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"You hurt me."
A clean statement. Plain and simple. Silver's voice is flat and gentle. Unlike the words he spoke that cut through Lilia's heart worse than any dagger, sword or arrow ever could.
ever would.
The grass beneath them is cold. It sends a shiver down the fae's spine. Silver continues, his eyes on the half moon hung on the abysmal sky.
"Never physically, never intentionally but you still hurt me."
The fireflies at Diasomnia shine brighter than any other dorm's. Always a sight to behold, but today, as they illuminated Silver's pale face that held no contempt, Lilia found them only insufferable.
"The meals you cooked…were always painful to chew. I'd often bite the inside of the cheek or hold my breath and do my best to just swallow. When i was younger, I'd feed it to the squirrels and birds when you weren't looking but soon, they stopped turning up when it was meal time."
A soft pause.
"But I could never bring myself to dispose of it. You were the one who made it."
Silver always looked forward to visiting the Zigvolts during mealtime. Lilia used to think he wanted to see Sebek and never questioned why always mealtime.
"You'd tell me stories from your travels every time you returned. The tarts of Queendom of heart, the sun drenched view of the Savanna, the bustling of silk city, the conch shell ornaments you lost on your way back from the Coral sea. And then you'd ask me if I wanted to travel too."
The sweetness of the tarts and pies had completely escaped from his mind. The image of both the Savanna and Silk city in his mind was dull and void. Lilia didn't even remember where those shell ornaments went.
But his son did. Even though he never saw them because Lilia never took him.
"You'd always tell me I could travel the whole world once I was older. You thought I'd like it but the truth is, I wanted to do it with you. Actually I just wanted to spend time with you."
Silver pinched his ears, a gentle smile on his face as if reminiscing of fond time gone by.
"I never realized our physical differences."
Realized.
Past tense. Lilia knew what made his oblivious son become aware.
Who.
"It was hard to not notice after what happened. I worried you back then. I hurt you back then."
No.
It had been Lilia who hurt him.
"From then on…You treated me more carefully. Didn't tell me to get the clothes from outside when it was raining, boiled hot water for me to shower with during the cold months. You even started talking me to the Zigvolt's every single time I showed symptoms of catching a common cold."
Oh how long had it taken Lilia to start those? How long had his son ran out in the rain? How long had his son poured cold water over his small body? How long had he gone sick before Lilia decided it was lasting too long to be anything small?
"You wanted me to be independent."
Silver finally turned towards him and Lilia almost broke. Because there was no hurt in his beautiful aurora eyes, no despair, no rage, no blame.
Only acceptance, Only understanding. Only excuses for him.
"Because you didn't–couldn't be with me forever."
Silver took his shaking hand. Lilia's whole body was trembling. Why?
Why? Why was he shaking when it was his son who had spent his entire childhood being hurt?
Why was his son the one comforting? Had Lilia ever comforted him?
Not in a long time.
"When you said you'd be leaving…I didn't know what to do."
Silver laughed and Lilia's heart cracked. His son had grown so much. Gotten so strong.
Lilia made him this way.
A month ago, He would be proud.
Now, he is in shambles.
"I had so much to tell you, so much to show you. So much but I knew I couldn't. I couldn't hold you back when you had prepared for so long to–"
For the first time, Silver pauses. For the first time, He looks displeased and Lilia wished it was at him.
He had fought a war. He had looked through the entire Twisted Wonderland to find a way to hatch Malleus. He had taken countless lives. He was next door neighbors with violence.
He was utterly unfamiliar with his son's hesitance.
His son. The son he raised, the son he passed down his swordsmanship to, the son he taught independence to, the son who he was going to abandon.
His son who was displeased with himself.
"I wanted you to stay."
Silver admitted. The fact that he had to say it out loud in the first place made Lilia realize how much he failed as a father.
"as a child, as an adult, I always wanted you to stay. Maybe not always but I wanted you to come back. Even if it took a long time."
And what did he do?
Tell them he was leaving? Never coming back? Throw a party and expect them to send him off with smiles on their faces?
Yes. That's exactly what he did. What he expected.
He was wrong.
So so wrong.
"I wanted you to stay. A little longer. Malleus and Sebek did too."
Silver took a deep breath. Lilia could tell at a glance that his son was about to doze off. Yet he tried his best to keep his eyes open.
"And I was hurt when you didn't."
Silver's body leans over, completely limp. His head falls on Lilia's shoulder. The fae doesn't waste a second to wrap his arms around his son.
"I…I really….dad…"
His son's voice is low, more like a dreamy murmur than a coherent sentence but he tries his best to keep going. As if afraid of not being able to.
As if Lilia won't be here when he comes to.
"It's okay."
Lilia mumbles, just like he used to when Silver would get a nightmare as a child. It's been a long time since then. It felt long even by his standards.
"I'll be there when you wake up."