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Taehyung doesn’t even remember how it started.
One second, they were talking, no, arguing, and the next, his voice was already raised, the words spilling out faster than he could filter them.
“I said I’m done, Jungkook.”
The room feels too small. Too bright. Too full of years neither of them ever addressed.
Suffocating.
Jungkook lets out a sharp, disbelieving laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Done with what? What are you even talking about?”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”
“No, I don’t,” Jungkook snaps, stepping closer. “Because this-” he gestures vaguely between them, frustration cracking through his voice “the fanservice, has never been a problem for you before.”
Taehyung clenches his jaw.
That’s the problem.
“It was,” he says, quieter now. Tighter. “You just didn’t notice.”
Jungkook frowns, like the words don’t even register. Like they don’t make sense in the version of reality he’s been living in.
“We had a deal,” Jungkook continues, his tone hardening. “We both agreed to this. The fans like it, the company likes it, it keeps things playful and simple.”
Simple.
Taehyung almost laughs. It comes out as something bitter instead.
“Yeah,” he mutters. “Simple.”
Because what’s simpler than pretending your heart isn’t slowly tearing itself apart?
Jungkook exhales sharply, clearly losing patience. “So what, now it’s suddenly a problem? After all these years?”
“Yes.”
The word lands heavier than he expects.
Jungkook stares at him, something flickering in his eyes, confusion, irritation…something else Taehyung refuses to name.
“Why?” Jungkook presses. “Give me one actual reason, Tae, because right now this just sounds-”
“I’m tired of being used.”
The silence that follows is immediate.
Claustrophobic.
Jungkook freezes.
“…What?”
Taehyung swallows. He didn’t mean to say it like that. Didn’t mean for it to come out so sharp, so ugly.
But it’s out now, and he’s too far gone to take it back.
“I’m done with you using me for photos and TikToks,” he continues, voice colder than he feels, “to feed into the whole thing. To give people something to talk about so they don’t focus on whatever girl you’re being linked to this week.”
Jungkook recoils like he’s been slapped.
“That’s what you think I’m doing?” His voice drops, low and wounded in a way that makes Taehyung’s chest tighten. “Using you?”
He doesn’t answer, because if he does, his voice might break.
“I never used you,” Jungkook says, more firmly now, stepping closer again. “I care about you. You know that.”
Do I?
The thought is sharp, unwanted.
“Do I?” Taehyung echoes, before he can stop himself.
Jungkook’s expression falters.
And for a second, just a brief second, Taehyung almost caves, almost takes it all back. Laughs it off. Says he didn’t mean it like that.
But he can’t.
Not anymore.
Jungkook shakes his head, frustration bleeding back in, like it’s easier to hold onto than whatever else is underneath. “Then explain it to me,” he demands. “Because I don’t understand what the hell changed.”
Taehyung looks at him.
Really looks at him.
At the boy, no, the man, he’s loved for years without ever saying a word about it.
“You know why,” he says softly, hesitantly.
Jungkook blinks.
“What?”
“You know why,” Taehyung repeats, his voice trembling now despite everything in him trying to keep it steady.
Because how could he not?
All those lingering touches.
All the times he thought, hoped actually, Jungkook could see through it.
That he had to.
Jungkook stares at him, something unreadable crossing his face before he looks away.
“No,” he says quickly. “I don’t.”
Taehyung’s chest tightens.
“Stop lying.”
“I’m not-”
“Stop.” His voice cracks, louder now. “Just, stop pretending you don’t know.”
Jungkook goes still.
Silent.
He doesn’t look at him, and that hurts more than anything he could’ve said.
“Say something,” Taehyung breathes.
Nothing.
“Jungkook.”
Still nothing.
The silence stretches, heavy and unbearable.
He feels it in his throat, in his chest, in the way his hands are starting to shake.
“Say something!” he snaps, shouting, the words breaking out of him, desperate now. “Anything. I deserve at least that much!”
Jungkook’s shoulders tense.
For a moment, he looks like he might, like he’s right on the edge of it.
But then...
Nothing.
Just silence.
Just avoidance.
Just distance.
And that’s it, that’s the answer. That's apparently what he deserves.
Something in Taehyung finally, quietly, breaks.
He lets out a hollow laugh that doesn’t sound like his own, shaking his head as he steps back.
“Right,” he mutters.
Of course.
Of course he doesn’t say anything.
