Work Text:
Threequel (???) to everyone is pregnant
"Why would you do this?" Elphaba asked, locking eye contact with the the younger girl.
"BECAUSE!" Dorothy yelled. Sometimes Elphaba still forgot she was a 12 year old girl. That means soon she will be 13. Which means she’ll be a teenager soon..
"NOOO DOROTHY NOO!" Elphaba threw her hands around the little girls neck. "DONT BECOME A TEENAGER JUST YET PLEASE!"
"Uhh-" Dorothy looks at Glinda, wide eyed.
Glinda also looked at her wide eyed. Hey, they kinda looked alike with their eyes.
"I barely know you." Dorothy mumbled, looking at the scarecrow for help. He was crying with all of his gayness because he REALLY didn’t want to made of hay.
"IKNOWBUTYOULOOKABITLIKEMYWIFEANDYOUARESOYOUNGIJUSTWANTTO-"
Elphaba was cut off by Glinda dragging her off the little girl, her eyes full of anger when Elphaba gave all her attention to that annoying little bitch.
"Maybe you could explain to me WHY in HELL you turned Fiyero and Boq into- WHATEVER they are right now." Glinda yelled, using all her force to hold back a sobbing Elphaba. "I mean- ITS NOT EVEN IN THE DAMN SCRIPT ANYMORE!"
"I just wanted to 😒 I guess.." Dorothy mumbled.
"It’s alright!" Boq glowed. Oh my god was that a pregnancy glow? Was Boq pregnant, whilst being made of tin? "We can adopt her!"
"WHAT?!" Elphaba yelled.
"Come on! Glinda’s already pregnant so you’ll already have a kid-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU GINGER!!!"
"Guys I already have a loving uncle, aunt and chicken-" Dorothy tried.
"SHUT UP!" Both Boq and Elphaba yelled at the same time.
"Boq were also going to have a kid so-" Fiyero walked over to a very confused Dorothy to kinda back her up.
"Yeah but like-" Boq tried to say before Elphaba kicked him in the leg so he jot a bump in his tin.
"ELPAHAB WTF 😡?!" Boq yelled.
They started arguing for a soldier ten minutes whilst Dorothy watched with a grin on her face, until it got dark. "Hey, do you think I can go home now?" She asked Glinda, who still hated her btw. In case you forgot.
"Hm, no."
"Eh, WHY?"
"Because I think my wife wants to adopt you so-" Glinda somehow, even after never touching dumbbells in her entire life, lifted Dorothy up like it was nothing. "You’re coming home with me."
"I- WHA- THIS IS KIDNAPPING! SCARECROW HELP ME!" Dorothy yelled, but Fiyero just shrugged. He didn’t want her because that meant that annoying dog would follow.
That annoying dog was literally eating his insides right now. Like, chewing on his straws.
"Totoooo😭😭😭" Dorothy sobbed. "Comeeee, leave the gay scarecrow alone"
Toto sneezed at Fiyero but then came running after Dorothy getting carried by Glinda, barking.
Oh my
Oh my god
Toto was homophobic