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Looking at the balcony Maka saw Soul, hunched over the railing, looking absentmindedly at the city outside.
She was worried, there was no hiding it. The attack that had nearly resulted in Soul’s death had been all her fault. She had been weak.
Too weak.
Adding onto that, what Dr. Medusa had said, kept echoing in her head. Soul was tormented by nightmares and he had chosen the doctor to confide in and not her, his partner.
She looked at the lonely boy with a sour taste in her mouth.
If she was being completely honest with herself she was kind of angry at Soul for choosing the doctor over her. She had always been trustworthy.
She had showed him again and again that he could trust her so why?
Why wouldn’t he trust her?
Actually she had to recognize that most of the anger she felt was directed towards herself.
That night she truly hadn’t known what to do, she had hesitated and that hesitation had almost cost her her dearest friend. Soul hadn’t had any hesitation instead.
The boy had jumped in front of the dark blade without thinking twice, without thinking even once probably, his only priority was to protect her, his meister.
She breathed deeply. She wouldn’t let her own failings get to her. Not now.
Medusa had actually given her a great opportunity to confront her weapon and solve their problems. After all they needed to be completely in synch to effectively work as partners.
She moved to the buffet, intending to clear her head a bit before confronting him. As she was filling her plate she looked at the fish sashimi.
She didn’t like it, never had, and her and Soul had always fought on this. He always said that there was nothing better than raw fish and she wouldn’t have any of it.
She smiled to herself as she remembered Soul dangling salmon sashimi in front of her face, taunting her, until she agreed to try it. She hadn’t like it but Soul had looked vaguely happy at the fact that she had tried at all.
From that day on he hadn’t forced her to eat it anymore, not even cooking it and she had been grateful at that. On the other hand she had made sure to cook it for him when it was her turn to cook, often making small variations of the same dish so that they could both eat what they liked most.
He was always comically happy she did, eating with a lot of gusto and smiling childishly.
Without even realizing, she had gotten to the end of the buffet and she blushed as she looked down at her own plate.
It was filled with food she wasn’t particularly fond of. They were all of Soul’s favourite foods and she stared holes in them, annoyed at her own self.
She had thought too much about the boy and had inadvertently collected all of his favourites. She liked most of them well enough to eat, except for the salmon sashimi. She grimaced at imagining the taste of it and looked back at Soul, still stuck in the same place.
She decided that having already gotten all of this food it would be a waste to throw it all away so she might as well share.
No way she could let Soul notice she had gotten it for him.
Slowly she made her way to the balcony and Soul didn’t move, apparently not even noticing her, too lost in his own thoughts.
“Are you okay Soul?” her voice came out soft and she was vaguely aware of the fact that she had still managed to startle him.
Soul turned around, looking at the girl and smirked at her.
“Yeah, yeah” he said dismissively but Maka was having none of that. She knew that her partner was in fact not okay and it irked that he didn’t trust her enough to confide in her.
“Do you truly think I’m an unreliable partner?” her voice came out weaker than she intended and she was angry at herself for that.
“Well you said it” Soul stuck his tongue out at her mockingly and she would have felt very aggravated if she hadn’t been so..sad. Guilty.
He didn’t trust her because she hadn’t given him any reason to. She had let him get hurt and now he was plagued by nightmares because he was scared. Maybe this fight would put an end to their partnership. To their friendship even.
She sunk to the floor, her plate forgotten on the railing. Maka hug her knees to her chest pitifully and she was angry at herself for letting Soul see it.
She wanted to be strong, the strong meister her weapon could count on but she feared it might have already been too late for that.
“Maka, hey Maka!” Soul was kneeling next to her, worry etched deeply in his features.
“Come on I was just joking” his voice sounded exasperated but he was not nothing if not worried for her.
“I’m sorry Soul” the small voice was barely audible so much so that he surely wouldn’t have heard it if he weren’t so close.
