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PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY ONE
IT HAS BEEN PRECISELY SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY FOUR DAYS SINCE OUR LAST HUMAN SIGHTING. I SHOULD SAY THAT IS A GOOD THING, HOWEVER I FIND MYSELF RATHER BORED.
I CONTINUE MY NORMAL ROUTINE AND SCOUT OUT THE FORESTS AROUND SNOWDIN, BUT WITHOUT A HUMAN TO TORMENT WITH MY OUTSTANDING PUZZLE SKILLS (AND IT IS KNOWN THAT MY SKILLS ARE BY FAR THE BEST!) IT IS RATHER DULL.
I AM HOPING THAT KEEPING THIS LOG (SANS TELLS ME IT IS MORE OF A DIARY. WHAT A FOOL!) WILL GIVE ME IDEAS AND AMUSEMENT WHILE I WAIT FOR MY FIRST HUMAN ENCOUNTER! I MUST HAVE MY WITS SHARP AND MY EYES EVEN SHARPER!
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY TWO
MY BROTHER IS ACTING STRANGELY. NOT TO SAY HE ISN’T STRANGE! HIS UNBELIEVABLE CRAVING FOR MUSTARD IS BY FAR THE STRANGEST THING I HAVE EVER WITNESSED. BUT HE HAS BEEN ACTING… ODD.
IT STARTED THIS MORNING, AS I WAS MAKING MY USUAL ROUNDS. HE KEPT ATTEMPTING TO GET ME TO CONVERSE WITH A LAMP. A LAMP, FOR STARS SAKE! WHY WOULD I, THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS, EVER HAVE TO CONVERSATE WITH THE LIKES OF A LAMP?!
THEY ARE HARDLY ONE FOR CONVERSATION.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY THREE
A HUMAN! A HUMAN HAS FALLEN INTO UNDERFELL! FINALLY, I CAN PUT MY AMAZING PUZZLES TO WORK! I AM BECOMING EXCITED JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!
WHAT SHOULD I PLAGUE THE HUMAN WITH FIRST?! SPIKES? KNIVES?? FIRE?! THE POSSIBILITIES ARE TRULY ENDLESS, WHAT WITH MY IMPECCABLE INTELLIGENCE AND DASHING GOOD LOOKS, THAT HUMAN WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY FOUR
THAT BLASTED HUMAN! SHE HAS FOILED EVERY DASTARDLY PLOTTED PUZZLE WITH LITTLE TO NO EFFORT! IS SHE SOME KIND OF PUZZLE WITCH?!
MY USELESS EXCUSE FOR A BROTHER IS NO HELP AT ALL, EITHER! HE SIMPLY STANDS TO THE SIDE AND RATTLES OFF HIS INCESSANT PUNS! AND SHE LAUGHS AT THEM! SHE ENJOYS HIS TORTUROUS HUMOR!
THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER, OR HUMANS ARE MORE DIMWITTED THAN I THOUGHT.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY FIVE
I HAVE SEEN LITTLE TO NOTHING OF MY BROTHER AS WELL AS THE HUMAN FEMALE. HE CLAIMS TO BE WORKING, HOWEVER EACH OF HIS POSTS ARE ABANDONED. INITIALLY I ACCUSED HIM OF ASSISTING THE HUMAN IN SNEAKING PAST ME (WHICH IS HARDLY IMPOSSIBLE!) AND HE ACCUSED ME RIGHT BACK OF BEING JEALOUS!
ME! THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE PAPYRUS! JEALOUS?!
WHAT A LUDICROUS ASSUMPTION!
WHY WOULD I EVER BE JEALOUS OVER A HUMAN CHOOSING TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY IDIOTIC LUMP OF A BROTHER RATHER THAN ME?! IT IS NOT AS IF I SPEND MY TIME TRYING TO THINK OF NEW TRAPS AND PUZZLES TO FOIL HER WITH! OR THAT I DESPERATELY HOPE I STUMBLE UPON HER DURING MY ROUNDS! OR THAT I GET FRUSTRATED WHEN SHE LAUGHS AT SANS’ TERRIBLE JOKES!
I’M… I’M NOT… NOT…
!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY SIX
I HAVE STUMBLED UPON THE HUMAN, BUT SHE IS IN BAD SHAPE. NOT BECAUSE OF MY DOING (UNFORTUNATELY) BUT SHE HAD A RUN IN WITH THE GUARDS DOGAMY AND DOGARESSA… AND DID NOT COME OUT AS SHE WENT IN.
I COULD HAVE TAKEN HER SOUL THEN AND THERE, BUT SHE WAS FAR TOO WEAK FOR SUCH A STRESSFUL PROCEDURE. THE SOUL WOULD HAVE MOST DEFINITELY SHATTERED.
I HAVE ORDERED SANS TO MAKE OUR SHED INTO A CELL TO HOUSE HER FROM THE ELEMENTS UNTIL SHE IS WELL ENOUGH TO HARVEST HER SOUL.
SANS HAS NOT SPOKEN TO ME SINCE I INFORMED HIM OF MY PLAN.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY SEVEN
THE HUMAN FEMALE HAS NOT WOKEN IN SOME TIME, BUT SHE IS HEALING ALL THE SAME. SANS HAS ACCUSED ME OF BEING GRUMPY AND IRRITABLE, BUT WHAT DOES HE KNOW?! I JUST NEED HER SOUL AND QUICK!
