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Kids Do The Darnest Things (and It's Up to Us to Keep Them Alive)

Summary:

Peter was the kind of charming kid that always managed to effortlessly worm his way into people's hearts - the Avengers were no exception.

Notes:

Oh wow. After xxx months, I'm finally posting this! I am sooo sorry rougewinter for taking so long to post this. TT__TT Especially since you gave me back the edits like... a day after I sent you the draft.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

At first, working with Tony Stark was nothing more than duty – for the sake of the earth, and for everything Coulson believed in – he had to ignore the way Stark just got on his nerves and work with the man. Therefore, no one was more surprised than Steve with how much he and Tony just seemed to work so well together. And then Tony took the nuke through the portal with nary a thought for his own welfare, and Steve felt whatever was left of his resentment and dislike for the other man start to fall apart.

They became faster friends than anyone thought possible. Steve knew how strong the bonds forged in battle could be – but sometimes, this felt beyond that. Steve wasn't entirely sure when his fuzzy purely-platonic-feelings started warping into something else entirely, but if he were to take a guess – it would probably have been the time Peter showed up. Seeing Tony with his only child really drove it home for Steve that Tony’s whole textbook narcissism shindig was basically just for show. Admittedly, this cast a shadow of doubt on him ever having had platonic feelings for Tony Stark, seeing as his first encounter with Peter Stark occurred the day after the Chitauri Invasion.

Steve read Tony’s file, of course, so he'd known of Peter Benjamin Stark, mother unknown. But that was it, basically. Peter was written as a brief footnote, and Steve was ashamed to admit he thought Tony completely incapable of taking care of other people, much less impressionable young, and figured Peter was probably constantly left to the care of some distant boarding school or caretaker. Steve had never been so glad to be proven wrong.

After the Invasion, they all “crash” at Tony’s place (since it is the nearest and most comfortable place to rest) and the next morning, while Steve and Bruce are watching Thor shovel about half a ton of food into his mouth across the breakfast table, the door to the kitchen from Tony’s shop opens, and a teenager stumbles out.

“Whoa. Okay, full house. Jarvis? Am I still asleep?” The boy asks, blinking.

“You are awake, young master. Although, I must point out that if you were indeed dreaming, the dream version of me would likely say the same thing.”

At this, the dark-haired youth squints at them suspiciously. Bruce snorts into his tea.

“I’d always thought the only things you got from Tony were the huge eyes and the hair, but that inability to function in the morning before coffee is definitely from him. I’m Bruce Banner, spiffy new teammate of your dad’s. These two blue eyed blonds are Steve Rogers and Thor.”

The boy blinks at them again, tilts his head to one side, and then shrugs and walks to the cupboards to rummage for food.

“Too weird to be dreaming. I’m Peter. Sorry about that, dad never mentioned any visitors.”

“If I remember correctly," Tony says from the doorway, "That’s only because I was too busy being scolded by my teenage son to get even a teeny tiny word in edgewise.”

“Well, someone had to be the responsible adult.”

Tony puts a hand to his chest in mock hurt and looks at his audience imploringly. “See what sass I have to put up with? My poor sensitive soul. What did I ever do to deserve this?”

At this point, Steve stops even trying to hide his giant grin. “One must wonder, Stark. He can’t possibly have gotten it from you, after all.”

“You see,” Tony says, willfully ignoring the sarcasm, “even Captain America agrees, kiddo. I am faultless! Absolutely!”
Peter snorts as he sets three boxes of cereal and a jug of milk on the counter. “If you say so. Get back to me when you’re done with the self-sacrificing asshole phase, and then we’ll talk.”

From the way Tony becomes quiet and a little distant, Steve knows there is a story there, and he begins to feel like they're intruding on the two. Thankfully, before the feeling grows and makes things awkward, Tony's redhead PA and her bodyguard arrive with enough food to feed a small army (or, in this case, a Norse god, a man who moonlights as a giant ragemonster, a supersoldier science experiment, a growing boy, and five people ravenous from stress), and everything’s forgotten in the chaos.

===

Apart from Natasha, who is a ninja assassin and has personally known Tony and Peter the longest due to her brief stint as Tony's fake secretary, Bruce is the first among the Avengers to know about Peter's alternate identity. It's not because he and Tony hit it off right away - well, at least, it's not just because they hit it off right away - but due to a function of necessity. As one of the few scientists in the world with both a specialty in nuclear physics (and more than that - with experience in body-altering radiation) and a background in human medicine, it was only logical that he be informed of Peter's recent mutation. He was possibly the only one in the world qualified to make solid and accurate medical judgments for Peter Stark, after all.

That said, Bruce is amazed that Tony has managed to hide Peter's secret for so long. As of this moment, Peter has assisted the Avengers in fights over a dozen times and has injured himself in about eight. He doesn't understand how no one notices that Spider-Man never shows up when Peter's across the country or abroad (although Peter refrains from going out every time to ‘reduce suspicion’), and how Peter is ‘too tired to leave his room’ every time Spider-Man gets a visible injury. Not to mention how prickly Tony gets whenever Spider-Man comes out (with varying degrees of prickliness depending on how many times Spider-Man almost gets hit, how many times Spider-Man actually does get hit, and also depending on how big or bad those hits are). Not to mention the cold wars the two tend to get into after a particularly bloody battle. Bruce suspects that the Avengers' food supply is contaminated. SHIELD's too, considering only Fury knows. Seriously, not even Hill.

