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“How the fuck did we end up on a ship????? IN THE MIDDLE OF SPACE?!?!?” Lady Gaga yells. They were on a steady course to mercury, with lady gaga and taylor swift stuck together in a tight, cramped, spaceship.
“Should we make out??” Taylor says, pulling Lady gaga in for a kiss. They spend the next hour violently kissing each other.”
“WOAH. I didn't know you were a lesbian, Taylor." Gaga said.
"T-T-There's a lot you don't know about me". Taylor said.
!CRASH IMMINENT!
“OH shit!!! Our aggressive kissing must've sent the spaceship off course!!!!!” Gaga and Taylor threw their space suits on and braced for impact.
CRASH!! The ship crashed into the surface of Mercury, smashing into the surface of the rocky planet. Gaga stands up. Brushing off pieces of rubble off her spacesuit.
“Taylor, Taylor, TAYLOR!!!” Gaga panicked. She didn't see the surprisingly hot girl from the rubble. Tears welled in her eyes, realizing the only girl she’s ever loved is dead, and she’s stranded on the face of Mercury. Out of the corner of her eye she sees her.
She runs as fast as she can in zero gravity, dusting the rubble off her love. “Taylor!!” Gaga picks up a fragile, shivering Taylor.
“I’m not gonna make it, Gaga. There is one more thing I need to say. I’m straight. I only kissed you so I could take your DNA and clone you. I’m not sorry”.
Taylor’s head slumped, AND SHE DIED. Falling into Gaga’s arms. Gaga felt a heavy sense of guilt. It was probably her fault. The sun seemed blinding, growing as her guilt. WAIT. That isn’t guilt she’s feeling, or the sun looking brighter, the sun was getting brighter. She realized, her bbl she got illegally on the side of the road was botched as fuck!!!
It was so heavy, that her asscheeks were leaning to the sun, bringing the entirety of the planet into the sun.
Her suit beeped. CRASH IMINENT!!! 2 MINUTES TO CRASH.
*flashback*
Back alleyway of Big Bobby’s Butt Shop<
“So, lemme get this right, you want a BBL the size of the moon?"
“Yass. My BBL will be the most magnificent in the land. All the women will want me!. Gaga announced.
“Wait, you’re a lesbian??? Nevermind that. 1 million dollar butt surgery is the same for me.”
*back to present*
Holy shit. Holy shit. That BBL was totally worth it!! I mean it’s better than dying from cancer, I get to disrupt the solar system from my massive but!!!
With one final look towards the dead body of Taylor, Mercury falls into the sun, killing Lady Gaga and incinerating the remains of Taylor Swift.
The End!!!