Work Text:
. fml u fucked me up .
- song by rebzyyx -
“You’re so goddamn aggravating-! I’m already tired of you! Just- Just leave me alone!”
Broken Spawn stumbled back, eyes wide and quickly welling with tears. He lifted an arm to hastily wipe his tears away.
Fire Ring was already gone. Running away, running off into the distance.
A small sob escaped Broken Spawn’s mouth. Then another, then a wheeze. Despairing and pained.
What happened?! I just... I was just trying to give him a hug, I missed him.
He felt sick. Everything felt numb, empty. Nothing made sense.
Maybe he’s just tired of me. I just don’t get it. We’re best friends.
...
Hah... Guess the accurate thing to say is, we were best friends.
A sudden wave of nausea wracked Broken Spawn’s body, and he ran home, tears now falling freely from his eyes. He slammed the door behind him, collapsing onto his bed.
He wasn’t able to sleep that night.
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The next morning was bright and sunny. Ironic, if you considered the state of Broken Spawn. He’d stopped crying somewhere in the night, but it constantly felt like tears were about to fall.
He’d stopped crying, but internally, mentally, he’d gotten worse.
Fire Ring’s words haunted him. Haunted every moment he was awake, every single thing that he did. His words lingered in the back of his mind, leering and taunting.
Maybe I’m going insane.
...
I should take a walk to clear my head...
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The wind blew past him gently, a caress that did nothing to help Broken Spawn. For, when he stepped outside, he was hit with how much everything reminded Spawn of... him.
The trampoline, the billboard... everything.
He lay his gaze upon the trampoline first. They used to play and frolic around there, day after day, laughing and chatting together, uncaring of if they’d get sunburnt.
He was happy back then.
Then what am I now?
In a daze, he walked slowly across the road, making his way to the trampoline. Broken Spawn trailed his fingers along it, chest panging with hollowness.
He glanced up at the billboard. The figure on it was oddly familiar, even in Spawn’s unfocused haze of sorrow, of exhaustion.
Ah. That’s Fire Ring’s idol, isn’t it? What was his name...? Dom... Dom-something. Domin?
...Yeah, that’s right. It was Domin.
Everything reminded him of Fire Ring. He could never escape him, his grasp. Everything was cloaked with the memories they’d made together.
The nausea, the same that he’d experienced the day before, swamped his body, and he snatched his hand away from the trampoline as if it’d burned him, slapping his palm over his mouth.
Oh god, am I gonna throw up? I can’t- I don’t- I wanna go home!
And towards home he ran, clutching at his mouth, not even taking the time to check the road for cars. Luckily, there were none.
.
.
.
(Luckily? Is that really the word you’d use...?)
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The moment he’d lay down that night, he fell asleep, a stark contrast to the previous night.
Not to say that his sleeping was undisturbed, of course.
...
Broken Spawn looked down at his hands. They were... inverted.
Odd, but Broken Spawn honestly couldn’t bring himself to wonder or care about it.
He brought a hand to his eye, smearing the wetness there.
Then, Spawn took a long look at his surroundings.
Three portals lay ahead of him, one on the left, one in the middle, and one on the right. There was a path leading to each. Each path was lit by lamp posts along the sides.
Something tells me to go right...
So right he went. He stopped before the portal. It was beautiful, really. An obsidian frame, a substance the color of quartz swirling around inside it.
Ethereal.
But like before, Broken Spawn couldn’t bring himself to truly care.
He stepped through.
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He saw Fire Ring, standing across from him. Both were standing on their respective platforms, a winding bridge linking the two.
Broken Spawn gazed at Fire Ring, who only stared back. Fire Ring was first to speak.
“Spawn.... You know... we’ve been friends since we were kids...”
Spawn swallowed, pursing his lips against the sudden wave of queasiness and fear that shot through him.
“It’s a very long time, isn’t it?”
Broken Spawn let out a tortured noise, making a face.
Yeah, a very long time. Not long enough, though. God, I want you back, Fire Ring.
His thoughts were the most naked he could make them, yet he couldn’t bring himself to say them out loud.
“You were always so excited when you spent time with me.”
Then he was silent. His gaze weighed a million tonnes upon Spawn, and for a time that felt simultaneously like forever and no time at all, all the two did was stand there, eyes fixated on the other.
Finally, hesitantly, Broken Spawn took a step. He took a step towards the person who had broken him, towards the one who’d stayed with him forever just to push him away, towards the person who’d ruined his life.
Yet nowhere in the swirling mass of feelings that Spawn possessed could he find anger.
Betrayal, yes, but no resentment, no loathing.
Because in the end, Broken Spawn didn’t, couldn’t hate Fire Ring.
