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“Snow? What are you still doing here -” Harrison’s voice breaks through Caitlin’s reverie of thoughts as he steps into the Cortex one night, words suddenly failing him when he sees…
He hadn’t been getting much sleep lately, which was to be expected when one’s daughter was now a speedster and constantly finding herself in the face of danger, even when she wasn’t looking for it. But here, with Barry and the others, Harrison knew that he didn’t have to worry about Jesse as much… and yet, on this particular night, something had roused him from his sleep, which led him to the Cortex and upon discovering Caitlin, he finally found the answer to what he had been looking for.
She had been distant these past few days since he and Jesse had arrived through the breach. And at first Harrison thought perhaps it was because of the hug they had shared the last time they’d seen each other; a final goodbye or so he had thought in that moment… not that he would think about it much… not really… certainly not every day… but then he had realized that Barry had traveled back in time to save his mother and they were now living in a post-Flashpoint world. Everything was different and yet felt the same to him, or so he had thought. It hadn’t taken Harrison long to notice the slight changes in Caitlin’s behavior, the way she held herself, the way she seemed to have a sad smile on her face when no one was looking, the way there was something hidden behind her eyes… he had learned to pick up on these things almost instantly, but he remained respectful of her wishes to not ask for details. Until now.
“Oh!” Caitlin’s gasp of surprise at seeing him standing there made him believe that what he was seeing wasn’t a dream. “Harry! What are you doing here?” She jumped up from her chair, hiding her hands behind her back, but it was too late. He had already seen the ice.
“I sleep here… Snow…. what… what happened?” Harrison knew exactly what was going on but for some reason he seemed to be in shock. This was an unexpected development.
“It’s nothing, I just… please… don’t…. I can’t do this right now.” The tears in her eyes were already threatening to fall and she turned away from him.
If only it were as simple as that. Harrison’s watch, the meta-human detector beeped with every step that he took as he closed the distance between them. The answer to his unspoken question and her unsaid words.
“Snow, look at me. Please.” Harrison stopped a few feet away from her and reached out a hand to touch her shoulder.
“Don’t.” Caitlin drew back from him, shaking her head. “I don’t… I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Do you know what happens if I touch you?” His voice was soft but he was focused on her face, the tears on her cheeks, and the urge to wipe them was overwhelming.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know how much it’s taken over me yet… I… I’ve been trying to find a way to… I just… I didn’t want this Harry.” She says with a heavy sigh.
All she wishes is to stop this thing from robbing her the simplest of touches and kisses and hugs. Because somewhere, a part of her knows that this ice will kill… and soon. And she knows she isn’t ready for that. How can anyone be?
“You haven’t told anyone else.” It’s not a question, but Harrison knows that this is her secret and understands her fears. Without knowing the full extent of what has happened to her and what is still happening… she’s been going through this alone. For how long?
“I didn’t want to… not yet. I’m scared. Do you know what that’s like?” She finally dares to meet his gaze that’s been on her ever since he walked into the room. “I’m dangerous. I’m turning into a monster.” Her voice cracks at that last word but she believes it to be true.
And in that moment, Harrison doesn’t care. About anything. He doesn’t care that there’s a chance her ice can kill, he doesn’t care that he’s being foolish or impulsive or rash, he doesn’t care about himself. He only cares about proving her wrong.
“Snow.” Harrison starts to say something, but Caitlin is already making her way out of the Cortex. “Caitlin. Stop.” He takes her hand in his before she can pull away from him again.
Hand on hand. Skin on skin. He can feel it. The cold chill of ice running through her. Killer Frost. That’s who she was to him back on his Earth. The other Caitlin Snow. He remembers her too; but he knows that this isn’t who she will become. The Caitlin standing in front of him here… the one he got to know… the one who saved his life from a bullet… the one who hugged him tight and said goodbye… his Caitlin… isn’t Killer Frost. Isn’t a monster. Isn’t a murderer.
There is pain, he can feel it as the ice slowly starts to burn his skin. But it’s not anywhere near fatal. He can tell that there’s still time before it consumes her completely; this is not the full extent of her powers, this is just the beginning. And if there is time, they can find a way to… to do something about it. He knows, as they both lock eyes once more, that he will do everything in his power to give her hope. That this is something which doesn’t have to control her. But holding her hand isn’t enough to prove anything and Harrison knows it. Without saying another word, he pulls her closer to him and softly places a kiss on her lips. There’s warmth here, not nearly enough but for now… he coaxes her mouth open with his tongue as his arms wind around her body, feeling her hands finally giving in and holding onto him as if it’s the last time she ever will.
When they break apart a few seconds later, Caitlin rests her head on his shoulder and gives herself the chance to be held in his arms. She hasn’t felt like this in a long time… she hasn’t felt… safe. There may be ice in her veins but there’s still fire too. A spark of hope; that maybe she doesn’t have to succumb to these powers, that maybe she can find a way out of this now that Harrison is here with her.
“You’re not alone Caitlin. We’ll get through this together.” Harrison whispers in her ear, as he holds her tight, “I’m here now and I’m not going to leave you ever again. I promise.”