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Food had always been an issue. An inconvenience. Something he had to deal with, instead of something he could say he enjoyed. And it was extremely frustrating too, seeing how other people didn’t seem to have any problem figuring out what to eat, because there was always a choice they would like to have, so they didn’t have to force themselves to eat.
Picky eaters were not rewarded in the sect —or anywhere, to be honest—. Having enough food to eat and a roof over yourself to sleep safely at night is already enough of a privilege for most people in this nation! his Shizun told him, whenever Yin Yu had refused to eat something. How dare you act like this?! What sort of cultivator do you thing you’ll end up being, when you can’t even appreciate the food you’re offered?!
Failing to enjoy his food was a shameful thing, akin to a moral failure. It was a flaw in his character, a fundamental defect that must be corrected, if he ever hoped to become a righteous cultivator, and even more if he dared to think of ascending.
Food ended up being a source of constant suffering, but he had to push through. Had to find ways to deal with it.
That was why one of his most important personal goals when it came to his cultivation was to be able to reach a stage where his qi would be able to sustain him through inedia. And even if he knew that it would take a lot of effort to reach that point —and he might not manage to do it— he hoped that, along the way, he would at the very least be able to sustain himself on less food than before.
Of course he knew that he needed to eat. He felt hunger and thirst; he had the same bodily needs as any other person! It was just hard for him to find things to eat that he didn’t viscerally hate, or were not frowned upon as meal choices.
If he was away from the sect for some reason —because he had been sent on a mission, or was dealing with some business in the name of the sect in a different town, or things like that— he got to eat things he actually enjoyed, without anyone to scold him for it, since he either cooked for himself or bought something in the markets.
But when he was in the sect —which was most of the time— his choice was to stick to the same foods every day, without much variation, since that would be less of a problem for him. Plain congee for breakfast, with some veggies for the toppings, depending on what was available each season. No meat, as he always had a reason to dislike it —too greasy, or the color was weird, or there was a bit that looked weird, or it was too dry, or not cooked enough, or… —
It was already enough of a challenge to be able to eat anything in the mornings, since he almost never was hungry so early. But he would not be allowed to eat outside the times where the mess hall was open, and even knowing that the people in charge of the kitchens would offer him some snacks if he asked, he didn’t want to get in trouble.
He was the head disciple, after all. It came with responsibilities and an image to keep. He was a considered a very talented cultivator, but it wasn’t only his talent who brought him to that position. He had worked extremely hard for it! And since he had finally managed to get the approval and appreciation of his superiors, he wasn’t going to risk it for a whim.
He was not a child about to get scolded by his shizun anymore. Even more, he was a role model for his fellow disciples, and he did his best to help them all and be worthy of their admiration.
Quan Yizhen’s arrival to the sect meant he got an even bigger responsibility as a shixiong.
It also brought a lot of conflicting feelings for Yin Yu.
The boy was extremely talented, which compensated for what he lacked in manners and social skills in general. He was a hard worker too, something that, coupled with his natural talent, gained him the protection of his superiors, who wanted to keep him in the sect and foster his abilities at any cost: they were much more permissive with him than they ever were with anyone else.
The rest of the disciples did not take that well, of course.
And Yin Yu found himself being quite permissive too, for many reasons, but it wasn’t like he had no issues with Quan Yizhen.
…Looking back at those days, and same as with anything when looking in hindsight, he knew he should have acted differently.
Yet the fact was that he did not, and even if, in some sense, he resented Quan Yizhen for getting a special treatment… he was, above all, endeared by his silly antics, and felt very protective of him. His shidi was a source of pride as a shixiong, and also, in a small corner of his heart, he saw himself in some of his attitudes.
Quan Yizhen got away with lots of things thanks to it.
Yin Yu always made sure that his shidi had enough food to eat and that there was always something he enjoyed available at meal times. He didn’t scold Quan Yizhen for having needs. Didn’t demand of him to hide his struggles, even if he still taught him all the valuable lessons he could think of, and reminded him of the importance of being thankful and repaying all the kindness he ever received.
Sometimes, helping Quan Yizhen resulted in unexpected benefits for Yin Yu, too. Like getting to enjoy some dishes that he couldn’t before, or that were not available as frequently.
Unlike Yin Yu, Quan Yizhen did like to eat, and was eager to try new foods, even if it meant he constantly found new things he disliked. And when he liked something, he ate a lot. Well, he was still growing, and needed to compensate for his previous malnutrition and for the energy he spent in training, so it was understandable.
Still, Yin Yu didn’t expect to get some good memories related to food, after hating it so much.
Later on, though, eating was an afterthought, if anything. Ascending finally freed him from needing to eat, and he only did it if it was required by the etiquette of the Upper Court. At least the banquets there had plenty of options… and no one really cared if he left early, anyway.
After his banishment, though… Well, he ate because he had to, and ate what was available, because otherwise he would not be able to sustain his mortal body. In the company of Jian Shi, they make do with what they could procure in the wilderness —hunting, fishing, and foraging— and whatever basic things they could get in the markets of the towns they visited. That was definitely not a time to be picky… and paradoxically, having simpler meals and less options was easier on him. Simple foods were the easiest for him to eat.
During his time as the Waning Moon Officer, he went back to his old strategy: sticking to specific dishes, to ensure his nutrition, without really caring about variety or enjoyment. His employer made sure that he had access to anything he needed, of course, but Yin Yu had no intention to waste the little free time he allowed himself to have on something like cooking. So he procured himself simple meals and the occasional snack by visiting the few stalls at the Ghost Market that made food safe for humans.
Who could have predicted that he would get to enjoy food again… after dying?
Ah, so many things had changed after his death, but there was one constant across all the different eras of his existence: Quan Yizhen. His fluffy and persistent shidi was an unstoppable force, and his love and devotion for Yin Yu did not disappear nor diminish, no matter the time or the circumstances, to the point that —with some external help— he brought Yin Yu back from his death.
That wasn’t the only thing he did, of course.
The list would be endless, and yet he never asked for anything in return.
Shixiong has already done so much for me, this is just the repayment for it.
This shidi would be nothing if not for shixiong.
Shixiong deserves much more than this!
Those were the sort of things Quan Yizhen was always saying, whenever he did something for Yin Yu, or gave him some gift. He was constantly making efforts to get Yin Yu to smile, with the same tireless drive that he used to have for training.
Slowly, he managed to get Yin Yu to enjoy life again. Or, well, afterlife.
And even when none of them needed to eat, he prepared the foods that he knew that Yin Yu used to enjoy, he got them the tea they used to drink, and asked Yin Yu which things he liked, how to prepare some thing or another in a way Yin Yu would find tasty, and what things he would rather avoid.
Food wasn’t an inconvenience anymore.
It wasn’t just a bunch of nutrients anymore.
It was time they spent together.
It was devotion, because his shidi took the time to learn all his preferences.
It was joy, because they shared it.
It was a choice, because he was given different options.
It was love, because it was Quan Yizhen who prepared it all.
It was home.