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“A frog who talks to a fish and gets eat(en)” – ***** ******* April 8 2026 at 8:32 a.m.
Jerimeah the bullfrog lived in a pond. As any disgusting, oily-skinned bumpy-green bullfrog does, spending his days gliding across the murky water or sitting on stones eating insects or birds or tiny fishes. He had no friends, no family, and no female would respond to his beautiful and boisterous calls. Not even the swaying marshes would care for his loud croaks. Absolutely bitchless.
The day was as warm as summer could get. Jermiah lived at the same pond network he had since he was just a little tadpole. Black, beady, with a swimming tail wriggling around. Ah, those were the good days all the way back in the 70’s. The world seemed brighter then.
Jeremiah pranced upon a floating lily pad that came his way, right to the edge of his round stone. Hop, hop, hop, what else was there to do? The water was warm and he took a little dip in it to wet his skin. His long sinewy legs let him dart in the water until he emerged back on a jade colored lily where the wind took the pad.
The air was warm. It slipped through the pockets of his dark green skin. The sun beat down, while noisy birds chittered in the trees and sweltering heat caused a mirage of ripples in the air. Mangroves sprouted from the sides of the pond, where dragon flies skipped across rippling water or other spindly-legged water bugs. Jeremiah could not appreciate such a site having seen it thousands of times over.
On his way, the lily took him across a narrow channel of water. It took him into a larger swamp with a heap of green mosses drifting. On Jerimah’s way, he saw a narrow-eyed alligator. “Morning Jerimah!”
“Morning!” The bullfrog called out.
The alligator slipped his head back under the water. Twas a good day. Not as good as the summer of ‘76, though.
Jeremiah started humming a sweet little tune to himself, while still drifting until it took him deeper into the swampy forest. On his way, he talked to a chipper dragonfly. Then a couple of long-necked cranes. But, afterwards, the swamp got a little deeper and darker in shade. The sun was more covered by a dense canopy of weeping mangroves and their gnarled roots.
And this is when a slimy catfish poked its head out. It had bulging eyes that were bloodshot and rubbery gray skin. Jeremiah froze but the lily pad didn’t stop. Its frayed plant edge just stopped right where the creature’s pale belly was half outside the water.
“What do you want?” Jeremiah rudely asked.
“I want you to enjoy this fine day with me.” It said, The way it talked was funny. A big, pink mouth gaping and moving like a sock puppet. Jeremiah had never seen such a thing before. The catfish had big, long, and wet whiskers that bobbed up and around when he spoke. Jeremiah might be bitchless but this guy was kind of hot.
“How so?” The bullfrog asked.
The catfish gave off a big, devilish grin. “Go to lunch with me?”
“But where could we possibly go in the pond?”
Jeremiah thought he might have fallen in love. The catfish and its big eyes, they seemed to look so longingly in his. Jeremiah was unlawfully flushed close to the big belly of the catfish who grinned like a sly fox. Jeremiah might have seen hundreds of female bull frogs that never liked him back, but this one was a funny looking bullfrog. Maybe it wasn’t a bullfrog at all.
“Well we could go to the river bank and…. Eat snails or little ocean critters there? Talk?”
Jeremiah felt skeptical. “But I have no friends.”
“Well I can be your friend.” The catfish protested. “I am as lonely as you, no girl catfish was ever interested in me.”
Jerimiah narrowed his eyes. “How am I to trust a fish like you?” But really Jerimiah was in love with the catfish. “Fine, what is your name?”
“My name is Fiesty.”
“I’m Jerimiah.”
Feisty slipped back into the water and to the back of the gliding lilypad. Feisty pushed it with his belly and guided them through the river until they reached a relatively open spot. “I think I am in love with you.” Confessed Feisty. “You are so beautiful, Jeremiah…”
Feisty and Jerimiah hung out in the water. The bullfrog would dart his tongue out to eat the little worms or critters that flittered passed his vision and Feisty would eat the larger fish or snails in the pond. They were truly living the life right now. Jeremiah kept getting distracted by the swimming body of Fiesty until he couldn’t take it no more. “Fiesty… Feisty, I am in love with you too. Would you kiss me?”
“I would kiss you.” Feisty responded. Then he jumped out of the water. Jeremiah puckered his lips for as much as a vilely disgusting frog could. Instead, Feisty gaped his mouth at him and swallowed him hole in one go. Jeremiah died and became a meal for Fiesty, who grinned and paddled away like nothing happened.
The end?????