I HOPE SHE RECOVERS SOON.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY EIGHT
I HAVE CHARGED MY BROTHER WITH THE HUMAN WOMAN. ALTHOUGH I AM FAR GREATER AND MORE SUITED THAN HE IS, HE IS LAZY AND THIS IS THE PERFECT JOB FOR HIM! HE DIDN’T PUT UP AS MUCH OF A FIGHT AS I EXPECTED, SO MAYBE HE IS FINALLY STARTING TO OBEY ME WITHOUT QUESTION!
PS: THE HUMAN WOKE UP THIS MORNING.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY NINE
THE HUMAN IS STILL UNABLE TO WALK, BUT SHE IS ABLE TO SIT AND EAT ON HER OWN. MY BROTHER SPENDS ALL OF HIS EXTRA TIME WITH HER, YET I AM UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY. EVEN WHEN HIS DUTIES ARE COMPLETE AND SHE HAS BEEN FED, HE INSISTS ON STAYING IN THE SHED WITH HER.
I THINK I WILL CARE FOR HER TOMORROW.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY TEN
I AM NOT HAPPY.
I HAD TAKEN IT UPON MYSELF TO TEND TO THE HUMAN TODAY. I EVEN WENT AS FAR AS MAKING FRESH SPAGHETTI! WHAT OTHER WAY TO PROMOTE HEALTHY HEALING THAN MY CULINARY GENIUS?!
BUT WHEN I WALKED IN, SHE WAS DISAPPOINTED! “I thought you were Sans.” SHE SAID! SHE SOUNDED SO… SO… UNHAPPY! MONSTERS HAVE GROVELED IN MY PRESENCE, PRAISED MY EVERY ACCOMPLISMENT! YET, WHAT DO I RECEIVE FROM HER?!
MILD!
DISINTEREST!
THE NERVE OF THAT WOMAN! ON TOP OF THAT, SHE CLAIMED THAT MY SPAGHETTI WAS OKAY!
OKAY?! IS SHE MAD?! SHE MUST BE! SHE CHOOSES MY BROTHER’S COMPANY OVER MINE, WHILE I AM CLEARLY THE MOST CHARMING OF THE TWO! AND SHE IS UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE CLEAR CULINARY AMAZEMENT WHEN SHE TASTES IT!
I SHALL TEND TO HER AGAIN TOMORROW!
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY ELEVEN
I HAVE BEEN BETRAYED.
I HAD ARRIVED TO THE SHED FOR MY SECOND DAY OF TENDING TO THE HUMAN, BUT IT APPEARS MY BROTHER HAD BEAT ME TO IT.
AND BY BEAT ME TO IT, I MEAN HE HAS OVERSTEPPED BOUNDARIES. NOT ONLY HAS SANS BECOME FRIENDLY WITH THE HUMAN, HE HAS BECOME ATTACHED TO HER. UPON MY ENTRY TO THE SHED, I WITNESSED THEM… CANOODLING.
CANOODLING ACTUALLY IS NOT THE APPROPRIATE TERM… SIMPLE CUDDLING IS THE CORRECT WORD. SANS AND THE HUMAN WERE ASLEEP, TUCKED UP AGAINST THE WALL OF THE SHED ON THE HUMAN’S BED (IT IS ACTUALLY A PET BED. BUT SHE HAS A PILLOW!)
I FEEL BETRAYED. I DO NOT KNOW WHY…
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY ELEVEN
SANS IS NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE THE HUMAN. I HAVE ASSUMED FULL RESPONSIBILITY OVER HER HEALTH.
SANS WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME.
HE WILL BE ALRIGHT.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY TWELVE
THE HUMAN HAS NOT SAID MUCH TO ME, AND I SHOULD BE PLEASED WITH HER SILENCE.
BUT I AM NOT.
I WISH FOR HER TO SPEAK TO ME AS SHE DOES TO SANS. I WISH FOR HER TO THINK OF ME AS SHE DOES SANS.
I WISH TO BE SANS.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY THIRTEEN
I AM BEGINNING TO LOSE MY PATIENCE. I HAVE TRIED JOKES, PUNS, STORIES… EVERYTHING MY BROTHER IS KNOWN FOR AND YET SHE WON’T BE FRIENDLY WITH ME!
WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!
PAPYRUS' LOG: ENTRY FOURTEEN
“Why would I want to be friends with someone who wants to kill me?”
PAPYRUS’ LOG: ENTRY FIFTEEN
ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS.
FEELINGS OF FINDING SOMEONE WHO PLAGUES YOUR THOUGHTS. SOMEONE WHO MAKES YOU WANT TO BE A BETTER MONSTER. SOMEONE WHO… YOU WANT TO SOLVE PUZZLES AND MAKE SPAGHETTI WITH.
THOSE ARE FEELINGS I AM EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW.
AND I DO NOT LIKE IT ONE BIT.
PAPYRUS’ LOG: FINAL ENTRY
I RELEASED THE HUMAN WOMAN TODAY.
HER SOUL WAS OF NO USE TO ME.
NOT IF SHE WAS TO BE WITHOUT IT.