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Why Laurence felt so weird when he learned that Garroth had a girlfriend was unknown to him. What was even more confusing was the relief that he felt when he soon learned that it was a fake girlfriend. He was glad that Garroth was still a free man, just faking it so girls would get off his back was such a genius idea.
So what did Laurence go and do after learning this? He got an actual girlfriend instead of faking it like he should've. Honestly, Michi was just so much work and was so annoying. He didn't even know why he picked her in the first place. There were so many other girls he could've gone with. And he chose fucking Michi.
He hated her guts. Her voice was so annoying. She was so annoyingly clingy and called him stupid pet names that he didn't even like. But he had to go along with it because he chose this. He chose to pick an actual girl instead of doing what Garroth was doing and faking it.
Man, Laurence was so dumb sometimes. He couldn't ever say that around Garroth. Garroth would just come to Laurence's defensive and give him a lecture about not being rude to himself. Garroth always came in and lectured anyone who was rude to or about Laurence. Laurence did that same for him, but it still didn't feel like it was good enough for him.
When Laurence learned Garroth was actually dating Ivy, his heart broke. He didn't know why. Laurence was a token straight guy. He couldn't be in love with his best friend. No, that was a ridiculous idea to even suggest. It was such an outrageous idea, an out there idea. No one should even think that it was true.
But... what if it was? What if Laurence did love his best friend? What if he wanted to be the girl that Garroth was dating? Laurence didn't want to be a girl, but he would be one in a heartbeat if he could just be with Garroth.
Good, Irene. He needed to get some advice. He couldn't go to Aphmau. It was so awkward going to her about love things. He had thought he had a crush on her last year, and that still made things between them when either of them brought up crushes or things like that.
But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he had convinced himself that he liked her. She was everything a guy could ask for in a girl. She was humble, but confident. She wasn't afraid to say things like it was, but found ways to still do it in a nice way. She was short and cute with a cute voice. By all means, Laurence should have a crush on her. But he never did, he just convinced himself that he had.
Why did he? Why would he convince himself that he liked her? Laurence wasn't someone who didn't support the queer community. He was a proud ally, shouting his support and being there for people that needed comfort or advice on how to come out. He thought he never would have to come out himself, but now he was starting to think he might need to.
Laurence sat at the table, tuning Michi out. Ivy was yapping Garroth's ear off like Michi was to him. Laurence could see that his best friend was tuning his girlfriend out too. They both often did that now. The two girls just never did learn how to stop talking. Even when the other was talking. They both just talked louder to be heard over the other. It was so annoying.
The brunet tried not to sigh. He was looking at Michi, sure. But she was the last thing on his mind. He thought of many things, but his thoughts always circled back to Garroth. Thinking about soccer? Oh, look. Garroth came to every one of his games. Thinking about swimming? Oh, look. Garroth was there swimming with him, not wearing a shirt. Thinking about math? Oh, look. Garroth was there helping him with the equations.
He suddenly stood up, cutting Michi off midsentence. Garroth and Ivy stared at him in confusion. Michi must've asked if he was okay, but he had learned not to even register her voice anymore. He only snapped back to reality when Garroth asked what was going on.
"I have to go to the bathroom," he mumbled then quickly left. Laurence did go to the bathroom, but he locked himself in a stall. He's never been more grateful for the private stalls that had normal doors in his life. His cheeks burned as he sat on the toilet, mulling over his thoughts.
Did he really have a crush on Garroth? If so, how would he go about this? He couldn't just break up with Michi while Garroth was with Ivy. If he did break up with her, girls would just be all over him again. And he really didn't want that. It was so annoying to constantly be followed. He never got a lick of privacy before. If he broke up with his girlfriend, it would come back. Probably worse since girls would try to prove to him that they were the better option than Michi.
Which probably was true. Almost every girl here was a better option than Michi. She's never hurt him, but he could tell she tried to be manipulative. But since he ignored her so much, just adding the occasional comment so she wouldn't think anything, it didn't really work on him.
Okay, so. How does he go about this? Should he tell Garroth? But what if that ruins their relationship forever? Then they wouldn't be able to go live with each other like they were planning to. Laurence didn't want to say goodbye to their years of friendship, the years that they were going to have together, just because Garroth didn't return the feelings he had just discovered.
And what if they weren't actually there? Maybe he was just trying to get himself to latch onto his best friend because Garroth was also dealing with the same kind of shit he was going through. If anyone understood the need to have a girlfriend just to get some privacy, it was Garroth. Hell, Garroth was the one who told him about it.
Laurence bent forward a little so his elbows rested on his knees. He held the top of his head in his hands, ruining the hair that he spent so long to get perfect. But at the moment, that didn't matter. He was trying to figure things out and not cry. He was scared of the future. He was scared that Garroth was going to hate him for something stupid like this. He was scared that if Ivy or Michi found out, they would use it against him to get what they wanted. Neither girl was above that.
