Chapter Text
Anonymous: Oh requests!! ^^ maybe something anguish like blind! Mikasa? (Capable of blinking) maybe after an expedition and she got hurt badly losing her sight and Eren tries to help her through it while assuring her that he won't leave her side?
Nightmares were nothing unusual for Eren. He’d been having them since before his mother died, and then they never stopped. Some were bearable, some woke him out his blankets twisted up all around him, some he woke up with tears in his eyes, but some were worse than others.
She was falling.
Eren didn’t see her get hit; he barely even heard his voice screaming her name as he tried to use his gear to take off after her. She looked so limp falling through the air, her black hair flowing in the wind, her eyes closed but he could barely tell with all the blood that was covering her pale cheeks.
Someone else was calling his name but he ignored them, he was so close. Just a little bit further. He couldn’t let her hit the ground. She’d never survive. Bile rose up in the back of his throat when his mind reminded him she might already be gone. She was just in reach, just a little bit further and he could get to her.
A large hand snapped her up just out of Eren’s grasp.
He shot up in his bed, a hand pressed to his aching chest as he tried to catch his breath. His eyes squinted when they opened; the room was much brighter than he was expecting it to be.
“Hey, easy, you’re gonna re-open your wounds.”
Eren’s stomach sank so quickly he thought he might throw up. He barely noticed the wrappings around his waist, the ache in his head, all he saw was Armin sitting next to the bed, not Mikasa. “Where is she.”
Armin looked tired. He was bandaged up around his arm but other than that he looked okay. “Do you remember anything?”
It came back in flashes, only making Eren’s head throb more than it already was. “We, um, we got attacked on the mission.” The fight came back to him some, but what stood out the most was the way Mikasa looked when she was falling through the air. His stomach clenched when he realized that wasn’t a dream. “Where is she, Armin?”
Armin bit down on his lip. “You should wait till you’re healed more. You’re in no shape to help anyone right now.”
Eren was already kicking his legs over the edge of the bed. “The last thing I remember was trying to catch her and something else got to her first. I’m not fucking around, Armin. Tell me.”
“She’s alive,” Armin said.
A little relief filled Eren’s chest, but it didn’t make him feel better; he knew there were things worse than death.
“Levi got to her shortly after she got grabbed.” Armin stood to his feet with a sigh, gesturing for Eren to try and stand up. “I’ll take you to her cause you’ll probably go on your own the moment I leave you anyway.”
At least he knew Eren well enough by now. He pushed himself up to his feet but the moment he did the room started to spin. Armin’s hands were around Eren’s waist in a moment, blond head nudging under Eren’s arm so he could have more support.
“Thanks,” he murmured. All he felt was dizzy and sick but it would be worse if he didn’t know. He had to see she was okay. She was always okay, he shouldn’t worry but he knew now more than ever Mikasa was just human.
Armin helped Eren down the otherwise empty halls of their makeshift base. He wondered how many came back this time, if any other friends were lost. He almost asked but he couldn’t. He could only focus at one thing at a time and right now that was Mikasa. The image of her falling, blood covering her face was all he could see, making his stomach turn.
He couldn’t save her. After all those times she saved him, he couldn’t even be there for her. He didn’t even know what was wrong, how she was hurt, but it didn’t matter. He couldn’t catch her before it was too late.
“Right here,” Armin said, nodding towards a door at the end of the hall. He reached forward to the knob, pushing it open into the room.
It was bright like Eren’s was, curtains drawn so the sun was shining in. From a distance she didn’t really look that bad. He saw bandages covering part of her arm, more under her waist where her shirt was sliding up. Armin helped Eren in the room, sitting him down at the chair by her bed. It was from there he saw clear as day the bandages wrapped over her eyes.
The blood on her face. Something happened to her eyes.
“We’re not sure exactly what happened,” Armin said, not waiting for Eren to ask. “But we think she got caught off guard by something and got hit in the face.”
His jaw clenched. “How bad?”
Armin sighed, running his hands over his face. “The medics who took care of her said there’s a good chance she may never see again.”
Eren felt like he got punched in the stomach. He leaned over, dropping his face into his hands despite the pain shooting through his chest. God. It would destroy her if she didn’t know yet. Mikasa might’ve never wanted to join the military but she was a hell of a solider; it would kill her to be stuck back at base while him and all her friends were risking their lives and she wasn’t there. But how could see ever use her gear, fight Titans when she couldn’t even see?
He felt a hand on his shoulder.
“She’s tough, you know that,” Armin said in that gentle voice of his. “She’ll learn to adapt faster than anyone I know.”
Eren tried to say something in response but his throat was so dry he didn’t even know if he had a voice. But how would he ever see the light in her eyes again? It was rare these days, but sometimes she’d smile and her eyes would light up like they did when she was younger, like everything was okay again.
The bed creaked a little and his head shot up, and then pounded in his skull in protest. Eren really didn’t care though. Mikasa moved a little but he had no idea if she was actually awake or not.
“Is someone there?” she asked, her voice hoarse.
“Yeah,” Eren said, leaning forward towards the bed, placing his hands on the sheets.
“Eren? Should you be up yet?”
Leave it to Mikasa to worry about him first and foremost. “I’m fine, Armin’s here too.”