Why would he?
Taehyung turns before Jungkook can see the way his eyes burn, before he can do something stupid like beg.
“Forget it.”
And then he’s gone.
The door slams harder than he intended.
---
By the time he reaches the rooftop, it’s already raining.
How cliché.
Taehyung doesn’t even hesitate.
He pushes the door open and steps out into it, letting the cold hit him all at once, soaking through his clothes, his hair, his skin and bones.
It matches how he feels.
He sinks down against the wall, knees pulled in tight, breathing uneven as everything finally and inevitably catches up to him.
His hands are still shaking.
His chest feels too tight.
Too full.
Years.
Years of this.
Of pretending.
Of smiling at cameras, leaning into touches that meant everything to him and nothing, maybe nothing, to Jungkook.
He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes.
“Stupid,” he mutters to himself, voice rough. “So stupid.”
What did he expect?
That Jungkook would just…acknowledge it?
That he’d look at him and go "I feel the same.”
He lets out a shaky, nervous, laugh.
God.
He really did think that, didn’t he?
Somewhere along the way, he convinced himself that Jungkook had to know, that there was no way he couldn’t see it.
The way Taehyung’s heart would race when Jungkook got too close.
The way he’d hold onto him a second longer than necessary.
The way jealousy would creep in, real and ugly, whenever Jungkook mentioned someone else.
It was never just fanservice for him.
Not for a long time, at least.
And now...
Now he’s ruined it anyway.
Ruined everything.
Taehyung tilts his head back against the wall, letting the rain hit his face, mixing with something warmer he refuses to acknowledge.
I should’ve just kept my mouth shut
Like he always did.
Like he was supposed to.
Because this, this aching, suffocating feeling, this was his problem.
Not Jungkook’s.
Never Jungkook’s.
A fresh wave of frustration crashes over him, sharper this time.
“Then why didn’t you say anything?” he mutters, anger bleeding back in through the cracks. “Why didn’t you just-”
He cuts himself off.
Because he knows the answer.
Jungkook didn’t say anything because there was nothing to say.
Taehyung squeezes his eyes shut.
Yeah.
That sounds about right.
The rain keeps falling.
And Taehyung just sits there, soaked and shaking, trying to figure out how the hell he’s supposed to face him again after this.
---
The storm doesn’t stop.
It falls steadily, relentlessly, soaking through everything until Taehyung can’t tell what’s rain and what isn’t anymore.
Time passes, or maybe it doesn’t.
It’s hard to tell, when everything feels suspended, like the world narrowed down to the sound of water hitting concrete and the dull, aching weight in his chest.
He doesn’t hear the door open.
Doesn’t hear footsteps.
Doesn’t notice anything at all.
And then...
It’s not a sound.
It’s a presence.
Something shifts in the air, subtle but wrong, like his quiet has been disturbed without permission.
Taehyung frowns slightly, lifting his head just enough to glance over his shoulder, and freezes.
Jungkook.
Standing there, a few steps away.
Completely drenched.
Hair plastered to his forehead, clothes clinging to him, water dripping from his sleeves onto the rooftop floor.
He must’ve been there for a while, minutes, at least.
Just standing, watching.
Something sharp and defensive snaps into place inside Taehyung immediately.
“I clearly wanted to be alone.”
His voice comes out rough, more bite than he intends, but he doesn’t take it back.
Jungkook doesn’t move, certainly doesn’t answer.
Taehyung scoffs, turning his gaze away again, jaw tightening. “What, you didn’t hear me the first time? Or are you just, fuck, ignoring that too now?”
Still nothing.
God.
It makes his skin crawl.
“This was stupid,” Taehyung mutters, pushing himself up just enough to sit straighter, even if his limbs feel heavy. “Coming after me like this. I don’t want to see you right now. I don’t want to hear your voice. I don’t-”
“Why now?”
Jungkook’s voice cuts through him, strangely unsteady.
Not loud, but it lands harder than anything else tonight.
Taehyung stills, as there’s something in it.
Something that almost, almost, sounds like…
No.
He shuts it down immediately.
Too late for that.
“Why now?” Jungkook repeats, a step closer, rain muffling the sound of his movement. “After all these years, why are you suddenly, what, quitting?”
There’s a small crack in his voice, but it’s enough to make something twist in Taehyung’s chest before the anger rushes back in to cover and patch it.
A short, humorless laugh escapes him.