A knock startled Laurence out of his thoughts. His mind, logically, went to someone knocking because they needed to use the toilet and there were no open stalls. The school was inclusive and had a urinal and a toilet in every bathroom and stall just in case someone needed it. Laurence stood up and quickly tried to compose himself. It was hard without a mirror. He couldn't see if his face was still tearstained, he knew he had started crying despite not wanting to. He couldn't see how messed up his hair was.
Another knock. Laurence had to get out so the person could go. He held his head down low and prayed to Irene that whoever it was wouldn't know that it was him. Laurence opened the door and moved aside so the person could go.
But, instead, he was pulled into a tight hug. The arms were so familiar, so safe. Laurence knew immediately that it was Garroth was hugging him. But why was Garroth hugging him? How did Garroth know that he needed the comfort so badly?
"Laurence," Garroth's smooth and deep voice said, "what's going on?"
He didn't answer, instead just hiding himself more into his best friend. Laurence didn't know how he should tell him. Or even if he should tell him at all. Garroth didn't push, just let him hold onto him like this.
It was no secret that Laurence was going through a depressive phase. For what reasons, no one knew. People loved to press on him to tell. Especially Michi. He really couldn't shake her. Even Garroth didn't know what was going on. Every time someone asked Garroth, it was always loud and right next to Laurence.
Laurence really tried to spend every second with Garroth. It was a good thing, because of Garroth, he wasn't crashing in soccer. He wasn't improving, but he wasn't declining. Which meant he wasn't going to lose his spot on the team. He wasn't going to lose being the team captain. Those both were things that he really didn't want to lose. He felt like he was losing everything else.
Currently, the two were hanging out in Garroth's room. Michi and Ivy weren't allowed to be alone in a room in Garroth's house, so it felt like Garroth's house was a much needed break from a constant, overbearing presence of a woman. Don't get it wrong, Laurence his sister and knew that Zianna could be a little overbearing, both women were preferable over Michi and Ivy.
Garroth was so caught up on the game that he was playing on his phone that he didn't even realize that Laurence was looking at him. Laurence really didn't mean to stare at Garroth. He just couldn't help it. Laurence loved taking in every detail of his best friend's face. There were so many times that he just wanted to reach out and touch Garroth's skin, it was always so soft, or run his fingers through Garroth's hair.
But he couldn't.
That realization kept hitting him. And when it did, it hit hard. Laurence rolled on Garroth's bed, making sure that his back was towards him. He tried to compose himself as quick as he could. He knew that Garroth was really the one person that he could talk about anything to, that he could pour his heart out to, and wouldn't judge. He loved his sister and adoptive father, but sometimes, they didn't understand that he just sometimes needed someone to listen. Not someone to fix all of his problems for him.
The younger wiped his cheeks and took slow, deep breaths. He really hoped that Garroth wouldn't hear the slight difference in his breathing and get worried. Somehow, Garroth knew how and when to pick up on it. Laurence silently prayed to Irene that he wouldn't.
But, of course, Laurence wasn't that lucky. Garroth set his phone to the side and got into the bed with him. He pulled Laurence closer and gently rubbed his arm. Laurence looked at him, his heart racing faster. Irene, why was this man so perfect?
Laurence finished unpacking the last box, putting his hands on his hips. He couldn't believe that he actually got to live with Garroth. It had just been a fantasy, but now it was real. Sure, it took the rest of high school and college, but now it was real.
It was so hard to believe. He got to live with Garroth! Sure, Dante was there, but Laurence didn't care. Garroth was living with him. And he couldn't be happier. He felt like that giddy teenager who threw himself on his bed and giggled over Garroth. Cadenza had made fun of him for weeks when she saw that, but she never did learn who he was giggling over.
He sat on his bed and laid back. Laurence put his hand onto his face and sighed. He still wasn't over this crush. He hadn't even told Garroth that he was gay. How would he tell him that he liked him out of all people?
Irene, this was always so complicated. And it only got more and more complicated the longer that he waited. It really wasn't a good thing for him to not tell Garroth. But he could get kicked out of the house and have to go live with his family. Not that he didn't love them, but he wanted to be on his own.
"Laur! Pizza!" Dante announced from the other room.
Laurence forced himself to stand up and went to the kitchen. For once, they were able to use actual plates over paper plates. They were still ordering pizza. Honestly, why couldn't they just order Chinese or something? Laurence liked pizza, but he was getting tired of it.
Garroth put the pizza onto the counter, making Laurence's heart jump to his heart. It took everything out of Laurence not to grab Garroth by his face and kiss him. He did notice that there was a lot more pizza than normal, which meant that the girls across the street were probably coming over.
Great. Just what he wanted. The woman he and Garroth were still 'fighting' over was coming over and Garroth would be the love stricken man he became when he was around her. Laurence really didn't want to resent her. It wasn't her fault and she was such a nice person. But he just wanted Garroth to act like he did around her when he around him.
The girls came and everyone got their pizza. Laurence joked and chatted with everyone else. No one suspected anything. After the first couple of weeks of realizing what he felt for Garroth, he broke up with Michi, so everyone thought he was just sad that he knew that they had to break up for whatever reason. Even Garroth thought that.
Which was fine. It was just fine. Nothing was wrong.