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It was a good eight months into them seriously dating before the idea of Hitoya’s brother was brought up.
Admittedly, neither of them particularly brought up their family in anything but passing. Salem was closer with his, it seemed, but with them being on the other side of the globe, there was only so much communication they could manage. Hitoya, on the other hand, rarely if ever spoke of his family, to the point his boyfriend had just assumed he was no contact with them. It wasn’t a topic that was broached often.
Salem had no idea where they were going. As soon as Hitoya had picked him up from the train station, he started going a different route entirely. It wasn’t often that he took off work early to get him straight from the station, Salem was usually taking a taxi to the apartment and letting himself in. He had even less of an idea what was happening when Hitoya had started talking about family out of nowhere.
“Have I ever told you I had a brother?” The lawyer had started with.
“You do?” Salem looked up from his phone.
“Mhm. His name was Sora. He’s about four years older than me.”
“What does he do? Is he based in Nagoya, too?”
Hitoya faltered. “He, ah… doesn’t do much. And yeah, he’s based in Nagoya. You could say.”
A moment of tense silence passed. Salem wasn’t stupid by any means, and his blood ran cold as the realization dawned on him. A pit was forming in his stomach as he put his phone away.
“You say his name in past tense,” He said hesitantly, watching Hitoya’s hands as he gripped onto the steering wheel. “What happened?”
Hitoya’s gaze was locked firmly on the road ahead. This was one of the first times he had told someone new about Sora in a number of years. Jyushi and Kuko were the last ones he could recall telling, and it was extraordinary circumstances for both of those instances. Salem was something else; this was his partner he was telling. Someone he was serious about maybe spending the rest of his life with. And unlike Jakurai, their shared partner, Salem wasn’t there when it happened. He never knew Sora. And he never would. Hitoya let out a sigh.
“He was being bullied relentlessly, and it… became too much. I found him hanging.” His voice was low, the words burned in his throat. “He died at eighteen. I was fourteen.”
Salem had been afraid that was where this was going. His heart was in his throat. In all honesty, he wasn’t sure what his boyfriend needed at that moment. It was always tricky with Hitoya, he was a difficult one to read. However, he let instinct take over and he reached out to hold his hand.
“Oh, Hitoya…” He was surprised that he actually accepted the gesture, and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you…” Hitoya couldn’t look at him, but he appreciated Salem’s warmth. “I wanted you to meet him. I figured if you and I were getting this serious, I ought to.”
At that moment, they turned a corner to a nicer looking cemetery. Salem took in a sharp breath. On the one hand, he was honored to be trusted with this. His heart was twisting itself in knots that Hitoya was choosing to be this vulnerable with him. On the other… this was not a subject Salem did well with. Not that Hitoya would have known that. It wasn’t something they had ever discussed before. At the same time, he felt like he was going to be sick.
There was silence as Hitoya parked the car, and Salem finally let go of his hand for a brief moment to exit. The graves here were decently kept, flower bouquets left at most of the headstones. The sun was high in the afternoon sky, beating down on them as Salem followed Hitoya through the rows of graves. It wasn’t too long before they made it to a simple granite headstone, one that read ‘Sora Amaguni.’
“Hey, Sora. Brought someone to meet you.” Hitoya said, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.
“Um… hi there.” Salem smiled as he took in the state of the grave. It wasn’t as well kept as some of the other headstones, with years of dirt in the divots of the stone and vines beginning to grow up the sides of it. There were no flowers. Picking at his fingers, this information began to bother him.
Glancing up at Hitoya, there was a distant look on his face. It seemed like he didn’t come out here as often, at least not as often as he probably felt he should. It was weighing on him. Salem frowned, gently holding onto his boyfriend’s elbow and leaning on his shoulder.
“Thank you for bringing me here.” He murmured.
“Yeah.” Was all he got back.
The two stood in silence for an unknown amount of time. Both were distant, lost in thought. Hitoya was stuck firmly in his past, remembering the way Sora had hung from the ceiling, unnaturally still. The clothes he was wearing, the scent of death hanging in the air, the shattering of his entire world. He was a million miles away, the only thing keeping him grounded was his boyfriend’s warmth on his arm.
Salem couldn’t get past the state of the headstone. A slight frown was on his face, would my family have left me in such a state if I had succeeded? He stole a glance at Hitoya’s face, at that distant stare. He didn’t know anything about what their relationship was like; hell, he hadn’t known about the man’s existence until about twenty minutes ago. Green eyes directed themselves back at the grave as a plan began to form in the back of his mind.
“I think he would have liked you.” Hitoya muttered before letting out a sigh. “Let’s go. Sorry to drop this on you out of nowhere.”
The lawyer turned, and Salem lingered for just a moment, the words breaking his heart. “Yeah… Thank you for telling me.”
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Hitoya was running late today.
He had sent Salem a text saying as much about two hours ago, around the time he normally left the law firm. Salem had arrived in Nagoya on time and had just let himself into the apartment as he always did once he had finally meandered his way there. (There were always stops he made on the way over, Hitoya had noticed.) After doomscrolling for an hour or so, he had dozed off on the couch, snuggled up in his favorite of Hitoya’s blankets.
As he unlocked the door, Hitoya’s hands were trembling. He had noticed that look on Salem’s face when he had taken him to meet Sora three months ago, and it had finally gotten him to take some flowers to his brother’s grave. In truth, he always did on Sora’s birthday, but that sad look at the grave being barren just bothered him endlessly. He figured today was as good a day as any, and had run by a local florist on his way out, grabbing a bouquet for his brother and one for his partner. Salem always got so happy when he surprised him.
Hitoya was the surprised one, though, when he found the grave fully cleaned with a fresh bouquet laid across the ground.
It had been fully and lovingly restored to exactly how it had looked when they had his funeral, all those years ago. Years of dirt and grime had been painstakingly wiped away, the grout cleaned out, the words clear and clean. Someone who cared had done this, and this clearly had been a job they’d been working at for quite some time. Hitoya couldn’t help the tears that came to his eyes, couldn’t help the choked sob that left him.
As he pushed the door open, flowers in hand, he saw Salem curled up on the couch, phone long since dropped onto the floor. Hitoya chuckled, shrugging his jacket off and placing it on the coat rack next to his boyfriend’s. He crossed the room and sat next to Salem, taking one of his hands in his. As he brought the tattooed digits to his lips, he noticed that they smelled like harsh cleaner, and that there was dirt under his nails.
He couldn’t help but clutch onto Salem’s hand.
The movement had made Salem stir, a soft noise leaving him as he returned to the land of the living. A yawn tore from his throat as he stretched, grabbing on to Hitoya’s hand as he did. His eyes opened and he let out a soft laugh at the flowers.
“Mmn, you’re sweet- hey, what’s wrong?” His attitude changed in an instant, seeing the tears on Hitoya’s face. He sat up immediately, reaching out to wipe his face.
“How long?” The lawyer asked, accepting the affection.
“What?” Salem was confused. “How long what?”
“How long have you been cleaning his grave?”
A flush settled on his face as he realized he had been caught. “Uh… ever since you told me about it. It didn’t sit right with me for it to be so- oof!”
The sudden, bone crushing hug cut him off, knocking the wind from him. Hitoya was much stronger than he was, and feeling the full force of his grip was a lot. However, he soon melted into the gesture, wrapping his arms around Hitoya as his ribs got bruised and his partner shook.
“I love you.” The words were muffled against Salem’s shoulder.
He smiled. “I love you, too, Hitoya.”