But he sure as hell hated himself.
He took another slow step, then began walking across the bridge at a slow pace. It took every ounce of courage he had in him to do so, not that he had much in the first place.
Fire Ring was always the one to do the socializing for him, in the past. Broken Spawn’s anxiety towards strangers and even most of his friends had spiraled the older he’d gotten. It’d never gotten better.
It was odd, foreign, to feel uneasiness towards the boy who he’d always felt comfortable and safe around.
But things had changed.
Stuck in his thoughts, it took him a second to realize he’d gotten to the other platform, standing in front of Fire Ring.
Fire Ring opened his mouth to speak again, expression cold.
“But... you’ve always been too infuriating...”
Broken Spawn recoiled, as if Fire Ring had punched him. He could find no words, nor could he do anything other than staring back at Fire Ring.
The world seemed to malfunction in front of his eyes, turning red and black, all the structures around them, even Fire Ring himself, glitching so badly that it hurt Broken Spawn’s eyes. A hell like no other.
Fire Ring’s next words only made it worse, screaming at Broken Spawn almost faster than Spawn could even comprehend.
“COME ON, SPAWN, ACCEPT THAT I’VE LEFT YOU, GIVE UP HOPE THAT I’LL COME BACK TO YOU-!”
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Broken Spawn shot up in his bed, heart beating at what felt like a million miles per hour. He clutched at his chest, gasping, crying. It took a few minutes for his heart to calm down, sobbing and coughing, trying to get rid of the nasty taste enveloping his throat.
He swiped at his tears, but they just kept falling. Spawn sobbed into his hands instead. It felt like he could never stop bawling, but eventually he calmed down... albeit only a bit.
This nightmare was disgusting... I should take a walk.
Spawn staggered out of his house, across the street. A few people passing by asked if he was doing alright, but he couldn’t bring himself to care or respond. Their worried looks lingered as he trudged past.
He stopped in front of the neighborhood convenience store. The edges of his vision turned dark, and the nausea, which Broken Spawn was getting used to, overwhelmed him once again.
I don’t feel well... I wanna go home.
He gagged, the taste of bile flooding his mouth.
I don’t wanna throw up, I’m so scared, I’m so fucking scared-!
Spawn spun around, half-stumbling and half-sprinting back towards his house, throwing the door open and yanking it shut behind him. He leveled himself onto his bed, groaning quietly. The bile in his throat receded after a moment, to Spawn’s relief. He let his eyes drift close, tense muscles slowly relaxing.
I hope there won’t be a nightmare this time...
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He was back at the place, the place with three portals. It looked the exact same as the night before.
Spawn ambled along the path, arriving at the fork where the path separated into three. Only now did he realize that there was a man dressed in a white suit, with a matching white hat and tie, standing by the path. He didn’t do anything except stare at Broken Spawn, and Spawn suppressed the shiver that wanted to run down his spine.
He didn’t blink, didn’t move a muscle, so Broken Spawn continued on his way.
Something tells me to go forward...
Spawn gazed at the portal that lay ahead of him with a strange sense of resignation. He stepped through, not bothering to observe the portal like the night before.
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The place that Broken Spawn ended up at was familiar. He felt a growing sense of dread, his fight-or-flight instinct activating, begging him to run away.
He didn’t, though.
Fire Ring’s house. It looked the same as the last time Broken Spawn’d visited.
Spawn could hear people in the house, laughing and talking. He began trudging towards the house, feet dragging along the path.
The door was wide open, cheerful music drifting out. Spawn couldn’t recognize any of the people in there, besides...
Besides Fire Ring himself, of course.
Broken Spawn stepped through the doorway, drawing multiple people’s attention upon him. The only person he was looking at, however, was him.
Fire Ring had a cruel sneer on his face, looking wickedly amused. There was a pile of gifts that lay on the table, presumably for Fire Ring.
“Oh, did you come anyways?”
Spawn winced, feeling self-conscious with everyone at the party staring at him. Fire Ring glanced at the other, a mean chuckle escaping him.
“Thanks, but, you know...”
Broken Spawn took a little step back, feeling a sense of doom.
“I wasn’t waiting for you.”
And there it was.
It felt like he’d just torn Spawn’s heart out, thrown it onto the ground, and stomped repeatedly on it. Broken Spawn swallowed against the lump in his throat, unwilling tears beginning to fall again.
Everything around him turned discolored, edges of Spawn’s vision darkening to the point that it was hard to see. Fire Ring was colored with all hues of the rainbow, from a mustard yellow to an off white.
Nothing moved for a long moment, before Fire Ring began making his way towards Broken Spawn, each footstep sounding like a bullet in the dead silence.
