“I’m so glad I met you, even if it’s not in the way most would meet their soulmate,” he mutters against my skin.
“Me too, Philly,” I chuckle, pulling him in for a kiss. His soft lips crash into mine and I know I’d never get tired of this feeling for as long as I shall live, licking into his mouth and letting love take control of my mind and body. His hand slides to the nape of my neck and I gently cup his cheek, suddenly he pulls away.
“May…maybe we should continue this when we’re home?” He says nervously, face redder than a tomato. I nod and give him one more quick peck on the lips before we head back to my apartment.