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Bubby was… well. There isn't a way to put this into nice, pretty words that you have to peal the layers off to understand the meaning. But Bubby has been having… issues. Now, he knows this is vague — forgive him for beating around the bush.
But Bubby might not be a guy.
It's probably weird or stupid — how could Bubby not be a guy? It's what everyone calls him. And it's not like he doesn't like being a guy, just… it was what he was assigned back when he was still a lab experiment. And he had many more pressing matters at hand, such as being experimented on, that he never put any real thought into his… gender identity.
Hell, he never even knew he could be anything different. But like most things in his life, Dr. Harold Coomer showed him differently.
Now, unlike most things, this was something Bubby discovered by himself. Part of it was through Harold, yes, but it was not something he was outright told about.
See, Harold is transsexual. At least that is what he told Bubby — that Harold was born a girl, but is a guy. Something that he picked to be, that brought him joy. Tommy is similar — his gender is not set in stone, something that moves around on a day by day basis. A gal one day, a guy the next.
The idea interested Bubby. But he was just a guy. Hell, at times there were jokes that Bubby was the only one who hasn't changed his gender in the Science Team. Everyone else was… some sort of variation.
Being a guy never brought Bubby any joy. It was only something given to him at his time at Black Mesa. He never knew it could be something he wanted.
So one day, he decided to experiment. He looked into the bathroom mirror, and stared at himself. Imagined himself as a girl. And, you know what? Bubby felt something he hadn't ever felt when he thought of himself as a guy. He felt a connection. Joy. He saw the person he wants to be.
Obviously, this brought distress.
She didn't know if Harold would still like her — the man was gay, after all. He wouldn't want to be with her anymore, would he? Or would Harold feel like he would be forced with staying with her? He doesn't seem like the type, but Bubby could never predict people's reactions or emotions well.
And well, it's best to say that Bubby was overthinking it. Badly. She knew she wanted to tell him — that man was her world. They told each other everything — from the small mundanities of day to day life ("of course I'd tell you if I saw some nice cows") to their deepest fears ("I don't want to lose you if the game — our world — crashes." Don't get Bubby started on that one). And this was a massive step in Bubby discovering who she is in her life — late as it may be.
But she really doesn't want to lose Harold.
So, like any rational scientist — she pushes it off for a month.
During this time, not much changes. Hell, she wasn't even sure if she wanted to change anything besides how people refer to her. She already had grey hair and a receding hairline — not much to work with in that department. And she already always wore those massive boots with the heel on the end, the ones Harold gifted her because of the rockets on the sides of them.
And she… doesn't particularly care for dresses. They look very nice, but it is not Bubby's style. Her style is mad scientist, which she thinks she pulls off well. Plus, with how many explosions happen in the lab, wearing less clothing would not be the greatest idea.
The point being is that she's happy with how she is now. She knows she doesn't need to change anything else about herself to be happy, and she's fine with that. The only worry is truly Dr. Coomer.
She stood in the hallway frame that leads to the living room, arms crossed over her chest as she debated to herself. She knows she needs to tell him, she told herself she would do it tonight. And yet her feet were frozen to the ground, and she could feel the anxiety start to burn in her veins.
Dr. Harold Coomer sat in the living room, watching TV with a cup of tea in his hands. He doesn't seem to be paying Bubby any mind. He cools the tea down, and Bubby watches as the steam dances through the air.
Just tell him, her thoughts scream at her. She clears her throat, bringing his attention to her. He quieted the TV down, turning to face her with a smile on his face. Always a smile, always for her. "Harold," she says, her voice calmer than how she felt. "I have something I have to tell you."
She takes a deep breath. Spit it out, Bubby, you've literally survived being on an alien planet and everything else that happened in Black Mesa. You can say you're a girl.
"You. Are aware. Of… what I went through in Black Mesa." She clenches her teeth. She isn't supposed to be the one who beats around the bush. She was direct and forward — she says what's on her mind without caring about the reply.
Harold nods his head. Patient. Kind. He was the best man in the world, and Bubby has the privilege of knowing him. Of living with him.
Bubby grips her fists. "Ugh," she groans, before facepalming. Her hands drop down to her sides as she steels herself. "Harold, I'm a woman. The same way you're a man."
Bubby tenses. This is the part where Harold announces that they have to go their separate ways. That he could no longer love Bubby the way he did before — that Bubby would be yet another "ex-wife" to Harold.
Harold stood in front of her, and she blinked. She hadn't even noticed him walk up to her as he gently takes her hands, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles the way he always has. "I'm glad you told me," he says, voice soft and quiet like it always gets when it's just the two of them. "I'm proud of you, Bubby."
"I'm sorry," Bubby blurts as she meets Harold's eyes. "I'm— I'm not someone you can love anymore."
"Don't be ridiculous, dear," Harold replies immediately, squeezing her hands. "What gave you that idea?"
"You're gay, aren't you?" She replies. "You love men, and I can't be one of those anymore."
"I love you, Bubby," Harold said, bringing her into a hug. "Being gay is a loose label. I love you, no matter what. My attraction to you hasn't changed a bit, dear."
Bubby felt tears start to form, but she refused to cry right now. She hasn't cried in months, Harold saying he still loves her will not change that. "...thank fuck," she mutters into Harold's shoulder, and the man laughs quietly while rubbing her back. "God, I thought you were gonna fuckin'— I don't know. Something."
"You get too caught up in your head, dear," Harold smiles, and Bubby could feel his mustache rub against her clothes. "Is there a different name you wish to go by?"
Bubby immediately shakes her head. "No. This one is perfect. You're the one who gave it to me, even if it does have its… quirks." Bubby's mind went back to when he first met Gordon, who insisted that Bubby wasn't a real name. She mentally shook her head. "I like the name Bubby. It's who I am, the person I've become outside of those experiments." Proof that I'm a person.
Harold smiled as the hug broke, and he still kept her hand in his. He gave Bubby a peck on the cheek, staring up at her with stars in his eyes. And as Harold started to ask about if she had any plans for dinner as he led her to the couch, she knew that everything would be okay.
If the Resonance Cascade couldn't break their bond, nothing will.