Work Text:
For so long, Urbain felt like he had to be strong, that he had to handle everything by himself because he was strong.
Even before his mother passed away, seeing her burdening so much work and responsibilities, and a lot of family problems, he had to pretend that he’d be okay in front of her. He didn’t have any time to act like a spoiled child to his mother—in fact, he shouldn’t. She already had so much problems, and giving her more burden was the last thing he wanted to do.
So he had to be strong, to be reliable, helping everyone around him. Because he loved this city and this world, and because it was definitely something she would want him to do: protecting the city where people—including the person he was looking for—live their life.
It was the same with AZ, and everyone in Team MZ. That was why he couldn’t afford to show his weakness to them. He had to be strong, to be reliable. He’s the leader of Team MZ, what would happen if he acted weak? What would happen if he wasn’t being strong and reliable enough for everyone? He couldn’t—he shouldn’t.
And then problems began to pile up, spiralling over his control. His constant failure in promotions, Hotel AZ being vacant of customers as ever, and then the debt to Rust Syndicate—which could be resolved peacefully thanks to his friends—it almost felt like all he could do were mistakes and failures. He wished he could at least do something right—he’s their leader for goodness’ sake—but he kept on failing, making mistakes, and he hated himself for that.
The most recent problem was… this.
Urbain sat on his bed, quietly watching Paxton sleeping on his side, listening to his soft breath. Reflexively, he gripped the edge of his sheets, feeling conflicting emotions overwhelming his chest.
He felt guilty for endlessly causing problems to everyone, and he was determined to finally set things right. Perhaps if he tried harder, if he pushed himself more and more, then he could at least mend the damage that he had done. He should be responsible, he’s the leader of Team MZ, after all. He had to do everything he could possibly do.
Then, it dawned upon him, that he really was his late mother’s son.
Urbain let out a small, dry chuckle over such an obvious fact. His voice still sounded hoarse due to exhaustion of not sleeping for however many days he had been working on that promotional video, but not as terrible as last night.
His mother never relied on anybody. She always did everything by herself, pushing herself to all of her limits, and was so determined on her principle. Even before she passed away, she said she was sorry for not being able to accompany him until adulthood—to not being able to accompany him for most of his life like most mothers do, as she also added her guilt for not being able to properly apologize to her mother—his grandmother, whom he had never met, whom he was looking for, if she was even here in this city.
He thought that’d be his fate as well, he thought he’d be bound to repeat the same fate that his mother had sealed herself into, because he deserved it. Because that was what he’s supposed to do.
But… Paxton’s words, and how he accepted his weaker, vulnerable self last night, awakened the selfish side of him that he always, desperately wanted to push away. The side of him that he wished he never had, but at the same time also acknowledged them as something human that perhaps his mother also had, but never had anybody to show that side to.
Relying on his friends. Relying on people he held dear.
Team MZ were his friends. Paxton, Lida, and Naveen… they all would be ready to help if Urbain just had the spine to ask for it. AZ also always looked very happy, whenever Urbain was curious about Lumiose and Kalos as a whole, and asked him about things he wanted to know from AZ. He’s always happy to help in his best capabilities, as well as Floette. He thought he should be carrying the burden of everything because he’s the leader of Team MZ, but he was wrong.
He’s not just their leader, he’s also their friends, and friends are supposed to help each other in time of need.
Urbain lowered his head. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to really lean on his friends in time of need. Perhaps there would be time when he’d revert back to his bad habits again, trying to handle everything despite his capabilities saying otherwise. Perhaps he would be too prideful to admit that he needed help. Perhaps it would take Paxton to find out he collapsed in a middle of working on yet another promotional video yet again, just like last night, for him to finally ask for someone’s help, to finally rely on someone.
Perhaps it would take him a long time.
But Paxton’s assurances, and words that he said last night, gave him comfort in a way that he couldn’t explain. In a way that made him want to lean himself to Paxton’s back, for once no longer handling everything on his plate, letting the ace of Team MZ handle things he wasn’t able to in his place.
Was it okay for him to expose his true self, his weakness like that? To the ace of Team MZ?
Maybe not immediately. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow.
Maybe someday.
Urbain inhaled a deep breath, as he slowly, carefully—so he won’t wake him up—leaned to where Paxton slept on his side. He drew his lips close to Paxton’s ears and whispered.
“Thank you, Paxton. I’m glad I got to meet you too.”
Urbain could feel heat rising to his cheeks as he quickly threw himself back to his pillow and buried his face on it. He cursed internally to himself for being such a coward, only saying the reply to what Paxton said last night when the latter was still asleep, blissfully unaware.
Well, perhaps someday, he would be able to properly say it to Paxton, and see his reaction.
If their meeting was indeed led by fate, then for all the prank—good and bad—that fate had played upon him, he was glad that fate led him to meet Paxton, among so many people in this world. It was truly a miracle for them to be able to meet, and to spend time together in this city.
And Urbain was glad.