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No one actually wanted to be in the room in this moment. Anyone could tell that from the looks of pure, agonising boredom all around the room. Still, Valentina made it her personal mission to continue talking and talking and talking. No one actually knew what was going on, not that this meeting was about a mission anyway.
Yelena and Ava are playing ‘rock paper scissors’ under the table, while Antonia and John are having a silent conversation from across the table, Bucky has managed to sleep (which shows just how boring this meeting is considering it takes a lot for Bucky to fall asleep) and Bob is just… Bob. You’re convinced he doesn’t even know what happened. Curse that damn cinnamon roll.
It would be safer to call this a ‘behavioural lecture’ like the kind you get from your parents when you’re sitting in a car and going on a long drive where they just won’t SHUT UP no matter how many times you say “Okay, bro, i get it” and you can’t just walk away either.
What brought this on was the last mission you were sent on. The entire team was needed… including Alexei. To outline what went wrong, it involves cheese, a farmers market that was NOT on the mission objective and two Karens (one of which being Alexei himself).
Every now and again, everyone glares daggers at him, to which he just smiles sheepishly at.
You’ve hit your head on the back of your chair for the eighteenth time now before Bob squeezes your hand under the table again. You smile softly at him as he smiles back.
And that, guys, girls, and gays and theys is when it hit you.
The smile creeps on your face and Bob’s face falls. He knows that look all too well. He mouths an exaggerated “Don’t you dare!” to which you just nod vigorously at, a wicked grin splitting your face.
Valentina’s voice droning on in the background stops for a moment, where she turns her attention to you,
“Something funny going on that you two would like to share?”
And that’s when you make your move.
“No, Ma’am.” High pitched, childish, small, yet loud.
The voice you and Bob dubbed ‘The Mort Voice.’
Valentina blinks. Once. Twice. Opening her mouth then closing it again like a fish out of water before words finally come back to her,
“…What?”
“What?” You say defensively, still in that voice.
You can hear the shuffle of the team turning their attention on you too, drawn to what the hell you’re doing, wanting to see how this ends. Even Bucky is blinking his way back to consciousness.
“Stop that.” her voice is firm and commanding.
“Stop whaat?” Yours is drowned in faux innocence.
“Stop talking like that, I’m serious.”
“So am I, Ms Fontaine. What are you gonna do about it?” You know you’re testing your luck, but it’s worth it to hear the life come back into the room in the form of muffled laughter.
It takes her a moment to find her words again, “I will… I will fire you.”
You whip your head toward Bob, “Did she just say that?” You turn your head to Antonia, “She really just said that,” You turn back around to Valentina, “Oh-oh-oh that’s kinky.”
That’s what did it. The table breaks into laughter, even Bucky’s fully awake now and laughing along. You see Valentina’s face turning bright red and rivalling a tomato.
“I can’t.” She drops the pen she was holding and just walks out.
Mission accomplished.