Just before he could get within arm’s reach of Spawn, Spawn’s whole world turned from dark to an eye splitting neon. Teal, yellow, and a bright, bright white among many other colors swarmed his vision, Broken Spawn shrieking as his eyes screamed in complaint.
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Broken Spawn scrambled to sit up, clutching at the bedsheets below him with his hands. His head pounded, a horrible headache no doubt caused by the nightmare.
He gasped, pounding at his chest as it felt harder to breathe. He relaxed slightly after a moment, allowing air to rush into his lungs. Spawn took long, desperate gulps of oxygen, rubbing at his eyes roughly.
His hands came away wet, to no one’s surprise.
This nightmare was disgusting... I should take a walk.
Broken Spawn shoved the door open, legs feeling weak as he stumbled outside. The blue sky was streaked with a pretty shade of pink.
The road was clear, no vehicles disturbing Spawn as he crossed the road onto the sidewalk. None of the people walking by talked to Broken Spawn, only casting quick, fearful looks towards him. He curled in on himself, walking faster, increasing his pace.
It wasn’t long before Spawn changed his route to go back home, unable to take the stares that other people kept giving him. By the road, the sadness and hopelessness that he felt seemed to increase tenfold, and a sob tore out of him. It ripped at his chest, ravaged his heart, and Broken Spawn had never, never, felt more alone.
“Why is everyone so mean to me...” he wailed, tilting his head back and looking up at the sky. His eyes blurred with unshed tears that threatened to fall at any moment.
He’d heard of heartbreak, caused by love, but Spawn had honestly thought that only applied to romantic feelings. But now he knew; even though they were only friends, their relationship entirely platonic, Fire Ring was the person who Spawn had kept closest to his heart, the person closest to him. And losing him felt like his heart was shattering into pieces, stabbing at his insides, sharp and savage.
The thought was delayed, yet still true, no matter how long it took him to face it.
“I feel weak... I- I wanna go home...” Broken Spawn hiccuped, before treading across the road, into his house once again. He lay down, threw the covers over himself, and cried himself to sleep.
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“H-Huh?”
Spawn fought to open his eyes, as he heard Fire Ring’s voice through the closed door of his house.
“SPAWN!” he heard; a loud, anguished, cry. “Please open the door, I came to apologize...”
Broken Spawn wrinkled his nose, shifting on his bed. He scoffed softly, but for what reason, he didn’t know.
“I didn’t think you’d feel so bad about it!” Fire Ring begged.
Forcing his eyes open, Spawn rose from his bed, a sense of foreboding settling upon him. He ignored it, however. The cautious hope that rose in him told him to open the door. What if...?
So open the door he did. As soon as it swung open, Fire Ring ran through, enveloping Broken Spawn in a warm, tight embrace. Spawn returned the hug, burying his face into Fire Ring’s neck, muffling his whimpers.
“God, I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to...” Fire Ring whispered against his ear. It felt genuine, and Broken Spawn hugged him tighter. God, he’d missed Fire Ring so goddamn much.
Fire Ring pulled back slightly to touch their foreheads, his soft gaze warming Spawn’s body. “I will never leave you again!” he declared, and Spawn couldn’t help the small smile that spread across his face. “Fire Ring,” he murmured, laughing softly as he saw Fire Ring smile at him, tentative. His smile was so familiar, and made Broken Spawn feel so happy, like he truly belonged.
...
“You’re too naïve if you think it’s true.”
Fire Ring immediately pulled back, placing both of his suddenly ice-cold hands on Broken Spawn’s head, and twisted.
Something snapped, a bone, maybe, as Spawn’s head was wrenched to the side, a burning, stabbing pain erupting from his neck.
Broken Spawn could do nothing but scream, everything burning, everything blurring. He was dying-
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Broken Spawn sat up, panting and wheezing. Slowly, as the clenching of his chest eased, a strange, twisted feeling of contentment settled over him.
Broken Spawn got up, using his shaking arms as leverage. Everything was monochrome, the shadows darker than he’d ever remembered, but he didn’t care. Broken Spawn snickered, a wide smile on his face. Fuck, he didn’t care; for once, he didn’t.
No more worrying, no more stress, no more feelings.
Broken Spawn knew, somewhere deep inside his mind, that he wasn’t making sense, but... did anyone really give a shit? No one gave two flying fucks about Broken Spawn, so why should he trouble himself about it either?
He skipped to his door, still giggling cheerfully. Throwing the door open, Broken Spawn pranced onto the road, facing the dark, dark tunnel to the left, where vehicles drove through, to get through the mountains that surrounded the neighborhood.