“God, you’re still doing this?” he says, shaking his head. “Still pretending you don’t get it?”
Jungkook doesn’t respond.
Taehyung exhales sharply, dragging a hand down his face. “You should stop, seriously. Because I’m not going to humiliate myself like that.”
The words come out sharper than intended, defensive like a shield.
Jungkook takes another step forward.
Taehyung feels it more than he sees it and when he finally looks up, it hits him.
Jungkook’s eyes, red and puffy, soft in a way that doesn’t belong to the man standing in front of him now, but to someone else. Someone younger, much younger.
Someone Taehyung hasn’t seen in years.
That shy, quiet boy who used to look at him like he hung the stars.
For a second, just a second, he forgets how to breathe.
Jungkook’s jaw tightens, like he’s trying to hold something back and failing.
“I’m sorry.”
It’s barely above a whisper, fragile.
It shouldn’t affect him this much, it really shouldn’t, but it does.
His throat tightens painfully, his gaze dropping away almost immediately, like looking at Jungkook too long might undo everything he’s barely holding together.
Neither of them speaks after that.
Minutes pass.
Maybe two.
Maybe ten.
They just stand there in the rain, not looking at each other, both of them breathing like it’s taking effort.
He hates this.
Hates how heavy it feels, hates how much it still matters.
Then...
“I thought…” Jungkook starts out of the blue, his voice rough, like the words are scraping their way out. “I thought not acknowledging it would make things easier.”
Taehyung frowns, blinking water out of his eyes. “…What?”
Jungkook lets out a shaky breath.
“I thought if I didn’t say anything, if I acted like I didn’t see it, you could just go on like normal.”
Taehyung’s head snaps up, irritation flaring instantly. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Jungkook finally looks at him.
Really looks at him.
And something in his expression shifts visibly, like a decision being made in real time.
“Your feelings.”
The words land wrong.
Heavy, confusing.
Taehyung stares at him, brows furrowing. “My- what?”
“I knew,” Jungkook says, quieter now, but steadier in a way that makes Taehyung’s chest tighten. “Not just now. I’ve known for years.”
Everything in Taehyung goes still.
The rain fades into the background.
“You-”
His voice fails him.
Jungkook presses his lips together, looking away for a second, like even now it’s hard to say.
“I thought…if you knew I knew,” he continues, “you’d force yourself to stop. To move on. To…get over it.”
Taehyung just stares at him, uncomprehending.
“And I didn’t want that,” Jungkook adds, the words coming out faster now, more strained. “Which is-” he lets out a breath that almost sounds like a broken laugh “-yeah, that’s fucking messed up. I know. It’s selfish. It’s-”
“What are you even saying?” Taehyung cuts in, sharper than intended. “Why wouldn’t you want that?”
Jungkook goes quiet and for a second, he looks like he might back out again.
Like he might shut down, retreat into that silence Taehyung has hated for so long.
But then he doesn’t.
His jaw clenches, his hands curl slightly at his sides, and when he speaks again, his voice isn’t soft anymore.
It’s tight, fractured, almost angry.
“Because I wasn’t faking it either.”
The words hit like a punch.
Taehyung blinks.
Once.
Twice.
“I tried to tell myself it was just the cameras,” Jungkook continues, shaking his head slightly, rain dripping from his chin. “That it was just part of the job. That it didn’t mean anything.”
His voice wavers, but he keeps going.
“But then I saw it.”
Taehyung’s breath catches. “…Saw what?”
Jungkook laughs under his breath, but there’s no humor in it, not now.
“Us.”
His eyes flick back up, locking onto Taehyung’s.
“Some clip. I don’t even remember which one. One of those stupid compilation videos people make.”
Taehyung’s heart starts pounding, hard and fast, almost deafening in his ears.
“And I saw the way you looked at me,” Jungkook says, quieter now. “And I thought- yeah. I know that look.”
A beat.
“Because I was looking at you the same way.”
The world tilts.
Taehyung feels it, physically, like the ground beneath him isn’t stable anymore.
“I didn’t want you to stop,” Jungkook admits, voice breaking slightly now despite how hard he’s trying to keep it together. “I didn’t want you to move on. I didn’t want you to…to look at someone else like that.”
His breathing is uneven, his eyes glassy.
“It was easier to just pretend I didn’t know. To keep things the way they were. Because at least then-” his voice cracks, and he swallows hard “-at least then I still had it.”
