Chapter Text
I think I like Rohan, Josuke thought.
It was a selfish thought.
It was also a horrible thought.
It was a cruel and unusual punishment-type of thought. A thought he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy. A thought that makes you want to curl into a ball and cry into a pillow, and trust him, he thought about it.
It’s a thought that you think and instantly regret. A thought that you try to hide from and makes you want to hop into your car and drive the other direction, only you can’t because you thought it. A thought that Josuke must accept.
Josuke was lying in bed trying to sleep and trying to think of peaceful, nice thoughts to wash him over to sleep. Thinking about nice memories throughout the previous days with his friends and family, but then he thinks of Rohan.
This wasn’t normal, because Rohan is anything but peaceful and nice. Especially to Josuke, he gets under his skin, makes his nose scrunch, and his eyes squint even harder. He was irritated and immediately became more awake than he had been a couple of seconds ago.
Earlier that day, he was hanging out with Okuyasu when he waved over Koichi and Rohan to sit with them. Rohan immediately declined, as he always did, but still stayed in the vicinity waiting for Koichi to be done with his idle chatter with his former classmates. Rohan would put his input in when they discussed a topic that he was particularly keen on and finally took a seat beside Josuke.
As Rohan was talking about... Maybe fruit? Or did it have something to do with tea? He couldn’t remember. But whatever side Rohan was batting for, Josuke chose the exact opposite team. Josuke and Rohan then proceeded to talk (argue) about something so unimportant that he doesn’t even remember.
He didn’t really care to be fair, it was something that he didn’t even agree with. He did it to provoke the smaller man. But this talking (arguing) did just that. Because just after a final prod from Josuke, critiquing Rohan’s favorite fruit/tea. Rohan stood up from his seat, took out his pen, and before Josuke knew it, Rohan used Heaven’s Door on him.
Josuke then proceeded to do the Macarena (at least that’s what his father said it was called) dance for an hour. The whole time Rohan had that small smirk while people pointed and laughed at Josuke, some people even joined in and did the dance alongside him or even sang part of the song before resuming on with there lives. His friends were of no help, just laughing and giggling throughout the whole hour.
He was ready to die of embarrassment when his professors came over to him. His limbs were sore after the hour was up.
Even still...
No regrets, Josuke thought.
When he heard the laugh that came out of Rohan. The Great Kishibe Rohan was laughing because of something The Normal Higashikata Josuke did.
Josuke wished he could have seen it, but because the Macarena (he still had no idea if that was correct) was a whole-body dance, he couldn’t.
Once he heard the amusing sound of joyous laughter coming out of Rohan, he knew that he would immediately do it again just to hear it once more. This is the exact reason why he randomly starts arguments with Rohan about things he doesn’t even remember or care about.
He liked Rohan's reactions.
Ok to be fair, he really liked antagonizing Rohan. It was something about how he pouts when he’s upset and how his nose tilts up a bit. Josuke loved it. Would have that face framed on his wall if he could. The thought alone made him calm and relaxed, almost enough to drift him off to sleep.
But in his stew of thoughts while nearing his slumber, about the grumpy face that Rohan makes when he is upset with Josuke, the adoration and fixation on it that possess Josuke, a question arises in the depths of it all.
Why?
Why do I like Rohan's grumpy face so much that I go through these embarrassing situations just to see it? Still feeling the soreness in his entire upper body. Why do I like antagonizing him even though I know it will only lead to him getting frustrated and taking it out on me, Josuke thought as he played with his duvet cover.
Well, that’s easy, because his grumpy face is adorable, Josuke thought matter-of-factly.
He then let that thought sit with him for longer than he’d rather admit.
He then immediately rose from his bed.
I think Rohan's face is adorable.
“Fuck,” Josuke whispered to himself out loud.
“Fuckkkkkk,” Josuke whined and tossed himself back into bed.
I think I like Rohan, Josuke groaned.
This was bad, like royally bad, like the Kira situation, type bad.
Not because he had been antagonizing the only person he had ever felt feelings for for the past 3-4 years.
Not because he sent the person who makes his heart race to intensive care before. And not because the person who makes him want to become stronger insistently tells Josuke that he hates him.
It was bad because it was Rohan.
Rohan, who has never even smiled while in the vicinity of Josuke. Rohan, who lies to Josuke just so he can avoid being near him.
Rohan, who would rather be caught dead than like Josuke back.
Josuke lies on his bed, exhausted from this revelation. He felt as though he went through the stages of grief in the span of 2 minutes.
He wishes he could see Rohan and tell him everything. First, he’d apologize and then agree with him about the fruit or tea or whatever it was.
Tell him that he was right and he should never doubt The Great Kishibe Rohan, the whole song and dance he does whenever he needs Rohan’s help. Then, once Rohan begrudgingly forgives him, like he always does, with a little smirk on the corner of his mouth, which was basically an inaudible, I told you so. He’d roll his eyes, then, without a word, he’d invite Josuke in for some tea in his living room. Where Josuke will converse with Rohan about his paintings and manga because he knows Rohan could talk about his pain-in-the-ass editor or story plots for hours.
And finally, after Rohan has finally gotten comfortable, Josuke will confess what he’s feeling.
He’ll tell Rohan everything about how he doesn’t hate him, far from it. That he likes Rohan.
He likes to antagonize him because he finds it immensely attractive when he gets worked up. He likes to tease him because he likes him and wants to be with him and kiss that grumpy face away. He wants to hear about his day and his shitty editors, or about the drafts of his manuscripts, even though he doesn’t like mangas. He wants to taste the tea or fruit that led him to this whole realization. He wants the taste of him on his lips. He just wants to be near him, and he knew that even before tonight.
Tonight just made him realize that he wants it all. He wants all of Rohan for himself.
But moreover, he wants those green eyes to look up at him to see them fill with contentment, close the distance between the two of them, placing his hand on Josuke's face to bring him closer and finally smile freely for Josuke.
God, he wants that smile immensely.
So much so, the thought alone drifts him off to sleep.