The thing is, Bruce just wants this thing out in the open - at least within the team - because it may finally lay to rest the team's #1 post-mission debate, led by Steve and Tony: ‘To Invite Spider-Man Into The Initiative or Not’. There are only so many more times he can hear variations of the words: ‘I don't understand why you don't want to, I know you like him, or you wouldn't have risked yourself to protect him from a measly bruise’ and ‘No, no and NO. Kid's too young, it'll be like child labor’ without finally snapping and literally stepping on either of the two of them care of his big green alter-ego.

Natasha, of course, finds it all amusing and refuses to take a side. Same with Clint. Thor is firmly on the ‘let us invite the young warrior and foster his might!’ side, and Bruce, because of the sheer lack of qualified medical personnel in case Peter gets seriously injured, is firmly on Tony's. Bruce is thoroughly convinced that if Steve knew, the Captain would switch sides. He's not too sure about Thor, because Asgard has entirely different views on what is safe for children, but that'd at least end the stalemate.

He feels this way until Coulson comes back from the dead (not literally, thank god), witnesses one of the more heated versions, and puts his foot down.

"SHIELD is under a confidential but strict contract with Spider-Man's guardian to refrain from recruitment until Spider Man graduates from university. Inviting him now would be useless."

Thor and Steve deflate, and Tony smiles smugly. But by the meaningful stare Coulson gives Tony when the two blonds' backs are turned, Bruce expects he and Tony will only have this respite exactly until graduation.
Until then though, Bruce and Tony are free to have at least some missions Spider-worry-free.

===

The Starks were both uncannily lucky in that they tended to come out of the most impossible scenarios alive and relatively whole (case in point: Afghanistan and The Lizard). Unfortunately, even their luck had to run out sometime.
Peter has been hit. Badly. Natasha is one of the best assassins out there, and has seen her fair share of fallen comrades, but she feels the breath catch in her throat anyway, just for a second.

Iron Man blasts away from the robots he's against and rushes full speed towards Peter, who is falling, unconscious, mid-swing between buildings. Natasha goes back to dealing with her enemies with a vengeance. The sooner they finish up with this particular robot invasion, the better.

Stark catches Peter and flies away. Natasha can hear Steve demanding Iron Man to report, but Stark's silence is deafening. The Hulk roars in a rage she hasn't seen since before the Avengers, and their enemies stand no chance. The battle is won within half an hour, but none of them are even remotely relieved.

"Iron Man flew to the Tower." Hawkeye says as soon as they're done.

The Hulk takes a running jump toward home, literally grabbing Hawkeye and Natasha as he goes. As much as she doesn't appreciate being dragged around like a ragdoll, she can't bring herself to take offence, just this once. Thor offers Cap a ride, and they're back in no time at all.

She and Clint are unceremoniously tossed inside, and Bruce stumbles a bit, eyes a little wild, when he changes back. Happy, who has been waiting for them, tosses Bruce a bathrobe.

"The little boss is in the infirmary." He says, and Natasha sees a brief flicker of disconnect on Clint's face before he pieces everything together.

"Shoulda known Stark wouldn't've been able to raise a perfectly normal kid." He says.

Natasha raises a brow in response.

"Hey! You had an unfair advantage. You met him years before the rest of us."

"Met who?" Steve asks, lips pinched.

And Clint, bless his soul, blunders out, "Peter."

Steve's brow furrows, and Thor blinks at Clint confusedly. "What has Peter got to do with..." Steve trails off, and Natasha sees the realization dawn on his face. "Peter's Spider-Man." Steve says, and his face starts to lose color. Thor takes a purposeful step towards the door, fully intent on checking on the Starks, when Pepper and Happy come in.

"We'd better wait here," Pepper says, "we won't be any help fixing Pete."

Steve sits down heavily on the nearest couch, and Thor stands sentry by the door. Clint goes to the bar to pour everyone shots, and Natasha leans gracefully against the wall, watching everyone intently.

They stay there, practically unmoving, for the entire time it takes for Bruce, and whoever Tony trusted enough to call, to stabilize Peter. The atmosphere is thick with worry, and when Bruce comes up to them, exhausted but calm, the shift from tension to relief is palpable. No one talks for a minute, and finally Steve sighs and stands.

"He is never allowed to go vigilante-ing, ever again." He says, and Bruce nods enthusiastically - or at least as enthusiastically as he can in his current state of exhaustion.

Natasha smiles and shakes her head. Bruce should really know better than think Cap's going to give in so easily. ‘Never allowed to go vigilante-ing’ is vastly different from ‘never allowed on missions’ after all. Personally, she agrees with Cap. The only possible way to keep Peter completely away from trouble is to put him in bubble wrap and keep him in a maximum security box - and maybe not even then. So at the very least, they can give Peter official back-up and a commline.

Not that she intends to step in on the debate. Tony gets progressively more stubborn the more resistance he gets. Besides, he always gives in to Steve anyway. It's only a matter of time. She's one of the very best assassins out there after all - she knows that sometimes, standing patiently in the shadows works better than rushing in.

Notes:

If you've read the first part of this series before, I've changed a minor detail. Peter's fake birthday is now AFTER his real one (he's pretending to be younger rather than older) now.

10.May.2016: Edited to make Peter younger in preparation for post CA:CW instalment of this verse.

Note: The latter half of this fic is still going to happen in this verse more or less. Eventually, far down the line, the whole team will be back together. Maybe one day I'll decouple that part into an entirely separate instalment and write in Wanda, Sam, Scott and Vision.