Taehyung’s chest aches.
Too full.
Too much.
“Even if it was like this,” Jungkook adds, almost bitter now. “Even if it was half-fake, half-real, whatever the hell we were doing, at least it was something.”
Silence crashes between them again.
And then Jungkook laughs, short, sharp, almost angry at himself.
“Pathetic, right?”
He shakes his head, looking away.
“Watching you, knowing, and still not saying anything. Not doing anything. Just, standing there like an idiot while you-”
He cuts himself off, jaw clenching hard.
Years.
You can hear them in his voice, every second of it.
“I should’ve said something,” Jungkook mutters. “A long time ago. I should’ve-”
“Why didn’t you?”
The question slips out of Taehyung before he can stop it.
Quiet, small, but it holds everything.
Jungkook stills.
Then slowly, he looks back at him.
This time, there’s no hesitation.
“Because I was scared.”
It's simple and honest.
Devastating.
Taehyung’s breath stutters.
Jungkook takes a step closer, close enough now that Taehyung can see every detail, every crack in the composure he’s trying so hard to hold together.
“I didn’t know what it meant,” Jungkook continues, softer again, but no less intense. “Didn’t know what it would change. Didn’t know if I could handle it if you-”
He stops and swallows.
“If you didn’t feel the same after all.”
Taehyung lets out a broken laugh at that, shaking his head slightly.
“Are you serious right now?”
Jungkook doesn’t smile, doesn’t laugh.
“Yeah,” he says. “I am.”
And somehow, that hurts even more
Because all those years…
All that silence…
All that distance…
For this?
Taehyung drags a shaky hand through his wet hair, pacing a step back like he needs space to even process it.
“This is-” he exhales sharply “this is insane.”
“I know.”
“You knew,” Taehyung repeats, looking at him like he’s trying to recognize someone he’s known his entire life. “All this time, you knew, and you just, what, decided to say nothing?”
Jungkook flinches slightly at the edge in his voice, but he doesn’t back down.
“Yes.”
Taehyung lets out a disbelieving laugh, turning away again.
“Unbelievable.”
“Tae-”
“No, don’t,” he cuts him off quickly, holding up a hand. “Don’t say my name like that right now.”
Because if he does, if he softens even a little...
Taehyung doesn’t know what he’ll do.
The rain keeps falling relentless.
And somewhere between the anger, the hurt, the confusion, there’s something else now. Something fragile, something dangerous.
Something that feels a little too much like hope.
And Taehyung doesn’t know if that makes this better, or so, so, so much worse.
---
He doesn’t look at Jungkook.
Not fully.
Not for long.
Because every time he does, something swirls inside him in a way he’s not ready to face yet.
“This doesn’t change anything,” Taehyung says after a while, his voice quieter now, but still edged. “You don’t just get to drop something like that and expect it to…fix things.”
“I don’t,” Jungkook replies immediately, there’s no hesitation in it. “I know it doesn’t.”
Taehyung huffs a weak, humorless breath, wrapping his arms around himself, more out of instinct than cold. “Good.”
A pause.
“You didn’t say anything either.”
Taehyung stills.
The words don’t come out accusing, they’re not sharp, not defensive, they're just there and honest.
“I mean,” Jungkook continues, softer now, like he’s thinking out loud more than arguing, “you can’t put all of it on me.”
Taehyung’s jaw tightens.
“I’m not-”
“You are,” Jungkook cuts in gently. “A little.”
That stings, because it’s true.
And Taehyung hates that it’s true.
“You could’ve said something,” Jungkook adds. “At any point.”
Taehyung lets out a quiet, disbelieving scoff, finally turning to look at him again. “Oh, right. Yeah. Let me just, I don’t know, confess I’m in love with you in the middle of everything? With cameras everywhere, with the company watching us, with-”
“With me,” Jungkook interrupts.
That stops him.
Jungkook’s gaze is steady now, but not soft.
“You could’ve told me,” he says.
Taehyung opens his mouth, closes it again.
Because he doesn’t have an answer that doesn’t make him feel stupid.
“I was scared too,” Jungkook continues, quieter. “We both were.”
An instant.
“We were young.”
Taehyung’s expression tightens.
“We didn’t know what this was,” Jungkook adds, gesturing vaguely between them. “Didn’t know what it meant. And once things got…bigger,” he exhales, “it just got harder to say anything without risking everything.”
