Chapter Text
Sideswipe had a bad feeling from the very beginning right at the moment when Bumblebee appeared in the doorway, loudly announcing that he had a combat assignment for him. He didn't specify what it was, only offering a cryptic You'll find out when we get there. He also never mentioned Sunstreaker's name, though Bee assured him that if Sunny started missing his twin, they'd surely find some work too. Sunstreaker, however, said his goodbyes cheerfully and, without batting an eye, shut the door right in Sideswipe's face.
The next warning sign should've been the moment Sideswipe stopped recognizing his surroundings. It felt like they'd crossed some invisible boundary.
The unsettling, total stillness of the north wing was overwhelming, yet his head kept turning from side to side, taking in the new but not particularly interesting sights. Everything seemed more dead that should've been possible in any physical or metaphysical form. Even their footsteps didn't echo the way they normally would in an empty corridor.
Any trace of life was swallowed by the cold, austere walls. The cloudless sky visible through the massive windows seemed to have less colors than it had just five minutes earlier.
-I thought this part of the building wasn't used- he began, but all suspicion drained from his voice the moment he said it.
-It's a bit quieter here, but I assure you won't be bored- Bumblebee replied without hesitation.
-Does this have anything to do with my last prank?- Sides asked, mentally drifting back to those moments, a smile already tugging at his lips.
-Yes- Bee confirmed curtly, his expression turning very serious- And I want you to know I bend over backwards to keep you from facing more serious consequences.
He glanced at Sideswipe out of the corner of his eye. The grin disappeared instantly, he took the bait.
Good.
He took a deep breath, trying to maintain poker face. Truth had been stretched a bit but something had to be done. Sideswipe clearly couldn't be left with too much free time because he got bored and that was a problem. So when Bumblebee had gone to discuss how to channel Sideswipe's endless enthusiasm into something less destructive, he'd noticed, out of the corner of his eye, an application sitting on Prowl's desk. He saw the name on it and that's when it hit him. Prowl had looked at him like he was insane. This couldn't possibly end well. But the brilliance of the idea lay in its contradictions and the fact that Sideswipe, whether he realised or not, had a certain soft spot for Strongarm.
-We have come to the conclusion that the best solution is for you to spend some time working a desk job. The legal department asked for help, so it's perfect timing.
-Ha! Good one, I'll give you that- he laughed nervously, waiting for Bumblebee to admit it was a joke. That in a moment he'd be back in his own quarters, free to continue doing absolutely nothing. But the old man didn't even blink
-I'm completely serious- Bee said bringing him back down to earth- And I'm serious about you behaving yourself too. The people working here have a much lower tolerance for nonsense, so you will act properly. You're not just representing yourself but also me and the trust I have placed in you.
-I'm serious too! I'll lose all joy in life! All the colors!- he gestured to himself- This will kill me!
-You'll only be there for a month- older man said, his hand hovering over the doorknob- I doubt you'll undergo such drastic transformation in that time. Besides, a change of environment will do you good.
Sideswipe didn't like the weight of responsibility that Bee had suddenly dropped on him. Everything in him protested. He felt pulled in two directions, a strange tension tugging at him, whispering that nothing good could come of this. That sooner or later he'd go mad chained to a desk. He had the urge to turn on his heel and run, but at the same time, he didn't want to disappoint Bumblebee, one of the few who had stood up for him, and he didn't want to lose that support.
-I think you'll like it there more than you expect- Bee assured him, but Sideswipe found it hard to believe that anything in there could change his opinion. Even so, he reluctantly trailed after that old geezer.
He looked around the room, which must once have been spacious in every direction, wide, tall and long. Now it was crammed with massive cabinets, their shelves sagging under piles of documents that to an untrained eye, looked like nothing more than waste paper. The desks hadn't been spared wider.
Swollen files lay one atop another, and it seemed as though a single wrong move could trigger a disastrous avalanche burying some poor clerk beneath a mountain of paperwork.
Bumblebee nodded to someone, communicating silently and pushed his way through the eccentric maze. Behind him followed Sideswipe, as if marching to his doom, silently praying he wouldn't accidentally knock anything over it would be stupid way to die, crushed under a pile of scrap paper. The expedition because there was no better word for the ordeal ended at a workstation near the far end of the room, cobbled together from several smaller desks and, unsurprisingly, drowning in documentation.
-Good morning- Bee began calmly drawing attention to himself. Chairs creaked, and backrests bend to their limits. Standing behind Bumblebee with no way to move in any direction, Sideswipe could see little more than the tops of heads.