They were luckily hidden from the view of the other students at the party or he would have felt very embarrassed at what he was about to do.
“Maka, listen to me” Soul took her hands gently, willing her to look at him and take her face out of her knees.
“You have nothing to be sorry for” he looked at her still perplexed and added “It was just a joke I swear”.
Maka exhaled, exasperated, he couldn’t possibly think that his stupid joke was the reason for why she felt like this. He was dense but even he couldn’t be that dense.
A quick look at his face assured her that he was in fact this dense. Defeated and embarrassed, she burrowed her face back into her knees refusing to let him see just how worked up she was getting over this.
Soul looked at her small figure, hunched over on the floor and felt a weird tug at his heartstrings. She had stared up at him briefly and he had seen her eyes glossy and defeated, a wrong look for his Maka.
He had a hunch on what this could be about, he wasn’t completely clueless. He knew Maka felt guilty about what had happened. He had seen it.
When she had come to visit him in the infirmary, refusing to look at his scar or when he had started to train again, with her obviously going easy on him…he had known.
But why now?
He wondered what could have possibly happened to make his Maka shrivel up like this. He didn’t care, it just had to stop, he didn’t like it.
“Maka..” he called her name but she didn’t move.
He grimaced. He wanted to tell her that she didn’t have to worry about getting stronger to protect him, he would protect her.
He wanted to tell her that he did trust her, obviously he did. If he didn’t there was no way that they would work together and they worked so well together that there truly was no doubt.
She wouldn’t doubt it…would she?
He wanted to tell her. Truly.
But whenever he tried his embarrassment swallowed his words. So not cool of him.
There was also fear in his hesitation, fear of being so open and vulnerable with someone.
This was Maka though. His meister. His dearest friend. The girl that always had his back, no matter what, battle wise and whenever he needed her.
Being open with Maka would never bring anything bad. It couldn’t.
He wanted to tell her everything and so much more…and so he did.
“Maka, stupid, you are not an unreliable partner” he knew it was still not enough but as he mustered the courage to keep going he almost hoped to see her beautiful green eyes look at him.
“You are the farthest thing from unreliable” he breathed, willing himself to continue
“You are the most capable meister in the whole school and I’m sure that no weapon could ever get as lucky as me” he was skirting around the thing he truly wanted to say and it pissed him off.
Soul was weak. Even he knew that much.
But his meister needed him. Maka needed him.
She needed him more than she had that night in the church, when he had saved her from a fatal blow. Because he had gotten hurt she had lost faith in herself and he would do anything to make her see herself as he saw her.
Capable. Reliable. Unstoppable. Perfect. Beautiful.
Maka’s beautiful green eyes were staring at him and Soul felt vaguely lightheaded. He realised he was much closer to her face than what was probably acceptable but when he tried pulling back he found he was stuck.
They stared at each other with a strong intensity, new and exhilarating. Then Maka searched his face, almost expecting him to say something more and he suddenly kew with clarity what he was supposed to say.
“There is no one else I would ever want by my side Maka, you are the only one for me” he was blushing furiously but he willed himself to finish the sentence, looking at her with a raw vulnerability.
There was much more than weapon-meister trust in his confession and he knew as much. He wondered if she did.
He forced himself to keep a straight face as she searched his face for sincerity and almost lost it as her gaze dropped from his eyes to his lips, now only centimeters from her face.
The moment seemed to go on forever even though Soul was sure it was only a matter of seconds.
She looked back into his eyes and the boy could swear he felt feverish.
They were both pink, very much so, and so close that they were basically breathing in each other's mouths.
Soul was thinking of what he knew he had to do. It was a matter of inching a bit closer to her face and their lips would touch but his face burned and his heart was pounding so hard he feared the girl would hear him.
He was scared of mistaking the situation, so scared he would ruin what they had, that perfection that had been his solace since coming to the Shibusen.
