Chapter Text
Third-Person POV
(Interview, Seoul, 20XX)
The lights in the television studio are warm and diffused, casting soft gold over the circular couch where six men sit.
They are Equinox a once the boys who filled stadiums with screams, now men in their thirties, with lines etched around their eyes from years of smiling and singing, hair dusted lightly with gray in places, shoulders broader and posture softer. Memorabilia lines the walls behind them: platinum albums framed in glass, old stage outfits preserved like artifacts, polaroids from world tours stuck haphazardly to corkboards. LED backlighting shifts gently from deep indigo to pale lavender, mimicking the twilight sky that inspired their debut concept all those years ago.
Steven sits in the center, eldest and leader, leaning back comfortably in a tailored knit sweater. To his left: Jeongwoo, fingers tapping rhythmically on his knee; Han, in a muted charcoal blazer, gaze drifting over the memorabilia as if seeing ghosts; Chihen, twisting a silver bracelet he never takes off; Juwon, legs crossed, smiling politely at the host; and finally Daisuke, the maknae, now taller than most of them, still with that boyish sparkle in his eyes, nudging Han playfully from time to time.
Millions are watching live across the globe. The comments section scrolls in real time, a river of nostalgia.
“They haven’t changed a bit,”
“My heart feels full seeing them together again,”
“Equinox forever.”
The interview flows smoothly. They talk about the old days, the chaos of debut, the exhaustion and euphoria of touring. They laugh about mishaps about Daisuke getting lost in Tokyo, Jeongwoo forgetting lyrics mid-performance, Steven burning the ramen he tried to cook for the group. The atmosphere is warm, like catching up with old friends.
Then the host leans forward slightly, holding her cards carefully. She’s been waiting for this moment, but even she treads lightly.
“All of you are either married or in long-term relationships now,” she says gently.
“Steven-hyung are happily married to JL, and living their quiet life in the suburbs, Jeongwoo is engaged to Woongki, and getting married next year, Chihen and Juwon spoke of their long-term relationship… and Daisuke just announced his engagement last month.” She turns her gaze to Han.
“But Han-ssi, you’ve never mentioned anyone. You’re still single. Is there a reason? Or just waiting for the right moment?”
The audience laughed lightly, a friendly, teasing sound.
Daisuke nudged Han’s arm playfully. “Hyung, reveal it. Secret lover hidden away somewhere?”
Jeongwoo chuckled, leaning forward. “He’s been ‘focusing on himself’ for ten years. We’re starting to think it’s his life motto.”
Chihen grinned, his eyes glinting with old memories. “Or… still holding onto a ghost?”
Steven, with that old, familiar teasing lilt that had calmed them through a hundred crises, added, “Still holding out for your first love, huh?”
The room waited. They expected Han to laugh it off, to deflect with a witty remark as he always did.
He did laugh but it lingered too long, thinning out into something hollow. And then it faded completely.
One by one, the smiles fade. Jeongwoo’s gaze drops to his lap. Chihen’s grin softens into something sad. Daisuke stops moving. Steven’s teasing expression melts into quiet understanding. All pairs of eyes rest on Han.
Han looks at his hands resting on his knees. He gives a small, sad smile, the kind that doesn’t reach his eyes. He takes a slow breath, and when he speaks, his voice is steady but thick, like he’s pulling words from a place he hasn’t visited in years.
“You know I have a story for you and the fans,” he says, leaning forward just a little, as if sharing a secret only this room and this screen can hear.
“I had a boyfriend before we got popular. Before everything.”
He pauses, swallowing hard.
“His name is Zhang Shuaibo. He was a freelance photographer back then. A talented, beautiful, full of life. He was hired to do behind-the-scenes work during our early days. Back when we were still sharing one dorm room, sleeping in shifts, and arguing over who ate the last packet of instant noodles.”
Daisuke’s teasing smile had already disappeared, replaced by a look of quiet realization.
“He practically lived with us during comebacks and tour seasons.” Han continued, his voice steady but distant, recounting a memory he hadn't spoken aloud in years. “Whenever I locked myself in the studio, he’d be with the maknaes, playing video games and watching bad movies until sunrise.”
Steven looked down at his own hands, the nostalgia softening into sadness.
“We did great, at first. We didn’t rush,” Han said. “He was close with all the staff, all of the members. The maknaes followed him around like ducklings when I was busy composing.”
Han’s fingers brush the edge of the couch cushion.
“But slowly, quietly… something bloomed between us. Like something delicate and unspoken. We didn’t rush. It started with long talks over coffee after soundcheck. Having shared playlists passed between earbuds. Movie nights in living room or in my room, squished together on one bed. A scarf he forgot in my bag, then returned with a note scribbled on a napkin.”
He smiled faintly, a ghost of the happiness he felt then. He looks up at the camera, eyes glistening.
“The kind of love that builds slowly, quietly… but deep enough to drown in.”
The members listened like they were hearing it for the first time, even though they weren't. They were hearing the version Han had kept locked away.
“Eventually, the guys found out and they were supportive but still have relentless teases. Always saying that one day Shuaibo would get tired of this life, or fall out of love with me.”
Steven cuts in softly, his voice quiet in the quiet room.
“Yes, we teased you. But every time we said it, you’d look at us so seriously and say…”
Han finishes the line with a sad laugh, tears starting to spill over.
“‘If that happens, I’ll do everything to make him fall in love with me again.’”
Juwon nods, his voice thick.
“And we knew… We knew how much you loved him. All of us believed you. So did you, because you loved Shuaibo and you thought that was enough.”