Taehyung swallows, because of course he remembers.
The early days. The confusion. The way everything felt too big, too fast, too public.
How easy it was to hide behind jokes. Behind touches that could always be explained away.
“It wasn’t just you holding it in,” Jungkook says.
That lands somewhere deep.
Taehyung looks away yet again, blinking rapidly, his throat tightening in a way he refuses to acknowledge.
For a moment, neither of them speaks.
The rain is the only thing filling the silence.
Loud. Steady.
Too loud for the thoughts in his head.
“This is…” Taehyung exhales shakily, dragging a hand through his wet hair. “This is too much.”
Jungkook doesn’t argue.
Doesn’t push.
Taehyung nods to himself, like he’s coming to a decision he doesn’t fully want to make.
“I need to go.”
The words feel wrong even as he says them.
But staying?
Staying feels worse.
He pushes himself up fully this time, ignoring the way his body protests, the way everything in him feels raw and exposed.
“Taehyung-”
“I can’t do this right now,” he cuts in quickly, already turning away. “I can’t just stand here and...process years o-o-of this in one night.”
He starts toward the door, each step feels heavier than the last, like something inside him is resisting, pulling back.
But he forces himself forward anyway.
If he stays, if he lets himself believe this...
He might not survive it if it falls apart again.
“I need space,” he adds, quieter now. “Just, don’t follow me this time.”
He means it, he really does.
He reaches for the door...and doesn’t make it.
Fingers wrap firmly around his arm.
Taehyung freezes.
Everything in him stops.
The world narrows down to that single point of contact, Jungkook’s hand gripping his sleeve, just above his wrist.
It’s not rough, not forceful.
But it’s enough, it’s too much.
Jungkook has touched him a thousand times before.
But this, this isn’t that, this is so intentional, so instinctive.
“Don’t go.”
The words are quiet.
But they hit like a crack through glass and something inside Taehyung finally, finally, shatters.
His breath catches sharply, shoulders tensing as he squeezes his eyes shut.
“Let go,” he says, but his voice is already breaking.
Jungkook doesn’t.
“Please, Tae.”
That’s it. That’s all it takes.
Taehyung lets out a strangled breath, his free hand coming up to his face like he can physically hold himself together.
But he can’t.
He can’t.
He just can't.
“Do you have any idea-” his voice cracks, and he cuts himself off, shaking his head hard. “No. No, you don’t get to-”
He turns abruptly, yanking his arm back, not to get free, but because he needs to look at him.
Needs him to see this.
“What do you want from me?” he demands, and there’s no anger left now, just raw, unfiltered hurt. “You say all of this now, now, after years of- of me just...”
He chokes on the words.
Swallows hard.
“I waited,” he says, quieter, but somehow worse. “I waited for you to say something. Anything. I thought-” his voice wavers “I thought if I just held on long enough, you would confront me.”
Jungkook’s grip loosens slightly, but he doesn’t let go.
“I suspected you knew,” Taehyung continues, shaking his head, tears mixing with the rain now, completely unchecked. “I thought you were just, choosing not to say it. Choosing not me.”
Jungkook flinches.
“Do you know what that does to someone?” Taehyung presses, his voice rising again despite himself. “To feel like that? To feel like you’re standing right there, offering everything, and the other person just, looks at you and stays silent?”
His chest heaves.
Years.
It’s all coming out now.
Too messy. Uncontrolled.
“I tried to stop,” he admits, his voice dropping again, fragile in a way he hates. “I tried so many times to just move on. To see you as just- just Jungkook. My group member. My bestfriend.”
A broken laugh escapes him.
“Didn’t work, clearly.”
His gaze flickers down briefly, then back up.
“Every time you touched me, every time you looked at me like that, I thought maybe...maybe this time it’s real for you too.”
He shakes his head, tears falling freely now, but they are impossible to see in the heavy rain.
“And then you’d just go back to normal. Like nothing happened. Like it was all just part of the act.”
His voice drops to a whisper.
“And I started to feel stupid. And wrong.”
Jungkook’s grip tightens again, just slightly.
Grounding, or maybe desperate, he doesn't know anymore.
“I hated myself for it,” Taehyung admits, barely audible now. “For not being able to stop. For wanting something I knew I probably couldn’t have.”
A pause, a breath that trembles on the way out.
“And yet, I stayed.”