In the end it was Maka. Beautiful, strong, courageous Maka, who inched closer, her breath ghosting over his lips. His lips opened in anticipation just as his eyes shut tightly with nerves.
So not cool.
Her lips were soft, a ghost of a touch against his lips that left him dreaming of so much more and craving her closeness more than anything else.
When he opened his eyes he saw her vivid green orbs igniting in the moonlight. A truly magical sight which seemed to give him a bit of the courage Maka always flaunted around effortlessly.
He pressed his lips back onto hers, a bit firmer than she had and he could feel the smallest gasp escape her mouth. His heart pounded as he pulled back and he tried his best to appear smug even as her soft gaze threatened to reduce him to putty.
She gave him the smallest, softest smile and he could feel his strong persona immediately melting.
“You are invaluable to me and I trust you with my life” his words were strong and his voice, rougher than it should have been, was surprisingly firm.
He meant for this sentence to keep her out of her own head, to give her back the strength she missed and to reassure of the unbreakable bond that existed between the two of them. Still, as it often happens when talking with this girl, he had said the wrong thing.
Her face missed the soft glow it had had before and she pouted at him. It was a funny sight, truly, and he would have laughed at her had her eyes not looked so wrong.
They were empty, hollow, giving off a sense of betrayal and guilt. Maka refused to meet his eyes.
“You say you trust me with your life” her voice was vaguely hoarse as it came out and it startled him.
“But not with your secrets eh?” he had no idea what she was talking about but before he could tell her she kept going.
“We have gone through so much together, Soul” she breathed in deeply “but you still can’t trust me with your feelings?”
Soul was starting to understand what this was about but Maka was like an overflowing river and left him no room to talk.
“You say you trust me…but when you are hurting you would rather talk with Dr. Medusa than with me! Your partner!” she was probably being too loud but in that particular moment she couldn’t bring herself to care.
She hated how she sounded like a jealous little girl. Jealousy was not what this was about. It was about trust and the bond between her and Soul and..so what if it was also about it?
She was allowed to feel jealous, she could have expected Soul to talk about his problems to her and instead he had chosen a complete stranger to confide in.
That hurt. More than she had realized.
Soul was rendered speechless by her sudden outburst, looking at her like he couldn’t even recognize his partner. He seemed to want to say something but words failed him. He opted for physical touch, which had always been more his thing than hers, but as he tried to take her hand she hardly pulled it away, sheltering her face under her long hair.
“Maka..” Soul was truly speechless.
He had told the doctor about his nightmares in a moment of vulnerability and now his partner was angry that he hadn’t gone to her in the first place. It had taken a long time for both of them to trust the other completely.
Maka especially had always told Soul to come to her when something was wrong. She had made it a point to always pry the information out of his sealed lips, as he was more the skittish type.
In the end he had come to trust her and now Maka bugging him was more a familiar habit rather than a necessity.
Nonetheless he hadn’t trusted her enough for this and even if he would have rather done something else, like explore the new chapter opened by their unexpected kissing, he knew it was high time they talked about it.
they moved a bit until they could reach one of the school railings and he hoisted them both up a small secluded part of the roof. Still in earshot of the party but more..private.
Maka followed him silently, seemingly reflecting on something and that thought scared him more than he would have liked to admit.
He took a deep breath to steady himself and then called her name to catch her attention. something in his tone must have been new because green orbs immediately pinned him in place.
His heart was beating wildly; if from the unexpected kissing with the girl of his dreams or from the memories of his nightmares resurfacing he couldn’t tell.
“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to blame yourself for it” his voice was steady, newfound resolution strengthening his words.
Maka immediately averted her eyes, staring holes into the roof floor.
“It is my fault though..” after quite some time spent in silence this was her answer and Soul could feel his annoyance coming back
“I told you already Maka, it’s not-”
“It is tough!” She interrupted him with a cry and he stared at her, at this wrong imitation of his fearless meister.
