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Jamie was a special woman. A woman, different from others. Exactly that uniqueness is what made a certain Willow Lenney fall in love with her.
However, she would never dare to speak aloud those sinful feelings.
As a woman of god she was preached since childhood that she was to find a husband, marry him, and birth his children. Any sort of feelings outside that line were shameful. The sheer existence of those feelings and desires made her feel like she was a sinner of the highest degree, doomed to burn in hell for simply falling in love with the woman they call Jamie Marriott.
Her knees pressed against the kneeling bank of her church. Another Sunday service she didn’t dare to miss. Her mind made her believe, if she prayed enough and pleased god, she might still have a place in heaven after all. “May god bless you all” the pastor spoke, ending the Sunday service. On her way out her phone vibrated. A text from Jamie.
Jamie
Are you picking me up from the station?
When are you here
About 15 minutes
Yea sure I’m close
Why that?
Was at Church
See Ya in 15
Jamie’s text send a shiver trough her, her heartbeat quickening. Was it anxiety, was it guilt, was it— no it was sinful and she needed to get those thoughts out of her head for as long as the cross was around her neck.
“Ah shit” Jamie cursed under her breath, looking at her phone. “Is there an issue with your train” Willow asked. “Yea, it’s been cancelled, weather caused trees to fall on the tracks.” She sighed, sinking back into the armchair. Her biceps flexing against the loose straps of the dark top she wore. Willows eyes trailed up and down those arms. Imagining what it would feel like to have those hands run through her hair and all over her body.
“Willow?” That snapped her right out of her thoughts, sinful thoughts. “Huh?” “I asked if I could crash at yours, skip the cost for a hotel?” She repeated “oh yea sure mate why not” she regretted those words the second they left her mouth. The object of her sinful desire, in her home, potentially in her bed.
“So I’ll take the sofa and you’ll get the bed” Willow spoke quick, avoiding eye contact. “What no are you insane I’m not stealing your bed let me take the sofa” she cut her off. “No but the sofa is fucked and I don’t wanna fuck up your back” willow argued “well then we’ll share your bed. Nothing wrong with that” Jamie stated in a voice that signifies the end of this conversation.
“I’ll just go” Willow coughed, clearing her throat “take a shower” she spoke, stumbling over her voice. “You good?” Jamie asked, something serious tainting her voice “yea, just knackered” willow lied.
The warm water ran down her face and across her body till it collected in a puddle on the tiles, disappearing in the drain. Her thoughts were spiralling. The thought of Jamie being next to her tonight send a shiver trough her, a shiver of anxiety and shame but also excitement and a small tinge of lust.
Every night when she laid in bed all alone, she had one fantasy. It danced around her head when the moon high. When the darkness enveloped her room. Only in that darkness she dared to fantasise, to touch herself in places it was sinful to do so. How could a god that was portrayed as this all loving being, condemn her to eternal suffering for the sheer sin of love.
After returning from the shower she rummaged through her closet. Searching for a set of clothes to give to Jamie. She settled on a pair of black shorts and a white loose top. She herself had a pink and white striped silk shirt with matching shorts.
Seeing Jamie in her clothes did something to Willow. Her eyes wandered all the way from her muscular calfs over her thick thighs along her hips where the shorts sat loose, ending just below her arse. Her eyes travelled further up along the perky breasts that were more than just a little visible in the white top, along the collar bone and finally finding Jamie’s eyes.
Willow stopped, breath hitching as she noticed Jamie was staring too. “Enjoying the view” she joked. “What if I was” Willow responded cocky. A voice, quiet but still there, shouting that what she was doing was sinful, she would burn in hell. Suffer for eternity for a simple feeling like love.
This was stupid, all she was taught was stupid. God never answered her prayers, he never helped her, regardless of following every stupid rule. So god forbid she committed a singular sin. God forbid she caved and lusted. GOD forbid she accepted her love for the one and only Jamie Marriott.
Something in Willows gaze changed, Jamie felt it. A certain lust radiating off her, pupils blown regardless of the large light source above their heads. “Good.” Jamie spoke, stepping closer, brushing a loose strand of Willow’s light brown hair out of her face.
“Jamie” willow squeaked, Voice pitching. “Hm” she hummed in response, her hands resting on Willows cheeks, thumbs brushing over delicate skin. Willows hands held tight onto Jamie’s wrists. “Please take of my necklace” she mumbled, voice shaking. “Are you-“ “just do it” willow interrupted. Jamies hands slowly crawled along her jaw, finding the clasp at the back of her neck. With a simple press it fell into Willows hands. She stared at it for a second before throwing it on the floor.
For years she suppressed her thoughts, hid who she was, tried to change herself for a god that was supposed to love her no matter who she was. She was so sick of it all. She never ever wanted to look back at it, at the cross, at the church. Let it all behind and finally be who she is.
With that she dove in, connecting hers and Jamie’s lips with so much desire and years of yearning all coming crashing down in a second. She led the taller woman to the edge of the bed, not daring to break the kiss even as she pushed Jamie down and settled on her thighs. The thighs she had seen in many dreams, many fantasies, Now finally below her as she kissed the lips she yearned for since 2019.
The kiss broke, both panting in search of oxygen. “Willow” Jamie started “shut up” Willow interrupted “sorry that came out rude” she corrected herself “we can talk tomorrow. Now please kiss me” she spoke—no, she begged. Jamie liked that, the sound of willow begging for something. It made her feel something. “Was that someone begging” Jamie teased her, inches away from willow. “Don’t. Start” Willow squeezed Jamie’s waist. “No no, I like that” she grinned before reconnecting their lips.
That night proved to Willow, a God who would let her burn and suffer for loving Jamie, was not a god worth loving.