The smile he wore, creepy and ghostly, remained even as a car drove out of the tunnel, even as he made eye contact with the frantic driver, even as the car swerved but still didn’t miss Broken Spawn, rendering his body bloodied, his flesh gory, and most importantly, rendering Broken Spawn dead.
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So much blood. Is this all my blood? I didn’t know I had so much.
I’m gone just like you wanted, Fire Ring, right? You wanted this, and you know I’d do anything for you! Haha, I hope you don’t miss me. There’s nothing to miss, though, is there? I’m a useless wimp, just a weight you had to carry on your shoulders throughout our childhood, am I right! Heh...
Wow, my head hurts.
(I’m sorry. I miss you. I wish you’d miss me.)
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At the edge of the road, Fire Ring stared, gaped, at Broken Spawn’s body. At his eyes, sunken from lack of uninterrupted sleep, staring blankly at the sky. At his bloodied face. His body, his limbs, twisted in unnatural ways, in unnatural directions.
There was no way, there was no fucking way this was really happening.
Broken Spawn was looking at the tunnel the whole time, he could’ve gotten out of the way effortlessly if he tried!
If he...
And everything was suddenly clear. Broken Spawn didn’t try. It was intentional, his death, his...
His suicide.
Oh, god...
Fire Ring’s breaths came rapidly, and he let out a thin wail, scaring away the birds previously singing in the nearby trees. Then he weeped, and mourned, for his friend that was no more.
His best friend.
(His ex-best friend.)
And it was all because of him.
Fire Ring retched, slamming a hand on the ground to stabilize himself, before throwing up all over the curb. He puked until there was nothing left, and he was coughing up spit and an acid green bile.
Throughout it all, he screamed.
The rest of the day was all a daze. He faintly registered that the driver was asking him if he was alright, apologizing frantically over and over again, that officers were repeatedly asking him the same questions; if he knew the victim, if he witnessed the accident, et cetera. He didn’t respond, didn’t speak. Just stared.
Some time in the day, however, Fire Ring heard somewhere, from someone, that Broken Spawn’s funeral was to be held the next day, early in the morning.
That night, as Fire Ring collapsed onto his bed, he decided that he wouldn’t go during the reception or procession.
He didn’t deserve to be there. After all, Fire Ring was the cause for all this.
...I’ll go after… after everyone’s gone.
Fire Ring couldn’t bear to face anyone after what he’d done.
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Fire Ring woke up from a fitful sleep a few minutes after the clock hand ticked past noon. The funeral had long since passed, so Fire Ring forced himself to his feet, walking towards the building that usually held the deceased, and in turn, the funerals.
He entered the field in the backyard of the building, where a few gravestones lay. Fire Ring scanned the place, before spotting a memorial with the symbol of a spawn point engraved on it. He trudged his way towards it, each step feeling heavier than the last.
Daylilies and roses, among other flowers, were planted in front of the gravestone. Small words were inscribed in a delicate script.
Broken Spawn. Friend, neighbor, and loved by many. May you rest in peace among the angels.
Fire Ring trailed his fingers along Broken Spawn’s name, sorrow weighing him down. I’m sorry, he thought, but it was much too late to say the words now.
Despite that, despite the fact that Broken Spawn couldn’t hear him, he still murmured them softly.
“It’s my fault... I should’nt’ve left you alone, I should’ve been there...”
Fire Ring cleared his throat, misery clogging it up, making it hard to speak.
“Sorry... I’m so sorry, Spawn.”
He picked up a stick of incense that was sitting to the side of the grave, sticking it into the small dirt pot in front of the headstone, which had already been used during the funeral beforehand, considering the ash scattered over the dirt.
Lighter. I need a lighter.
Walking back to the main building, Fire Ring glanced back at the road where Broken Spawn had...
Where he had... you know.
Guilt and uncertainty warred in him, and looking at the street made him feel sick, so he looked away, continuing on.
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The person sitting at the front desk in the main building gave him a lighter without a word.
Fire Ring was thankful for that; he didn’t feel like conversing right then. Or ever.
Back at Broken Spawn’s grave, he lit the stick of incense, before blowing a puff of air onto it.
And he sat there, mourning, as the fire crept slowly down the stick, until it reached the bottom, putting itself out.
Yet Fire Ring still didn’t move or leave. He’d made up his mind.
“I’ll join you soon, Spawn.” He looked back at the road, but this time, he was sure, certain. “Please wait for me. I swear I’ll join you soon.” Fire Ring continued, mouth relaxing from its permanent frown, sides curling up.
He got up, looked back at the gravestone.
“I love you, Spawn. I’m sorry. I’ll see you soon.”
He smiled. “I’ll see you soon,” he repeated.
And Fire Ring skipped towards the road, a wide grin on his face.
Just like-