“Would you let me talk?” his question came out harshly, betraying all the annoyance he felt at Maka blaming herself for what had happened.
She closed her mouth, eyes going back to his in search of something.
“It’s not your fault Maka. There was absolutely nothing you could have done to stop him from attacking me or to stop me from protecting you, which if you have forgotten is a big part of a weapon’s duty” his words came out fast but even he knew they weren’t the right ones.
Maka wasn’t just his meister and it wasn’t duty that had made him jump in front of that blade that night.
She looked as unconvinced as she could and he was getting increasingly frustrated with himself.
With another shuddering breath, he tried again
“To me you are priceless. I would never let anyone hurt you and I could never regret that night even if the outcome had been tragic”
Maka opened her mouth to retort, surely to tell him that she also would never let anyone hurt him and that is why she felt so guilty for that night when exactly that had happened. She couldn’t say anything though as he cut her off before she could start.
“I know you would do the same for me and that’s why I trust you more than anyone else in this world” the words were soft and he was embarrassed at himself for saying them but he knew she needed to hear them. He would put her comfort over his standard of coolness any day.
She was still not convinced but she accepted his hand in hers, squeezing it to calm herself down.
“Then why?” her question was simple. Where was this trust when he had needed her?
He didn’t know. The thought of scaring her with his nightmares was horrendous and he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. That was the truth.
Evidently it was the wrong truth though as she bonked him on the head, hard, as he told her.
“Do you think I’m so weak that I would get scared from a stupid nightmare?” her voice was annoyed now and he basked in the feeling of her fire coming back.
he smirked and snickered at her, receiving another strong Maka-chop on the head.
“I guess even I can be wrong sometimes” his mocking tone was not appreciated by the girl who moved closer to him, ready to slap some sense into the boy.
Still, as she did that, she couldn’t help but be captured by his eyes. His breath caught and his eyes darted traitorously to her lips, wishing they could go back to more appreciated ministrations.
As his eyes came back to hers a new look crossed her face. Confidence.
“You owe me Soul. For not trusting me” her voice was teasing now and Soul was sure he was turning a thousand new shades of red. So not cool of him.
“What- What do you want?” his voice was rough and his throat suddenly felt parched. He licked his lips and bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself in check. It was already embarrassing enough as it was without him stuttering like an idiot.
“What would you offer me?” she was still teasing he knew that much but as he hand carded through a long strand of his hair he felt all coherent thought leave his mind.
Damn you, Maka.
“Anything” his answer came out fast, so much so that it shocked both of them.
His cheeks were burning in embarrassment and he feared his answer might have scared the girl in front of him.
For her part, Maka was silent. She didn’t expect her answer but as Soul looked up at her with sincerity in his eyes she felt herself believe him.
Soul was her partner, her weapon, her friend and..something else she knew but didn’t have the courage to name.
She knew that if the roles were reversed and it had been Soul to ask her that question her answer would have been much the same.
That embarrassed her to no end and she felt her cheeks heat up and her stomach knot itself in a thousand different directions.
Still, she persisted.
She could see the effect her silence was having on the boy and with a shaky breath she decided she had tortured him quite enough for the evening.
She inched closer, slowly and they both sucked in their breath, not daring to make a sound before they were sure of what was happening.
The girl looked into his eyes and Soul was sure she was glowing in a way humans aren’t really supposed to.
She could feel her own frustration mounting at the fact that she couldn’t bring herself to do what her heart so deeply desired.
She took in another greedy gulp of air and decided to be brave.
She crashed her lips to his and his mouth immediately moved to accommodate hers. The kiss was long and heartfelt, after they had skirted around the topic for frankly too long a time.
As they separated Soul, still pink and heaving, smirked at her and she could feel her own face all heated up. Nonetheless she closed the distance again, this time more slowly, gently taking hold of the boy’s face.
They kissed a thousand times under the moonlight that evening and as they laughed and joked with each other, the moon laid watch over their pure love.