Chapter Text
Waking up that day was challenging. That bed was very different from the one I was used to nine thousand kilometers away. It had been a week since I was back in France, after ten years living on the other side of the world, but my back still cracked several times once I stood up. As a 16-year-old, I wondered how long I’d have to live with this unfamiliar pain.
The bed wasn’t the only thing that was different here. Bordeaux isn’t exactly a small town by French standards, but when I compare it to the largest city in the western world, it feels tiny. Almost rural. The apartment wasn’t big, which I expected, but it was even smaller than where I used to live. The place only really had two bedrooms and two bathrooms, my parents’ and the one by the small living room. At least the ceiling was tall and the old building did give it a cozy feel I’m not really used to feeling at home. I was so used to living on the 15th floor, looking out of my window and being so close to the ground seemed a little unsafe, like anyone could jump in at any moment. At least I only really had to climb three flights of stairs, not all five.
“Candy, do you remember Kentin?” My mom asked as soon as I slouched over my bowl of cereal.
“No.” I’m usually very chatty, but after a week of getting used to a new country and the jet lag, waking up at 7AM for school was weighing me down.
“Oh, yes you do, don’t be silly! You practically grew up with him!” I wouldn’t really call the time between being born and six “growing up”, but now that she mentioned it, I did remember Kentin.
His father was one of my dad’s childhood friends. Despite being in completely different careers, they did manage to keep in contact. Even after my dad moved us to teach in a university on the other side of the world, Kentin and his family did visit us a few times.
Most importantly, Kentin was a little obsessed with me the last time he visited. The way he would follow me around did creep me out a little.
“In any case,” my mom resumed once she realised I wasn’t going to say anything else. “He just transferred to Amoris High, he might be able to help you on your first day.”
Now that was just great.
The rest of breakfast was rather silent, I ate slowly and mom hummed an unfamiliar song as she organized some of our things that were still in boxes. She wished me a good day at school. I thanked her, knowing very well she would ask me every single detail of the day once I was home.
It wasn’t hard to find the school, a few days ago my dad insisted we take the bus to it so I could “practice” my routing. I tried to tell him my sense of direction isn’t so bad, but he seemed to disagree. However, it was a good idea to go there, the building didn’t look like the schools I was used to attending: it was an old building made of brown bricks with an expansion to the right side of it with a much more modern architecture and what looked to be a gymnasium at the very back.
I was a little shocked when I got in, the entrance was at the big old building but the interior surely went through a renovation, it looked just as modern as the attached wing. The inside was brightly lit and a little too cold for my liking for a September morning. The principal’s office was small and the furniture looked about the same age as her. She was a short and well dressed old lady. I wondered how long she had been a principal here.
“Hello, you must be Candy.” She got up from her desk when I walked in and shook my hand. “Welcome to Amoris High School. I hope you feel at home quickly. You’ll have to forgive me, but your tardiness to start the school year has left me out of the loop when it comes to orienting you.” Tardiness? The school year began two weeks ago. “I suggest you go see Nathaniel, the student body president. He'll help you make sure your registration is complete. He must be in the Student Council Room now.”
She gave me very confusing directions to the Student Council Room. Luckily it wasn’t very far. This room looked like the very opposite of the principal’s office. The white ceiling lights shined bright, a few students walked back and forth, plants grew everywhere in large pots and there were awards, class photos and certificates scattered across the walls.
One of the larger desks was managed by a blonde boy wearing a tie that immediately made me feel underdressed. I glanced down at my dirty converse shoes and old jeans, sighed and approached him.
“Hi, have you seen Nathaniel around?”
“I’m Nathaniel. Can I help you?”
Of course the Student Body President dresses like that.
“The principal asked me to come and see about my registration.”
“Oh, you're the new student! Sure, I'll take a look.”
He turned to a pile of documents on his desk and shuffled through it before looking back at me.
“Well... It looks like there are some things missing here. Let's see... You still need a photo for your ID, and I’m missing one of these forms. The one with your parents' signature. You’ll need to hand that in too.”
I furrowed my brows. I was so certain that my parents had handled everything, I didn’t expect that there would be anything actually missing.
“It’s not a big deal, isn’t it? I mean, it’s only paperwork.” A little nervous giggle escaped my lips.
Nathaniel looked completely serious. He rolled his eyes, unamused.
“Just because you don't think it's a big deal doesn't mean this form is going to take care of itself.”
