Chapter Text
Minho always knew he was gay. It was a fact he had accepted when he was 11 years old when he figured out that all his friends all had crushes on girls and he didn't. It was never a big deal to him, he never saw it as an issue that needed to be fixed, it just simply was.
He was 12 when he came out to his mum. his father wasn't around so it was just him and his mom. he never needed to worry about not being accepted by her because they only had each other. his mom always supported him no matter what and it is a big reason he is such a mamas boy.
he was 15 when he had a group of friends that he felt comfortable enough to come out to. he never hid the fact he was gay, he just never outright said it. it was an understanding throughout the group that he was gay. he did clarify one day that he was gay but its wasn't a big deal since everyone pretty much knew. from what he could assume, everyone was accepting and supportive of him.
he was 16 when he figured out he had a crush on his best friend. Han Jisung was everything to Minho. he had been there through everything. from jisung's first heartbreak to his first time getting high. he was there through thick and thin. they were attached to the hip, never seeing one without the other. that's why figuring out he had a crush on jisung was so devastating. he didn't want to lose the beautiful friendship they had curated over the years.
Minho kept it a secret from jisung. he had to. not only was jisung his best friend, he was also straight. he didn't want anything to change between them.
telling his whole friend group about his crush was mistake number one. he couldn't keep any piece of information about himself a secret to save his life. he would rant to his friends about how much it hurt that he had a crush on jisung and how guilty he felt about it. they were comforting about it and promised to not tell jisung.
mistake number three was trusting his friends to keep this promise. the secret was out and jisung knew. he knew and he avoided Minho like the plague. at lunch he would sit with the whole group but avoid talking to Minho, texts between them stopped, talking during class stopped. 2 gruelling weeks of Minho being iced out when jisung finally texted Minho.
"i know that you have a crush on me and to be honest im uncomfortable and we can't be friends anymore" that's what the text said. he knew that it was Seungmin that told him. outside of Minho and jisung being best friends, Seungmin was his second. He was mad at Seungmin for breaking his promise but he gets it.
the next text said "honestly, i knew you were gay but i didn't think you would go as far to have a crush on me. it always made me uncomfortable when you would slap my ass because you were gay but now knowing you had a crush on me makes me feel like you had ulterior motives. i don't want to be uncomfortable so i can't be friends with you." Minho tried to explain himself. he tried to explain that it was never like that until a few weeks ago. he also did that with everyone and everyone did it with each other so he thought we all knew it was a joke.
in the end it was fruitless. jisung blocked him and avoided him in school along with half the friend group. everyone knew what went down. half the group stayed with minho while the other half stayed with jisung.
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the next few months were absolute hell. minho entered a depressive state, not wanting to do anything but rot away in bed. his friends tried to cheer him up but it felt like his entire world had crumbled around him. exams were coming up and he didn't study for anything. he was smart enough to pass so he wasn't too worried about them.
summer came and went and the next school year was coming up. he was dreading it. all summer he was able to waste away and be as depressed as he wanted. he lost a bunch of weight due to him being too depressed to eat and he gained more marks on his arms. his friends supported him as best they could but it didn't magically fix it all. and now summer is gone and he actually has to get up and face the world.
the first day back was pure hell. during his first period he was placed right next to jisung who looked at minho with pure disgust. he quietly sat down leaving as much space as possible and put his airpods in. he didn't care about listening in class, it was all boring introductory stuff anyways. he watched the clock tick by, silently hoping that class would end a little early so he could sit by himself for a few minutes. of course that didn't happen though and he was forced to sit as quietly as possible and try to limit the amount of attention on himself.
his second period might've just been worse if that was possible. they didn't have a set seating plan so he sat in the corner of the room right at the back without taking out his airpods and putting his head on the desk. he felt someone sit beside him but he didn't have the energy to look up and check who it was. he felt a light tap on his shoulder and he was face to face with felix. just great. felix decided that when jisung stopped talking to minho so would he. felix was acting like they were still cool, trying to make conversation and joke around. minho wasn't in the mood. he didn't know why felix was acting like they were still best buds but it was too draining to try understand it. he put his head back down and slept the lesson away. felix apparently didn't get the hint and still kept talking. minho just turned up the volume and tuned him out.
lunch was quite normal other than the group behind him staring daggers into him. of course the group was jisung, seungmin, changbin and felix. it was more so jisung doing the staring but he couldn't figure out why. why was jisung mad when he was the one that stopped being friends? it didn't make sense. he ignored it and turned back to hyunjin and jeongin who were bickering about one thing or another.
the rest of the day dragged on and as soon as the bell rang minho dashed. school felt so confining, like he was drowning where no one could see it. he sought out the comfort of his own bed and the feeling of safety that it bought. he speed walks home and as soon as he enters his own room, he feels like he can relax. he climbs into bed and tries to forget about the shitty mood he's in.
it doesn't last long when his phone is getting spammed by the group chat which has himself, hyunjin, chan, and jeongin. he couldn't mute the chat as much as he wants to because he has the crippling need to be aware of everything in the chat at all times. he opens the chat and its just the other three talking about something nonsensical. he turns his phone on do not disturb and tries to take a nap.
he wakes up two hours later, he checks his phone and one notification sticks out to him.
hyunjin: did you guys see that we have a trip coming up?
jeongin: no? where are we going?
chan: oh i did see that. we're going paris or smth
jeongin: i bet it's gonna be hella expensive tho
hyunjin: nah the school is paying for most of the costs we just have to pay a fee of 100,000 won
jeongin: oh that's actually a lot less than i was expecting
chan: are you gonna go?
jeongin: if you guys go then sure
hyunjin: we should all go it would be fun
chan: exactlyyyy
we're going to paris? what the hell? when was this happening?
minho: we're going to paris? what the hell? i sleep for 2 hours and come back to this???
chan: yeah it was announced during first period
jeongin: he probably wasn't paying attention
minho: ur right i wasn't
suddenly his stomach growls indicating he's hungry. he's learnt to ignore it, feeling too lazy to get up and make food. apparently they're going to paris though, it could be fun. him and his friends roaming around paris, eating some good pastries, seeing the Eiffel tower. he decides to just go back to sleep, he'll talk about it more with his friends tomorrow, hes too tired to even muster up a thought right now.