“Hey, Mikasa,” he said.
She started to push herself up on her elbows, trying to sit up but she was struggling a bit. Whatever hit her, must’ve hit her hard to get her to hurt like this. Ignoring the swell of hatred for whatever put the titans in the world, he reached over to help her, carefully grabbing under her arms.
“Thank you,” she breathed, leaning back against the headboard.
Eren sat down on the edge of her bed, watching her carefully.
“Stop staring at me,” she murmured. “I’ll be fine.”
He looked over to Armin, not wanting to ask her if she already knew but Armin nodded. “Are you feeling okay, then?”
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me.”
Guilt rose in his throat making his stomach turn. “Mikasa, I’m sorry, if I ha-”
She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault but mine. I rushed in and that’s on me.”
But it’s because you were protecting me, is what he wanted to say, because you always put me first, but he bit down on his lip instead. He didn’t know what to say. He always knew what to say to her, but this? He had no idea what to do.
“Eren?” Her voice was hesitant this time.
“Yeah, what is it?”
“Will you, um, help me get these off,” she asked tugging at the strips of gauze on her face.
“Oh, is that…” He looked up to Armin. “Is that okay?”
“Just do it carefully and see if we need to replace them,” Armin said.
Eren leaned forward, trying as carefully as he could to unwrap the thin fabric from her face without hurting her. She sat there patiently not even flinching as if everything was okay, or she just trusted him that much. He sure didn’t trust himself that much; his fingers were shaking at each turn around her head slowly revealing the red skin and healing scrapes around her eyes.
When the last wrap dropped to the side of the bed, Mikasa, she still looked like herself, though like she got burnt and hit around the eyes, but it was still her. Her eyes were dark and they didn’t move around at all, just staring off even though he knew she was probably turned to the sound of his voice.
“We can probably leave them off for a bit,” Armin said. “I’ll go get some fresh bandages.”
“Thanks, Armin,” Eren said, watching the blond leave the room, door closing behind him.
Silence filled the air. Eren looked down at his hands, unsure what to say or do. She wouldn’t accept his apologies but what else could he do? This just felt like his fault. Whether she was trying to help him or because he didn’t get to her fast enough. If he was stronger, just maybe he could’ve stopped it. Maybe she’d still be able to see him.
“You don’t have to stay,” she said, though her voice cracked a bit at the end.
“Like hell I’m leaving,” he grunted, crossing his arms against his chest before more guilt started to sink in. “Well, I mean, unless you don’t want me to.”
“I do, I just…” Her hands fidgeted with the blanket in her lap. “I don’t want you to stay because you feel guilty. I don’t want you to look at me and feel guilty. I don’t…”
He swallowed. Typical Mikasa, never wanted to be a burden, never wanted him to worry. “I want to stay because I care about you, you know that right? Any time you need me, I’m here. You’ve always been there for me, I’m here for you too.”
“I’m…” Her voice choked up. “I feel like the whole world was cut off from me. The bed, the room, is here but I can’t see them. You’re here, I know you are, but I can’t…I can’t see your face.”
“That’s okay, you know me, you know my face. Bet you can see it in your head right now.”
“Are your eyes squinting like they do when you’re angry?”
Eren snorted. He was about to say he didn’t do that but he figured she’d actually know better than him. A jolt hit his stomach. He reached for hand hands that were resting in her lap but hesitated before he could move any closer.
They were close, they had always been close. It should be no big deal to grab the hands that saved his life, shoved him when he was being stupid, pointed when he needed to be told off, and yet they looked so delicate. Hands that planted flowers with his mom, that carefully combed through her silky hair, whose touch was so soft.
He carefully took her hands in his. His heart was racing in his chest but for what reason he wasn’t completely sure. This was Mikasa, just Mikasa, and she needed him, she needed his support now more than ever. He had a fluttering feeling that it’s exactly why he was feeling the way he was. Mikasa needed him, like he always needed her even if he never used to wanna admit it.
Eren held her calloused fingers up to his face. Her breath caught in her throat and for a moment she didn’t move at all.
When she did, it was only a gentle brush of her thumb over his cheek and he already had shivers running down his spine. Carefully and delicately her fingers lingered over his face. His eyes fluttered shut as she ran her touch over his cheeks, his nose, his jaw, chin, eyelids, eyebrows, forehead, lips, like she was memorizing him just by a touch.
“You aren’t angry,” she murmured, hands brushing by his cheeks as they fell back down into her lap. “You’re relaxed.”
He didn’t even realize the tension that had left his body, causing him to relax under her touch. He opened his eyes, watching her as she looked in his general direction. “Yeah, now that I know you’re okay, I guess I am.”
A smile pulled at her lips and he swore all the air got sucked out of the room the way he couldn’t breathe anymore. She didn’t need to see to have her face light up the way it used to.
Mikasa was the real hero. She’d keep fighting till she had nothing left in her, nothing would ever stop her. He should’ve known that by now.
Eren took her hand again, pressing it to his mouth so she could feel the small smile pulling at his lips he knew she’d love to see. “Everything is gonna be okay.”
Her fingers traced along his skin as he leaned his head into her hand. “I believe you.”