-Sir, is there something we can help you with?- came a cautious, probing question.
-Actually, I'm here to help- he replied, gesturing toward fidgeting Sideswipe- As requested, I've brought someone to assist with the workload.
-Oh well, there must have been some misunderstanding. We meant someone who already knows the procedures- the voice explained gently through with a certain firmness- You know Sir, somebody who could actually speed things up instead of slowing them down.
Bumblebee placed his hands on his hips and nodded with feigned understanding, while Sidesipe, preoccupied with slowly connecting the dots about the owner of that slightly authoritative voice, and at one point, he even landed on a possibility but it seemed too obvious. Besides, plenty of people he knew had equally commanding cords.
-Well, in my humble opinion it seems you're barely keeping up as it is- Bee remarked, the subtle jab not quite enough to quell the objections.
-Sir, with all due respect, is this some sort of joke?- she asked now, entirely serious- Because I don't have anything like joke day scheduled in my calendar. And an engineer is about as useful here as a towel is to a fish! It is unethical to keep him here! Wouldn't it be better to I don't know have him solve an unsolvable mathematical equation?
-That wouldn't be very ethical eider- came a voice from the left, rustling papers.
-Then maybe have him build something out of nothing?- came another suggestion.
-Strongarm, Chase, please!- The sudden interruption froze the entire commotion. Sideswipe glanced sideways, the very same man who had just exchanged a conspiratorial greeting with Bee spoke again- Try to cooperate without complaining. You know each other so that shouldn't be too much of a problem.
Sideswipe's mind was raising more questions than answers. Was everyone except them involved in this scheme? Was that why none of the other workers reacted to the commotion? And if so, did scenes like this happen there often? Was that why their boss voice, despite its firmness, sounded so strangely calm? Or maybe that was just what came with being a dreary bureaucrat?
-Oh I'm sure they'll work it out- Bumblebee stepped back to let Sidesipe pass, giving him a reassuring pat on the shoulder as he moved away, snapping him out of his daze.
It didn't help at all. He'd been abandoned because what else could he call it? Bee didn't even glance back, nor did he seem to notice draggers Sideswipe was mentally throwing at him. He took a deep breath. Time to put on a brave face to a bad and uneven game.
His intuition had been in fact right, but for some reason he was still surprised to see Strongarm. At the same time he knew she fit a place similar to this all too well, maybe not that dull, but ultimately tied to law in one way or another. And knowing her, it was more than certain he wouldn't be getting any leniency given how things usually went between them.
They worked together when they absolutely had to, got along when conditions were right. All of it laced naturally with a healthy dose of jabs, sharp remarks and occasional sour looks. Innocent bestander might see nothing but constant bickering, but the truth was, the loathing was long gone. What remained was irritation one underpinned by a strong sense of fondness and, if one squinted, maybe even friendship.
-Long time no see- he began, putting on his trademark Smile No.3. Of course, it barely fazed her and ironically that calmed him a little. He relaxed into the chair (actually comfortable, but he wondered how long he'd last in it.)
-I'm not even sure if I want to know what you pulled to get yourself reassigned here- she shot back wrinkling her nose.
In his defense, his bigger stuns came with smaller though still annoying penalties. Even he was surprised that for something so harmless, Bee had found him this kind of substitute job and on such short notice.
-I think I should be the one asking what you got yourselves dragged into to end up in there
-Nothing- they both said at once, after which Chase added calmly- This is our main place of work. We are assigned to the investigative team if that's what you meant when we're needed.
He let out a silent oh, So they were here on their own free will? That was somehow even more depressing. His modest attempts of what had clearly been a series of unfortunate events leading to them voluntarily working here was cut short by Strongarm and her way of leaning back in her chair in such a manner that blatantly defies all the laws of physics.
-Sir!- she called out, unfazed by the fact that one wrong move could end in a fall cushioned by the stack of papers behind her but still a fall- What are we supposed to do with him?
-Give him next week's case files to read- came the reply. Unfortunately for him, the interpretation of that order was left entirely to his new coworkers.
-Here- A neatly stacked pile of files was shoved under his nose. At this rate, he'd grow old and die before finishing any of them at all.
-They won't bite- she added, watching the confusion painted across his face.