He looks at Jungkook then, without averting his gaze, eyes red, expression open in a way it hasn’t been in years.
“I stayed anyway.”
The words hang there.
Final.
Like the last piece of something that’s been building for far too long.
It feels strangely good now, strangely empty, now that Taehyung isn’t holding anything back anymore.
---
Jungkook doesn’t interrupt him, not even once.
He just stands there, soaked to the bone, holding onto Taehyung’s arm like it’s the only thing keeping both anchored, listening to every word like it really matters.
Like he matters.
Taehyung’s chest rises and falls unevenly, breath hitching as the last of it spills out of him, leaving him exposed like never before.
Heavy and fragile silence follows.
Jungkook’s grip shifts.
“I know,” he says finally.
Taehyung lets out a broken scoff, shaking his head. “No, you don’t-”
“I do.”
The firmness in Jungkook’s voice cuts through him.
“I know because I felt it too.”
Taehyung’s expression falters, still not fully able to accept it, even now, even after everything.
Jungkook steps closer. Careful, like he’s approaching a wild animal, something that could disappear if he moves too fast.
“I saw you hurting,” he continues, quieter now. “More times than you think. I just-” he swallows hard “I didn’t know how to fix it without breaking everything else around it.”
Taehyung’s lips part slightly, but no words come out.
Because what do you even say to that?
Jungkook exhales shakily, running a hand through his wet hair before letting it fall back to his side.
“I thought if I kept it the same, if I stayed right there with you, even like that it would be enough for both of us.”
A bitter edge creeps into his voice.
“It wasn’t.”
No.
It wasn’t.
Taehyung knows that better than anyone.
“I messed up,” Jungkook admits, eyes flickering with something raw. “I let you carry all of it alone when I should’ve-”
“Yeah,” he cuts in, voice trembling despite the sharpness. “You should’ve.”
The words hang there in front of them, not as an attack, just his truth.
Jungkook nods once, his way of accepting it.
“I know.”
Another silence.
But this one is different, too full.
Taehyung exhales slowly, his shoulders dropping just a fraction, like the fight is finally draining out of him, leaving behind something softer. Something more dangerous.
“I don’t know what to do with this,” he admits quietly.
Jungkook watches him closely.
“You don’t have to decide anything right now.”
He lets out a faint, shaky laugh. “That’s easy for you to say, Kook.”
“It’s not,” Jungkook murmurs.
And there’s something in his voice again, that same quiet weight from before, that makes Taehyung look at him despite himself.
“I’ve been deciding for years,” Jungkook adds. “Just…silently. Now it's your turn, and you can take all the time you want.”
That lands.
Taehyung closes his eyes briefly, trying to steady himself, to keep everything from tipping over again.
“I should go,” he says after a moment, softer this time, tired.
Jungkook’s jaw tightens slightly in disappointment, but he nods, slowly.
“…Okay then.”
Taehyung hesitates just for a second, then turns again, taking a step toward the door.
One step.
Two.
“Wait.”
He stops. Of course he does. He has to. He cannot fight the input.
His back is still turned when Jungkook speaks again, voice low, careful, like he’s choosing every word.
“Then let me say it. One last thing, just once.”
His fingers curl slightly at his sides.
“And then…if you want,” Jungkook continues, quieter now, “you’re free to go.”
Something in Taehyung’s chest tightens.
He doesn’t turn around immediately, doesn’t trust himself to.
But after a moment he nods, he turns.
“Okay.”
And barely has time to register the shift in Jungkook’s expression before he closes the distance, fast, decisive.
His hand comes up to Taehyung’s jaw, cold from the rain but steady and then...
He kisses him.
It’s not gentle nor soft, it crashes into him.
Years of restraint, frustration, and something very close to anger all tangled into it.
Taehyung’s breath catches sharply against Jungkook’s lips, his body going rigid for half a second in pure shock.
Because this is real.
This is actually happening, here and now.
Jungkook’s grip tightens slightly, like he’s afraid Taehyung might pull away, like this is his one chance and he’s taking it, and Taehyung feels it.
Feels all of it.
The hesitation.
The desperation.
The years behind it.
Something inside him snaps at that.
His hand fists into Jungkook’s shirt, pulling him closer without even thinking, kissing him back just as hard, just as frustrated.
Just as angry.
At the lost time.
At the silence.
At everything they never said.