“That’s not what I meant.” I assured, a little annoyed he would assume I wasn't going to do anything about a missing document. “I just thought my parents had already taken care of every form. It doesn’t mean I can’t go to classes today, does it?”
“No, all the very essential forms are indeed here, you’re fine.” He shuffled through the papers again and gave me a map of the school, the syllabus for every subject and my weekly class schedule. “Come back and see me later. I'll make sure your file didn't get lost in all the other papers.”
I thanked him as the bell rang. The corridor was crowded with teenagers, but classroom A was small. I sat almost at the very back, hoping the teacher wouldn’t make my arrival a big deal and insist on introducing me to the class. All I really wanted was for that day to be as uneventful as possible.
Luckily, the French Literature teacher seemed to be the kind of person that wouldn’t make a big deal out of most things. His voice was low and monotone, it sure made the class quite boring. I spent most of my time studying the school map and trying to memorize the best routes to take that day, worried that if I got somewhere late I’d have to explain I’m new and draw attention to myself. Well, more attention than I already had as I noticed a few of my classmates were looking at me.
When the bell rang, the redhead at the desk in front of me turned around. She had a comforting smile and huge green eyes.
“You're the new student, is that right? My name is Iris.”
“Yeah, I’m Candy.” I tried to sound friendly as we both gathered our things.
“It’s your first day, right?” I nodded. “Cool! Can I see your schedule?”
I handed it to her as we got up.
“We have most classes together!” She seemed genuinely excited. “I’ll see you around then, it’s nice to meet you. I hope you like it here.”
“Thanks, I’ll see you later.” I smiled.
She seemed genuinely nice. If only our next classes were the same, I wouldn’t have stumbled around the halls bumping into strangers the entire morning. As the last bell before lunch rang, I hurried to one of the desks at the front, where Nathaniel was.
“Any news about that form?” I took him by surprise, but he seemed to be in a better mood this time.
“Oh yes, I'm sorry, it really was mixed in with other papers, I asked the principal to put it in your file. We only really need your photo ID now.”
We walked out of class together. He was a little taller than he seemed at the Student Council Room desk.
“So, do you know where I can get my ID photo taken? I’ll use the lunch break to do that.”
“You don’t need to worry about it now, it’s fine if you hand it in tomorrow.”
“Um, it’s not really like I know anyone, so I’d rather do something during the break.”
“Oh, ok.” His reaction made me a little more embarrassed than I already was. “You can go to the Dollar Shop a few blocks down, they have a photo booth.”
I walked out of the building as soon as I could. The school had a cafeteria with some pretty decent free food from what I heard, but I didn’t want to deal with not knowing where to sit and being all alone in front of everybody. I was lucky the Dollar Shop was a little full, waiting for my turn to take a picture took up all my break time. So much so that I bought a cereal bar and a bag of chips to eat on the way back.
With my map and schedule in hand, I started stumbling my way to class with little to no time to spare before class actually started.
“Hey, so you’re the new girl!”
Despite being a little late, I stopped in my tracks. Three girls had approached me in the middle of the corridor. Any hope I had that they would be nice vanished as I analyzed the look on their faces.
“Yeah, hi…” The blonde girl smirked.
“Wow, between you and that other new guy, we can't exactly say we got lucky this term, can we girls?
I opened my mouth to respond, but everything was happening so fast, I couldn’t come up with anything to say.
“Ow!” They pushed me out of the way while laughing. I had to take a deep breath to stop my face from getting too red. How embarrassing, out of the handful of interactions I had with other students on my first day, that was one of them.
All the other classes went by smoothly. Normally, they’d all be too boring for me to concentrate on, but I was so paranoid about how behind the syllabus schedule I already was that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of the board and my books.
After stuffing my things into my bag, I walked back to the principal’s office as my classmates all left for the day. She took a little while to end her phone call, but gave me no trouble and assured my registration was complete. I walked through the empty halls as the teacher’s “welcome to Amoris High!” rang in my ear.
It would be unfair to say that day was worse than expected. I knew that Amoris High School also had an elementary and pre-school, meaning a lot of my classmates have known each other for years and years and have pretty established relationships. I also knew that any time I had to get to know people while they were a little more open to outsiders was missed, as the first day of school for them was two weeks ago. Other new students surely already had made a few friends, or at least memorized some friendly faces.
I just underestimated how bad it would make me feel. On the bus, I looked through the window and reminisced on what my life was like just a few weeks ago. I missed everything, my friends, my room, my house, my school… that’s where I belong. Here, I’m an outsider.