Maybe the words on the pages wouldn't sink their fangs into him after all, and yet he broke out in a rash from the sheer volume of text and from the feeling that he was being defeated by stupid words. Each time he decoded one sentence, another leapt at him out of nowhere with a fresh set of absurd combinations. He slumped hopelessly against the backrest, questioning his ability to read with comprehension. He was about 85% sure he wasn't illiterate, but that remaining 15% bothered him as did the fact that this place seemed to wrap space and time, and no one appeared concerned that everything dragged so mercilessly.
He fidgeted and squirmed and struggled so much that, in the end he achieved his goal and someone decided to show him mercy by letting him leave early. Quickly sorting the files, flashing a triumphant grin, bidding his goodbyes, making his escape, concentrating hard on the very important task of not falling on his way out.
The door clicked shut behind him. He let out a tired breath, and the surroundings were just as bleak as they had been a few hours earlier, but at least for today it was over. He even managed to walk down the stairs successfully, and very close to getting out of that surreal place.
-Sideswipe, wait!- Strongarm's voice rang out through the empty space. He looked surprised.
There she stood in all her glory, leaning over the railing. He narrowed his eyes, trying to make sense of the strange phenomenon that whenever she entered his field of vision, some odd glow seemed to spread around her. He had no idea whether it was a matter of angles and lighting, a problem with his eyesight, or perhaps sights from the gods. In general, strange things happened around her from time to time, things he couldn't explain.
He shook his head and started climbing back up, trying to shake off the intrusive thoughts. But, as it goes with attempts to effortless nonchalance, it usually fails at the moments one needs it the most. And of course, his own body betrayed him. He didn't manage to catch himself and to rub even more salt into the wound, it turned out the stairwell had astonishing acoustics.
One could hear a pin drop there, so naturally the crash of a falling body carried even farther. If only he had fallen alone with no one around, he might have survived it, swept it under the rug of embarrassment, let it fade into oblivion, forgotten it, pretended nothing had happened. He could have believed that a tree falls without making a sound if no one is there to witness it. Out of sight, out of mind, and all those comforting clichés.
But of course not.
Clearly, fortune, fate and other mystical invisible forces were not on his side today.
-Are you alright?- came the question from above, tinged with only a hint of concern.
-I'm fine- still flat on the ground he cleared his throat, fighting the flush of embarrassment rising to his cheeks- I just suddenly felt like taking a rest
He heard soft tapping of shoes, she crouched beside him, holding something in her hands.
-That's good because I thought you might have tripped- she began. There was a trace of amusement in her voice, though she tried valiantly to sound serious- These stairs aren't leveled properly, many had fallen before you but you don't count to that statistics since you're just resting.
-They actually pretty comfortable-he remarked with a hint of sarcasm, He was definitely bruised all over, silently praying he wouldn't start limping if anyone caught him bein defeated by a set of stupid stairs, he might just implode on the spot- Did you need something from me?
-Yes, I forgot to give you the legal codes. If you're going to be of any use, I suggest you familiarize yourself with them- she explained calmly, setting a stack of books beside him- There are my notes inside but don't worry about them. What matters is that you at least have some idea of what's going on.
-Thanks- he rasped without much enthusiasm. Today events had drained him. Feeling every last bit of motivation slowly evaporating- I'm sure they'll come in handy.
-Great- She stood up, smoothing out her clothes- Before I leave you. Tomorrow show up at 8:00 sharp.
-Mmm, not very doable- he clicked his tongue in disapproval, shaking his head sadly. Waking up at dawn was not an option- Earliest I can manage to show up is 9:45 maybe 9:30
-That's not up for discussion- she said firmly, her tone carrying a distinctly authoritarian edge, with no room for any negotiations- You will be there on time or I'll drag you there myself!
He somehow managed to make it back and immediately collapsed onto the couch. Sunstreaker wasn't entirely sure whether the accompanying creak came from the old worn-out piece of furniture or from exhausted Sideswipe
-I throught I'd get a longer break from you. How long were you even gone? Four hours?- he mocked his brother- Did you run away or they just got sick of you?
Whatever Bumblebee had come up with for him to do, it had clearly done the job.
-No- Sideswipe grimaced, sinking deeper into the couch- they said that they didn't ha dany ideas for me and told me to come back tomorrow. At 8!
-Terryfying- Sunstreaker scoffed, placing a hand on his chest and shaking his head with feigned concern- Really how will you ever cope?
-I don't know- He shifted around, trying to keep a spring from digging too hard into his back, and continued drowsily, eyes already closing- I'll think about it after a nap