The kiss turns messy, uneven, desperate in seconds, like they don’t know where to start, like they’re trying to make up for a decade in a single, breathless, clashing moment.
Something shifts, the kiss slows.
Not because they want it to.
But maybe, maybe because they realize.
Nothing is breaking, nothing is stopping them, the world isn’t collapsing, no one is pulling them apart.
There are no cameras, no fans, no expectations, no pretending.
Just this. Just them.
Taehyung exhales shakily against Jungkook’s lips, the tension in his body melting into something softer, something deeper.
His grip loosens slightly, but he doesn’t let go.
Can’t.
Won’t.
Jungkook’s hand slides from his jaw to the back of his neck, holding him there, grounding him as the kiss deepens, not rushed anymore, but heavier.
Like they’re finally allowing themselves to feel all of it.
The hurt.
The longing.
The years of almosts.
Taehyung tilts into it, his other hand coming up to clutch at Jungkook’s shoulder, his chest tightening again, but not in pain this time.
In something overwhelming, that feels close to relief.
The kiss keeps lingering, drawn out and unsteady.
Neither of them quite knows how to stop.
Like stopping would mean risking it not being real.
And neither of them can afford that.
Not after everything.
Not now.
---
The storm, the rain, the cold don't matter anymore.
Taehyung barely feels it beyond the warmth where Jungkook is pressed against him, the way his hand is still at the back of his neck, fingers curled like he’s afraid of losing him even now.
They don’t pull away immediately.
When they pull away, it’s slow.
So damn reluctant.
Foreheads resting together, breaths uneven, lips still close enough that it feels like they might fall back into it at any second.
Taehyung keeps his eyes closed for a moment longer.
Just to make sure there is no risk of it disappearing.
“I…” he exhales softly, almost laughing under his breath. “I don’t even know what to say.”
“Me neither,” Jungkook murmurs.
Taehyung opens his eyes.
And there it is again, that look.
Only now, he doesn’t have to question it.
“…What are we going to do now?” he asks quietly.
Jungkook’s thumb brushes against his neck, anchoring, familiar.
“What we always did.”
He frowns faintly at it.
“It’ll mean everything to us,” Jungkook continues, steady despite everything, “and nothing to them.”
Taehyung’s breath catches.
“And if they see it…then so be it.”
A pause.
“Let’s keep it private, not secret."
That, that settles somewhere deep, where the turmoil is now finally resting.
“You make it sound so easy,” Taehyung murmurs.
“It’s not,” Jungkook admits. “But I don't care, I don’t want to lose this again. I don’t want to lose you.”
Taehyung searches his face one last time.
“…You’re really serious.”
“I’ve been serious.”
And that’s it.
That’s what finally pushes it out of him.
All those years of holding it in, swallowing it down, hiding it in everything but words...
“I love you.”
It comes out unsteady, too fast, and how could it be any different?
It’s been waiting at the edge of his throat for what feels like forever.
Jungkook stills.
Then exhales sharply, like something inside him just broke open.
“Say it again,” he breathes.
Taehyung lets out a shaky laugh, tears slipping free. “Are you serious-”
“Please.”
Softer now.
Taehyung swallows.
“I love you.”
This time it’s steadier.
Jungkook closes his eyes for a second, then looks at him like there’s nothing left to hide.
“I love you too.”
No hesitation, no fear, just naked truth.
Taehyung lets out a breath that almost turns into a laugh, shaking his head slightly. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that?”
Jungkook huffs quietly, forehead dropping against his again.
“…Yeah,” he murmurs. “Me too.”
That could’ve been the end of it.
It should’ve been enough, but they’re still them after all.
Taehyung nudges him slightly, voice softer now, but familiar in a way that makes something warm bloom in his chest.
“I hate you.”
Jungkook snorts under his breath. “Yeah. I figured.”
A beat.
“…Took you long enough.”
He huffs, rolling his eyes faintly, even as he leans closer again.
“Shut up.”
A pause.
“Make me.”
There’s no challenge in it, just something warm, familiar, certain. It's still Jungkook, his Jungkook, teasing him like he always did since the very first day.
Taehyung doesn’t hesitate.
He closes the distance again, kissing him soft this time, but sure, like someone who finally knows where it belongs.
Jungkook responds immediately, hand sliding back into his hair, holding him there like he’s not letting go again.
The rain blurs the city into something unreal, but this, finally, isn’t an act.
🌙