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“Meow!”
…
“I’m sorry, what the FUCK did you just say?!” Chuuya’s head darted over to the boy beside him. They were both nearly covered in blood, barely standing from exhaustion. Dazai just stared at him blankly before continuing to kick the dead body beneath him around (his very impractical method of cleaning up a crime scene apparently. Clearly ineffective considering Chuuya finished his area 12 minutes ago).
“Dazai are you fucking with me?” Chuuya asked, seriously concerned as to what the hell just came from his partner's mouth.
“I have no idea what Chuuya’s talking about. I think he’s hearing things.” Dazai replied, off handedly. He continued to kick his dead body, smiling to himself when he got it to the area he wanted it to be in. Chuuya continued to stare, a look of genuine horror on his face.
“Dazai Osamu I swear to god-” Chuuya sighed, far too exhausted to deal with Dazai right now. Sometimes full naming Dazai was enough to get him to shut up and work. It was currently his only option besides punching him square in the jaw, so it would have to do.
“Ohhhh, I love when Chuuya uses my first name! He should say it again!” Clearly, this was going to backfire in Chuuya’s face.
“And I hate it when you ONLY refer to me in the third person! Now hurry up, mackerel, I want to go home.”
“I’m too tired for such childish insults, nothing you can say will impact my work ethic!”
“So you’re just going to keep being slow then.”
“Indefinetly.”
“Fuck yo-”
“MEOW!”
Dazai then began to laugh. Chuuya hadn’t heard Dazai laugh in… weeks? Maybe? To say the least, it had been a while and he was shocked. And incredibly confused. Dazai was acting like a child. Not the smirking criminal who had just killed countless men without blinking. A stupid child. This is who Chuuya decided to align himself with. That thought practically brought bile to his throat. Stupid Dazai. He was currently back to kicking the dead body, still chuckling at his partner who was staring at him in disbelief.
“Are you high?” It was blunt, but still a genuine question. Dazai had tried to overdose so often that it wouldn't be too surprising if he used drugs for other reasons than suicide.
“You really think I would complete a mission while under the influence of a mild altering substance? Chuuya! I’m heartbroken! Does my commitment to work truly seem so abysmal to you?” Dazai whined, dramatic as ever. Chuuya rolled his eyes, equally as dramatically. “I just don’t know what I’ve done to give you such an impression!”
“So ya think you’re a cat then? I guess that makes sense, no longer human being your ability and all-”
“MEOW! And no, it’s not that. I’ve just decided to make strange noises whenever least expected. Mori really got a kick of it last night!” Chuuya scoffed, annoyed at Dazai’s idiotic response. Of course Dazai would do something as stupid as this, and even worse, of course Chuuya would fall right into his trap. It also explained the bags under Dazai’s eyes (or, well, eye), he was probably forced to stay up all night training harder because of the bullshit he pulled on Mori. Dazai was probably the only person who could - he could not believe this was a sentence he was thinking - meow at the boss without getting obliterated. Chuuya was sure that there were still repercussions though.
“You’re such a shithead, I don’t know why I just haven’t killed you yet!” Chuuya said, turning away from the bandaged, apparently meowing, mess and his pile of bodies.
“I think the silly slug would miss me! Who would remind him to drink his milk to help him grow?” that made Chuuya whip his head around, as it always did.
“WE’RE JUST TEENAGERS! I STILL HAVE THREE DAMN GOOD YEARS LEFT TO GROW!!”
“Hm? Really? I was just asking Mori last night! He said most men stop growing at 16! Especially ones with bad taste in clothing”
“NO HE DIDN’T!! AND I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I HAVE GREAT TASTE IN-”
Chuuya cut himself off as he saw Dazai open his mouth, ready to interrupt him. “IF YOU’RE ABOUT TO MEOW, I'D START COUNTING YOUR FUCKING DAYS!!” Dazai stared directly into Chuuya’s eyes, grinned, and whispered.
“Meow!”
“DAZAI! I SWEAR TO GOD!”
“Meooooooooow!”
“I’m going to fucking rip your bandages off and wrap them so tightly around your stupid neck that the only noise you’ll be able to make is a fucking meow!”
“Meo-”
Just as Chuuya began to charge at Dazai again, a voice cleared its throat, making them both turn their heads quickly. Much to their luck, it was just Hirotsu.
“Boys, come on. It’s quite late and the boss sent me to collect the two of you before you killed each other. I had more faith, but it seems as though his premonition was correct. I’ll get someone else to clean the rest of your mess for you both, so don’t worry about that anymore,” Hirotsu pushed softly, clearly done with the two boys.
“It’s not my mess! It’s Dazai’s! He’s being an asshole and making stupid animal noises instead of finishing the damn job!”
“Well it’s not my fault that the chibi made me go off topic, I could be cleaning AND meowing right now! But nooo, according to him it’s one or the other!”
“Damn you Dazai! It’s not always my fault!
“Oh really? I could disagree! Slugs aren’t typically very skilled at mafia style missions.”
"NEITHER ARE CATS!"
Hirotsu just stared at them, observing their fight with much amusement. He then chuckled, interrupting them from continuing their never ending bickering match. “The car is down the road. Would you like a ride back to the port or would you like to find the way yourselves?” The teenagers shared one final look of hatred to each other before more sighing dramatically and following the older man back to the car.
They both looked exhausted. The mission Mori had sent them on was far from simple and had taken countless hours. Hirotsu seemed to be the only person in the mafia that understood that children have different limits than adults (that, of course does not mean he states this to Mori, that wouldn't end well for any party involved). He was well aware that the partner’s bickering was childish, but he was very grateful for them they got to be childish together.
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Chuuya on the other hand was not happy about Dazai’s childishness. His meowing seemed to never stop, but it was an especially bad habit over the next year. Doing paper work? “Meow!” Post-corruption? “Meeeow!” Executive meeting? (Though Chuuya could not confirm for sure, comments from Mori suggested that this was in fact a time where Dazai would-) “MEOW!”
And, much to Dazai’s embarrassment, on one very memorable occasion, just after the first kiss (of many) shared between them. As Chuuya slowly pulled away, hand cradling Dazai’s face, he was met with a shaken stare and a bulging eye. A quickly blurted out “MEOW!” was the last thing Chuuya heard before the brunet charged away from him.
It became a weird obsession for Dazai and it NEVER got less annoying. Chuuya especially felt pity for the victims who heard it before being killed. Imagine the last thing you ever heard being that idiot meowing? That is the type of shit that could genuinely haunt Chuuya’s nightmares.
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But as they got older, the habit obviously dissipated. It was silly when they were children, but they were older now. They were far too old for stupid noises like meowing. They were 18, legal adults. 18, able to drink and gamble and apparently do solo jobs and forget about old partnerships. Able to make new friends and grow apart.
But both of them remembered all the countless fights they had over the stupid noise. Dazai remembered how easy it was to provoke Chuuya with it and how Chuuya fell for it every time. Chuuya remembered meowing mockingly at Dazai after they shared kisses. Neither of them would forget the teasing or the inside joke it became for the pairing.
At 22, if for whatever reason Chuuya hears someone meow, he practically flinches and decides that he either needs a strong drink or a hard mission.
Dazai simply allows himself a soft smile, hoping that reminiscing on the good things in the mafia doesn’t count as breaking his promise to move on.